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 BZE1983
Joined: 6/3/2012
Msg: 1
Is this normal?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Ok so I am trying to get over my ex and looking for reasons why it was better that we split. So if you comment on this post, please don't say anything like "its over move on". It would help me if I got some input on this so I could have another reason to say our relationship was bad.

So during our relationship whenever we would be driving or walking or whatever, she would ALWAYS accuse me of looking at another woman even if I wasnt! Then she would get mad at me and it would almost ruin our whole evening. The latest one I rmemeber was when we were walking out of the movies she went to the bathroom and I was outside waiting. I was looking at this skinny asian girl with a HUGE 64 oz drink in her hand and was thinking wow thats a lot of pop for a skinny asian girl to be drinking. Anyways after she got out of the bathroom she accused me of checking her out etc, then it made our whole evening tense! Stuff like this would happen constantly.

Another thing that always happened is when we were to watch a movie even if it were pg 13, and a hot actress was on the screen and she was wearing a bikini or something, my ex would ALWAYS cover my eyes. At first I thought it was a joke, but when I moved her hand, she got mad at me and accused me of wandering eyes.

She would text message me almost every hour and call me at least 4 times a day, and I kept running out of things to say. It seems like she just might be controlling? I dont have that much experience with relationships, so for those that do is any of this behavior normal? Or is this chick just crazy?
 Laccey
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 2
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/19/2012 11:53:39 PM
No, thats not normal, but maybe something in her past caused her to be insecure, even though you tried to make her feel secure.

I say you're better off without her, you would need to constantly need to reassure her all the time, wouldn't that be draining on you?
 Rheostatic
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 3
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 12:39:45 AM
I'd rather shoot myself in the face than put up with that foolishness daily. But to each his own.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 4
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 12:58:20 AM
~OP~ There are slews of posters right here who are needy/clingy such as you're typing of. Most will not openly admit it, but if you read closely and pay attention, there are bunches of men AND women who need constant/chronic communication with someone they are dating and it is certainly no secret that there are MANY jealous/insecure folks who post in here (just like there are many jealous/insecure people off-line as well.) So if you're talking "normal" I'd have to go with, yes ~ for some people. If you're talking about it being normal for people who are not insecure? Then no, this is not normal behavior. The fact she's bugged by an actress in a movie would have me wishing her (or him in my case) the best of luck. That would be that. When this silliness begins early on in a relationship? Don't expect it to change as time goes on. It's not going to change ~ and the arguments down the road will always be the same as well. And there will be plenty of arguments. You can talk to her about this, she'll maybe try to calm down her neediness, but she will never completely change. This is part of who she is and it'll be you who gets blamed for the issue because, shame on you, you looked at a small woman with a large soda. JMO
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 5
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Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 1:01:02 AM
Clearly she was nuts. She sounds completely insecure about herself. God help the next poor sucker that lands in a relationship with her.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:18:47 AM
I'm not really sure why you need anyone to say anything. You dodged a significant bullet because while not completely off the rails from the beginning like this girl, my ex made my life miserable for the 14 years we were together and even though he has had a girlfriend he kept secret from his kids for 3 years he continues to make comments about me being a slut to the kids which is a hoot because I haven't dated anyone in a couple of years.

You should be relieved to have your life back and the thing you need to remember is that it doesn't sound like you did anything a normal person would have found bothersome.

Honey, there is a big difference between noticing an attractive woman and ogling her and from what you describe it doesn't sound like you were anywhere near the ogling department. I do know how she made you feel, like there was not one single thing you could do that would not result in your being accused of doing something wrong and that's no way to live.

I hope you don't allow this experience to change you and I'm happy that you are done with her because living that way is awful.

She may not be crazy, or she might be, but she certainly has an exceedingly low self-esteem and is massively insecure.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 7
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:29:39 AM
Definitely not normal. We all look, it's part of being human. i would be more worried if the guy I was with never looked! And there is certainly nothing wrong with People Watching, nothing more enjoyable than watching the antics of the human race.

That being said, she obviously had some problems. It could be as some have said that she has self-esteem problems or could just be a very controlling B*^#@ who wanted all things her warped way.

Yes, you are better off without her and good luck finding someone who is a better match for you.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 8
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Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:07:35 AM

OP, you need to learn what a healthy relationship is like. Your's with your Ex, doesn't qualify. For either of you, or your roles in it.


Dude, you are free, keep it that way
 BZE1983
Joined: 6/3/2012
Msg: 9
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:46:03 AM
Wow thank you everybody for the advice! This will help lots in my quest to move on! It looks like I was dealing with an emotional bully...I did some research on it and that behavior is definitely not normal. She used to revert to name calling all the time and I used to get blamed for everything! It is just hard for me to move on I guess because she is just so damn hot. I can find someone equally as hot as her!
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 10
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 5:56:34 AM

because she is just so damn hot


Isn't it amazing how being hot takes precedence?
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 11
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Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:04:06 AM
U make it entertaining that is sad but true.

OP it does not sound normal to me. I read a thread somewhere on here about jealousy (healthy unhealthy? red flag? etc) and it made me think a lot about this issue.

But now you are free and I hope you can find a secure loving relationship (when you feel ready). It is good to examine a past relationship so we can learn things about ourselves. Think about this...what did you learn about you? That was the gift. The other is gone and you are left with you. People seem to come into our lives to help us learn lessons we could never learn on our own.
 Rheostatic
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 12
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:41:04 AM

Isn't it amazing how being hot takes precedence?


Being a woman, you're excused for not understanding the power that a beautiful woman can have over a man.
 Givemeshelter
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 13
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Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 9:13:38 AM
Better that you split. All men are going to look, all women look, just not as "blatant'. It's a fact of life. Unfortunately, learning this comes with maturity. It's not control, it's her own lack of self-esteem & knowledge of men . Good luck
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 14
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 2:36:09 PM
Dude you are one sick pu ppy. I dare you stare at those HUGE 64 oz drinks!! Realize that soon in New York you may even get arrested for that. Cops will suround you and tell you, "Sir, please put the drink down, easily, we want to see your hands as you do so."

Oh, back to your gf? You are so lucky that she is gone. Now if you want to stare at Jugs as well, you are free to do so.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 15
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Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:26:46 PM
Her being like that has nothing to do becuase she is hot, a woan can be like that even if she is unhot, I know.

I have been at the receiving end of that like the OP ,many times, I have had alot of GF's. anyhow I had some unhot GF that did that and model GF that did that , they are insecure and demand control over you and your emotions.
I am very respectful and never look even if I am alone I am pretty prudent about looking, it is disrespectful unless one is at a meat market, then look at the yummy women in miniskirts and no undies,mmmm ok .

When I was a whiney little nice guy I used to obey and look down, never look not even in the eyes of a cashier when I was with a controlling GF. made me feel like her little slave and she was happy about that, she got bored of me me being weak and cheated on me with guys who did look and had other women. Several women did that .

Well anyhow now days I realized it was not a normal female attitude,, if they are like that, they have issues and have to be let go or I end up torturing them by looking on purpose but not at women she thinks are hot, I would look at little old ladies with canes and tell her she is hot, removing dentures has many possibilites...yadayada, it would freak her out or gross her out when looking at a very un hot gross person even a man and making comments to her, it will either shut her up or make her go away, or I would just look at the hotties and make coments to piss her off and I would tell her of my intentions, it would either get old and she would stop or break up with me saying I was such a pig, mmm I know any woman would , hahahaha.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 16
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:29:28 PM
It depends on what you call "normal."

As to whether your ex was immature and insecure--she definitely is. Her fear of losing you became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

A bit of jealousy might be "normal," but she went way over the line.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 17
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/21/2012 6:26:03 AM

It is just hard for me to move on I guess because she is just so damn hot. I can find someone equally as hot as her!


Oh. so you are the guy who is so shallow that he can't get over a "hot" chick regardless of how jealous, immature, and demanding she is? I have heard about you.


My whatever he is and I used check out chicks together.. and i'll comment on guys too and he'll tell me why he's better then them. lol we trust each other. That's really all it is..


The other day, my boyfriend said, "That woman has great legs."

I said, "She has good hair, too. In fact, she looks good all over."

That was that.
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 18
Is this normal?
Posted: 6/21/2012 8:17:33 AM
Ok so I am trying to get over my ex and looking for reasons why it was better that we split
.....This may be well and good and to be honest you may be reminding yourself of all the bad things your ex did, but deep down you are thinking about all of her good qualities, and this is what make's getting over a person so difficult.
I'm sure that your ex feel's the same way.....Picking out all the bad stuff about her and leaving out the good stuff.
It take's two to tango and you initially put up with her behaviour when you should have nailed it on the head before thing's progressed.
Were you the PERFECT boyfriend?
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