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 AUTHOR
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 201
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Living on a shoestring budgetPage 9 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

...Both were making over 100k before....


So, did they put half of that in the bank for 25 years? Again, crap happens...being a responsible adult is preparing in life when it comes.
 Happy Dude 63
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 202
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 2:40:22 PM
i have a 17 yr old son at home, and he has lived with me his whole life and i have had sole custody of him since he was 11.

whenever I go out to eat, I ALWAYS order something extra for him or a very big meal to take something home for him. I have always taught him,,,to remember your family...or some lesson that this stands for.

as far as dating a lady who is intentionally ordering food and drink by the highest price? are you kidding?
whomever said this needs to wake up...and get a hold of themselves.
lastly, I have noticed a couple of posters "slipped" in this post they are wealthy or some version of it...just find this funny. we all want to put our best suit on as we are being looked at.
For some it is looks, intelligence lifestyle, the ones who put the shallow stuff up make me smile...$$ and what they do for it...I am glad who I am, and I am happy with the $ that I have...yes i can feel an intense pinch with the economy...but oddly, I am very happy and dont stress over it.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 203
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 2:50:27 PM

Maybe, just maybe, you would look for a new partner that could help out with the finances so that you could live in that life style to which you've become accustomed and want to maintain.


I have seen men's profiles where they have said they seek someone to share living expenses. Really? If I am doing well on my own, why would I want to enter into a relationship with someone who needs help to pay the bills? Most of these men (maybe all) were on disability or had just "retired" and yup, I feel sorry for them, but sympathy does not make for a good love relationship.


The whole shoestring budget applied to me when I first got divorced.

No job, no debts, no where to live, no support payments and $7,000 to my name.


You had $7,000 and no debt? Many of us had NOTHING when the dust settled AND were saddled with debt.

One of my friends lived in her car after her divorce AND she had to pay child support. Another friend of mine lived in her car with her two children.

I have never had it this bad, but I don't think that many people on this thread truly understand what it is to have no money and no shoestring budget because there are no shoestrings.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 204
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:05:25 PM
Welsh, why do i get the feeling you don"t like me.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 205
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:07:33 PM
My mother, who hoped I would marry wealthy, always said it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man. And all I could say in return is that must be true, because I have always loved poor men...lol! Still it has not kept me from living a wonderful, fulfilling life. Some of my best vacations have been at campgrounds or on mission trips or at the homes of faraway friends. Two of my "high dollar" getaways were taken because I busted my hump at work and the trips were given free as a performance bonus. I am not wealthy, but I am very rich in the things that matter.

Like I said early on, there are so many fun, low-cost or no cost things to do...state and local parks, summer festivals and free concerts, fireworks displays, DVD and a homecooked meal, volunteering at a soup kitchen, playing cards with friends, walking around Costco, a drive in the country, picnics, library/community events, etc. Dating DOES NOT have to be expensive...it just has to be fun for both people.

 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 206
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 4:38:40 PM
Gwen,
You had $7,000 and no debt? Many of us had NOTHING when the dust settled AND were saddled with debt.


You really shouldn't take a case and make it better or worse than it really was by leaving out data that does not support the case you want make, not objective of you. No job, no prospects, and no where to live is a problem, $7,000 won't go far. She paid for the lawyers, as I wanted to keep my expenses low, I never bothered with one.

Before the divorce I was $70,000 in debt with no job, which I didn't mention.

This was the result of my planning it to work out so I could start over. Actually in some way I was thinking about it 5 years before we got a divorce, and really a lot after I lost my job 3 years earlier. Sort of my backup financial plan.

Before I lost my job in 1999, I was earning between 70,000 - 110,000 a year depending on bonuses, which were in stock grants. That actually makes it tougher to find a decent job not in my field, they all assume you will quit when something opens up. But I could see there was no way I was going to get back to my old life style in Dallas, my kind of job just wasn't available no matter what my qualifications. And I didn't want to tough it out being married working at Wal-Mart or the equivalent.

A big part of our problem when we were married was we weren't able to communicate effectively and I wasn't at all happy. I lasted till 2002 trading this and that in the market, but I was getting more and more unbalanced. It didn't look like that was getting better, and there were other problems that I doubted would change.

My ex-wife probably ended up with over $80,000 and no debt, about 60,000 came from me so if I wanted to fight I could have gotten some of it I expect, but she never did have a high paying job and was 7 years older than me, likely she needed it more than I. Not sure how she handled the taxes resulting from the sale of stock nor did she ever share how much money she came into the marriage with, I only know I gave her 35,000 to invest in a stock I told her about which became 60,000 because it was an investment which I then had to push her into selling. It had been worth 300,000 at the top, but had she not sold when I pushed her, it would have been worth 2,400 today.

Before the divorce I had about $70,000 in debt not including the mortgage and no job. So we could have both lost everything had we followed some other course. But I could see the best course was a radical change in everything.

Texas is a homestead state, meaning they can't touch your house in bankruptcy as long as you pay the mortgage. I knew this for a long time, so I never refinanced the house and all the debts were in my name only.

We got a divorce, I filed personal bankruptcy wiping out the debt, sold the house collecting $14,000 net, which we split. I rented the largest truck I could legally drive, a friend helped me pack it as full as I could get it, and I left the state to live with my parents for a while. I hired a day labor guy in Chicago to help me put a lot in storage.

One reason I was Ok with getting married 13 years prior was that I knew her well enough to know she would never want to go out of her way to hurt me.

I could have done hugely better financially if I had been a little more conservative, but it turned out OK.

Like giggles said, shit happens.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 207
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 4:59:02 PM

Both were making over 100k before; both are out and out scared of losing everything that they have left after starting a divorce process.
It's hard for me to respect people who have had every opportunity to sock away AT LEAST 10% of their income...but chose not to.



So, did they put half of that in the bank for 25 years? Again, crap happens...being a responsible adult is preparing in life when it comes.
I was responsible w/ what I have/had (stewardship) & respect those who do the same.


They did, in fact, invest and turns out that many people made bad investments, some stocks went completely to heck--now you think they should have had future vision to predict which investments they should have made?

Then the wife got half-- and with one she kept the 300K + home which he had put considerable investments into--worked almost every weekend to make the house a home for his kids--but he wants his kids to be able to stay in the neighborhood with their friends, imho he is doing the right thing for his kids at a personal loss to himself, he could press the issue and have the home sold and then he have more money. Their kids are the source of their joy--these men have stood by the decision they made to be a father and endured loveless marriages for years; then when they cant stand it anymore they are starting over--I think they are both very special (not for me cause we are simply friends from long ago) and I cant imagine a woman looking at them and not seeing how special they are--so what if they are living in an apartment now vs a house--or if they dont have a great retirement account all saved up--

Some of us have good lives and everything we touch turns to gold, others have things happen--my point is simple--so what --it is life and if you concentrate on the financial aspects of it only and use it to determine a person's value then you are missing one of the greatest lessons in life--some people might not be wealthy but they are extremely rich in so many other ways!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 208
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 5:03:34 PM
giggles
Two guys I went to high school with (not hitting on me we are just friends)--college educated married for 20+ years recently separated and were getting divorced, one lost his job and moved back into the house and has to put off getting the divorce--he is hating every minute but focused on finding a new job--issue is he is 55, got a Psyc degree and went into sales, not management or marketing, so now no one is taking him serious even with 30 years of drug sales where he was specialized by being in operating rooms with the doctors during surgery to show them the correct procedures for the products he sold. He has two kids in college, one just started. He thought he had done everything right, make the right moves, worked hard, weekends had been unhappy in his marriage but waited until his youngest as 18 (said separate bedroom for 14 years even when the family goes on vacation).

Other guy got a 33% pay reduction but allowed to keep his job--moved into a small apartment but has an 10 and 15 year old...his wife (same age) and him waited on having kids. He has no idea how he can afford college for his children in a few years.


I probably know 30 different stories like that one, many far worse. Prison for 2 men is worse, suidice was one guys choice, losing it all is really quite common. And all of those happened before the recent 2009 market dive. Being in a high tech field that changes very often and involved in the markets for a long time, I have talked to many that made huge amounts of money or been at the top of SP500 companies only to have lost everything.

Actually, I only know 1 man that didn't make any poor moves, he paid off his mortgage and put over 1 million in T-bills, kept very little in the market, and lives with his wife in Virginia. Had he tried to fight his situation, he would have ended up broke. And my middle brother is doing middle class OK. Is wife is a pill, but she is a good financial planner.

My point about the $200 hotel room isn't being able to afford to stay there or not, I wouldnt date someone for very long that thought this was important. Some people want to have a high society lifestyle, but 98% of the world can't afford to pay out top dollar for everything, we all have to make financial tradeoffs and decide what is important. Sooner or later living too high on the hog will bite you big time. (Unless your last name is Gates.)
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 209
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:47:46 PM

You really shouldn't take a case and make it better or worse than it really was by leaving out data that does not support the case you want make, not objective of you. No job, no prospects, and no where to live is a problem, $7,000 won't go far. She paid for the lawyers, as I wanted to keep my expenses low, I never bothered with one.


Dude, did you read what I wrote? I had friends who lived in their cars--no $7,000, no jobs, and obviously, nowhere to live. $7, 000 will go a lot further than NO money. I am not going into my experience, but I would not extend sympathy for someone who had a cushion when some of us had nothing. You aren't the only one who had huge amounts of debt or filed BK, but some of us were not making a fraction of the money you were making--not ever.

And people always have prospects, just as they always have choice. My choice was to return to school so I could stop working at Walmart--where I worked for two years, full-time, and lived in the poverty zone.


And I didn't want to tough it out being married working at Wal-Mart or the equivalent.


Boo-hoo. Some of us swallowed our pride and took what we could get at the moment.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 210
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History
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 8:38:09 PM
I admire you, Gwen...I was raised to believe that any honest work was honorable work.....and to have nothing and pull one's self up speaks to character.

I have volunteered for many years in domestic violence shelters, and there have been times when we had to turn women and children away for lack of space....and they lived in cars , on people's back porches (even the damn dogs were allowed inside). So I know of what you speak!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 211
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 8:47:49 PM
"I just find it sad that so many people wish to judge by financial standards and do not understand that life happens, I had plenty of money and then lost a baby, husband lost his mind and then I got cancer, I know once I finish my degree Ill just start over and Im seriously not worried about it, mainly cause I know I can make a good life for myself, the important things in life aren't what you own--cause after you loose them you come to understand what really is important."

i think it is sad, too, that so many people (especially in this economy) are sooooo judgmental of people's financial situations. seriously, there are a lot of unemployed and underemployed people out there just struggling to survive. if someone goes through a divorce or the death of a spouse, then yeah, they might have to rebuild their lives. it takes time to do so. also, with the economy the way it is, it might make it that much harder. i know so many people that have had to declare bankruptcy or have lost a house due to divorce.

divorce can be really expensive, but at the end of the day, what is your soul worth? how can you stay married to someone because of money? furthermore, is staying in a marriage with someone that you do not love because of money any different than marrying someone that you do not love for money? i don't think there is any difference. for me, i'd rather sit on a beach eating a hotdog with someone that i absolutely loved, then eat at the nicest restaurant with someone that i did not. it's about love, and love is priceless.
 edgedreality
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 212
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/3/2012 10:01:20 PM
I wrote:




Gwen, I have too many shortcomings and am a realist as well. And I've always been attracted to women for who they are and can tolerate me.


And Gwendolyn2010 wrote:


This is how “it” should be


It should be but it isn't. Men and women in their 50's and older should be happy to meet someone who will be good to them and make them happy. But no, they want it all or nothing despite their own shortcomings as though they're still in their 20s and "all that."
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 213
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 3:39:31 AM

Both were making over 100k before; both are out and out scared of losing everything that they have left after starting a divorce process.
It's hard for me to respect people who have had every opportunity to sock away AT LEAST 10% of their income...but chose not to.

So, did they put half of that in the bank for 25 years? Again, crap happens...being a responsible adult is preparing in life when it comes.
I was responsible w/ what I have/had (stewardship) & respect those who do the same.

They did, in fact, invest and turns out that many people made bad investments, some stocks went completely to heck--now you think they should have had future vision to predict which investments they should have made?

There is a difference between SAVINGS vs. INVESTING. Investing, while the potential for a higher yield, is more of a gamble. Savings can be anything from a coffee can filled w/ cash to a low-interest bank account that will not dissipate due to fluctuations in the market. IMO, if someone wants to invest, they should do that AFTER they have some SAVINGS set aside.

Yes, I have compassion for the unemployed & under employed, the worker at Walmart, etc. It is the folks who had the higher income & lived beyond their means & made poor choices that I have less compassion for. We choose the action, we should accept the consequence w/o whining about it...
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 214
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 4:14:24 AM
If you have your money in a savings account or a CD, you're losing money every day do to inflation.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 215
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 4:48:22 AM
If you have your money in a savings account or a CD, you're losing money every day do to inflation
************************************************************************************************
but not as much as if u have a wild fluctuation in the stock market & lose it ALL!
It worked for me, I bought my car cash (new but a cheap lil Kia) & have no debt or mortgage...no loans or interest to pay...
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 216
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History
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 7:55:50 AM

but not as much as if u have a wild fluctuation in the stock market & lose it ALL!
It worked for me, I bought my car cash (new but a cheap lil Kia) & have no debt or mortgage...no loans or interest to pay...


Same here. I could have plunked cash down for a high Mercedes anytime but chose to get another Toyota Corolla that will last me 16 years like the last one. Anyone who didn't have a couple year's salary in the bank but purchased a SUV, truck, fancy car etc. was thinking what? Why didn't they pay their mortgage off??!!!

The single mom working as a cashier, the waitress, the guy trimming hedges, etc. has earned my concern. As for the guy who earned 100 thousand and has squat to show for it, I'll let someoine else give him a shoulder to cry on.

As for a comment above on 'suicide'. No, people do not commit suicide because they lose their job. People commit suicide because they are an unstable personality with mental health issues. The individual involved is responsible and others, whether family, an emploter, etc. need not feel guilty for someone's suicide. Millions lose jobs and don't kill themselves.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 217
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 7:59:01 AM

I admire you, Gwen...I was raised to believe that any honest work was honorable work.....and to have nothing and pull one's self up speaks to character.


Thank you, :) but I did what millions of other people did when the going got rough.


I have volunteered for many years in domestic violence shelters, and there have been times when we had to turn women and children away for lack of space....and they lived in cars , on people's back porches (even the damn dogs were allowed inside). So I know of what you speak!


It breaks my heart, and the people who are hurt the worst are those who are most vulnerable. The experiences of my friends and my years of living at the poverty level has consistently spurred me on to take care of myself. I do not see either of those women due to distance, but both recovered and went on to be successful in their fields, but they were hounded by the thought of what IF it happens again?


It should be but it isn't. Men and women in their 50's and older should be happy to meet someone who will be good to them and make them happy. But no, they want it all or nothing despite their own shortcomings as though they're still in their 20s and "all that."


I would put it "adds" to their happiness, but that is the rub, eh? What makes each person happy is different. In the seven years that I have been single, the men whom I have met just didn't add to my happiness enough.

And even though I will be 60 this year, I am "all that." (Grin.)


There is a difference between SAVINGS vs. INVESTING. Investing, while the potential for a higher yield, is more of a gamble. Savings can be anything from a coffee can filled w/ cash to a low-interest bank account that will not dissipate due to fluctuations in the market. IMO, if someone wants to invest, they should do that AFTER they have some SAVINGS set aside.


Spot on. Most people would be surprised to learn how money I have been able to save in the last seven years on my salary! And I do not not do without--it is a matter of stewardship. I would not invest unless I could had enough to invest AND keep a savings that would be adequate for me to retire on, and that ain't gonna happen.


Yes, I have compassion for the unemployed & under employed, the worker at Walmart, etc. It is the folks who had the higher income & lived beyond their means & made poor choices that I have less compassion for. We choose the action, we should accept the consequence w/o whining about it...


I don't have a TV so I don't watch the news and I don't read newspapers, but when I see an online article about people who made huge salaries, had huge houses, several cars, etc., then lost it all . . . I have NO sympathy for them! Welcome to the world that millions of others live in.

And I have nothing against money or people with money--but like Blonde Angel, I just won't expend crocodile tears when they whine about losing it and act as if they are brave for suddenly being poor. Tell that to my grandma who raised five kids alone in the Depression.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 218
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:08:23 AM

Spot on. Most people would be surprised to learn how money I have been able to save in the last seven years on my salary! And I do not not do without--it is a matter of stewardship. I would not invest unless I could had enough to invest AND keep a savings that would be adequate for me to retire on, and that ain't gonna happen.

Yes, I have compassion for the unemployed & under employed, the worker at Walmart, etc. It is the folks who had the higher income & lived beyond their means & made poor choices that I have less compassion for. We choose the action, we should accept the consequence w/o whining about it...

I don't have a TV so I don't watch the news and I don't read newspapers, but when I see an online article about people who made huge salaries, had huge houses, several cars, etc., then lost it all . . . I have NO sympathy for them! Welcome to the world that millions of others live in.

And I have nothing against money or people with money--but like Blonde Angel, I just won't expend crocodile tears when they whine about losing it and act as if they are brave for suddenly being poor.
Tell that to my grandma who raised five kids alone in the Depression.

And to those who have ever laughed at my cute lil Kia or my extreme couponing, while I lay on the loungechair of the cruise ship sippin' a tropical drink, I'll be laughing at you too- cuz my frugal habits allow me to take a vacation annually, plus put $$ in the bank!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 219
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 10:25:54 AM

It should be but it isn't. Men and women in their 50's and older should be happy to meet someone who will be good to them and make them happy. But no, they want it all or nothing despite their own shortcomings as though they're still in their 20s and "all that."


I find this very disturbing since most of us had very little when we were in our 20's..Also no one else can make you happy they can only increase your level of it. You make it sound like women are desperate simply because they are older.. That is not the case, otherwise they might just cling to any port in the storm, which most are not doing..
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 220
view profile
History
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 10:48:55 AM

And to those who have ever laughed at my cute lil Kia or my extreme couponing, while I lay on the loungechair of the cruise ship sippin' a tropical drink, I'll be laughing at you too- cuz my frugal habits allow me to take a vacation annually, plus put $$ in the bank!


...and they'll call you 'lucky' to be able to take that cruise. Luck has nothing to do with. When I was a student and walked the extra mile to save 35 cents on a bus ticket...or, even later in life when, even though well off, took my thermos of coffee to work rather than spend a buck on a cup of the stuff.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 221
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:36:22 PM


It should be but it isn't. Men and women in their 50's and older should be happy to meet someone who will be good to them and make them happy. But no, they want it all or nothing despite their own shortcomings as though they're still in their 20s and "all that."

I find this very disturbing since most of us had very little when we were in our 20's..Also no one else can make you happy they can only increase your level of it. You make it sound like women are desperate simply because they are older.. That is not the case, otherwise they might just cling to any port in the storm, which most are not doing..



It should be but it isn't. Men and women in their 50's and older should be happy to meet someone who will be good to them and make them happy. But no, they want it all or nothing despite their own shortcomings as though they're still in their 20s and "all that."

While I've never been one to think that I'm "all that" ~ I know for a fact that today, I'm much more "all that" than I was in my 20's. Not due to material possessions or money, but because the inside is SO much more substance filled than in my earlier years. And yes, today? I want "it all." In my 20's I was willing to overlook personality traits and other not-so-positive things because I, at that point in life, didn't really know any better. I was much more willing, back then, to "settle" (so to speak.) I'm old enough now to have learned a little about life/love/loss and there is just simply NO WAY I'm budging on what I know I want and deserve. And I don't feel that anyone should be happy with "just someone to share life with" ~ what about passion and desire and that wonderful "WOW!" feeling that comes along when we are truly ecstatic about someone? At this stage in my life ~ I do want "it all" and I'm willing to go it alone if I can't find "it all." JMO
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 222
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:48:29 PM

...and they'll call you 'lucky' to be able to take that cruise. Luck has nothing to do with. When I was a student and walked the extra mile to save 35 cents on a bus ticket...or, even later in life when, even though well off, took my thermos of coffee to work rather than spend a buck on a cup of the stuff.


Ah, the "luck" factor! After being married for 25 years (to a man who couldn't seem to understand the concept of saving money) and then in a relationship for seven years with a man who just couldn't seem to hold a job, I relish taking care of MY money. After my divorce, a bankruptcy, and starting over with nothing, I have managed to reestablish my credit to a very good rating, buy and pay off my car, and buy a house (yes, I have a mortgage).

As a salaried adjunct instructor, I KNOW how much my peers make, yet somehow, they can't seem to manage. One of my friends drives a motorcycle because he can't afford a car. Another lives with his brother because he can't afford a house or apartment of his own. When we are not teaching, we don't get paid, which means NO check in January or June. I hear my peers say that they don't know how they can make it during these months.

I make it by saving AND by working as an adjunct for an online school--I don't make a lot of money at my second job and I could survive without it, but I choose to expend the effort and time in order to have a cushion.

It was not luck that has brought me to where I am. If enrollment at my school(s) went down and I could no longer depend on them for an adequate income, I would seek work elsewhere. Nope, I don't want to EVER work at Walmart again, but I would if I had to.
 LadyRedRoseOhio
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 223
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:12:05 PM
being disabled and on a fixed income is something we may all face in our lifetimes. i am in that position now. i do not pick my dates on who has money or who doesn't. my ex husband and i never had very much but we were happy for many years until he became physically abusive. men with money or without money can still be nasty and abusive. it's the personality that matters to me. what he makes comes next to last in my book, just before "is he breathing, clean and relatively housebroken?" seriously, people fell in love long before money was invented. they fell in love when times were especially hard, like in the depression. they can fall in love now too. money doesn't mean much when you need someone to turn to who is there no matter what and find no one. my ex fiance walked out on me three years ago before one of the hardest things i have had to face in my lifetime, losing my leg. i would have given anything to have had someone to hold my hand and love me through that event. dating is supposed to be something fun you share with another person. why does it have to cost alot? it honestly doesn't. just take the time to research your options. good luck folks!
 zucchinilinguine
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 224
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:24:47 PM
Puts me to mind of the classic Monty Python skit...shoebox?, you lived in a shoebox - were were lucky if we had a shoebox to love in!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 225
Living on a shoestring budget
Posted: 7/5/2012 11:21:17 AM
People in my generation never had to deal with tough economic times until just recently, and really, it's still nothing like the great depression. So we all assumed the good times would keep on rolling. Some spent too much, some went into debt, some bought too much house, some invested in markets that they never took the years required to understand. It's a very, very common story.

My mother's generation that was born around the great depression are savers that always kept their spending low and the amount of money saved was never enough. My aunt owned a 40 room apartment building, she had over 1,000,000 in T-Bills, she would save jelly glasses to use as water glasses. Just the way she grew up.

I know a few things about getting out of debt and making money. It's like losing weight, just because you achieve your goal, get out of debt, have a good income, doesn't mean you can't slip right back in the same old bad habits.

And I know a lot about financial markets, and I always take 100% responsibility for losing money, especially since I know better. IMO if you don't understand your own role in your own financial situation, how are you ever going to make permanent changed for the good? Emotionally it might make you feel better to blame your spouse, or the GOV / economy, but it financially it harms you to not be aware of your own mistakes.

IM experience long term inventing is no more difficult than flying a 747. If you have years of training it's fairly easy if you invest for the long term. And that also meaning at times selling everything, putting it in T-bills and waiting for the shit to settle at the bottom, which takes at least 18-48 months.

Day trading on the other hand is more like playing chess with your enemy while sitting on the front lines of a battle field.

With investing you can't rely on financial advisers / brokers, I have talked to over 300, only 2 I thought were good. I talked to them because I got on a list that is circulated, nothing I can do about stopping them from calling. Most are like the ticket sellers at the airport, they know a lot about how to get on a plane, but nothing about how to fly one.

As far as who has the more tragic story, most stories I have heard including my own, the person who got into trouble had many ways to have avoided it. I say MOST, some of the hardest to avoid are health care related financial problems, but even there while you are healthy and working you can sign up for long term care / excess health insurance. Not that it always works for every situation.

As far as dating others, IMO most hard line opinions are from those who are over compensating for their past mistakes in choosing a marriage partner or live in partner.
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