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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Long List of Requirements met in order to message      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 QueenOfWands419
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 51
Long List of Requirements met in order to messagePage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I love it when one of the requirements is honesty! LOL! Like I would think thats a given; like a no shit sherlock! And getting honesty on POF? I bet the biggest liars look for the chicks with that on the profile! LOL! "I am looking for a good honest man" What'd they think some guy is gonna say oh shit I cant talk to her; I am a bad dishonest man? LOL!
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 52
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/24/2012 6:48:51 PM
I cruise the site a lot and have not seen long lists on mens profiles, but the one thing that makes me giggle every time without fail is when they either begin their headline or end their profile with one, desperate plea:

"Please be sane."

Cracks me the hell up every time.
 TheLongSpring
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 53
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/24/2012 6:49:04 PM
live laugh love


I'm just looking for something real!
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 54
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:33:12 PM
How about the guys whose requirements is FEMALE. Married 5,000 miles away its all good lol.
 AUC_MMDCCV
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 55
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/24/2012 8:11:44 PM

afitnessmodela: I work and have my own money. So why do I want a man who don't work or who is retired?!?


Interesting point. I'm retired. I removed that from my profile and put a generic occupation instead. The number of responses then increased. Now, I don't know why, but there seems to be a concept that retirees are broke, shiver in torn and patched blankets by the light of a single candle and devour cans of chum. (Well, maybe not the chum.)

It's a fallacy. There are broke or well-off retirees just as there are broke or well-off workers. I gave work the flick when I was 57 and and at the risk of criticism am happy to say my income in retirement is significantly more than when I was working.

There also seems, from my on-line conversations, something of an envy factor. Naive me thought working women would be happy with a partner who was at home to cook and clean as well as being capable of the blokey stuff like climbing to the roof to clean the gutters, etcetera. Not so. There definitely was attitude that I had time and they didn't. Beats me.

Actually, if there were an excluding criteria "Must not be retired" I would probably welcome it. It would save me wasting my time mailing ladies who may have visions of me devouring a can of chum by candlelight....
 Clever66
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 56
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/25/2012 3:02:44 AM
I think a lot of people do this (I know I do) because if you don't, you literally have to say "I'm sorry but, we're not matched" hundreds of times. Even with the list in place, which I've tried to make a sort of sliding scale instead of an ultimatum, I get lots of messages from devout Christians when I've clearly stated I'm a non-believer and looking for the same. Men, in general, I've found look at the photos and maybe skim. It gets daunting having to reject that much, but I know from experience that there are simply some things that are not going to match - why waste either of our time?
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/25/2012 4:22:56 AM

Younger than 49
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex. (edit)
You must have a picture to contact this user. (edit)
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
Must not be married


These are from my profile. I tried not utilizing an age restriction due to the forums,
this is why I have no distance or gender restrictions. Unfortunately I was getting a lot
of mail from men all the way into their 70's and so added the age cap.

I actually have it set higher than my comfort zone - and this is only because I know a man
IRL who is 48 and I find him extremely attractive and not typical for his age. For that
reason I decided it is possible there may be more and so I raised it.

Reality is, I am rarely attracted to men my age, never mind older. Judge me all you want but
this is based on my own experiences with men in that age range being at different stages than
I am. I was older when I had my kids so they are still quite young and I find a lot of men in my
age bracket have kids who are grown and have no desire to deal with young kids again.

Today I received an email from a 47-year-old man who looks at least 65 in his picture. If his age is
correct I question why he looks so much older...and I do not find him even remotely attractive.
Call me shallow (some will), but I KNOW my preferences and so choose to look for someone who
falls within them. I expect nothing less from everyone else on this site.

If a guy viewing my profile decides not to email me because he thinks my list of restrictions
is proof of an overinflated ego, or sense of entitlement, or some huge character flaw(s) that
raises red flags for him, well, all the better. Any guy who would have that kind of knee jerk
reaction and automatically jump to conclusions is definitely not going to be compatible
with me. He just saved us both from wasting our time by removing himself from the equation.

My profile is written to attract like-minded individuals and (hopefully) dissuade and or repel
those who are incompatible. The mail restrictions are just another tool to help achieve this.
Any guy who judges me in a negative light based on my profile content/restrictions is not a guy
I would be interested in dating as we would clearly be incompatible.

Where is the downside to this? Why on earth would I lower my restrictions to attract men I have
no interest in or who are totally incompatible? I see no reasonable logic behind this way of thinking...

*shrugs*
 TheLongSpring
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 58
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/25/2012 4:27:48 AM
I think there's a couple of requirements we can all agree upon that are reasonable, such as age, smoking, drug use, and things of that nature. When you have a bullet list in your profile, you are shooting yourself in the foot. People already jump to conclusions based on the limited information on your profile. You have to meet someone to know anything. The whole point of POF is to set up dates. All the back & forth convos, phone calls, don't mean jack until you meet the person face to face. You are just wasting your own time on here with silly long list of requirements.
 msholiday1
Joined: 5/19/2012
Msg: 59
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/25/2012 5:35:25 AM
I have only a couple of requirements, and age isn't one of them. I figure I'll weed them out fast enough with one or two emails and a meeting.
The one that bothers me is must live in the USA. I have a passport and will travel. I don't get that one.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 60
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/25/2012 6:26:45 AM
When I frst found pof, I had no email filters...well a week later and that changed.

You have to filter down the email in order to process it all.

If I saw a man who was outside my desired range and he had a profile that interested me, Id email him. Who wants or needs dozens of emails per day from groups of people that you dont generally find appealing?
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 6/25/2012 12:16:09 PM

Why limit yourself?


It can be a hook in attracting a mate. I'm in my mid 50's and went over more than 400 profiles and picked one woman. She was a year younger than me.

So, I set my requirement to a couple years younger or older then her age. I think woman feel more comfortable in responding if they sense you are seeking them personally and not casting a wide net hoping to catch 'whomever'.

Anyways, I attracted my girlfriend. she said the fact i wasn't like a lot of guys seeking women 10 years or more their junior was a positive on my profile.

some requirements can help your chances by being broad...others by being more narrow.
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 62
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/28/2015 1:58:44 PM
I just saw this on a woman's profile..........

I am a well educated petite active blonde looking for a man that enjoys all that life has to offer. I am looking for a well educated man who can be spontaneous..cares for family and friends and wants to share his life with a fun, interesting and caring woman.

THESE ARE ABSOLUTE MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS:
-Bachelors Degree
-Single/Divorced
-Recent picture (within last six months)
-Non-smoker
Thank you.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 63
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:39:10 PM
I don't see anything wrong with that list at all. It is after all, HER list. I see MANY here in Tampa that make her list look tame.

She is clearly making an effort to limit her responses. Not that it is liable to help much.

A prudent battle plan IMO.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 64
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:52:00 PM


fun, interesting and caring woman.


I chuckle when someone describes themselves.

Their behavior speaks louder then their profile.

My description is more valid then their description of themselves.

Besides, who is seeking a boring, uninteresting and uncaring individual?
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 65
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:55:30 PM
I can't stand it when they say "My friends describe me as...." Superlative, superlative, superlative.

Then goes a few cliches. Then the No players, like they are going to pay attention. Or the if you want to know about me, just ask. How pathetic that is.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 66
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/28/2015 3:32:08 PM
^^^Or the zillion profiles that say "Must make me laugh". If you're looking for a clown, join the circus.
 DeepakChoprahWinfrey
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 67
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/28/2015 3:41:59 PM

The age stuff I don't get. its like 25 to 37 only. So if a 38 year old guy has what your looking for he's too old?? I don't get it.


This is why I think it’s best not to even have age restrictions on your profile :

A Why limit yourself ? You never know how old a good match could be
B People can’t help but assume all kinds of things :

Women going really young = MEOW , HERE COMES THE COUG !
Men going really young = delusional perv

Women going really old = Gold digger
Men going really old = Gold digger / SICKO F UCKWAD
 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 68
view profile
History
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/28/2015 3:42:15 PM
when I was here a few years back I had those options of "must have's" to contact me... now I can't find where those settings are. I can only find the age range and photo requirement. Did the option for other "must have's" get taken away?
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/28/2015 4:39:26 PM

This is why I think it’s best not to even have age restrictions on your profile :

A Why limit yourself ? You never know how old a good match could be
B People can’t help but assume all kinds of things :

Women going really young = MEOW , HERE COMES THE COUG !
Men going really young = delusional perv

Women going really old = Gold digger
Men going really old = Gold digger / SICKO F UCKWAD


+1. I wasn't going to potentially disqualify someone I liked based on trivial things.
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 70
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/28/2015 5:52:11 PM
smokers and non dancers are deal breakers for me.
I've kissed women who managed to disguise the smoke smell on their person but when you're tongue to tongue it's pretty obvious. for me it's a no go.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 71
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/30/2015 4:34:00 AM


THESE ARE ABSOLUTE MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS:
-Bachelors Degree
-Single/Divorced
-Recent picture (within last six months)
-Non-smoker
Thank you.


Oh, this is absolutely level headed and reasonable compared to what I've seen. As I've mentioned before, I've seen women who won't date a guy who doesn't have full sleeve tattoo work, likes a sports team she doesn't, and owns a small dog. (because she thinks it's "creepy")

I'm also starting to see "must ride" (meaning own and drive a motorcycle) on a lot of profiles. Some go as far as stating it must be a Harley, too.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 72
view profile
History
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/30/2015 5:36:56 AM
There are loads of anal people out there.

Own a business, and they come crawling out of the woodwork. The worst of the worst, are those who watch these home improvement shows. Instantly, they think that everything is the same, and and it's easy to for any contractor to be able to complete a job in a specified time frame. Few realize that I charge a "Fussy fee" for those who look like they will give me a hard time. If you expect me to break my back working on your mess, work weekends, 12-14 hour days, I'm going to try to break your wallet.

I expect to see that, dating. If anything, it's worse. Sure, we can sit and gripe about what women want, and how particular they are. In the long run, they're doing us a favor by spelling out wants and standards. Ruthless players will take advantage of them. Convince them that they are what they want. Get them in the sack, have a night of fun and move on. In a left-handed way, I don't feel sorry for women that have been treated that way. As the saying goes- "You asked for it"

I've read plenty of profiles with a big laundry list of wants. I hate to break the news to you, but the prince is married. I'm too busy to live up to your grocery list. Thirty hour days aren't mandatory, and you leave me no time to enjoy the things I like to do. You may think its fun. I don't.

Yeah, I might complain about wasting time messaging. You are really saving me a lot grief and aggravation. We should be thanking them for not putting us through the wringer.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 73
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/30/2015 7:04:57 AM

THESE ARE ABSOLUTE MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS:
-Bachelors Degree
-Single/Divorced
-Recent picture (within last six months)
-Non-smoker
Thank you.


Not that bad compared to other people's list of requirements. But I do think she could be more flexible with education level or pictures. Suppose the most recent picture was taken 7 or 8 months ago. Or he didn't finish college. But has a stable job and he is able to support himself.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 74
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/30/2015 7:08:42 AM

Own a business… I charge a "Fussy fee" for those who look like they will give me a hard time. If you expect me to break my back working on your mess, work weekends, 12-14 hour days, I'm going to try to break your wallet.

You don’t need to own a business – they’re everywhere! So are the people who think they know better because they have a little information.

I can understand having a ‘fussy fee’ and, if the workman is worth the hire, then I pay it. I pay more for people who will come to my house on weekends or who will explain why something can’t be done that way. I’m a very inquisitive person and question a lot of things – usually beforehand.

I used to have a little Nissan pickup with two gas filters – many fix-it shops, including the dealership, didn’t realize it had two filters and the unchanged/clogged one was making it stall out. When I found the shop that figured it out – and, yes, I was b*tchily complaining about incompetency the entire time and asking them how they thought they could fix it – I gave them my business and enthused about them to everyone I knew. Twenty years later, they still have my business as well as my family’s and best friend. I appreciate other people’s patience and explanations and I realize it is worth more than the work that is being done. But don’t try to break my wallet – that’s beneath you.


…. Sure, we can sit and gripe about what women want…. Ruthless players will take advantage of them… As the saying goes- "You asked for it"

I have to disagree here. No one has ‘asked’ for ruthless disrespect. Demands are worse in dating – this is my future I’m considering. Ultimately, I’m not here to endlessly date. I want to find someone I can enjoy a relationship with for the rest of my life. When I actually get around to making a dating profile, I probably won’t have a long list of requirements because my requirements aren’t so easily described and they usually aren’t ‘either/or’. They are also criteria I need to observe such as the way a man treats other people and what he complains about. I don’t think it’s a ‘you asked for it’ but rather a ‘you permitted it’. If a person’s criteria are solidly thought about and firm, then the ruthless player can’t take advantage, and have a ONS of fun by talking them into it.

As for sitting and griping about the opposite sex… yep, we’re all doing that. Hopefully, we take some wisdom home with us, look through our profile and expectations and adjust.


I've read plenty of profiles with a big laundry list of wants…I'm too busy to live up to your grocery list.

Yes, I have to agree with you – sort of. Here on OLD, it is so easy to have the laundry list mentality because we can all simply look at someone’s profile and say ‘too old’, ‘too young’, ‘smoker’, ‘not seeking LTR’. We can read their words and get an idea of their personality. Too much griping in the profile? I don’t want to deal with a man who complains that it’s all not his fault. Too much discussion about G*d or children being the center of his life? No, not for me. Too much discussion about NASCAR, sports, my toys, or his ex-wife/failed relationships. Forget it. The very nature of OLD makes it easy to put down a list and to judge by someone else’s list. The vast number of people makes it easy to not consider re-evaluating.


Yeah, I might complain about wasting time messaging. You are really saving me a lot grief and aggravation. We should be thanking them for not putting us through the wringer.

Ditto. So, to all those men with laundry lists that automatically exclude me for any reason… Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 75
Long List of Requirements met in order to message
Posted: 5/30/2015 8:28:04 AM

THESE ARE ABSOLUTE MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS:
-Bachelors Degree
-Single/Divorced
-Recent picture (within last six months)
-Non-smoker
Thank you.


If I saw this on a man's profile, I would have no issue with it whatsoever. First, everybody has standards. Second, her standards are not unreasonable. In fact, except for the bachelor's degree, her other requirements are pretty much the minimum buy-in for a LOT of people.


Instantly, they think that everything is the same, and and it's easy to for any contractor to be able to complete a job in a specified time frame.


I know, right? Imagine hiring someone and expecting him/her to get the job done in an agreed upon period of time! What a crazy notion.
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