Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Living on a shoestring budget      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Notricksters
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Living on a shoestring budgetPage 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Smart blonde - thanks, more good ideas that I hadn't thought of in a while. Now another question, do you mention your slim wallet in the first message back to a guy who's interested, or do you tell him at the first meeting over coffee? I am thinking the answer is the first message back? That way he has an "out" , and saves us both time.

Everyone on here - what a Great group!!! Love these forums and the the words I needed to hear :). You all ROCK!
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 27
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:12:05 AM
OP: The gentleman is required to pick up the tab for your meal on a first date. He should also bring you the flowers you like, pick you up (and drop you off), and do all of this with a gracious smile donned on his face. This his social obligation, and believe me, it's much appreciated.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 28
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:41:02 AM
^^^ Didn't know about the flowers, only do this for a prom date.


The gentleman is required to pick up the tab for your meal on a first date. He should also bring you the flowers you like, pick you up (and drop you off), and do all of this with a gracious smile donned on his face.


So you don't mind me knowing where you live and you having to be in my control a little because you need me to drop you off?
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:05:16 AM
I know that I sure would mind Mr. Dragon! Someone you are meeting for the first time? No way. Always take your own car and meet in a public place. There are good reasons for protecting yourself!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:15:54 AM
How depressing. I hope it never gets to the stage where I have negotiate finances with a date for dinner.....I probably would not even ask....
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 31
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:45:12 AM
Agree there are lots of folks living on a shoestring budget..So the OP should have no problem finding one to date..Not sure I would date anyone on one though because I would like someone similar to myself in lifestyle.. That would be a tad difficult on a shoestring budget..On the flip side I see men that like to travel and my budget would not allow for more than one trip a year.. SoI just pass them by since I know we are not compatible. Even if I had the money would not choose to blow it on trips, would invest it for my children..
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 32
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 9:12:50 AM

Now another question, do you mention your slim wallet in the first message back to a guy who's interested, or do you tell him at the first meeting over coffee? I am thinking the answer is the first message back?


The reality, OP, unpalatable as it has often been expressed by a multitude of average 50+ ladies, is this:

the vast majority of 50+ women with "shoestring financial affairs" will likely pose zero problems for substantially wealthier 50+ males. Because it is generally common knowledge (confirmed over and over again by both 45+ men and woman on this site) that these "gentlemen" will seek to date exclusively ladies a decade (or 30 younger) or those 50+ women who:

-- weigh in below or at the lowest end of the weight/height charts,
--have workout bodies and < faces considered by 9/10 males their age as "drop dead gorgeous,"
--are possessed of exceptionally high socially adaptable conversational skills about a myriad of topics,
--are young child free, debt free, disabled child free, drug/disease free,
and
--own a "functional" wardrobe which they can readily put together on short notice
--can travel at the snap of two fingers

And so, the short answer to your question above is, "No," because for the average good guy, it's what in your heart that matters most:)
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 9:25:28 AM
LMAO.......You forgot Ready......that most men substantially well off that are 50+ will more than likely be dating those women you mentioned that are 40 or younger......which begs the question......who is using whom.....;)

Equality is the key for me, and I am not asking that those I date make as much as I do, but I am asking that they work as hard as I do with making each other comfortable with dating each other, take turns showing their desire to be with each other, and not feel entitled to use the other because of their wealth.

Not asking to much is it????

cd
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 34
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 9:39:33 AM
Oh, stop fishing, cd. You know full well that you're in a class (and a couple of time zones sigh dang it) out there by youself!
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 35
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 10:00:25 AM
As hard as it is for people of our age to meet other people of our age, its simply very difficult to believe that a person d0ing well financially will reject a possible "true" love interest because of that person's financial picture. I don't understand what people think money is for? Is it to accumulate so you die with a large net worth, or is it to spend to make life more enjoyable? If I were looking, I would have to be nuts to reject an otherwise perfect woman because she did not have my earning capacity or net worth. That would be dumb, dumb, dumb. What is the point of accumulating wealth if you can't enjoy it? I would rather spend thirty thousand traveling to Europe with a love interest than buy myself a new sports car any day of the week. If you are a person just getting by, then you do the best you can with what you have. If your partner rejects you because you don't have the financial wherewithal to equal that of your partner, well he/she ain't worth a pitcher of warm spit anyway as far as I am concerned. No loss there.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 12:22:18 PM
You are one of a kind tbicon! Can we clone you????
 Poker_Girl_4U
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 37
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 12:56:01 PM
HI Notricksters

You are a beautiful person and love will come your way. Money is not an issue when a man loves you.
I am divorced after 19 years and find myself like you working a very hard and physical job to support myself and a 12 yr old son.
Reach out and date. I enjoy doing simple things when money is tight. Baking chocolate chip cookies, good conversation and a glass of red wine is very inexpensive and fun. Like a previous lady posted there are a lot of things to do for free and you can always check the calendar for your local community center for events. We just had a car show and that was free.
I know at times I feel I do not want to date for the same reason being on a thin budget but money doesn't make the world go round love does :) Hugs and Good Luck to your future.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 38
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 1:06:26 PM

What is the point of accumulating wealth if you can't enjoy it? I would rather spend thirty thousand traveling to Europe with a love interest than buy myself a new sports car any day of the week.


Yikes... $30,000.00 for a trip? As for cars they do not go up in value so nix on both of them.. lol
 pfif
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 39
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 1:15:49 PM
Money is a burden and a there's a culture that surrounds money. Since I approach that culture as an interested tourist, never intending to stay, I'm seen as harmless and readily admitted into that society. I can't say I've gotten very far inside their heads as a group, but individually, there are some remarkable people living within that culture worth getting to know. Those kinds know enough not to expose me to the ones useless to me, who would put me on a defensive posture. But I prefer one on one experiences with other people and shy away from all but the most accepting dinner tables, parties and so forth.

I dip my toe in, occasionally, to the wider circle there: but nothing I bond to, where it's a problem for anyone.

And, all that is dated by a decade; the people I've been connecting with since don't quite seem to know how to make those inroads into that level of society; or they only do it within the scope of their vocations, rather than after hours. A friend (who often interfaces with this culture of money in the service industry) tells me he had some very interesting encounters during the October Surprise (snowstorm) of 2011, as the entire community became disconnected with the umbilicus provided by the power companies. He had to show one fellow how to get a bucket of water out of the river without back strain, getting the shoes wet, and so forth. That's a well-known badge of pride of the people not of the money culture: the skills that come from working in the physical world, doing physically-determined tasks, often dealing with materials such as lumber and bricks and soldering irons and printing presses and so forth.

But still, the fundamentals of money culture are accessible to anyone who already has a good learning skillset: reading, grade-school arithmetic, and so forth.

The money, itself .. not so much. ;)
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 40
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 1:20:15 PM

Yikes... $30,000.00 for a trip? As for cars they do not go up in value so nix on both of them.. lol


Really depends on how much you enjoy driving a new car versus the affordability factor. Personally, I buy new cars and then hold on to them for a long time, long enough that I get a tax write off on the entire purchase price. Works for me. Leasing is a much worse deal than buying and holding.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 41
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 1:26:10 PM

Money is a burden and a there's a culture that surrounds money


Money m0st definitely is NOT a burden. Having it makes life easier and more secure. What is a burden is owning too much by way of material goods. What you own owns you. If you have an expensive sports car, you will be more worried about dings than if you have a used jalopy. What also may be a burden are those who work too hard to earn that money. The object is to work smart, not necessarily long and hard. Regardless, people who say money is a burden are people who don't have much money.

And let me also say, at least in our society, is that people with money are generally people who work with their brains and not their brauns, which is why education is so important. I would much rather use my brain eight - twelve hours a day than have a job that requires no intellectual stimulation. People who have the least control over their lives, generally those doing physical labor for a paycheck, are also people who feel the most stressors in life and maybe the most depression. So to digress, having no money is more of a burden than having money, because it subjects you to the whims of a society which you cannot fight and win, imho.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 42
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 1:43:43 PM

Really depends on how much you enjoy driving a new car versus the affordability factor. Personally, I buy new cars and then hold on to them for a long time, long enough that I get a tax write off on the entire purchase price. Works for me. Leasing is a much worse deal than buying and holding.


Actually sold mine since I moved back to the city.. This way I have to walk everywhere on the island.. Dragging my stylish cart for miles with groceries is a great workout.. and this costs me zero dollars.. and have no need of a gym membership..Just keep switching what arm is dragging it and get a good arm workout as well..
 ExitingTheStage
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 43
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:03:18 PM
Given that there's a lot of us older men in the same financial bind.... Your chances of meeting decent men is pretty good.
Nothing wrong with just putting together a picnic basket instead of spending money.
It would add more depth to the experience I figure.
I guess it's all in the attitude.
Some may look down their noses but hey,
when times are tough, you need to be budget minded . . .
you can still make it special on a shoestring budget.
 Doc_Sage
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 44
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:10:25 PM
Yes, there is many ways to enjoy the company of a partner at a shoe string live style. Many activities that may be shy'ed upon if you are solo, become a reality as a team. Even working a garden become a wonderful exchange.

One should not be burden with those thoughts. There is a "the one" in all fiscal levels. Hey, I am looking for mine too.

Doc Sage
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 45
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:17:29 PM
OP, when I worked at Walmart for two years and when I was a grad student for three years, I lived at the poverty level. I was living with someone at the time, and after he moved out, my financial status moved slowly upward: I was merely poor instead of poverty stricken. It never seemed to bother the men whom I dated.

Now, I find myself middle-class, but the lessons I learned while living on a shoestring budget have stuck with me; I live better than a lot of people who make twice as much money as I do.

If I were you, I wouldn't worry so much about dating, but your financial security! How can you maximize what you do make and how can you do better in the future? My time in poverty spurred me on and made me learn how to take care of myself.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 46
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/20/2012 9:03:26 PM

Yikes... $30,000.00 for a trip? As for cars they do not go up in value so nix on both of them.. lol

When I was married, I wanted breast augmentation and a new sports car. My ex and I talked and decided I could have one or the other. The family joke was that I was driving my new boobs around. I really did love the car. (Never did get the new ta-tas.) Priorities are what they are. If I had the opportunity to go to Europe or to put money into a 401K, I'd be packing. If one loves to travel? It's a priority. I'd be going to Egypt this fall if they wouldn't have erupted into a civil status that makes it unsafe to be there. But when it's safe? I'll go without other "perks" and will be en-route. Some of us love to travel. Others do not. Just another personal opinion thing.)

~OT~ I really am not even certain what a "shoe-string" budget is. Most of us have had very lean times, many of us have passed those times to a comfort level and some have struck gold. Seems like we're all able to tell a load of meeting/dating stories, so my guess is that it really doesn't matter what our income was or was not. Most of us have dated more than our share ~ so that says to me that whether we were starving single parents, starving artists or nearing retirement, we found a way to socialize with the opposite sex. JMO
 AlfredoDP
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 47
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/21/2012 2:04:31 AM
Notricksters, these days many folks are in your shoes, I am one of them; self-employed like you, May is past, I no longer smell the roses.
We can date just like anyone else, and, do not need a lot of money: attitude, a smile (a real one), some honesty will do.
Someone advised you to tell a prospective date soon about your situation, no.
It is nobody's business to know how rich or poor you are. Explain your finances only after you have met the person for sometime and feel comfortable to share some of yourself.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 48
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/21/2012 4:42:45 AM

Unfortunately there are those who seem to be actively seeking a financially stable man, probably for the reason that he is financially stable.


Yes most of the women including myself would want a man that is financially stable.. However I do not even own a car, or take fancy trips but will have dinner out from time to time at a nice restaurant..

Lifestyle is huge in a relationship so chances are you would not be compatible with these women anyhow..After all I am not compatible with a man that can afford 3 or more trips a year. When I see this after he contacts me, I just let him know that I cannot afford to travel that often and I do not think we are compatible..
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 49
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/21/2012 6:07:55 AM
If I had the opportunity to go to Europe or to put money into a 401K, I'd be packing.


For me, the 401K comes first. I live pretty well on what's left, though. I like to travel, but I'm not a big fan of staying in pricey resorts and dining in expensive restaurants. So I can usually go where I want and do the things I want without busting the budget.

As for the topic being discussed, I generally do not know the financial status of the women I'm casually dating. All I can say is that when I've been expected to pay for everything, I just moved on.
 GASailor
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/21/2012 6:23:59 AM
Don't worry about your income but don't milk it either. I have had a couple of dates who ordered expensive meals, nibbled around the edges and asked for a doggie bag. Instant turn off. If I had known they were that desperate I would have bought them a bag of groceries.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Living on a shoestring budget