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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Living on a shoestring budget      Home login  
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 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 101
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Living on a shoestring budgetPage 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

I've also known women who will purposely order the most expensive item on the menu or drink expensive****ails just because they're on a date and not picking up the tab.


I've never met a woman like this in my life. How exactly do you know all these women and how do you know this about them? My experience, as the guy actually on a date with a woman, is that the reverse is more apt to be true.

Any woman I've been with picks something off a menu because it is what she wants to eat....and drinks what she fancies. It might be the least or most expensive item on a menu. She certainly isn't trying to take advantage of anything.

Not sure who all these women are who sell their company for a plate of food. No woman I've ever known.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 102
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:15:13 AM
Re commnets above about taking food home. I don't have kids at home. Whenever i've dined with a woman with a child itell her that 'll never eat it but for her to take it home for her kid....a woman can take that offer up without feeling odd. Also, nice to get an extra dessert for her to take home to her kid....good moms never stop being moms.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 103
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:27:05 AM
If someone doesn't finish what they ordered, I don't see an issue with them taking it home to finish. I hate to see good food wasted. However, when they order something on the other person's dime (maybe for dessert) and get it wrapped without so much as tasting it, I would find that to be pretty tacky. And, yes, I have seen this behavior on a date, although it is admittedly a very small minority and definitely not chronic.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 104
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:36:26 AM
Re commnets above about taking food home. I don't have kids at home. Whenever i've dined with a woman with a child itell her that 'll never eat it but for her to take it home for her kid....a woman can take that offer up without feeling odd. Also, nice to get an extra dessert for her to take home to her kid....good moms never stop being moms
------------
Aww, that's thoughtful. Lots of kids, especially from multiple kid households don't get to eat out much.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 105
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 8:13:46 AM
^^^^ not only that but it puts dating on a more positive note for kids.
 geoweb
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 106
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 9:18:51 AM
Having just spent the last hour reading this entire thread, I came to a conclusion that the 'shoestring' is different for each of us, and while I agree that budget is less important than priorities. How much money is not nearly as important as how it is spent, which comes with how we each perceive our needs and wants. For some, a fancy car, vacation home, jewelry, country club membership, boat or other hobby may all seem necessary, but most of us have to make choices, and for a relationship to thrive, there had better be agreement!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 107
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 3:51:10 PM
Notricksters!!! You are officially invited to join "GrandmaBooBoo's Home for Wayward Seniors!" LOL!

I'm so sorry to hear of your financial struggles and I know that you are not alone. I read so many articles about how many folks in our age bracket will never be able to "retire" with any kind of comfortable pleasure. I have many girlfriends who have forced to move in with grown children and "babysit"....men (and some women) who've lost everything in their late mid-life divorce....and those who didn't even try to plan for retirement....believing they would never live this long!

This is why I'm seriously thinking that when my grandkids are gone in a few years, I'm not going to sell my huge 5 bedroom home....I'm going to "invite" select seniors to share my home (rent free)...paying only for their share of utilities and groceries, and helping keep up with the cleaning and yard work. I am NOT on a "shoestring budget", but can't afford to take on "dependents". LOL! If I could, I would.

I think that a lot of seniors are going to find themselves "co-habitating" for financial reasons...and some of us just because our homes are too large to keep up by ourselves....or...we want the companionship of another person...without the romantic drama.
 cil314
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 108
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 5:59:16 PM
Lots of interesting comments on this subject. yes, I have met men who weren't interested in dating me due to income not high enough for them. it is condescending. so I say their integrity wasn't high enough for me to date them. good that I didn't waste time w/materialistic & superficial men.
I feel if a man asks you out, then he should pay for the date. unless you come to an understanding that due to unemployment, etc., etc., etc., that you go to free events OR that as the two of you really want to be together & you (the woman) are willing to foot the bill for a night out & he cannot afford it, & no one is being taken advantage of here, then in special cases, the woman pays. I still think the man may feel bad about it.
But the wealthy marry wealthy, not those from the other side of the tracks . . .
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 109
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 6:42:00 PM

. Personally, I buy new cars and then hold on to them for a long time, long enough that I get a tax write off on the entire purchase price. Works for me. Leasing is a much worse deal than buying and holding.


You must have a strange tax code in the U.S.Leasing is far more advantageous here.It encourages new vehicle sales.Writing off the entire purchase can take some time.
 pfif
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 110
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 6:44:15 PM

We have everything from apples to Victoria Secret.


Those kind of go together. ;)


Ahem.

I've seen a few instances where two older women who were sisters became roommates. I don't think I've seen two older men who were brothers do this, but I suspect that was (is?) also a common living arrangement at retirement age.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 111
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:04:25 PM
State, Most people who buy cars cannot write them off unless used in a business, so for most people leasing is better. However, I do use my car in business, and for tax year 2011, when I bought it, I will be able to write off about 11,000 of the purchase price through accelerated depreciation, which in my tax bracket, saves me over $3000 in taxes. If leasing, I could deduct the monthly payments which would have been less than $11,000, probably closer to 6000 or so. Anyway, leasing is for people who want to drive new cars every few years, but financially it is much better to buy and hold for at least five years.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 112
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:20:55 PM

State, Most people who buy cars cannot write them off unless used in a business, so for most people leasing is better


I assumed you were writing off under business.My acct tells me that leasing is far better up here.This is for trucks used in business.Repairs or replacement of major components can be shocking.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 113
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/24/2012 8:10:15 PM
Well my car has a four year . .50 K warranty everything covered, including maintenance. Besides, most cars these days can do about 100K miles without serious problems. Japanese cars 200K miles. Anyway, it all depends on your tax bracket, how often you use the car for business, etc.
 barr605
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 114
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 4:57:22 AM
Not meaning to be rude , but what's a budget?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 115
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 6:30:53 AM

yes, I have met men who weren't interested in dating me due to income not high enough for them. it is condescending. so I say their integrity wasn't high enough for me to date them. good that I didn't waste time w/materialistic & superficial men.


It is easy to be critical of someone when you are not the one that would be making an economic sacrifice in a potential relationship. Bottom line, you weren't compatible with them.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 116
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 6:54:25 AM

I've seen a few instances where two older women who were sisters became roommates. I don't think I've seen two older men who were brothers do this, but I suspect that was (is?) also a common living arrangement at retirement age.


I have known older brothers who live together to save money. In fact, I know two middle-aged brothers right now who do this. Both are bachelors and I doubt that either will ever marry.

I think that sisters tend to live together more than brothers based on societal reasons. In the past, women didn't work or worked at low-paying jobs compared to men. When they could no longer work, they lived together in order to eke out their meager savings--remember, for centuries, there was no social security. This would have been true if they were unmarried or were widows. A sister might come to live with her married sister, as well. If they were unmarried and there was an inheritance, they might have lived together in the family home.

Men were taught to be independent; women were taught to rely on men--first, their fathers and then, their husbands. This isn't to say that there were not many independent women who made it alone; women who were widowed with children had to make a go of it.

I remember two "old maid" sisters when I was in high school. One was a teacher and the school and her sister kept the house. Neither even married, whether by choice, I can't say. It worked for them but we snickered about their situation.

I can't imagine living with anyone right now, my sister or my boyfriend. We have come a long way.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 117
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 10:40:28 AM
""Men were taught to be independent; women were taught to rely on men--first, their fathers and then, their husbands. This isn't to say that there were not many independent women who made it alone; women who were widowed with children had to make a go of it."" This is true Gwen, even in our generation. Our 30 year old daughters and their generation probably think differently and good on them.

But we are in our 50's and beyond and so are the men we are dating. So SOME men that are comfortable financially still want a partner that is comfortable financially as well - if a guy (for example) likes a 3 week winter vacation in Mexico, likes his boating in the summer and loves golfing every weekend, he's not going to like having to foot the bill for a minimum wage worker living in a trailer park that just barely makes ends meet and has no interest in travel. - just an example, not gospel...

We all tend to want someone to share our interests, hobbies, vacation plans, life in general with and we want to do this with someone who is in the same position as us to be able to partake. Yes, we can all clip coupons and shop sales and get cheap flights - nothing wrong with that. But still for the most part, we want to be on equal-ish footing with those we date. And men don't need to foot the cost just because WE are of a generation that is used to men paying our way.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 118
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 11:43:03 AM

This is true Gwen, even in our generation. Our 30 year old daughters and their generation probably think differently and good on them.


Welsh, you are absolutely right! I was not taught to be self-sufficient or independent.

I think the difference now is that women in our generation have the option of finding their independence. I found mine very late in life, but I did find it!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 119
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 12:10:13 PM

I would happy eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on a blanket over looking the lake as long as she enjoyed my company and our feeling were mutual. It is what's in the heart that counts unless your heart is with Wells Fargo.....


I would be even happier eating butter and jelly off her belly.
 ExitingTheStage
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 120
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 12:28:17 PM
I would be even happier eating butter and jelly off her belly.


Good call.
Way to save money on bread.
Ice cream and blueberries off the belly for dessert.
Less containers to own and carry around for those meals away from home.
Better for the environment.
 Fyre55
Joined: 6/2/2012
Msg: 121
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 4:13:33 PM
SmartBlonde I loved your response. Lets add in my particular problem When I was 12 years old I had basically experimental surgery to remove a non cancerous tumor from my brain, the side affect is at age 54 I became deaf.
So I had no other choice but to retire and live on disbility.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 122
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 4:52:13 PM
If Denzel Washington does not come to his senses, Grandma BooBoo, may I move in? I'll have money from my pension, and I don't mind cooking and cleaning......
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 123
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 4:55:39 PM
fyre....not a criticism but just curious...why can't deaf people work? I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that thousands of deaf people are employed at 'whatever'.
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 124
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/25/2012 9:12:44 PM

This is why I'm seriously thinking that when my grandkids are gone in a few years, I'm not going to sell my huge 5 bedroom home....I'm going to "invite" select seniors to share my home (rent free)...paying only for their share of utilities and groceries, and helping keep up with the cleaning and yard work.


I wanna live at BooBoo's Party House! YEE HAH!!!
 Fyre55
Joined: 6/2/2012
Msg: 125
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Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 6/26/2012 12:03:54 AM
Science I know what your saying and I wrestled with that. First off there are 2 jobs that were available to a deaf person but the last position was 2 years ago and is 250 miles away from me. The other one was posted in 2007 and 200 miles away. The biggest problem is being deaf is a safety issue. I'm continuing to look for a job where I can work from home on my computer and communicate by email.
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