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 roguevampire
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 33
Has online dating become a non-starter for women?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Isn't that like getting a 50 on a test. That is a failing grade.
 An a19
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 34
Has online dating become a non-starter for women?
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:29:00 AM
I do have to agree here, most men on here don't care about what a woman looks like or how old she is, all they want is meet them and screw em.. I mean what on earth is wrong with these guys. Yes I have to agree this is turning out to be a sex site.. but what do you want for nothing.. I doubt very much you will meet the love of your life on here.. I don't just doubt it I know it.. They don't care about a woman's feeling etc. this site is full of vulgers looking to prey on any woman they can get their hands on.. I find myself too sophisticated for this site and hope woman will think about the men on here good and hard.
 DevotedExplorer
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 35
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Has online dating become a non-starter for women?
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:43:24 AM
Wanderer thats great input I have to say I agree with you
 Sillyandserious
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 36
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Has online dating become a non-starter for women?
Posted: 6/26/2012 12:37:37 PM
Wow....just....WOW! I would say someone is a little bitter. Why is it so shocking that men out there will put "Looking for relationship" while only wanting a 'hook-up' {{GASP}} Really??? There have always been men out there that will play the games to get sex....since the beginning of time.

I think women should KNOW this and take responsibilty for their own choices and vulnerabilities.

I also think that there are men out there who are truly looking for a long-term relationship...but who is gonna turn down sex (even if this person is not 'the one')???? It is painful on the ego to admit we (as women) are just not the one for him...and we are the ones who made the active decision to climb in his bed.
 roguevampire
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 37
Has online dating become a non-starter for women?
Posted: 6/26/2012 12:44:26 PM
Yes, men are out here preying on all the helpless women, lol. Remember, for every man that is out there looking for sex, it takes 2. That means there's a woman going along with it. And women need to stop denying they are sexual beings and like to get with someone, just for sex, just like guys do.
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 38
Has online dating become a non-starter for women?
Posted: 6/26/2012 4:22:14 PM

All one needs to do is look at the human trainwreckage in my inbox to see the utter absudity in that statement. If those guys are 'out of my league,' then I need to be taken behind the barn and shot because it's all over for me. LOL.


Just wondering... would a guy get some brownie points from you if he promised to miss the shot ? ;-) how about if he installed some railroad crossing signs in front and back of your inbox to prevent additional wreckage ?

Where there is a will, there is a solution :-) (and possibly an inheritance)
 NVMinerMan
Joined: 6/2/2012
Msg: 41
Has online dating become a non-starter for women?
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:17:59 AM
nonstarter?

did u chek the battery?
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 42
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Has online dating become a non-starter for women?
Posted: 6/27/2012 8:57:26 AM
POF is pretty much the worst (popular) site for successful/educated people with no kids to find someone, as it tends to attract a much higher percentage of a...different...demographic. OKC is also free - so there's something about the presentation on this site as compared to that which switches the demographics so ridiculously.

And, as was mentioned before, it can be more disheartening for a minority since there are no screening questions listed on profiles. It's actually helpful on Match to know if you're messaging one of the 10% of people that aren't looking for Caucasian exclusivity in dating, or if you are that limited, being able to filter out the "undesirable races" to a degree. Similarly, being able to filter out overweight people/short people/people with kids more easily helps a lot as well. There's a lot that makes POF really...annoying when it comes to dating as compared with other sites, and also why I don't even really bother on here as compared to elsewhere.
 dr1lesliechow
Joined: 6/1/2012
Msg: 46
Has online dating become a non-starter for women?
Posted: 6/27/2012 5:14:08 PM

femaleconnection: I would say you completely missed my point (which was really first longspring's point in this thread, abelian), but I think you're just ignoring it. You seriously trying to tell me that "on the street" every guy you ever ended up dating, you decided to do so the second you met him? In real life that rarely ever happens outside of the young bar crowd. People often grow attracted to one another over time. And the major flaw of online dating is that it doesn't allow for that to happen -- it's an "instant gratification" tool. People only respond to people they are instantly attracted to.

Although, I would definitely say that the internet in general isn't necessarily that way. I've known couples that got together after being introduced through non-dating sites and getting to know each other through chatting, the message boards/forums, etc. before deciding they liked each other and wanted to date. The problem with dating sites is that you obviously go onto them with the attitude of wanting to date, so you put your blinders on and focus entirely on whether or not someone is "your type," and if not, you move on to the next one. On other sites or real life, you rarely meet someone with the intention of dating so you don't worry about whether or not they're "your type" which allows the two people to take their time to get to know each other without any pressure. Those circumstances allow that thing you women like to call "chemistry" to build. There's no such thing as "chemistry" during online dating introductions. It's just: is he my "type" or isn't he? And that's the end of it.

I'm not saying some men don't shoot themselves in the foot with lame profiles, but you're being HIGHLY disingenious if you believe every case of two people having good chemistry in real life and none during an introductory connection on a dating site is because the man made a bad profile. People who aren't each other's "type" date all the time in real life (not necessarily with good results), but it almost never happens through online dating. Yes, "online dating is a visual medium" but most successful dating isn't particularly visually-oriented.

And there's honestly nothing that can be done about it. I'm certainly not saying women should go out with every guy that emails them to see if they have real life chemistry. It is just a flaw of internet dating and it is what it is. People like me who aren't really anyone's "type" are simply going to fail on most internet dating sites, regardless of the profile and pictures and introductory emails.

All that said, when I was much younger, I did fairly well on a couple of internet social sites that had dating as a secondary characteristic, and actually ended up with the opposite problem a lot: I'm obviously a good creative writer and came across much better in my writing than I did talking in real life, leading to a number of women being disappointed upon meeting me (and not for the usual reason -- I definitely looked like my pictures and was the height I claimed). I mean, I was writing novels in middle school and publishing poems in high school -- I could seriously blow my competitors to pieces in dating-oriented emails. But I'm a pretty lame conversationalist in real life. Not sure what my ex was thinking. So theoretically, you could be TOO GOOD at developing online chemistry. However, that still requires the women to give you a chance to begin with, which I got much more frequently a decade ago than now, but again I think that's largely a function of the ever-evolving sites, the internet dating culture and my aging.


Perhaps you writing War and Peace to every person you find attractive and interesting as well as replying to them IF they reply is your problem? Can you say: Snooze fest?
 poohkwang
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 50
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Has online dating become a non-starter for women?
Posted: 6/28/2012 10:10:11 PM
I would like to know that other site. I ve been with POF for 4 yrs now still not found the right gentlemen.
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