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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > I want a quick "first meet", he wants a leisurely dinner!      Home login  
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 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 101
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner! Page 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

I don't need to be in a coffee shop to get away from a creep. I'd feel perfectly comfortable leaving any restaurant where a guy is a jerk just as easily.
I really don't understand the inability to get away if one needs to from ANYWHERE.
Are you kidding me?
Unless you feel locked in your seat until the bill arrives when they throw a cloth napkin on your lap :


So would I feel very comfortable saying goodnight and grabbing a cab home..It has never happened but if the situation presented off I would go.. That reminds me of the time I left some gent at the racetrack, and did not feel the least bit remorseful about it..
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 102
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I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:15:07 AM

That reminds me of the time I left some gent at the racetrack, and did not feel the least bit remorseful about it..


Yes....but did your horse win? Did you offer to split your winnings with him before you left????????
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 103
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I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:44:12 AM

1388SmartBlonde
OP, here in my area the opposite is true...the guys want to meet for coffee to see if you look bed-able.


That’s how they do it in Cedar Rapids, eh? Funny thing, they do exactly the same thing here in Houston. And not only that, but the women feel exactly the same as the men!

Now, admittedly, they (the women) tend to express it differently – “chemistry”, “spark”, etc. But in the end, we are all talking about the same thing.


1388SmartBlonde
Some of my best first meetings have not been in a coffee shop or restaurant...they have been at car shows, concerts in the park, farmer's markets, football games, walks along the river, etc. Think outside the box... a little creativity goes a long way.


I agree with you 100% except – not for an initial meeting, first date, absolutely, but not initial meeting.

If you suggested such an outing as a first meeting, I would certainly consider it. My answer would depend on a lot of factors. Negotiation is a good thing, and if we can’t reach an effective compromise about such a small matter, best that we find out before we waste each other’s time.

Hint: To meet with someone as pretty as you, I would agree to a night out at the opera (Marx Brothers, anyone?)
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 104
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 10:16:22 AM

Yes....but did your horse win? Did you offer to split your winnings with him before you left????????


Yes my horse won, and I collected my big winnings before leaving the track.. Last I saw of him he became some kind of scent dog and was following the hostess in the cutout jumpsuit..lol
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 105
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 1:27:20 PM

My now ex-fiancee told me that her decision to date me was influenced by many things she learned about me by eating dinner - my table manners, how kind I was to the service personnel, and lots of other little things that told her what kind of person I am.


Sorry to hear that Abe. Its tough out there to find the right connection. I must have dated one hundred women before I got married and socialized with hundreds more and I would say that I only truly connected with two of them.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 106
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 1:37:28 PM

OP, here in my area the opposite is true...the guys want to meet for coffee to see if you look bed-able.

That is pretty funny... only because isn't that what we ALL do?

When I say I want to see if there's chemistry, I'm really having to imagine myself at some point getting naked with the guy... otherwise it's not going anywhere.

We're all the same... if you say otherwise you're only lying to yourself.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 107
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 3:34:27 PM

When I say I want to see if there's chemistry, I'm really having to imagine myself at some point getting naked with the guy


Janet- Now if I ever meet you ..... I'm going to feel weird.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 108
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I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:04:05 PM

I collected my big winnings before leaving the track.


Would it not be politically correct to at least split the purse? What is the etiquette in this kind of situation (in case I ever find myself so pinioned)?

I trust you bought your own wager?

You sound perfect, Native...we should do lunch....separate restaurants to avoid any possible difficult pauses......we can chat using text or google chat...If things go sour, we can beg off using a poor signal strength excuse.....all very sanitary........
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 109
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I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:38:25 PM

Would it not be politically correct to at least split the purse? What is the etiquette in this kind of situation (in case I ever find myself so pinioned)?


Ok, I know you were probably being facetious ... BUT.... just in case you're not...

Profits from Wagers belong to the person who placed the Wager (bettor) assuming that they furnished the entirety of the Monies.

IF the monies were pooled prior to the placing of the Wager (let's put our cash together and place some bets!), they are then split proportionately unless another arrangement has been made (such as a commission or increased percentage for expertise).

Profits from a wager where another person supplied the money (a gift -- Go entertain yourself with this!) is generally considered the property of the bettor, unless a specific arrangement is made like a commission to the bettor, or a specific request (Bet this for me! You're lucky!).

This is just general etiquette of course. There's always some weasel that will show their true colors when real Money is involved.
 terravarious
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 110
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:59:37 PM
My 2 cents.

coffee, Hate the stuff. Very few "coffee" places have anything I'm interested in drinking. Drinks... I don't hear well in noisy places. I work in a lot of sketchy resource towns where I have to watch my back, this doesn't go away when I'm at home.

A simple dinner at a family restaurant allows for quiet talking. I can sit with my back to a wall and focus on her not everything else around me. Family restaurants mean that short skirted tip bunnys will not be a distraction for either of us.
I had a girlfriend (owned a house together at this point) get mad and uncomfortable because the waitress's skirt was so short we knew she shaved when she served the table across from us.

Simple family rest, order appies asap. If it's going south check watch or phone near end of appies and bail. But if your anything close to your profile I think I could suffer through dinner.

If it's going to be a 30 sec "safety' meet, ya I'm probably going to be in my work clothes, hoping for dinner after I've cleaned up. And I'd suggest it as such. "hey we haven't actually met yet but I've like to take you to dinner tonight. I'm off at ??pm, lets meet for a few seconds so you can see I'm not an ax murderer, then I'll get cleaned up and we can txt pick up times etc? sound good?"

But coffee or drinks? Not if I could help it.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 111
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:48:21 PM
Abelian:
I dunno. Maybe you're just meeting him because you figured he was worth risking 30 minutes for, but not 2 hours. Who knows?
Well I think I would know, no?

I'd just find it weird that someone I'd talked for an hour several times before meeting her would have a problem talking more than 30 minutes in person
I have repeatedly stated that I have had lengthy coffee's with men that I knew almost immediately I wasn't physically attracted to. I didn't cut things short as soon as I knew this, I enjoyed (most times) the conversation over a coffee. How much time we sit and converse is NOT a factor for me as I have attempted to make clear several times.

If I only had conversations with women I found physically attractive, I wouldn't talk to more than 95% of the women I see. However, I don't have to be physically attracted to someone to have a conversation. It's a conversation, not sex.
I'm not sure why you felt the need to announce this in relation to my post? I was commenting that I had already determined mental attraction (hence the desire to meet at all) but wouldn't know about the physical attraction until I met him in person. I prefer to move on to dinner when both line up. Which is my prerogative after all. I have never, not once had a man complain regarding the particulars of our meeting.

In fact, most men put the ball in my court in that regard.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 112
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/29/2012 11:14:24 PM
OP:
So we argue back and forth a bit


This would put an end to a ‘coffee meet or dinner’ decision for me.

I don’t date men who argue with me…especially men I haven’t even met yet.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 113
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 5:15:28 AM

Would it not be politically correct to at least split the purse? What is the etiquette in this kind of situation (in case I ever find myself so pinioned)I trust you bought your own wager??


No I decided to keep the entire few hundred for myself.. Okay I must admit he did pay for my bet, but he just wasn't a good one in my books.. lol
In fact grabbed a cab from the track and went out to dine at one of my very favorite vegan rest stops.. GGG


You sound perfect, Native...we should do lunch....separate restaurants to avoid any possible difficult pauses......we can chat using text or google chat...If things go sour, we can beg off using a poor signal strength excuse.....all very sanitary........


Ohhh sounds like the purrfect date to look forward to.. How about I take Java 4U, while you sit at Drunken Donuts? Nice way for you to still remain incognito, n'est pas?
 Spring_weather
Joined: 5/20/2011
Msg: 114
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 8:05:48 AM
If I met somebody= I would rather a quick meeting- not a dinner date- as it may be awkward- I may not like the person at all. They may be creepy to me, where I would want to get away from them. That has happened to me, more than once.

Personally- I haven't met anybody, that I have felt comfortable with at all..

The internet is a difficult place to meet anybody that is good for somebody. It does get very discouraging..

Have good day out there, and I wish you alot of happiness and success on your journey!
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 115
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I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 8:56:42 AM
I was out to dinner last night at our favorite chinese restaurant. There was a couple that came in, sat next to us and it was obvious it was a first date. Asking questions about when their birthdays were, where they grew up and such. So yeah i was easedropping lol my BF and I met on Match so it was kind of interesting to watch things play out. She was trying very hard to have a nice time, he kept putting her down for wasting money on a manicure, wouldn't let her order what she wanted, .. things like that. I felt for her. She gave it a good go though, trying to stay positive, but I doubt there will be a 2nd date.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 116
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I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 3:43:31 PM

Ohhh sounds like the purrfect date to look forward to.. How about I take Java 4U, while you sit at Drunken Donuts?


Well, I am frequently in Java U, so we have probably met.....

Dunken is out....too fattening, lousy coffee......I'll do Valliers.......That way, if there is chemistry, we can just cross the street.......
 sactowndude
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 117
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 3:49:28 PM
I always insist on a casual meet and greet the first time, have a coffee or drink so there's no awkwardness is there's no chemistry. Who wants to sit through a dinner with someone you don't know?
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 118
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 3:53:05 PM

Well, I am frequently in Java U, so we have probably met.....


Only been to Java U once so highly doubt our paths crossed.. Darn it!! I wanted to picture you eating a nice fattening sugary Donut and now you just had to go ahead and ruin my fantasy? lol

Dunken is out....too fattening, lousy coffee......I'll do Valliers.......That way, if there is chemistry, we can just cross the street.......

Is Valliers on Monkland? I don't seem to recall seeing that place.. If the chemistry is there we can always meet right in the middle of the street.. Throw caution to the wind and take our chances at surviving the oncoming traffic? Let me know because if we do survive this meeting, guess what? I expect you to treat me to dinner.. That is assuming we are not both sipping through a felxible straw at our local JGH hospital.. lol
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 119
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I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 6:30:58 PM

Let me know because if we do survive this meeting, guess what? I expect you to treat me to dinner..


Well, it would be my pleasure, but where? I can't think of where one can dine on raw food in Montreal.....Aside from the Atwater Market in August......

And, while I like my steaks mi-saingant, that is not quite raw.......

Food at the Jewish is hardly a route to seduction....barely a route to survival, really......

And of course, you do know that buying a woman dinner entails.....expectations........:)
 AlfredoDP
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 120
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 10:36:07 PM
I see, an affair in the streets of Montreal?
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 121
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 10:41:47 PM

I see, an affair in the streets of Montreal?




I think they should get a room.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 122
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 6/30/2012 10:46:25 PM
I think it’s kinda sweet. :)
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 123
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/1/2012 11:03:30 AM

Well, it would be my pleasure, but where? I can't think of where one can dine on raw food in Montreal.....Aside from the Atwater Market in August......


They have a nice smoothie bar in Old Montreal.. right on the main street there.. If that is not enough to satisfy your hunger we can head over to Crudessence on Mackay near Sherbrooke.. However a nice smoothie can keep me going until dinner time..Love to be liquid in the summer months, how about you?


Food at the Jewish is hardly a route to seduction....barely a route to survival, really......


Oh I agree with you hardly seduction food.. Have a little raw cacao in your smoothie with a little Maca and you might just become that bull in a china shop..


And of course, you do know that buying a woman dinner entails.....expectations........:)


Indeed plenty of expectations here..
You arrive in nice clean clothes (if you wear skinny jeans so will I), fingernails are nicely scrubbed, and are the purrfect gentleman..
Can you handle mine? lol
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 124
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/1/2012 11:17:23 AM

I nominate Fleuron to chaperon and I will volunteer myself as well. I owe her (Fleuron) a beer and I think it'd be fun to intrude....I MEAN....meet other POF'ers at the same time while watching an actual first POF "meet".

(Fleuron.......do you have a camera on your cell? I'm having visions of "YouTube" dancing in my head.......)


Bring a stun gun just in case he gets to wild on the Maca and Raw Cacao okay? lol
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 125
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/1/2012 11:25:56 AM
smartblonde says:


OP, here in my area the opposite is true...the guys want to meet for coffee to see if you look bed-able.


Janet says:


That is pretty funny... only because isn't that what we ALL do?

When I say I want to see if there's chemistry, I'm really having to imagine myself at some point getting naked with the guy... otherwise it's not going anywhere.
We're all the same... if you say otherwise you're only lying to yourself



Now ain't that the truth...I don't know about anyone else, but that's what I do. I try to imagine myself in his arms, tasting his lips....so on and so on. If I can't conjure up that image, we aren't going to go much further than the initial meet.

Besides, the very reason I most likely agreed to sharing dinner is because after exchanging e-mails and phone calls....I not only felt comfortable but felt compelled to further explore the possibilities.

...mae
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