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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 forumstud
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 101
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lolPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Rennips, I will ignore you adhominem attacks, again, and explain things to you as kindly as I can. We are here for different reasons. You are here to date. I am here for the discussion boards and for entertainment. If you want to date, you need to portray yourself as dateable material. You fail to do that. You portray yourself as a whiner.


you DO understand that multiple profile are a violation of TOS, don't you. When you might be out there dating all these loving older women,instead


Yea, so what. Geezus, you sound like a whiney old lady instead of like a man. That’s why I said you need to grow a pair. As for dating all of those “loving older” women. Well since I have been with the same woman since 1986, I don’t really think I quite qualify for the dating game. But thanks for your advice.


You are trying to claim that the forums are on the way out...so then why do you keep coming back? Do you think you can shout, swear and bully your way to forum acceptance?
Yeah. Good luck with that.


I am not trying to claim that, I am claiming that. Whether they are out of course is a story not yet concluded.

As for swearing myself to “forum acceptance”, that is the difference between you and I. I don’t need “forum acceptance” as some sort of validation of my own self-worth. I have pretty much made that clear from the beginning. I will say what I want and what I think. I’m not one for submitting to behavior and thought control. You on the other hand are a weak minded man who wants people here to like you. Huge difference between you and I.

I would say that if I was in the dating world, I would have zero trouble having as many dates or relationships with women in my age bracket as I chose to have. I would have a pretty decent shot at a younger age bracket too. I would have a non-ending stream of women available to me if that is what I wanted. Being a whiney old man, complaining about the lack of women available for a relationship would not be my drawing card. You have no idea to attract women. You need to go take a course or something.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 102
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 9/22/2015 9:47:43 PM


*raises hand*
Older woman who would very much like to find love checking in. I believe there are many amazing single men and women out there actively and passively hoping to find love.


yeah, that would be me too. And I also believe others out there are too; in spite of the cynicism I sometimes see places; including some of this particular thread sharing their own pain and distrust...

I'd like to think it's a few people not most people who feel that way...

and that there are a LOT more out there that have hope, healthy outlook, the ability to give the benefit of the doubt, and the true wanting of give and take...

Like the kid in angels in the outfield said, it could happen :)
 rennips1949
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 103
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 9/27/2015 3:28:29 PM

Well since I have been with the same woman since 1986,

Then why aren't you spending time with her, instead of here on the forums slinging BS?
Believe me, none of us is promised tomorrow with our special person.

I don’t need “forum acceptance” as some sort of validation of my own self-worth.

Yeah, right. That's why you put so much effort into continously re-joining every time you get booted.

You are here to date.

No, and you would know that if you'd paid one bit of attention.
I'm here to catch up on the dating trends and attitudes of the day, because I was married for a very long time.
I've already come to suspect that perhaps I mistakenly expected the eagerness to date/pair up to be at the same level as it is for younger adults who are looking for a partner with whom to build a life partnership.
People who've already built their lives and somehow ended up without a partner in later years, may be more comfortable coasting and trusting the Universe to unfold at its' own pace.
I can live with that.
 Crowbird45
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 104
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History
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 9/28/2015 12:39:11 AM
Once upon a time... In a.galaxy not so far away,

I was a member of a Seattle bulletin board called "CHAT CHAT CHAT". This was in the days before the internet. I would check out the single ladies profiles, peruse the chat rooms, and interact with different forums. Then one day someone from the Science Fiction forum accused me of writing poetry, and invited me to come to the Poetry forum.

"Poetry!?", I asked myself.

Isn't that a place where a bunch of women talk about frilly chic' things like roses, flowers, puppy dog tails, kitten whiskers, and little packages tied up with string? I didn't think it was a very macho thing.to do (not that I want to or try to be macho) I just didn't think of it as a very manly thing to get involved with. But, hey! Somebody invited me. So I shrugged my shoulders and went to check it out. And of course I was immediately hooked.

I found not only women there, but men too, brave enough to express themselves, in this art form. Warriors of the heart!
I met a band of folks that frequented Eastside coffee shops, reading their own work among others.
In some ways it was like joining the cuircus. A band of Gypsies, for you had Bards, performers, story tellers, tinkerers, and the like.

I loved that BBS! Because everyone there felt local. If I find a beautiful piece of poetry written by a woman on the internet today that makes me feel all dopey and doe eyed, I will find that she is far away and married.

Of course I want to post, interact, reach out and somehow make a connection with someone. To be vulnerable, to be a warrior of the heart is no easy thing for me. "For out of the heart", the Good Book says, " come fearsome things, cursings, blessings, some happy, some sad".

Then I hear a voice crying out in my inner wilderness.. "Let go Luke!" Oh yeah! Thanks Yoda! I forgot to drink my orange juice this morning! Orange is smart!
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 105
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 9/28/2015 5:57:48 AM
Crowbird---
invited me to come to the Poetry forum.


Consider yourself invited~ Type 'Poems and Quotes' in the SEARCH box at the top of the page and VOILA! there we are!

You're welcome<
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 106
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History
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/13/2016 10:38:06 AM
I was recently talking with a friend of mine from here in the forums. We were both complaining about the way these forums have deteriorated, and I mentioned how much I leaned here “back in the old days”. My friend asked me what I learned from the forums, which caused me to focus my thoughts. Here is what I replied:


Things I learned from the forums? Hmmm…

Number one, take better pictures. Nothing will overcome bad pictures. The really attractive women do get a lot of messages, and they will never read your message or look at your profile if your main profile picture doesn’t pass the test.

Number two, or possibly tied for number one? This is a numbers game. Much like making cold sales calls, you will have to make many, many attempts before you will succeed.

Number three, tied to number two – do not give up, do not get bitter or resentful, keep right on trying and maintain a positive attitude. Corollary: “You miss every shot you don’t take.” And “No one wants to date a whiner.”

Number four, this one from Cowboy: “Once you’ve sent a message, forget about it.” I remember, way back when, one attractive woman in the forums said she was offline for a week, and when she came back she had some ridiculous number of messages (500? Or more). So she deleted ALL of the old messages, every single one, and started over. This totally convinced me that I did NOT want to ever become invested in what happened to my sent messages. Send it, forget it, move on to the next. As Cowboy said, “The only thing that matters are positive replies in your inbox.”

But all of the above is ancient history, more recently all I seem to see are men complaining about spending money on dates. For crying out loud, if you don’t have money to spend on dating, then forget about dating and work on improving your situation in life. Get a job, get a better job, go back to school and get some training so you can get a better job. I spend a lot of money on women, and dating, and it is FUN! If I didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t do it.

And, from the opposite side, women complaining that all men want is s_x. If he stops calling, it’s because she had s_x with him on the third date. Or it’s because she didn’t have s_x with him. Hey, folks, dating is about s_x and s_xual attraction. We would not be here otherwise.

 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 107
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History
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/13/2016 11:20:01 AM
I've made some lovely friendships through various online forums--the kind where you enjoy the online interactions so much, you make the effort to meet in person. The forums give you a fuller picture of people, although it takes time to see the true individual emerge, b/c it is oh so easy to maintain a front for any number of months! I know, b/c I realize I did it (not intentionally). I'm such a people pleaser IRL and I have both fallen into that online and adamantly rejected that role. Now I just say what I think in a manner that suits me, and I move on. A lot less reading to see what--if anything-someone replies to my reply.

Enjoy your time online, and remember that it is only a part of life b/c it can really suck up a lot of time!
 LookingThruaLens
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 108
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/13/2016 12:30:39 PM
I think relationships start with conversation.
 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 109
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History
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/13/2016 11:54:08 PM
the forums are a real eye-opener, that's for sure
 analovesprincesses
Joined: 3/6/2016
Msg: 110
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/14/2016 3:31:10 AM

But all of the above is ancient history, more recently all I seem to see are men complaining about spending money on dates. For crying out loud, if you don’t have money to spend on dating, then forget about dating and work on improving your situation in life. Get a job, get a better job, go back to school and get some training so you can get a better job. I spend a lot of money on women, and dating, and it is FUN! If I didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t do it.


Cheapskates richly earn their just desserts.


And, from the opposite side, women complaining that all men want is s_x. If he stops calling, it’s because she had s_x with him on the third date. Or it’s because she didn’t have s_x with him. Hey, folks, dating is about s_x and s_xual attraction. We would not be here otherwise.


The complaints I've read in the forums seemed to be directed at a certain group of women by other (jealous) women.

Sexually-active (very attractive), outspoken women who post on the forums about their positive dating experiences are vilified for having and enjoying sex. They are denigrated for accepting dinner dates paid for by the men who invited them and demanding good treatment (which they deserve to have); harassed, too, when they speak up for themselves! They are wrongfully accused of engaging in prostitution (which is still deemed a crime in some jurisdictions) by said jealous women in order disempower them from making choices about their own lives and empowering jerkish men by fostering their skewed beliefs that these women are gold-digging slutz after money (they really don't have). When these women have a bad experiences with cheapskate, abusive, lying men and discuss it, they are shamed for that and are often said to have deserved their bad treatment...because they expected too much!?

It's an issue like this that is largely ignored.

It's rubbish like this that has decayed these forums.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 111
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/14/2016 6:55:08 AM
analovesprincesses, you are my new favorite poster. Very well said. It seems that misery loves company in these forums. Don't forget to mention that many older women get the "scare tactic" that "their looks will fade" and then they will be doomed to a life all alone and nobody wants them anymore. I fell for that BS when I was 20, and yet, none of that shit happened to me in my 40s when I was single again.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/15/2016 11:19:23 AM
I couldn't get my daily fix of forum news.

I worked out in the gym too much because of this, now I am soar all over.
 ForeverTexas25
Joined: 1/18/2015
Msg: 113
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/15/2016 9:42:40 PM
You're definitely not alone, I enjoy the forums much more than dating/profile section. I find it must more interesting and lively here. :)
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 114
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/16/2016 9:10:01 AM


I like my dating like I like my wine, light and lively, so get to g caught up in the extremes doesn't interest me.


Add lubriderm and we'll call it an evening.

On 1 hand, I see the forums as a giant singles support group.

On the other hand, if a$$hole$ had wings, this place can be an airport at times.
 Angel_Feet
Joined: 3/13/2016
Msg: 115
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/16/2016 7:57:58 PM

Things I learned from the forums? Hmmm…

Number one, take better pictures. Nothing will overcome bad pictures. The really attractive women do get a lot of messages, and they will never read your message or look at your profile if your main profile picture doesn’t pass the test.

Number two, or possibly tied for number one? This is a numbers game. Much like making cold sales calls, you will have to make many, many attempts before you will succeed.

Number three, tied to number two – do not give up, do not get bitter or resentful, keep right on trying and maintain a positive attitude. Corollary: “You miss every shot you don’t take.” And “No one wants to date a whiner.”

Number four, this one from Cowboy: “Once you’ve sent a message, forget about it.” I remember, way back when, one attractive woman in the forums said she was offline for a week, and when she came back she had some ridiculous number of messages (500? Or more). So she deleted ALL of the old messages, every single one, and started over. This totally convinced me that I did NOT want to ever become invested in what happened to my sent messages. Send it, forget it, move on to the next. As Cowboy said, “The only thing that matters are positive replies in your inbox.”

But all of the above is ancient history, more recently all I seem to see are men complaining about spending money on dates. For crying out loud, if you don’t have money to spend on dating, then forget about dating and work on improving your situation in life. Get a job, get a better job, go back to school and get some training so you can get a better job. I spend a lot of money on women, and dating, and it is FUN! If I didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t do it.

And, from the opposite side, women complaining that all men want is s_x. If he stops calling, it’s because she had s_x with him on the third date. Or it’s because she didn’t have s_x with him. Hey, folks, dating is about s_x and s_xual attraction. We would not be here otherwise.

Great post...pics should be recent & unadulterated & updated regularly.
Correct about numbers & upbeat attitude.
Cowboy was right- if a person flakes on you, forget it!
And of course cheap men & frigid women shouldn't be trying to date...
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 116
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/19/2016 8:14:28 PM
backnboys- I still send and receive messages, but I spend WAY more time on the forums.
I admit it, I'm hooked.
If they are ever shut down, I will probably go through withdrawal! :D
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/19/2016 8:24:12 PM
I like the forums much better, too. All the "cool" guys who contact me live too far away, and the ones who live close by and contact me.....well, I don't know why, because we just aren't looking for the same things.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 118
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History
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/19/2016 9:50:03 PM
forums are the only reason I'm here.

PoF for dates? This is a dry lifeless hole.

Might as well write messages to myself.
 AngeL_FeaT
Joined: 3/17/2016
Msg: 119
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/20/2016 8:59:00 AM

I don't know. It seems like some people who talk (sometimes) about their positive about their experience still complain about their negative experiences or treat their perceived success as if it's somehow exceptional. I know it's not all wine and roses out there but those I think those who are used to winning, win gracefully with little drama.


People have varying levels of "success" & that varies even more so with age...
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 120
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/20/2016 1:32:05 PM

For crying out loud, if you don’t have money to spend on dating, then forget about dating and work on improving your situation in life.


One does not need money to spend on free dates.

And then there is this:

According to the World Bank website, over 2.1 BILLION people in the developing world lived on less than US $3.10 a day in 2012.

And I'm pretty sure that a lot of those people are dating and getting married anyway.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 121
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/20/2016 4:10:57 PM
When the Forums still had visible moderators and were still listed on the banner, there were far more participants. At least 5 times as many as now, if not 10. Far easier to spot someone you found attractive, had a similar attitude/take on things, and might be a good match per their profile. Just a distant memory now.

HOPE or any semblance of it on any OLD site is a very attractive thing.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 122
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/20/2016 4:33:42 PM
^^^. Kind of reminds me of Bruce Springsteen's song Glory Days. You sing that song a lot Slaffa.

Maybe there is a shift to something else. Other sites or Tinder or the like. Or, actually meeting in real life situations. But after 9 years and still singing Glory Days...maybe it's time to ty something new.
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 123
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/21/2016 10:29:37 PM
I've learned really valuable things here at the forums, over the years. Where else can I ask 20 guys a question and get unbiased opinions ( not necessarily from guys) on subjects I don't want to ask my friends about?

Relationships have come and gone, but the forums are still here, even if they aren't as popular.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 124
view profile
History
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/22/2016 12:50:32 AM
Join the club. I much prefer the forums.
 Spiritousmistinhabits
Joined: 3/10/2016
Msg: 125
Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol
Posted: 3/24/2016 3:48:22 AM

One does not need money to spend on free dates.

And then there is this:

According to the World Bank website, over 2.1 BILLION people in the developing world lived on less than US $3.10 a day in 2012.

And I'm pretty sure that a lot of those people are dating and getting married anyway.


This is a reflection of your cheapskatery and ignorance.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Forums are grabbing my attention more than the profiles, OH NO!! lol