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 SoHoTxChick
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 26
Online dating working for you?Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Hee hee. I can now answer this question. I was supposed to meet my first guy from pof this morning. Key word being "supposed to". He didn't call this morning- as he has every morning bright and early. That was not in his character since we had talked and texted all week long.
So, I waited for him- nothing. Around 10am I texted him and said- I may be new at this, but- if you didn't want to meet me, you shouldn't have asked me to meet you. That would have been the courteous thing to do. bye.
Anyway, as the saying goes.... there are plenty of fish in the sea! LOL
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 27
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/16/2012 11:54:47 AM

I did meet my boyfriend on here it lasted over 5 years. I am back to try it again and so far this site has gotten bad.


Indeed. Most dating sites are vastly changed from what they were 5 years ago.
The negative experiences that many women have gone through apparently have led most women to a state of inertia on most dating sites.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 28
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/16/2012 12:54:58 PM
Dirt women, for me it's the greatest and I couldn't be happier with online dating. But I have a several reasons it might be different for me than for others.

1) I work from home, so I don't meet people in the work place. I only go out to ride a bike, go places with married friends, go to a gym, etc.
2) I communicate much better with the written word Vs talking, especially when getting to know someone.
3) I have been on the Internet since 1981, so using something like chat or email is a 30 year habit for me.
4) Perhaps most important, I do not impose any geographic limitations to dating.

I have a feeling some men / women use their charisma / physical charm IRL to date, and a whole lot of what people say to each other when they first meet up actually doesn't make a lot of sense, they are using body language more than they realize and their words aren't scrutinized. But online what you say gets analyzed without any clues from one's body language, so those that are successful IRL often can't cope with the change.

BTW, what is that weird gun like thing you are using in the desert?
 GiorgioPR
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 29
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/16/2012 1:01:48 PM
Generally speaking, online dating is basically like spending a lot of time on Facebook (except many dating sites cost a lot of money. I was on JDate...$40 a month! What a waste. I view it more as a pleasant diversion than a serious search for someone. Seen in that light, it doesn't really matter who replies and who doesn't and if you happen to hit it off with someone - bonus! Having said that, I am amazed at the dearth of responses I'm getting. I'm a fairly successful guy, completely independent, in a fun profession (musician) and well traveled. I don't think I look like a gargoyle. Yet my ratio of responses is about 30 - 1 (one response in thirty messages) I try to make my messages fun and engaging, not just crude come-on's or one liners. So that does surprise me. But other than that, I just view it as another fun website to waste time on :-)
 AlfredoDP
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 30
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:21:52 PM
Yes, it is working.
First, by seeing how many are posting, gives us something to do: participate in the forums.
Second, I find it easy to meet people; so far have met already 5 in about 2 weeks.
But have to say, the thing we are looking for, love, commitment, would not be easy because one has to spend time, months, sometime years with a woman, or man to get it ...
Now, if we talk about what you all call "friends with benefits", I would like to inform the prudes, it is very easy.
I have no horror stories to report.
 spell_bound
Joined: 4/29/2012
Msg: 31
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:53:02 PM
Deacon said it best...
I understand the rural area concept, try living in an area with population 2200... oh well, it is what it is:)
 dirtdivamom
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 32
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:24:45 PM
It is a cannon that shoots tennis balls full of sand, it flames as it goes. A friend of mine is a licensed pyrotechnic, he brings out all kinds of cool stuff.
 dirtdivamom
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 33
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:25:32 PM
spell_bound......I hear ya, my town has 1500 :-)
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:53:42 PM
Met him on POF in 2007 - been around five years from our first real date. We're engaged (which I swore I would never do again). Have also developed some real friendships and met a lot of great people. We hosted a BBQ a few years ago to meet some of the forumites. Yeah, there's the others as well, but I guess it depends on what you focus on.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/16/2012 10:26:40 PM
Very interesting responses, and I can agree with parts of many of them.

Location, location, location! I live in a conservative area, and I am not very conservative....I know that is part of my problem. I don't hunt, fish, ride motorcycles, castigate professional people (doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc.) who earn more money than me, and who are better educated), listen to country music, or perpetuate racist stereotypes about others not in my racial category. That is not at my core, and as one poster said, "your core doesn't change." So, I know that for me, geography is a major part of my problem. I have more in common with "city people", and the largest, more liberal city (Philadelphia) is 105 miles from me. I find that in my area, I have more in common with gay men, and while that is terrific for friendships, it does NOTHING for my dating life. Oh, well......
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 36
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 12:11:34 AM
I don't do the bar thing so online is where I met most men I dated post-divorce. I have had 2 marriage proposals, but caught the first one cheating and the second one I turned down not because he wasn't wonderful but because he had numerous health and financial issues that will take significant time to resolve. Am back for a third bite at the apple but sfter reviewing my so-called matches, I am very realistic about the possibility that I will probably not find true love here so am focusing on forging new friendships only.
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 37
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 12:13:55 AM
This is a dating site?
More like a single hang out at best.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 38
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 4:12:28 AM

Met him on POF in 2007 - been around five years from our first real date. We're engaged (which I swore I would never do again). Have also developed some real friendships and met a lot of great people. We hosted a BBQ a few years ago to meet some of the forumites. Yeah, there's the others as well, but I guess it depends on what you focus on.


Wow, congrats on the engagement!
 jeri741
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 7:49:32 AM
I get on here on and off can't say I date much.I work all the time and just opened an art gallery and gift shop I keep busy. Being single doesnt bother me. I have decided that if and when it happens it will happen. You never know who will walk into your life. Be open talk to many and enjoy yourself..many will lie. Just go on til you meet the one who doesnt lie.
 dirtdivamom
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 40
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:04:04 AM
More great responses! I really don't mind being single, I for sure don't ever want to get married again! And I do have some FWB's :-)
But it would be nice to meet someone to go places with and have fun with. Not looking for a 7/24/365 relationship.

I will stick it out a while longer and see.....
 CuriousGrandma
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 41
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:03:25 AM
Thats what it means Sue...they have deleted their profile so they either got caught doing something they shouldnt or they made another profile to start with another woman. Ive had that happen a couple of times..turns out they were married and wanting a fling on the side. Women do it also so its not just one sex doing the lying..it can be both. On line dating can hurt just like in person dating but sometimes when you talk to a guy on line you are braver about talking about things and you feel a deeper connection so it DOES hurt when they just vanish! keep trying but dont beleive all the pictures and all you hear on line!
 MusicianInCanton
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 42
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:10:39 AM
Online dating, offline dating, none of it is working.
 ted61
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 43
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/18/2012 8:38:03 AM
There was a article on TV about paid online dating services. Basically they said the subscribers to the service did not have realistic expectations. They said people with only high school or college educated with majors in low income fields, were looking for professionals with high incomes. And plain looking, lumpy bodies were only interested in fit, attractive partners.

There are a lot of attractive, interesting people on here but I think everyone has seen more than a few ads where the poster had requirements for potential partners out of their league.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 44
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/18/2012 8:45:55 AM

college educated with majors in low income fields, were looking for professionals with high incomes. [


What is wrong with that. Education in a low income field is still an education. Not everybody goes to college to get a great paying job. Some people go to college because they like to learn things, hard as that is to believe.
 A.Verdell
Joined: 6/6/2012
Msg: 45
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/18/2012 11:39:25 AM
I have tried this before. Online Dating is not working for me. I meet plenty of nice guys. I have yet to meet the Right Man for me. No disrespect meant but I am not looking for a really older man...If you have retired and sat down to watch the TV....NOPE....
 naturalkindofgirl
Joined: 9/24/2010
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/18/2012 3:43:22 PM
I find pof is no different than any other sites, or any where in public like dances, bars and different venues and meet ups. It's the same everywhere. There are all kinds and they are mixed into every part of our experience.
We are looking for a connection with someone more than anything. I don't care if they don't look like their photo as long as I like how they look when I meet them. I have changed since my photo was taken too.

Also, I have found it is easier to meet people you wouldn't normally meet. But, it also exposes you to more of the people we don't want to meet. I have met fellows who were living out of garbage cans. They didn't tell me that but I happened to bump into the fellow the next day and he was 'diving' outside his place-the hostel. Oh well. He was my first meet up and I didn't let it deter me.

I have met some really great guys and even made friends with a few of them. I almost feel like I want to message women to meet more single women friends to go out and have fun with. But, I guess that is not what this site is for.

The frustrating thing for me is that all the men I message are not interested in me. All the ones who message me are not my type at all! Not any where near. Most are much older or much younger. The young ones all say I am hot and they like older women. As if I haven't heard that before or think the compliment will actually get them laid.

The older men are hairless and I specifically stated I want a man with longer hair. Also, I get men who send me poetry they have written for me as I mentioned I like poetry. But, the men who write are so unkempt and look like they just crawled out from living in the bush for months. Sorry guys but I don't want a sasquatch.

Anyway, it is interesting and not for the faint of heart. Cuz I have seen the man of my dreams on here and only to find out they are not interested or narcissistic in the most mental way possible-like I mean, not well.

But, I have hope and faith and may move to an area where men are more plentiful. I live where for every man there are 6 women! Slim pickins!
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 47
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:21:32 PM
My joke is meeting men on dating websites is like a giant tug of war: one big JERK after another.

Often people on dating sites use pictures or descriptions that are far from realistic. They make themselves sound better in their profile, or use a picture from 20 years ago. Ultimately you can wind up wasting quite a bit of time dealing with someone who is not what they present themselves as.

One man said he was 58. I was shocked when he arrived because he looked 80. He saw my shocked face and said he was really 74. "It's marketing," he insisted. "It's LYING," I retorted.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 48
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:49:08 PM
Dunno. I've met two great loves online. The first died, and the second lasted four years before the structural thing made it impossible, but wonderful human being. Right now, just treading water. But got to say, even most of the guys I did meet and it didn't work with were/are still super. And I can't quite believe they haven't been snapped up yet -- what's wrong wit' da gurlz, lol!? And ya, a coupla duds. One outright sociopath, and another dead-on egoist/alcoholic (dry drunk). But as I see it, the odds are for the good guys.

It does help to weed out the fluff early. I start by not accepting two word emails, lol! Work from there. And have to say, even the duds actually looked like their pics. . . . may be that I'm just lucky?

Enjoy: it's just a process.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 49
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:56:10 PM
Na not really. Starting to believe this is all about people meeting other people interested in sex.... It is much easier to hide it on here since NO ONE need know....
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 50
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/21/2012 12:23:33 AM
I don't know... have been divorced going on seven years and been on here off and on sporadically over that time. Tried a couple other sites briefly but this is myf avorite one.

I think you have to have a good attitude; you have to know you will find a lot more friends than good fits and you have to be able to handle talking to a lot of people and get to knwo them before really investing in anyone emotionally; as it is difficult to emotionally, physically AND mentally connect with people. That is what I call the big three and it is not always easy to find.

But when ou find it; you appreciate it and you then focus on that rather than always looking to make sure you're not "missing out on the next best big thing".

When you talk to a ton of people and meet a ton of people and get to know a ton of people; you absolutely cherish thos ewho are good fits and don't take them for granted; as that is a diamond in the rough. And when one clicks? You appreciate it for its own sake, focus on it and look away from the cue of people you are trying to get to know; and focus on the one tha you truly are clicking with.

Butuntil you find that good "click", you also need to appreciate tose who are awesome people who enrich your life even though you maybe won't end up dating them romantically. If you only focus on what you don't get or who you don't click with in more than just chemistry or more than just intellectually; you'll drive yourslef crazy. If you focus on how amazing people are, who they are and how your life gets just a little bit broader because of getting someone else's perspective added to yours; then you are not wasting your time. You are building your world piece by piece.

And the second you feel like oyu're wasting your own or other people's time? You hide your profile and get off the site and get your attidue back in place; until you're back to positive. Because when you're negative you will feel like you're wasting time and you will have a ton of one and dones. And when your attitude is better? You will have nothing but repeat dates, really getting to know people and feeling GOOD about time spent getting to know people. Till you find one that you really hit it off with emotionally, mentally and physically, and you spend time truly connecting; to see how you fit.

it's all good
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Online dating working for you?