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 TasmanianDance
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 151
Online dating working for you?Page 7 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
One thing that Ive found over the years is that it gets harder to get a quality date with age. The older we get the more materialistic and that is a big turn off for me. When someone is looking to use your wallet rather than at you well that just plain sucks.

Unfortunatelly that is the stage of life Im at.
 cityfangels35
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 152
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 8/30/2012 4:22:45 PM
i looked at it like this . sinces ihad very bad luck on here . with liars stalkers , abusive , and non long term . married men .... what i do is leave my profile up but look at other ways beside online dating . i look at this to be my last resort.
 bekind212
Joined: 8/21/2012
Msg: 153
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 8/30/2012 4:47:34 PM

my observation so far is, most women on here are married, or in a relationship


I am not married - I'm sure a majority of the women on here are not married. I don't assume that most men on here are married, although I'm sure some are. You've just decided to rule out a large portion of the site because of your assumption.

I still believe that there are truthful people on here. I believe I am, so why wouldn't there be others?
 bekind212
Joined: 8/21/2012
Msg: 154
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 8/30/2012 4:51:34 PM

I tend to find that the women are all looking for Brad Pitt types and want the "man of their dreams" or the "fairytale" whatever that is.


You've also just eliminated ALL the women on this site. I think that wide generalizations like that hurt the person doing the generalization more than anything else.

There is no "man of my dreams." I respond to a wide variety of men, but there are also men I write to who never write back. And I don't usually even message the "Brad Pitt types" because they are often the ones who don't reply. I look at it this way: they are not the men for me, if they are not interested. It has to be mutual.
 Michey63
Joined: 1/14/2012
Msg: 155
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/2/2012 10:55:40 PM
Nope same old crap, different day.
 searching4truelove00002
Joined: 7/13/2011
Msg: 156
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/5/2012 9:28:27 AM
Sometimes it works, most times it doesn't. I've gone on a few nice dates from here. It just seems that when you spend some time beyond the profile, and get to the reality of the person, the real stuff comes out. You look at that person from across a table and think to yourself......but your profile didn't say you were a air-head looking for a free meal...lol
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 157
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History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/6/2012 3:38:14 AM

I also believe that I can win the Lottery LOL! But seriously, I do have the same odds of winning the lottery as everyone else so why not buy a ticket? The only sure way to not win is to not play.


I agree with this 100%.

I have been online dating for years trying to find "Mr Right For Me" without success. Here are some random thoughts on the matter:

An awful lot of first contacts from men fizzle to nothing after two or three emails that I thought were going well.

Most men I am interested in are either out of my league or live much too far away.

Too many men think internet dating sites are populated by women who exist only to give instant, free sex to whoever wants it (I blame porn).

I am still here because "The only sure way to not win is to not play."
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 158
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History
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/6/2012 3:53:38 AM

It's amazing how many variations of the same line "Hi, you're kinda hot and I dig older women, you want to get to know me?" that there are.


Oh ! I thought I was the only woman getting those messages from young men.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 159
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/6/2012 5:52:14 AM

Too many men think internet dating sites are populated by women who exist only to give instant, free sex to whoever wants it (I blame porn).


Sadly found the same thing so usually just started and ended with a cuppa of some tea.. However society has gone down the drain..most women and I can speak for myself do not have to be online to have men wanting to spend the evening with her.. In fact she hardly ever has to leave her complex if that is all there is..

So if that is all there is, then Just keep dancing.. cause you just do not give me fever in the morning and no fever late at night.. lol

nativerock
 TasmanianDance
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 160
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/6/2012 6:35:47 AM
Its the BBW that scare me. Afraid of a rollover accident.
 3dogsandme
Joined: 5/18/2012
Msg: 161
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/6/2012 8:18:12 AM
I find most of the men are just looking for a "hook Up". No one seems in anything serious or long term. Or...lol....they wan phone sex.I dont know what that is about.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 162
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/6/2012 8:51:36 AM
I think online dating has been a fantastic advance in dating. The internet means you can meet a person anywhere in the world, how can that be a bad thing?

It does mean that those that can't afford to buy a car are going to be quite limited by online dating, but lack of resources has always been a negative. Those that don't know much about the Internet or have a hard time expressing themselves in print will have more trouble. Those that previously depended on personal charisma will find that doesn't translate as well to online dating. IMO flaws are easier to detect when you communicate via MSG without all the body language, which could be bad or good depending on the person.

The biggest plus for me is that it eliminates distance as a factor in meeting people, and I am always interested in anything / anyone that is a new culture or new experience, regardless of if it is mundane or exotic.

IMO many online users don't understand how to date online. They have a goal of getting sex or getting married, or getting a relationship. Rather, I think they should look for having a good time with people that are interesting and they have an attraction to, and the rest of what they want will follow naturally. IMO too many get hung up on rules they create that limit the number of people they meet.

Whatever other people's problems are, it has worked well for me. Perhaps I just didn't have high expectations, and I can't really know what the experience is for women.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 163
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/6/2012 9:27:07 AM

Whatever other people's problems are, it has worked well for me. Perhaps I just didn't have high expectations, and I can't really know what the experience is for women.


I think for me I have always had high expectations for myself.. However that is "personally speaking" and it has served me very well in my life.. It has brought much to my plate in various pursuits along life's course..

A man without expectations is a man without dreams of how things could be better.. You have to visualize it first before you can make it happen.. As I think it was John Lennon said I Have Always Been A Dreamer..

that has indeed worked for me..

nativerock
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 164
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/6/2012 10:10:08 AM
Yes, I stopped online dating because it seemed more like a 24/7 bar where men roam into to find a free hooker.

Oh, and there are also those who lie about their age (up to ten years in one case) want women young enough to be their grand daughters, want to have sex within hours of meeting, have herpes, serial daters, living at home or with a room mate, no car, or started talking sexual before we even meet.

The days of "courtship" are long gone. Today it's "I want instant everything" and I also find the shopping cart method of dating online to be a turn off. It's hard to strike up a chat with a guy you notice is online *all day long* (some sites tell you when someone is "online now") because it just gives the impression he's sitting in a bar trolling all day long. It sort of kills your sense of trust.

I know there has to be some good people out there (I always considered myself amoung them!) but too many men wanted to move too quickly (sex on the first date..I dont roll that way) and there is also alot of nasty, bitter comments thrown out if you dont respond favorably, usually attacking your sexuality.

Why do I need to be verbally abused on top of it?

Blah.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 165
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/6/2012 10:30:28 AM

I think for me I have always had high expectations for myself.. However that is "personally speaking" and it has served me very well in my life.. It has brought much to my plate in various pursuits along life's course..

A man without expectations is a man without dreams of how things could be better.. You have to visualize it first before you can make it happen.. As I think it was John Lennon said I Have Always Been A Dreamer..


Perhaps this is difference in semantics, I was saying I don't have high or really any expectations for any particular date or online dating in general. I have high standards for anyone I would have a relationship with longer than ~4 weeks.

BTW, IMO any interaction with someone, be it NSA or marriage, is a relationship. I don't have a desire for NSA, but I wouldn't 100% rule it out, just that I think that is a relationship of sorts.

My expectation for myself is simple, I think life in general gets better. My current challenge is day trading options, quite difficult for my type of personality. But if I master it, I am set for the next 30 years.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 166
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Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/7/2012 6:54:14 AM
3dogs --- phone sex is simply a man making love to himself, but he wants you to help him by talking dirty so he gets off quicker, then he can hang up and go watch football.

The woman gets nothing out of it whatsoever.

It's just another method by which they use us. Don't go along with it.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 167
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Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/7/2012 6:57:16 AM

phone sex is simply a man making love to himself, but he wants you to help him by talking dirty so he gets off quicker, then he can hang up and go watch football


^^Maybe I shouldn't, but I am dying with laughter at this one!!!
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 168
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Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/7/2012 7:00:32 AM
Volcano wrote" I stopped online dating because it seemed more like a 24/7 bar where men roam into to find a free hooker."

OMG how true!

The days of "courtship" are long gone. Today it's "I want instant everything"

Agree 100%. Fast food, fast sex.

"too many men wanted to move too quickly (sex on the first date..I dont roll that way) and there is also alot of nasty, bitter comments thrown out if you dont respond favorably, usually attacking your sexuality."

Yes, that is my experience too. I met a local man on a dating site and he invited me to meet him in a local coffee shop just 5 mins from my house. His first words were: Gimme a blow job. I thought I had mis-heard him, but he repeated it, so there was no mistake. I said, I came here to meet for a coffee, but he said that was just time-wasting, his flat was in the next road, let's go there now. I refused and got up to leave. As we emerged into the street the charmer said: "You don't have to come upstairs to my flat, you can just do it on your knees in the downstairs hallway. It won't take long. Come on, I am desperate."
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 169
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/7/2012 7:57:58 AM

Perhaps this is difference in semantics, I was saying I don't have high or really any expectations for any particular date or online dating in general. I have high standards for anyone I would have a relationship with longer than ~4 weeks.


Not even the slightest bit of hope when you are meeting someone for the first time? Even though expectations might not be very high there is an itsy bitsy part of me that hopes this will be the one.. I know if I have zero hope or expectations I don't choose to waist my time meeting..


BTW, IMO any interaction with someone, be it NSA or marriage, is a relationship. I don't have a desire for NSA, but I wouldn't 100% rule it out, just that I think that is a relationship of sorts.


I must admit had to look up what was NSA to know what you were talking about..Yes I suppose if you are into it and not ruling it out there would be hardly any expectations..


My expectation for myself is simple, I think life in general gets better. My current challenge is day trading options, quite difficult for my type of personality. But if I master it, I am set for the next 30 years.


That is kind of like trying to master gambling.. I am more conservative as far as stocks go, just prefer to watch my grass grow.. I do make sure to water the lawn every once in awhile.. lol

nativerock
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 170
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/7/2012 11:46:14 AM

....... Treat it all as an adventure, live in the moment, breath the air and expect them to be human, thats about all you can expect and it is a wonderful thing to meet another human.

Ding!
As someone up-thread said, it's not online dating, its online meeting.
... And, location, location, location does limit things.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 171
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/7/2012 12:12:54 PM

Not even the slightest bit of hope when you are meeting someone for the first time? Even though expectations might not be very high there is an itsy bitsy part of me that hopes this will be the one.. I know if I have zero hope or expectations I don't choose to waist my time meeting..



What do you hope for? What is your expectation on a date?

I meet people because I like them and think it will be fun or interesting. Usually it is, but I don't expect anything more. I suppose that is an expectation, but most on these forums seem to either plan their children names before they meet, or have already determined they will never combine households under any circumstances.

I figured out what FWB and NSA was from the PoF forum, I didn't know either until they kept using those acronyms so I looked them up. To me they all mean almost the same, FWB, NSA, fck buddy, if you don't move in or get married, the relationship is temporary and these terms to me are just different shades of gray. I know people say they have LTR that are stay overs, those same people seem to keep coming back because they need a new LTR stay over SO. Unless some activity is entirely abhorrent to me, I leave some percentage chance that I may decide it's ok this time, even if it's not likely to happen.

You are right, day trading options is getting close to being like gambling, far easier and safer to pick stocks and wait till news moves them. I am somewhat discouraged about my ability to trade options, yet I have an 80 year old friend that makes several million a year doing so. I can't quite master it even when I see it being done. Much more frustrating and more difficult than meeting the right person online. But you can say you are gambling about many activities, they aren't truly gambling unless they involve a high degrees of chance.

john
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 172
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/7/2012 2:55:17 PM
It's not working for me at all. I get messages from guys who are way older than me, or who look way older. I don't respond to those how hide their face behind sunglasses & a hat. Some are really fat, I prefer a man who is in some kind of shape, a gigantic beer belly turns me off. Some are ugly with bad teeth.
I've written to a few who are nice looking & they never responded back, so I don't do that anymore. I'm a firm believer that man persues woman.
I plan on getting out more into the real world. My kids are grown & I'm ready for a relationship, but finding the right man is going to be so hard. The ones that like me, I'm not attracted to them. The ones I like don't have an interest in me. Maybe that will change & I'll meet the right guy soon.
 Googleplus
Joined: 8/22/2012
Msg: 173
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/7/2012 6:14:20 PM

3dogs --- phone sex is simply a man making love to himself, but he wants you to help him by talking dirty so he gets off quicker, then he can hang up and go watch football.

The woman gets nothing out of it whatsoever.

It's just another method by which they use us. Don't go along with it.



I had women wanting phone sex or cybersex, but not on here.
 albert9800
Joined: 8/14/2012
Msg: 174
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/8/2012 5:07:10 AM
The online part is fine, the dating part..well.. what dating? 3 years and only 1 response to my profile (within 30 miles) and almost every note Ive sent..read..deleted. I did get 2 dates out of this site and 1 from match.. learned lesson seems to be.. profiles are deceiving.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 175
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 9/8/2012 6:06:41 AM
I actually have some really nice guys-when people complain about online dating it always makes me wonder why they are doing something that makes them unhappy--it is a free site that means there will tons of people on here and that means tons of rejection --if you arent happy with what you are getting as a result then you have to change what you are using as bait; post different pictures---INVEST in yourself--change your profile.
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