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 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 51
personality vs. characterPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Good subject. The poster that gave the definitions might change the semantics for us but I get the gist.

I think, in most cases, it takes about three months to really see the underlying character of a person. To see if they really are who they say they are. As far as the comment that most are hypocrites, I disagree. We are ALL hypocrites. Anyone who says they are not, is fooling themselves. The best of us try not to be, but we are. "How are you, today?" "Oh, I am great!" The person asking the question doesn't really want to know. The person answering it lies. We all do it. The honest person admits their failings.

This is a deep subject, OP. I will continue to read with interest.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 52
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personality vs. character
Posted: 11/24/2012 1:32:29 AM
We all should take the time to get to know our S/O in as many situations as possible before we decide if we should be in a relationship with them. And not just because "all that glitters is not gold", but because even if they have a pleasant personality and are of good character, their priorities might be different than ours.
This doesn't mean they are flawed or that we are, it just says that we may not be compatible at this time for this type of relationship and maybe never will be.
This is when it becomes hard to let go, but this is the type of situation where true character will be revealed. If you can get through this even though you will be sleeping alone again, at least you can still sleep with yourself.

Funny too that sometimes a person's personality does not reflect their true character. They may have a rough delivery, or they may come off as "cheap" or "naive" but they have hearts of gold.

As for the semantics, I've got to go with persona vs. character for this thread title.

Great thread OP! and great posts forumites.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 53
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personality vs. character
Posted: 11/24/2012 3:20:32 AM
Hi, here's my thought/opinion:

One has to look out for these character genius’/actors, (that’s my word for them), because they will appear later on after you fall in love with them. The problem that comes with these types of individuals is that they are more afraid of being themselves in fear of not getting the person that they want, then to be in their real character and lose the person they want. This can lead into a long term heartbreaking and emotional relationship/situation.

Tall Iq2 said it right; the truth usually appears months later. They’re bi-narcissus type of personalities. They will be whatever you want them to be in the beginning and change later, so be careful there are plenty of them out there in the world. They seem sincere and real, but they are total fakes. One day you’ll wake up and realize you don’t know the person you fell in love with because they are out of their character role, and your whole world will come crushing down. Scary. They think that once you fall in love with them, you will accept them, because you love them and don’t have the balls to leave them.

So do yourself a favor, don’t fall in love for the first six to nine months of dating. Be forewarned thou there are some bi-narcissus personality/character’s that can be fakes longer than a year.

It’s a scary world out there when a person is truly single and looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Take care,
Jan
 _gjetost
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 54
personality vs. character
Posted: 11/24/2012 4:57:33 AM
Something of an open ended question OP.

If you subscribe to that notion then on way to look at it is to say that we are often drawn to someone's personality but live with with their character.

Not the best of definitions, but certainly a workable one..
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 55
personality vs. character
Posted: 11/24/2012 6:01:25 AM
I've often brought this up myself, OP & think it is an awesome topic...
If a person at my age does not know the diff b/w the 2, chances are they have a spotty history & may not be a good candidate...
I've found oftentimes that a person of poor character relies on their "charm" to manipulate others...a person of good character tends to be steadfast & have certain qualities & may be found to be "boring" at times...

If a person constantly needs to be showing off, or is inattentive to how their behavior affects others, has poor manners unless it is to "get" something from a person, they generally have poor character...
 Trailsman5
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 56
personality vs. character
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:37:56 AM
Personality is what you see when things are going well.

Character is what you see when things turn to sh!t.
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 57
personality vs. character
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:45:12 AM
Suffering builds character...

So what have you been through. What defines you??

Or are you a sheep, an empty shell with no core knowledge as to who or what you are.

Thats why its good to know yourself.. sometimes the best way to learn is to enter relationships... since they often act as a mirror.. giving you the opportunity to see yourself if you wish. Sometimes it starts the lifelong journey of discovering yourself.
 AJ2517
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 58
personality vs. character
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:45:26 AM
Great post OP.....Personality and Character, two words that should be together but often are not...Character is after you are around someone for a while and you see who that person is......Can't have one without the other for me.
 Meeting_At_The_Crossroads
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 59
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/13/2013 5:43:53 PM
These two traits are what everyone looking for a SO here on POF is seeking. It truly is a challenge to determine if the person one chooses to take a chance on has them - after everything else is overcome, like initial coming together, the first meet, the dating, the attraction, the chemistry, and so on and so on... It takes a beginning and then time...

That and trust in the universe will see us through!
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 60
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/13/2013 6:03:41 PM
I disagree. Personality is not superficial, it cannot be faked. Character allows one to lie and put on a show. But character without personality turns us into lifeless drones. Personality is everything, it comes from deep inside out souls, if we have them. I will never date anyone who does not have a dynamic and robust personality. Personality is what makes each of us unique. Character is below the surface but lacks life. They are the principles we follow. For some people, these principles are deal breakers. But personality is what we all find attractive, it's the spark in each of us. I am not attracted to people because they are truthful and trustworthy, etc. Anyone can learn these skills. But personality takes years to develop and one might argue what we're born with. We can continue to grow our personalities and become even more attractive. We can also add to our character, but again, character is not what people find attractive.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 61
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/13/2013 6:12:34 PM
Sometimes I think the ones that want to rush you into a relationship or rush you into bed lack real character and know its only a matter of time before you see that. They are in a rush for a reason.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 62
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personality vs. character
Posted: 2/13/2013 8:16:51 PM
Not only are some shocked to find the real character of a person but many tend to then stick around thinking all the bad character will somehow turn into the fake personality they first met. When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.
 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 63
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/13/2013 8:20:44 PM
Does it really matter anymore? A person is defined not by what he does when people are looking but rather by what they do when no one is there! So, the only way that you'll determine true character is by spying on the person. lol
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 64
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/13/2013 8:40:14 PM
Watching these forums , and seeing what people say is interesting.Seems character isn't very important , when in fact it should be the most sought after trait . After being on this site awhile it appears looks and money are the main things considered . You have to pass the looks test along time before you get to the character test , rather amusing .
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 12:06:14 AM

Personality is what you see when things are going well.

Character is what you see when things turn to sh!t.


Practically perfect.

...have a little disagreement, argue about some little thing, or have a little unexpected obstacle, difficulty, or unplanned problem come up, then you see them. Take someone to the volcano's edge, and only then do you know who they are.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 66
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personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 12:34:55 AM
Damn, this personality and character stuff looks like it has the potential of getting a guy laid!....is there any way I can rent some over the weekend?
 richmackey1
Joined: 4/18/2012
Msg: 67
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personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 2:28:50 AM
Personality is "surface" person: friendly vs. reserved, easy going vs. intense, introvert vs. extrovert, etc. Personality is what attracts us, but isn't the basis for love (well, often it is, but it should not be, b/c it is superficial).

Character is the depth--integrity (best defined as how you behave when no one is looking) as the root of true honesty and trustworthiness. People fall in love w/ personality w/o giving it time to discover the other's true character, and then are shocked to discover the flaws in their loved one--lack of honest, lack of character being the most common.

Thoughts?


Although I think you have the definition of each flipped flopped, you have the right idea.

I would think of "character" as an act, role play, or the actual mask that is covering or hiding the truth. So to me, that would indicate the surface of a person and not depth.

And when I think of personality, I think of integrity. I think this defines who you really are. When you go deeper into issues you would think it was more on a personal level. So getting personal would indicate going into more detail or more depth, and not just the surface.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 68
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personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 3:11:50 AM
^^^^Duhhh....I think you had better leave what you quoted without your improvements....if anybodies got something flip flopped....it's you!
 THEMEPACK
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 69
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:03:26 AM
Politicians, need I say more...oh and Actors/Hollywood.
 richmackey1
Joined: 4/18/2012
Msg: 70
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personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:17:32 AM
^^^^Duhhh....I think you had better leave what you quoted without your improvements....if anybodies got something flip flopped....it's you!


Umm, you sure about that? Since both words are synonymous, meaning they are essentially the same, how do you beg to differ? The only thing I can come up with is that you may be a band wagon jumper. Even the definitions of each word contradicts each other. So please explain to me how? The dictionary isn't flawless when it comes to synonymous words. So I wouldn't 100% depend on that as my only reference. Common sense also plays a part.

"Following the blind, will only lead you all of of a cliff."----Unknown.

Characters or characteristics are expressed externally. They are features that define us. Features are outer appearances that covers the surface.

Personalities come from within. They are internal expressions that we expose to others. The definition of personalities is the sum of ALL characteristics, whether they be physical, mental, emotional, etc. This is what truly defines us.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 71
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:29:58 AM
You do have it backwards, richmackey. And no they are not synonymous either.

People often confuse the two, which is unfortunate, but I haven't seen it done so literally before!
 richmackey1
Joined: 4/18/2012
Msg: 72
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personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:39:29 AM
You do have it backwards, richmackey. And no they are not synonymous either.


Miss, please look at the dictionary. Sorry but they are synonymous. You got it all wrong.

Synonyms for character:
1. Character, individuality, personality refer to the sum of the characteristics possessed by a person. Character refers especially to moral qualities, ethical standards, principles, and the like: a man of sterling character. Individuality refers to the distinctive qualities that make one recognizable as a person differentiated from others: a woman of strong individuality. Personality refers particularly to the combination of outer and inner characteristics that determine the impression that a person makes upon others: a child of vivid or pleasing personality. 5. name, repute. See reputation. 14. sign.

Synonyms for personality:
Synonyms
1. See character.

Read it yourself, rich - you're not understanding it.


I did read it. Unfortunately I doubt that you even read it yourself. Funny that even when the dictionary says they are synonymous, you beg to differ. Amazing!!!! Do you just want to be contrary purposely because it went against what you believe, and you don't like what was posted?
 RobEcology1
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 73
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:41:00 AM
Wow; I agree with the personality vs character discussion up to here; "Sex is irrelevant" I can't agree with. Intimacy changes everything. You're dating a good looking, polite person, nice dresser, very courteous...but once in the B.R. and the clothes come off...at different rates...in clever vs. awkward ways...and one is soft and gentler than expected, and the other is rushed and rougher...and the sags and perfections are exposed in detail...things change....big time!
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 74
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:44:52 AM
Read it yourself, rich - you're not understanding it.
 gofurguy
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 75
personality vs. character
Posted: 2/14/2013 4:52:03 AM
personality brings us together but until the true character come through will the relationship find its way, so many are easy to disquise their short comings , but when its crunch time the real person will show
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