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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or      Home login  
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 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 26
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lolPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
OP---I met my ex fiance when I was feeling like you do now. I even told my son to call my cell phone after 30 minutes to tell me the house was on fire so I'd have an excuse to ditch the guy. Turns out this chore was one of the best dates I ever had and when the phone rang after 30 minutes, I thanked my son for calling and told him not to wait up. The date lasted 4 hours and we closed the Starbucks down. Even though the relationship ended two years later, there were a lot of good memories made that I would have missed out on if I would have blown him off. Take a break if you must, but never give up.
 Trevork52
Joined: 1/2/2007
Msg: 27
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Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 6/19/2012 4:43:55 AM
I suspect I must still be living my teen years then! I love the dating process! I still get the butterfly feelings when first contact is made and I get positive reponses. That's not to say that I want it to be a continual process. I really do want one of these encounters to lead to a loving long term relationship.
The problem is getting to this stage!
 CptIronJack
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 28
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 6/19/2012 7:59:18 AM
I started this around 3 years ago when I became unengaged as it was Feb 7th and thats a horrible time to go out. Found out I sucked at online dating rather quickly and went back to the real world where life is easier. But as I live 40 mins in the country, weeknights its not all that practical to go out so came back to here as I don't even watch TV.

For the first 2 years nothing happened on here. No biggy I still had the real world going on. This past December it exploded on me and I've no idea why. I learned to hate “THE MEET”, “just be yourself?” seriously? How can you be yourself while under the microscope? And I'm one who doesn't even mind being under said scope and its still uncomfortable.

So do I enjoy online dating? Not really. Do I enjoy real life dating? Oh but yes! But I live in a small town between two small cities and eventually you meet yourself coming.

What gets me, even tho I understand it, is why women are in such a hurry. I'm perfectly happy getting to know you via email, text phone whatever before we go through the dreaded MEET, but women aren't that patient. So I have to ask, are they planning on winning the dating game tomorrow, if not, exactly what is this waste of time they keep complaining about.

Two saturdays ago went out with a woman I met on here, met via email one day met in person the next at 10 am, hit it off from hello, spent the day together until 7 pm. Then 2 sats ago we went out to eat, played putt putt then went dancing till 1 am, both of us are killer dancers. BUT, found out why Virgo's and Aries don't belong together, this I'd have discovered via email eventually and we never would have gone out on that date. Yes we had fun, no I won't repeat it with her.

But you can always give up on online dating and watch tv
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 29
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Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 6/19/2012 8:06:06 AM

I'm perfectly happy getting to know you via email, text phone whatever before we go through the dreaded MEET, but women aren't that patient. So I have to ask, are they planning on winning the dating game tomorrow, if not, exactly what is this waste of time they keep complaining about.


for me it was making sure they are what they said. Sometimes people lie.. I know its a shocker, but its true! lol I don't like getting duped, and it just seemed the sooner you met the sooner you could either relax into it, or let it go. Ya know?
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 30
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 6/19/2012 8:21:39 AM
The meeting people part is easy. It's the cultivating part, email, IM, text, a phone conversation or two, that blows. No time when the weather turns nice & being online loses out to summer fun. I'm sure many do the same & take breaks. Give me a shout if you want to come to Jersey & hang out where Snookie does....lol.... The Tiki Bar in Point Pleasant is a great place too..... Cultivate that!!!
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 31
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Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 6/19/2012 10:44:33 PM
Ohenryx, I did say that to.inject a bit of levity! I was hoping that someone would see the humor in it, and you did.
 Turtleherder12
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 32
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Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:49:16 PM
OP, all I can do is commiserate and maybe offer some backhanded encouragement...I live in an area with a pretty small dating pool, and I grew up in a place where you'd drive an hour to buy groceries....so I'd also think nothing of driving an hour, maybe two, to meet someone. I see MAYBE one person a month who really interests me. About three or four in 10 delete my initial message without ever reading it. Another five to seven in 10 just don't respond. So I also write to a few people I think I could possibly be interested in, and I respond to a lot of my incoming emails. I generally get to date one person a year as a result of POF. None of them have worked out yet, but I haven't given up hope.

Do I get tired of this process? Damn straight! But I work on a college campus, so most people I meet are under 20 (and I just don't understand what older guys see in dramatically younger women), over 60, married, or a combination of the above, so I guess I'm lucky to have this outlet. All I can say is as long as you're getting dates there is the possibility for fun. Maybe go on a few less dates, but keep looking for the fun.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 33
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:53:46 PM
if it is not fun, why do it....
 Plenty_of_FreeTime
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 34
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/9/2012 4:18:49 PM
I have to agree with the OP,after awhile it does seem like online dating becomes a chore/game,
especially if you live in a somewhat small populated area....keep seeing the same profiles over and over....
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 35
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:18:35 AM
Don't do anything you don't want to and it won't seem like a chore.

Find different ways of meeting people... I had more success at a dog park than I ever did here ;)
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 36
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/12/2012 9:07:56 AM
its normal..like the others have said..get out and away from the 'puter..take a break..you will come back in a couple of months with renewed vigor!!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 37
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/12/2012 9:44:27 AM
I think now that my puppy has healed from his surgery will take Janet's advise and check out the dog parks..
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 38
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Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/12/2012 1:40:09 PM
You may also want to give meetup dot com a try. They have a huge selection of groups of
people that like to do the same things, ranging from winery tours/art galleries to hiking/beach volleyball.
I have much more fun doing something I enjoy & meeting people in a relaxed setting.

Dating sites are designed for romantic connections & that just doesn't hold that much appeal for me.
I do much better off line where it seems to evolve more naturally.

I agree with you about it seeming like a chore after a while. It's why I rarely date off the net.
I get bored with the mailing/set up/find a place/ what do you wanna do?
I have a better time meeting men when I in the middle of 'doing'.

bb
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 39
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:48:58 AM
i don't like online dating either. i haven't met anyone on here that is right for me. i have made some nice friends, and i have met some nice people, however. they just weren't right for me. i think it is hard to date when in your 40s. most of the men are married, and then there are all tu hese married guys that are trolling around looking for a hook up. it can get you down after a while. that being said, ia m optimistic that someday i will meet someone that is right for me. try to keep a positive outlook. i guess that is the only advice that i can give.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 40
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/14/2012 12:14:57 PM
What if you never enjoyed it? Lol..
 itsme2012
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 41
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/14/2012 3:15:06 PM
Im at the point where Im ready to hide my profile for a bit, Married for 20 years, then in a 3 year relationship after that. Been on my own for a year now and had 2 dates from POF. I am getting frustrated , its seem like the same thing, You chat and talk with these men, and they seem great, then when I met them, one wanted to get a room, and the other one couldnt stop taking everything I said and turning it into a sexual comment. Am I giving up too early ??? Now I can cold feet whenever someone asks me out, is it gonna be the same thing. Its just disappointing and frustrating
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 42
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/14/2012 6:27:02 PM
Need to take a break perhaps. These things are meant to be and it is all timing. You could be here five years before you click with someone or five minutes. If it is a chore then leave it. Something is telling you to forget it for now. You may do better with concentrating on real life connections where you see what you get upfront.
The chances of finding someone from dating sites is remote as I am sure you know.
 FitAtFittyFive
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 43
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:35:48 AM
A YEAR? I must be a real lightweight. I'm toast, and I think it's only been about 3 months! HA! You know it's time to hang up those datin' spurs for a while when excitement is replaced by dread when driving to those initial meet-ups.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 44
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Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:55:16 AM

itsme2012
Been on my own for a year now and had 2 dates from POF.

That’s hard to believe, you’re very cute. Your pictures remind me of Valerie Bertinelli, which is a very good thing. Are you by chance living in a rural area? Dating is much harder if you’re not close to a metropolitan area.


FitAtFittyFive
You know it's time to hang up those datin' spurs for a while when excitement is replaced by dread when driving to those initial meet-ups.

That has happened to me as well, and yes, that means it’s time for a break.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 45
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Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/15/2012 8:59:26 AM
I don't enjoy it, so I don't do it. Toward the end of my marraige nearly twenty years ago, I told myself that if I ever got out of this situation, I'll never get in it again. Like a dumbazz, I was out dating again within a year.....right back in the drama again. I finially realized what I was doing and quit dating altogether for another ten years. I guess over that much time, I forgot my lessons and tried once again here... unfortunately, I was successful finding a date that reminded me why I quit before.

Hopefully the lessons will stick this time. I started spending my money on sporting gear and a 4x4, and haven't looked back. Every time I think about it, I pull out my balance scale....for far less money, I can fill up the gas tank, head to the mountians, eat a few great meals and have an out door adventure off the beaten path and be free as a bird.

Compare that with constant spending for dinners and intertainment and doing things I could care less about, being called at 2:30 in the morning to fix a busted water heater pipe, put up with their family baggage and have to remember five or six gift buying occasions per year.....it's a no brainer. I just wish my testosterone level would drop to zero and severe case of ED would set in. I'm 64 now...hopefully it will happen soon! LOL

Funny thing is, I don't blame women for my feelings....I love them, I just don't want one of my very own. If I blame anybody, it's men....they set up this stupid form of society that makes both genders suffer. The matriarchal society of the "Mosuo tribe" in China have this sh*t figured out, (been working flawlessly for two thousand years) but the rest of the Christian world doesn't have a clue!

And of course, leave it to the outside world and the tourist...they are slowly exploiting and destroying the Mosuo tribe.
 cityfangels77
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 46
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:00:02 PM
it is hard online dating. because you dont know who you are really deal with on the other side of the screen . people can be whoever they want . and they build up a great profile . that sounds great but when you met them its another story . you really cant tell . until you met them . or invest time . there is red flags online dating through . its good to check it out before you just jump in
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 47
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:44:34 AM
OP..start bangin' some of these dudes and it wont seem like such a chore..or maybe you already are?/ lol...
 becknboys
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 48
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Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/16/2012 8:06:35 PM
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and opinions. :) I've taken a break from the online dating aspect of this site. I'm happy to have made a few freinds. To be able to laugh at some of the comments...eg. msg. 50...really? lol I think a positive attitude, seeing the humor in life, and feeling blessed for all that we have is the key to being happy first. I'd rather be happy and single than unhappy with a mate. Over thinking things just makes dating too complicated IMHO. :) Does anyone agree with the overthinking things?
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 49
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/17/2012 10:25:21 PM

Giving what is available out there, any dating must be really difficult these days.
I was in a large city in the North East for a few days last week and I was appalled at how fat the women and men . . young and old. . . And then when I was at a restaurant having my typical fish and veggies meal, I noted the "fat" peoplewere gorging on potato skins, fried onions, large steaks and all of that other really healthy stuff. A good number of people are way out of control. What is available in the dating pool probably is not very pretty for any who are looking.


Good point. My chance of finding a fit, athletic, intelligent man in his late 50s is slim-to-none in America.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 50
Does anyone this age actuall ENJOY the dating process after a year or more? lol
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:27:08 PM

Good point. My chance of finding a fit, athletic, intelligent man in his late 50s is slim-to-none in America.


I doubt that given your own fitness level and appearance. There are lots of fit, older and intelligent guys out there (I think I qualify. Some on this board may disagree). Just lots who aren't, and truth is fit, older and intelligent guys probably don't have much trouble dating. But I wouldn't think that fit, older, intelligent women would have much trouble eaither.

And if you are fit and intelligent, and also sweet and warm-hearted as opposed to cold and baitchy, the world should be your oyster.
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