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 Sillyandserious
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 20
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I understand what you are saying....and I have thought the same thing more than once.

BUT according to my sister (who is gay) she said dating is the same no matter what team you play for. She has run into all the same issues. Being a girl (and having an understanding of girls) has provided her with no advantage in dating.
So I am not sure having a sudden enlightened understanding of the opposite sex is going to necessarily change things.

PS....men baffle me.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 22
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 4:00:27 PM
Though there are plenty of differences, I find tremendous irony, in the fact that at least half of what goes wrong, and shows up in these forums, is due to each gender expecting the other to be different, in situations and in manners in which they are actually the same.
 lookingforsophia
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 23
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 4:21:33 PM
I don't read alot; but google Images has some nice pictures of Plato's Charioteer.

Even The Lord Krishna and Prince Arjuna are portrayed as seated in a grand chariot yoked with white horses (Bhagavad Gita 1.14)

My horses are getting a lil grey ☻☺
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 25
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 5:17:56 PM
I honestly don't believe in gender differences. Of course I didn't write the Mars/Venus books either. I do think there are tendencies, but actual gender differences....nah. I think we're all more alike than different, whether it's gender, age, pick a social group....

What would be the purpose of understanding a whole gender? Unless you're REALLY active, you only date one person at a time. I find that takes up enough of my time and energy, just one at a time. If more of us focused on the ONE individual we're interacting with and disregard the gender crapola, it'd serve a far greater advantage.

Gender differences......ugh......will someone pass the Koolaid?
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 26
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 5:33:21 PM
If women were more like men.....
dating would be easier and more sensible.
and EVERYBODY would be getting laid alot more.
:-P

but as you ladies are not....
I guess we will just have to make do.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 28
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:04:22 PM
I think there's a lot of merit in Maslow's heirarchy of needs. It makes plain old good common sense, but I DO fail to see how it related to the topic.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 29
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:18:38 PM

I believe in Maslow's heirarchy.


Yeap, I believe in this too. Also about the personality types. This is more research stuff and there are 7 personality types. And this applies to men and women regardless.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 30
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:26:22 PM
"And this applies to men and women regardless." Exactly, that's why I was wondering how it related to the thread, which IS about gender differences. I thought maybe I was just slow on the uptake.....
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 31
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 12:09:07 AM

My guess is: Despite the classic complaints of "All men/ women are such & such", many if not most heterosexual people would not want it that way. ... IMHO, the very fact that men & women think differently is also the very reason why we are drawn to one another. ...... As in the Chinese Yin-Yang theory, it is these two polar opposites that complement one another and need the other for balance.

We're different because we evolved that way; historically, males and females had very different roles and responsibilities, and we became the way we are because it was the best combination of traits and behaviors to have our offspring survive. Most are intelligent enough to adapt should our mate die; we're still able to take care of our kids. But it works best when there are more than one person doing that job. The whole 'it takes a village' concept, where like minded people also help watch over other people's children has helped mankind tremendously.
But it would be much easier if we did think more alike in today's world; a great deal of confusion ensues during our mating and intimate relationships, because we see, and interpret the world around us, as well as each other's actions, differently. Of course, there are advantages to each gender's observation skills and deductive capabilities, so there's really no 'one' better way of seeing and doing things.
Viva la difference!
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 32
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 2:05:04 AM
I don't understand either gender. A lot of my male friends have a decent woman, a baby's mother, a fiance, etc., yet they still want to have someone else too. They really don't seem to think anything of it. It makes it hard for the guys who would be loyal, and treat a woman well. Women do the same thing. When I talk to these so-called players, they act like they are more lonely than I am.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 35
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:37:02 AM
JSNC7:


I know of only 1, possibly 2 men who shoot their mouth off, before engaging their brain.


Sarcasm? Or have you just never heard of a little town called Washington D.C.?
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 36
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 8:58:10 AM
It is much easier than this....You just have to recognize, how society makes people portray themselves, subliminally and non ...Thoughts , desires, and expectations placed and inbreded into us, growing up and and currently...
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 39
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 12:11:56 PM

Men taking on the same thought patterns, and, God forbid, EMOTIONS as women? Oh heck no, one of the things I love about men is that they are straight forward and easy to understand, and, if they're healthy, their emotions are steady, solid, and in check. This is unbelievably soothing to my feminine psyche.

I love women, but I think a man is the perfect creature to balance me out.


I am glad that a woman stated this. If a man were to state this some of the woman would get upset. This is not the first time I've heard this type of comment.

I saved a comment written by a woman answering a guy here in the forums a couple of years ago:

Quote: "WE don't even understand ourselves completely. I have a logical side that tells me one thing, but then my feelings and emotions often contradict logic, and then we're left to make a decision which to listen to. Hell, we don't even know what we're doing half of the time, so how the hell are you gona know?"
 DJninesix
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 42
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 1:58:36 PM
I've kind of given up. I'm a huge introvert, and women doesn't make it easy at all to stay interested. They usually are looking for something long term and someone to be "the one" . With such high expectations and standards, women shouldn't be surprised why men will cheat when they can.

I'm not gay, but each day I find myself less and less interested in dealing with women.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 45
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 6:17:18 PM

.... though I'd prefer to call it my "Quiet Place" rather than my "Nothing Place" and I don't live in caves, I live in castles....

When my sweetie moved in we insisted he have the 3rd bedroom as his "Penis Palace" - I figure two people in love need to be able to get away from each other from time to time. **grins**

I like the balance of male/female. If we understand more about how the other person approaches things, especially their communication styles, we can more easily tailor communication to work with them. I think it's a matter of paying attention, applying what you notice and letting any differences be ok.

Hahaa... Just today I was prattling on about my garden, caught my sweetie's barely perceptible twitch and stopped, saying"I'm talking too much" to which he quickly replied "No, no, its ok, I was just listening too much!". We howled.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 46
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 7:12:26 PM

Girls always seemed to win the spelling bees in school.
They played a good game of Jacks too; but never wanted to arm wrestle.


I liked to arm wrestle. I couldn't beat most guys, but I still liked to try.


Women are more difficult to understand because they don't even understand themselves.


What a load of sexist crap, but perhaps you are kidding.


Most men can say clearly what they want at any given moment and women can't even decide what they want for dinner.


Most women buy the groceries and cook the dinner.


How do you understand something that doesn't make sense?


You're right, but I understand that you are over generalizing in order to make your sex appear more logical and to boost your self-esteem by claiming to "make sense" and because you know what you want for dinner.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 47
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 8:56:04 PM

Men: Cave Dwellers
Women: Grassy Knolls

That was where you lost me. I didn't even read your post initially after that divisive statement.

Then I saw the quotes from it, and figured I was bored enough at the moment to read it.
I am sorry that I made that mistake.

Are you planning on writing a book for creating dysfunctional relationships Oneway?


It's hardly her original concept 3ffervescent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BxckAMaTDc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fF9B0lukM4
 DJninesix
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 52
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:33:00 AM
Actually, you got me wrong. I never said I was shy. Introvert and shy aren't the same thing. Introvert means I don't like dealing with people a lot. I'd rather be by myself that in a large group or with someone for a long time, but at the same time, I have needs.

The guy was actually correct. I'm looking more for a situation where the person is not looking for a full blown personal relationship but is mature enough to share a sexual relationship and a mutual friendship.
 DJninesix
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 53
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/18/2012 8:12:22 AM
You're absolutely right. The only reason I joined this site is because my friend said it was a good place to find hookups. He's a different race than me, so I think his "success" has to do with his race. Funny enough, I've had better success on other dating interfaces than this one than he has.

I guess this site really isn't for me. It seems as if 95 percent of the women on here are looking to get married or are only looking for the "dream" guy. Sometimes, actually, a lot of times I don't get women. The fact that most women wait for a guy to approach them first, and the fact that women seem really turned off by sex,has really pushed me further into being an introvert. However, yesterday I met a girl on a walk that restored my faith in women.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 54
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If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/18/2012 10:36:10 AM

Women are crazy.


Yeah right, and all men are stable and rational creatures right? This is such a load. Look at any news day and I can pretty much guarantee that there was some man going crazy on someone else, some where in the world, some man murdereing either their spouse, their workmates, some guy that "dissed" them, bombing their own countryman, molesting some child some where.. But its women that are crazy right? Men are just as crazy and unstable as women are, but for the last couple thousand years, the patriarcy has had to diminish women in order to keep them in their place, so all of these "traits" for women were put out there as truths, so here we are still trying to minimize women and demonizing them whith these ridiculous statements all the while ignoring countless examples of male irrationality.

I have met just as many chatty men, just as many insecure men, just as many illogical men, just as many ****y men as I have women, we just use different words for them. Men are assertive, women are pushy, men are straight forward, women are ****y, men are logical, women are irrational, men are strong, women are aggressive. Men are just as emptional as women, it just manifests itself in the way society has indictrinated it.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 55
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/18/2012 1:33:22 PM
when a woman looks deep within herself.. she'll realise she wants to be RULED..
fu.ck this 50/50 bullshit that doesn't work. she wants to be ruled, she wants a man she can be sure that if she's unsure, he is SURE. -- there is nothing in life, that progresses, when 50/50 is applied. you can't even play tug a war 50/50. that would be a boring game with no movement. relationships fail when they become 50 /50.


Yeah, right. If you know so much about women, why are you on a dating site? Wouldn't they all be flocking to you to "rule" them?


i agree with her that men are near perfect creatures.


Ever hear the phrase "A legend in his own mind"??
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 56
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/18/2012 1:40:15 PM


i agree with her that men are near perfect creatures.

LOL I hadnt seen that.
Well, nevermind the beer; if I come pick you up, I dont think theyll be room enough in my truck for all 4 of us....


I'm thinking there's probably not enough room in your truck for you, and his ego.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 57
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/18/2012 2:14:01 PM

By the way, the Chinese Tao of yin-yang doesn't strictly depict two polar opposites, but instead shows in graphical form two opposites that also contain elements of both. The yang part has a small sphere of yin incorporated in it, and the yin has a small sphere of yang incorporated in it. So neither yang nor yin is purely one or the other.


Spot on, thanks!


Women are crazy.


Perhaps this was said in jest, but I have heard it a plethora of times.

For centuries, women have been told that we are the illogical, emotional gender and that men are rational and sane. Even the word "hysteria" comes from the Latin word for "womb," but so does "matrix."

So, Bill Clinton was being rational when he didn't have sex with that woman? How about all the other men who let their "emotions" get the best of them and had sex with women who were better left alone? If you want a list of politicians who couldn't keep in their pants, here's one for you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_federal_political_scandals_in_the_United_States

I have heard men say that they just "couldn't control themselves"--how is that different from women who act on emotion? Yup, sexual desire is physical, but so are PMS and the effects of menopause, eh?

Jerry Sandusky was obviously being logical when he was raping young boys because he didn't get caught for decades; the men who hid what they knew were also very logical and rational, weren't they? Hitler was sane when he tried to conquer Europe and wanted Germany to be burned to a crisp if the war were lost? When Khrushchev pounded his shoe on the table at the United Nations, that was a TOTALLY rational act.


I saved a comment written by a woman answering a guy here in the forums a couple of years ago:

Quote: "WE don't even understand ourselves completely. I have a logical side that tells me one thing, but then my feelings and emotions often contradict logic, and then we're left to make a decision which to listen to. Hell, we don't even know what we're doing half of the time, so how the hell are you gona know?"


Don’t judge me by this woman and I won’t judge you by the actions of other men. Your inability to apparently understand that this is one statement made by one woman indicates that you lack logic and rational thought.


when a woman looks deep within herself.. she'll realise she wants to be RULED..
fu.ck this 50/50 bullshit that doesn't work. she wants to be ruled, she wants a man she can be sure that if she's unsure, he is SURE. -- there is nothing in life, that progresses, when 50/50 is applied. you can't even play tug a war 50/50. that would be a boring game with no movement. relationships fail when they become 50 /50.


When you have ingress into my mind, then speak for me. Until then, consider being quiet because your ignorance is showing. You have made your lack of understanding, empathy and general knowledge quite apparent, giving considerable access into YOUR mind.
 tensail
Joined: 10/15/2009
Msg: 58
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:42:21 PM
we are diff n it works, why modern rels r strugling is cause of feminism which has masculanated women n treid to feminise men.
v reason why rels used to work is we acknoledged n apreaciated v diff between men n women, n yes vey compliment each other n its synicrosity.
in recent times this mindset has changed n now v diff r seen in a neg way due to unblanced feminists rying to change things artificially.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 59
If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:13:21 AM
Men are direct: they'll tell you what they're thinking, right up front, even if their mind-bogging selfishness affronts the complex partner he wishes to conquer. Women tend to give them of the benefit of the doubt: I am the exception where I'll listen - and leave.
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