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Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 32
Bad sexPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

You can tell someone how to do the mechanical things in a certain way, but you can't tell someone how to be sensual. It's like the difference between an artist and someone who draws pictures. You can teach a person to draw pictures, but you can't teach a person to be an artist.

Not to get lost in semantics. I do agree to the above statement. It's like this guy was asking me the other day, can you learn to be a writer? And I told him, the skill, the grammar, the plot lines and all that you can learn, however, the desire to write and the passion to do it, you cannot. That comes from within.

So I do agree that if you are not able to be sensual or understand what that means, no amount of teaching will change that. But here is the thing. I have found out that many people that can be sensual, have not felt comfortable with their own sexuality and it wasn't until they understood that, that they were able to break free and do indeed learn. So there is where I disagree with you. Also people that are hypersensitive to sexual issues (one of the seven emotional types of personality) also tend to be many times damaged, so many times it takes them to unlearn stuff and get over some of their issues to then find that comfortable place in which they become more sexual and sensuous.
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 33
Bad sex
Posted: 6/18/2012 12:54:25 PM

@Above ..You probably have had sex with more women than me..LOL

Quite possibly --

I have had sex with a woman...

First pitch, one swing, and she knocks it out of the park.
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 35
view profile
Bad sex
Posted: 6/18/2012 11:28:03 PM
Maybe she has difficulty multi-tasking (recieveing and giving), I know I do. I can do one or the other at a time.

She might just be inexperienced therefore doesn't know what to do. She might feel that men simply like to touch and **** a woman and that be enough.

You could put it over as a fantasy you have rather than being serious about it and risking her feel silly or inadequet. Tell her you fantisize about her undressing you and touching you in whatever way you like it and that you want to live the fantasy.

You could suggest taking turns in pleasuring each other - first of all by instruction or even ordering like a game. Then maybe giving free reign to each other to do as you each want (using a safe word that mean STOP RIGHT NOW but is not 'no' or 'stop').
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 39
Bad sex
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:13:51 PM

She told me that wasn't the case. She said she was just holding back because she wanted to be careful because she didn't want to mess this up. So it sounds like it was a good reason why things went the way they did. Will have to see how it goes next time. Maybe the start of something great. :)

Whallah. And your biggest enemy turned out to be... Your own head.

Now suggest you have a date and go very slow. First try the talking part of things that you may like. Then start acting them on. Use a safe word, like mentioned above, it could be simply "I'm not ready for that." Talk about each one feels when someone is doing something.

Have fun.
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 40
Bad sex
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:15:55 PM
Some women like men to be a little more aggressive in bed. My ex was like that, wanted me take control in the boudoir.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 46
view profile
Bad sex
Posted: 9/10/2012 4:43:43 PM
Tell your mutual friend you need to talk to her about this. ;-) In fact, tell your mutual friend, in great detail, what it is that you'd like for her to do. Ask your mutual friend if there's anything in particular she'd like for you to do.

Quite the three-way you got going there. I think you should invite the mutual friend to your dates and take them to bed with you. You two could avoid ever talking to each other directly about anything. It could be a very interesting way to conduct a relationship. I kind of like this idea. Very creative.

Op, abelian has a valid point about how some women do need instruction. That kind of blows me away, since whenever you watch porn it seems like they really know what their doing.

Like they'd put someone into a film that looks like they don't know what they're doing? That would be cute. In movies, everyone always knows exactly what to say, unlike in real life where we don't have script writers.

I'm glad you talked to her, even though I was kind of into the intermediary fantasy.
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 49
Bad sex
Posted: 9/19/2012 8:44:04 PM
"""bad sex""" ???


Is there such thing ???

this is good sex, great sex and...

just SEX

nothing BAD bout sex...

Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 51
Bad sex
Posted: 9/19/2012 9:20:33 PM
i dont think any amount of communication is gonna help this girl. thats just been my experience. if shes bad, shes just going to be bad. feel free to try, but i wouldnt be surprised if she made no real improvements. in fact, im sure she feels like shes doing great right now lol.

you have to ask yourself if you think that this girl is worth it, even if she is really bad in bed.
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 53
Bad sex
Posted: 9/20/2012 5:25:57 AM
while just chatting on the couch ask her what turns her on and the slip in what turnes you on after all you are shareing naughty sec make a game of to put her at ease
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 57
view profile
Bad sex
Posted: 10/9/2012 8:39:05 AM
get off faster.
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