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 AUTHOR
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 251
Online dating working for you?Page 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I saw a commercial yesterday for another dating site, complete with fake date. The actors looked idiotic and the “jokes” between them made me want to barf. More marriages? Really? Who the fudge wants to marry a thumbnail pic? Oh funny…..

Anyway. What they were pretending to do on that fake date is what’s always happened for me with men in real life. It’s just natural in real life. One glance tells me if I have any interest in him. By the time we’re introduced and shaking hands, lots of good (or bad) stuff has already been established. It’s not phony, fabricated or forced. It doesn’t have to be.

Men are everywhere, FFS. Meeting men is EASY….just change your attitude. It works.
 barra62
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 252
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/16/2012 8:13:36 PM
Utter waste of time
 flowerifnooma
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 253
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/16/2012 10:08:44 PM
I'm not having any luck in here finding the person I would be compatible with. Even though I post what I am looking for I get people with the total opposite. It is very discouraging. I still hold onto the hope that the universe will guide me to the one I'm compatible with. How you doing so far?
 fairblonde60
Joined: 11/27/2010
Msg: 254
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/17/2012 8:51:59 AM
I'll add my name to the list that I'm still single which means, this online dating isn't working for me either.
But, I haven't given up hope that somewhere out there is my Prince Charming. I know he exists!

Questions were raised about why are pics so important? Well, we humans are attracted by sight first so pics ARE important to both sexes.
What's up with pics of you in sunglasses only? Bugs the heck out of me. What are you hiding? I doubt a man would contact me if I only had a pic of me behind some shades. Let's see what you look like men!!!
And, for me at least, I'm turned off by pics of men showing themselves half naked. I guess that would be the equal if a woman showed herself in a bathing suit. For me, I prefer to see those half naked pics if we hit it off and started dating...LOL

I've had quite a few dates but nothing much ever materialized. The guys I really liked either were serial daters (even though they stated on their profile they weren't!), were married and lied to me about the fact, were looking for a sugar mama or were expert liars looking for one-night stand!

I know there are decent guys out there but I haven't found any I'm attracted to as of yet. I know you guys exist!

And to answer that we women get tons of messages a day. Well, I don't so I cannot be put into that "category."

Also, to answer why I don't respond back to a first time message, well, for me, if I don't find I'm not interested I don't respond especially if the message states, "Hey, your hot!" If the message is a decent one to respond to I will let that man know I'm not interested but thank you anyway.
But, I have had some guys respond back angrily demanding why I wasn't interested and why I think I"m so high and mighty. WTF? So,if you men can understand why some of us don't respond back, it's because we don't want to deal with the angry messages or hurt anyone's feelings.

I've experienced lately men telling me I have "Too many rules." Which I have no idea what they mean. But, possibly it's because when I answer a question they ask and if I don't answer the question the way they want they label me and state I "have too many rules."
I have morals! If morals are now being called rules by men then so be it.
I also believe that these men who are labeling me are looking for a quickie and not a long term relationship.
I'm not like that. I have morals. I'm old-fashioned and don't like to rush a relationship because in the past I have rushed and it got me nowhere but heartache so now I try to take it slower so I can get to know the man and he get to know me.

I'm also wondering if men that I'm encountered feel that at my age I should be "easy?" Baffles my mind. Just because I'm in my fifties does not mean I am desperate.

And I've heard stories from men who have had same problems with women on dating sites as I have had. So the problems stems both ways and does not discriminate.

Just be positive everyone and patient. That ONE person will eventually come into your life when you least expect it. That is what I am hoping for myself.
 Sirenbliss
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 255
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/17/2012 9:35:22 AM
No luck for me AT ALL. I've met alot of men over the years off and on, but NOT ONE EVER turned out to be anything other than a lying, gaming, playing cheating scoundrel. Guess thats what's to be expected from men today.

I have a weight issue -- even though I feel I'm still attractive and I am taller than average, I'm heavy. The older you get the harder it is too, to find a guy so I feel I will likely never find a partner in life.

Its sad -- I'm educated, published, work hard, have a good heart, devoted to my family but no one seems to care about that -- they want everything -- thin, rich, AND good hearted.

I just cant win.

Melanie Simms
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 256
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/17/2012 10:11:26 AM
BaggageHandler said:


They encountered a woman, online or offline, that showed more interest then you. Simple. Blocked? I can only share with you my opinion. If I make a first move, such as sending an email, or I respond to your email, and you read the email and don't respond within 24 hours, I block you. Why? Time management. I won't waste my time on someone who clearly doesn't have time to write back to say they're busy. I feel like I'm an option to you. I'm just a date on your string of dates this week. Bottom line, I don't feel the interest from you. I move on and save my time.


My question is.....how do you know they haven't read your e-mail? I do believe those privilages are extended to only those that have upgraded.
Not trying to provoke a disagreement here but only giving someone 24 hours to respond sounds a bit harsh. What if they haven't even read your e-mail and they have gone on holiday, or they've come down with the flu. Gosh when I'm sick I don't even think about turning my computer on.

Anyhow....back to the original question.

On-line dating working for me?....Um, apparently not... hehe


...mae
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 257
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/17/2012 10:33:44 AM
Why does it have to be "all" or "nothing", when one is doing on line dating or dating in general?

When one gets a new job, that person may have a goal that if all works right, they might be the CEO, or top dog in that organization, company, department, on and on, but they should not be entering that place with that attitude that this is my goal, and I am ready for it right now and need that to happen immediately. Would it not be better to go to work each and every day, do your job, check out all the options of how to accomplish your goal, and be happy with the adventure of getting there, and not just the end result?

Is dating not just like this? Would it not be better to enjoy the date and the one you are with, knowing that your end goal might be to have one solid good relationship, but until you have figured out all the logistics of how to do that, with whom, and why, that the real goal is to enjoy the adventure now, with the end goal of enjoying it with one when there?

On line is just another tool for knowing others as friends, dates, partners, and hopefully more, but so is real life dating experiences when used as yet another tool. Why put all your eggs in this one basket, when there are so many baskets out there, and god knows........many many eggs. To think that just one is all you need, should have, and what you will search for, places undo pressure on that one egg to the point of cracking it and making it more than useless.

One will have a much better chance of finding that one egg that is best for you, if you open your basket up to having many that could be in it, and even adding baskets for you to enjoy as you get down to that one that will be just right. Why say that on line is the best and only way or worst way, or that while I do this on line thing, I am looking for just the right one, so will not even let the others be a part of my basket, and it ends up being empty most times, instead of full with choices that you can make that will be right for you.

Just a thought......

cd
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 258
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/23/2012 11:07:23 AM

Not trying to provoke a disagreement here but only giving someone 24 hours to respond sounds a bit harsh. What if they haven't even read your e-mail and they have gone on holiday, or they've come down with the flu. Gosh when I'm sick I don't even think about turning my computer on.


I agree---I have been online much more since my foot is broken--otherwise it might take me a day or two to get back to someone--not everybody has time for this every day. That to me is a reasonable train of thought.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 259
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/23/2012 6:55:32 PM

But, I have had some guys respond back angrily demanding why I wasn't interested and why I think I"m so high and mighty. WTF? So,if you men can understand why some of us don't respond back, it's because we don't want to deal with the angry messages or hurt anyone's feelings.


Then don't open any messages you receive from someone you have sent a polite "I'm not interested" message to. Just delete unread, and block if necessary. You have already done your polite part by sending the polite decline and they need to accept that, and you don't have to open any further messages or continue communication.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 260
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/23/2012 7:14:00 PM
I get tired of the endless correspondence. To my mind it should be first contact, two or three messages then a meeting (in a mutually agreed safe place) to see if you click. If it goes beyond a few days correspondence then it's rubbish that's never going to work.

I've had some right weirdos responding to me. One was a woman that sent me photos of herself naked and who tried to get me to join "somespamsite" which seems to be a paid site on which she had more naked pictures. Then she talked about threesomes etc. Never phoned me, never gave me her number then just quit responding. In the end I just blocked her - what a loser. I had another loser - she had loser written all over her profile but like I said, profiles don't depict the real person - she ended up asking me to buy her a mobile phone card - without ever having met.

People - you can talk on the phone. In Walmart they sell for $15 a verizon throwaway phone. It comes with $10 of calling credit. Put it onto the $1.99 a day for the days it's used and talk all day for just $1.99. I just cannot believe people don't do that - I have one. You can also use a Google Voice number and have that direct straight to your phone and nobody will be able to trace you. You can talk via Skype, Yahoo Messenger, GTalk and are pretty untraceable. It's EASY to set up an account.

I suggested setting up Gtalk to one lady so we could talk via webcam and suddenly she didn't have a webcam or any messenger software installed on her computer. A likely story. I rather suspect I was actually messaging a young lad that was having a laugh.

Is online dating working? Nope.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 261
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 12:49:19 AM
Working for me? Ah well..... I've discovered after all these years, that even right here 2 steps from decrepithood, I could still have all the one night stands that any one person might possibly want to handle... but other than keeping the pipes clear and circulating?
No.... not much at all in terms of something a bit more engaging from the waist up. lol
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 262
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 3:22:57 AM
well my inbox is never empty...
but 99% of the messengers i'm afraid don't interest me in the least!

that remaining 1% have "possibilities" but usually distance or timing are the deal breakers to any mutually agreeable meetings...
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 263
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 5:08:07 AM
My goodness Cap'n, you are wet behind the ears aren't you? Here's a clue.... if they look to easy to be true? It's a scam. lol

Oh for crying out loud, why is this site so anal about post lengths? I think I'm still being punished for 3 yrs ago... 3 strikes and my one liners are still keeping me in jail. Aahahaahaa ;-)
 geoweb
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 264
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 5:43:45 AM

that remaining 1% have "possibilities" but usually distance or timing are the deal breakers to any mutually agreeable meetings...


I know that feeling, Daffie...since I live in a small town in Northern Maine, distance, indeed, is a major issue, and since I live only 2 miles from the Canadian Border, Nationality is a problem, too! Many of the women that come up in a search that look interesting are Canadian, and even if their profiles allowed non-Canadians to contact them, the prospect of a long distance relationship, especially if they are still working, introduces many complications such as health care, losing contact with relatives who may not have a passport, taxes, etc. . I am looking for a lifelong partner, and am really not interested in dating someone who would introduce such serious changes in our lives. I don't want any conversations that start with "I love you, but...."
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 265
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:19:12 AM

well my inbox is never empty...
but 99% of the messengers i'm afraid don't interest me in the least!


I know exactly how you feel--maybe part of the problem is that. at our age, we know more about what we want, what we don't want, have become adept at recognizing deal-breakers, and are more likely to stick to our guns on these issues than when we were younger. With age comes wisdom, perhaps. That, along with a diminished number to choose from makes finding the right one a bit difficult.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 266
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:54:19 AM

mae_flowers
My question is.....how do you know they haven't read your e-mail? I do believe those privilages are extended to only those that have upgraded.

If you look under “Sent Messages”, you can still see:


Read
Unread
Read deleted
Unread deleted



mae_flowers
Not trying to provoke a disagreement here but only giving someone 24 hours to respond sounds a bit harsh.

Now this I agree with. 24 hours is far too short a period of time. Now I have received replies to initial messages after 2 to 3 weeks of silence, and I really have to wonder what’s up with that? Your life is so busy you can’t answer messages for weeks at a time?

c_deacon
Would it not be better to enjoy the date and the one you are with, knowing that your end goal might be to have one solid good relationship, but until you have figured out all the logistics of how to do that, with whom, and why, that the real goal is to enjoy the adventure now, with the end goal of enjoying it with one when there?

Very well said. I have a very similar philosophy myself.


 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 267
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 8:01:42 AM
I don't have time to date, too busy reading forums about people who date (or don't date, can't find a date, can't find the right date) online. Well off to another forum.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 268
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 11:39:41 AM
Online dating.... Craigslist killer....

Seriously folks, I have found online you get the weirdest, most unpleasant bunch of absolute losers you can possibly have the misfortune to encounter. On the other hand, I have met a few very lovely people online. It just seems to be that they are very much in the minority though.

I just blocked a whole swathe of people. They'd not responded to me in 5 days so I figure they're not who they say they are. Strange how they go silent after I try to make arrangements to meet...
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 269
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/24/2012 9:09:19 PM
If I like a woman, I respond to her communication no matter what. Period. I don't care if I have a hangover, my son is sick or my car is jacked up. I expect the same. It doesn't take much to reply that you're busy and provide your number so we can text. I pay for an upgraded account mostly so I can see if someone has read my email. It helps me weed out the individuals that are multitasking with a bunch of potential suitors. I've received replies a week after my message to them. Nope. Nada. I want someone that is into ME. I'll treat that special woman the way she treats me...with prompt responses. Peace out!
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 270
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/25/2012 5:38:37 PM
You only get one chance to make a first impression. If you cannot get timely responses initially I'm quite sure it's not going to get better.
 Titusks
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 271
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/27/2012 10:38:02 AM
Ok since I had had more than a few dating experiences on this site I figure I would post.

Ladies please don’t get mad and while I have not read every single post, I certainly hope
some of you get it.

User: eddieinabq said the following:

“Well, I do get a lot of first dates. The problem is that I am just not attracted to most of the women who I meet in person. Some of them look nothing like their pics, use pictures that must be at least 10 years old, or tend to lie about their body type. One date was a good 50 pounds overweight and listed her body type as "athletic".”

Here are some the thing things that are horrible wrong in the profile pics and send red flags to us guys:

1) Blurry pics where you can’t see facial detail. This is freaking 2012, the quality of pictures you can take these days are amazing and yet you post some poorly lit, crappy picture that would not even pass as a mug shot!? Really!?
2) Pictures taken in front of mirrors in messy bathrooms.
3) Pictures taken in unfinished basements with piles of dirty clothes or piles of crap behind you..
4) Pictures only take from the neck up, if we can’t see your body that is a red flag.
5) Pictures taken with groups of other women, we don’t want to see you in pictures in large groups.
6) Pictures with other dudes in the pic, don’t want to see other guys, catch a clue.
7) Pictures that show a clear disregard for fashion sense, ladies if you are overweight don’t pose in pictures with floral prints, really!
8) Ladies who take pictures “booty” posing, that stupid sideway pose crap, what the hell told you that looks attractive.
9) Pictures taken outside and your home/yard looks like crap or you look like you live in the hood.
10) Pictures of you wearing some stupid hat, covering your hair.
11) Pictures of you wearing a jacket, really!
12) Professional pictures, glamor shots.
13) Comb your hair
14) No sunglasses…

Particularly over the age of 40, if you are still raising kids a man will never be a priority. If you are raising your grandkids then there is a deeper family issue red flag waiting to happen.

If you post a profile in all caps… some of you still do this crap, why?

And profiles with rules, all those damn rules, you don’t need the rules, just do better vetting of respondents and move on.

If you are too busy to actually get to know someone, if you are going to school full time and working full time and raising kids whatever why are you on a dating site? Call a male escort service and save time.
But most of all have the ability to have a basic conversation. I don’t get that the majority of women these days can’t even carry on an elementary conversation. Men seem to be the only ones responsible for conversing.

And lastly ladies, with all of these crappy dating websites out there you don’t think some of us notice that you are on all of these websites with different profiles.
Women have turned more into liars and deceitful types than men have always been accused of.
Oh yes the attitude, some of you no matter how attractive you think you are none of you are good looking enough to spin the kind of attitude some of you manifest.
This experience is hard enough; some of us are seriously looking to find that special someone. If you are not serious then step off for the sake of honest daters out there. Please!
 northwildwoodnjman1969
Joined: 9/18/2012
Msg: 272
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 11/27/2012 10:40:40 AM
If online dating was working for me, I would have somebody special and wouldn't have any need for online dating.
 NVcollegeguy
Joined: 9/3/2012
Msg: 273
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 12/6/2012 10:01:32 PM
No online dating sucks. I feel like how the Germans felt at the end of WW2.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 274
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 4/7/2017 7:51:55 AM
I didn't realize how ugly renting was to women until I started dating
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 275
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 4/13/2017 7:32:20 AM
^^^^
What does that mean?

Your profile says you've met someone special and currently in a serious relationship.
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