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 Maverick325
Joined: 5/1/2011
Msg: 33
For the guys: Do girls message you first?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Men are expected to be the persuars. Men are the ones who women pick. We do not pick them. Figure it out. Stop being so clueless. We are the ones who must prove our worthiness to them to get noticed around here. We are the ones who must capture their attention. Women will always have men chasing them because they are women. Their appearance, personality, financial standing etc. do not matter whereas ours does. Yes, it's a double standard, but if you want to get a woman, then get with the program.


Well, we need to stop playing that game as much as we can and turn the tables on them. If we stop playing their game, they won't be able to play it, either. But you're right women will be women and men will be men. Actually women's appearance does matter. And personality does too if they want to not just find a man, but keep him--they just don't have to be as charming because women are naturally charming to men, but not vice-versa. The rest doesn't matter that much.

So, yeah, if you want to increase your odds, contact them first. Personally, there just aren't that many women I am interested in on this site, plus it saves time to just let them come to me. Occasionally, I'll browse the profiles quickly to make sure that some knock-out girl doesn't slip under my radar, but it only takes a few messages here and there to take care of that.
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 34
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History
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/2/2012 8:12:08 AM
The success rate is very much dependent on the guy.

I ran through various iterations of my online profile, testing out various approaches to see how much response and what types of responses I would recieve.

Those profiles ranged in length from a couple paragraphs to mini novels, and some had a lighter approach than others.

If a profile is well written, you will usually get some kind of response. And if it's exceptionally well written, the response can be surprising.

You definitely get more responses with a photo. However, I also found that an exceptionally well written profile without a publically posted photo can too.

Some of the most interesting Women I met was when I specifically chose to NOT post a photo, though the response rate is far lower since alot of people Only search profiles with photos.

And don't under-rate the forums. When I was single I would get approaches from Women just based on my forum posts... strange but true. Forums posts are nice in that you get to show parts of yourself without expectations or feeling like you're trying to cater to a particular audience.
 SirDorksAlot
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 35
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/3/2012 11:48:27 AM

I've only used this site for 2 days and gotten 4 emails from girls first..


Wow. you're a lucky guy.
I get maybe between 1-5 emails every 6-12 months at a time and never in one or two days. but i do get a lot of good replies so it all balances itself out haha


Men are expected to be the persuars. Men are the ones who women pick. We do not pick them. Figure it out. Stop being so clueless.

women are also sick of being pursued by self-absorbed douche bags


We are the ones who must prove our worthiness to them to get noticed around here. We are the ones who must capture their attention.

Actually its women who are suppose to catch our attention by dressing sexy, looking pretty.... not the other way around fruit cake.


Women will always have men chasing them because they are women. Their appearance, personality, financial standing etc. do not matter whereas ours does. Yes, it's a double standard, but if you want to get a woman, then get with the program.

Or don't use his program... just play it smooth and cool buddy. lol
 minervyx
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 36
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:19:18 AM

Basically what it says in the title, I read about girls emailing guys first. How common is this or do you have to be like 10/10?

I've only used this site for 2 days and gotten 4 emails from girls first.


People tend to get more e-mails if they are newer users, but then it goes down to earth.

I don't think it is as common for women to message men, especially since it is culturally accepted that men should usually do the initiating.

However, if a guy has an interesting profile, that leads to some avenue of conversation, then he should get a good amount of messages.

To me, I found that the cases where women messaged me were a lot more successful as in setting up a date than the ones I message.
 THANATOSLIVES
Joined: 5/19/2012
Msg: 37
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:42:40 PM
I have had 2 profiles on here and not once has a women written to me. then again I am an ugly **stard. You know what thou I don't really care
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 38
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History
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/4/2012 2:22:33 PM

Ironically when they do message first it's most often "hi" or "hey"...

The number one complaint that I read in girls profiles is receiving that kind of simple message... But it's okay for them to do so....? Hah.


Has any of those girls actually said not to send "hi" or "hey" messages in their profile as well?
I recently had a girl like that recently.. she sent me a flirt and got all pissy when I gave her a one sentence response. LOL




Atm I live in a town of 10,000 people.. The nearest town to that is like half an hour away !


Oh pooor baby! I live in a smaller town and the only towns with in half an hour are smaller than mine! I would have to go an hour or more to get to a more populated area.
 JDH1120
Joined: 5/21/2012
Msg: 41
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/4/2012 3:57:45 PM
Not on this site, but on OKC I get messaged almost every day by someone new. On POF I have only messaged one person, she said she would get back to me and she disappeared. Oh well, no biggie. But no one has started the initial message to me on here. Weird because I use the exact same profile and pictures. But on OKC I have a much much much higher success rate. I've only messaged one member on there, but she was boring to talk to so I stopped messaging her.

But what I do is I state at the bottom that I strongly admire a woman who isnt afraid to show interest in a guy, and I tell them all they have to do is say hi and I'll take care of the rest. It works out pretty well.
 Scotti1989
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 42
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:56:39 PM

Has any of those girls actually said not to send "hi" or "hey" messages in their profile as well?
I recently had a girl like that recently.. she sent me a flirt and got all pissy when I gave her a one sentence response. LOL


Well now that you mention it, I can't be certain it was those girls... I'd have to check.

I did reply to one of the "hey" messages with "hi :)" and then let it simmer for a day or so... She then came back and called me a snob. :\

I was a bit puzzled and mentioned she was being hypocritical... Boy did that go down well LOL.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 44
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:33:08 AM
I get 2 to 3 a week.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 45
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/5/2012 2:40:36 PM
I think it depends on a number of things:

Age range
Location
What they/you are looking for, etc.
 juicyfruit21
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 46
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/6/2012 2:23:24 PM
Yes I get messages from women but 99.9 % of the time they're from ones that aren't my type.
I think either this happens in reverse as well or I totally SUCK at writing msgs.

ComplekCity:
I cannot for the life of me think that YOU would suck at anything....and I cannot imagine ladies not responding to you....wink:) !!

But back to the OP: which is why we are all here...I think that it really doesn't matter who writes to whom....just keep throwing out the bait...cannot fish without it, my friend. :)
 juicyfruit21
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 47
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/6/2012 2:26:40 PM
I get 2 to 3 a week.


Doesn't surprise me. :)
 MacInOC
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 48
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/6/2012 2:50:53 PM
I know this is a different flavor than your original question. But, after a few PoF exchanges, I'll leave my phone number. And they never mail me theirs back, which is ok.

BUT then, after a few days I will get a text message my phone, AND I NO IDEA WHO IT IS!!!! No name, no hint, just some unknown number.

So the answer is YES, a girl will message my phone first and it does no good if I don't know who it is.
 Scotti1989
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 50
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:01:12 PM

I know this is a different flavor than your original question. But, after a few PoF exchanges, I'll leave my phone number. And they never mail me theirs back, which is ok.

BUT then, after a few days I will get a text message my phone, AND I NO IDEA WHO IT IS!!!! No name, no hint, just some unknown number.

So the answer is YES, a girl will message my phone first and it does no good if I don't know who it is.


See... I do this occasionally as a test to see if she's interested "hey I gtg ttyl, or here's my number if you want to txt me...", because she actually has to go and get her phone, key in my number and then msg me.... Like there's plenty of opportunity for her to just message good night on Pof, and leave it at that. But they don't.

Each time I do it, I get a txt within 2-3 minutes of the message, which says to me that they're eager... So I continue on pursuing but after a few days when I feel I would like to meet they get flakey... But they continue to initiate txt anyway.

Now I've got half dozen people I do not know, sending me txts and I can't do anything bout it. I can't block them.
 Scotti1989
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 51
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:02:52 PM
**by "people I do not know" I mean people I haven't actually met. I know which one is sending the txt as they're in my phone.
 Cobra977horsepower
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 52
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:11:36 PM
I mostly recieve the messages first. I get all kinds of PM's.....but I get lots of lady's giving me all their info, and wanting to meet me right away. Its crazy sometimes. I'll be off POF for a day or two, and when I get back on, I have 2-3 pages of PM's from lots of folks!!
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 53
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/10/2012 4:03:11 PM
the only girls that message me first are ones that want to comment about how big my ears are and how goofy I look and how much of a pathetic nerd I am. (Basically really negative bullshit)

I literally average 2-3 messages a year that are genuine interests.
 freeway.95144
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 55
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/10/2012 5:08:29 PM
I get about 4-5 unsolicited messages a week. Most of those are from girls I am not interested in. I do get more messages from girls who are responding to me contacting them first.
 BrianColorBlue
Joined: 6/12/2012
Msg: 56
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/10/2012 6:52:41 PM
I used to get them all the time from un attractive woman. Only about 3 or 4 messages me first and were good looking. It's very uncommon.
 TheoriginalGeek
Joined: 7/8/2012
Msg: 59
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:28:57 AM
O.O 4 E-mails from girls...FIRST!?!? O.O I'm shocked. I'm lucky if I get one e-mail from a girl first a year! A YEAR! Either you are extreemly attractive, doing something right, or...Lying.
 Scotti1989
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 60
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:42:00 AM

O.O 4 E-mails from girls...FIRST!?!? O.O I'm shocked. I'm lucky if I get one e-mail from a girl first a year! A YEAR! Either you are extreemly attractive, doing something right, or...Lying.


That's because you need to give them something to make them want to message you...

In your profile you are 32 y/o with no pictures and lots of talk about video games and RPG's. You should head over to the profile review forum and possibly add some other (unisex) interests or hobbies to your profile. Very few women are even slightly interested in video games, even at the casual gaming level.
 TheoriginalGeek
Joined: 7/8/2012
Msg: 61
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:50:22 AM
Sorry champ. That's who I am. That's what I do with my time. I guess I could lie. That might work! All I have to do now is see what women look for in men! Thanks for the advice! ;P
 TheGentlemanCaller
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 64
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/14/2012 9:28:21 AM
First of all I let a woman know I'm interested. If she's interested, she'll write. That is if she's read my profile. Some do, some don't read them, they just look at pics. But I rarely write first not because of rejection, but simply not to waste her time. Sounds a bit weird, but I was raised in an old fashion sense. Something some can not appreciate. But if she sees you have checked her out or added her as a favorite, then something sparked your interest and hopefully like wise.

As for the "only the ugly ones". is a bit extreme. Beauty is int he eye of the beholder. First of all some women are more forward then others, or in this case not your type. But irregardless I have seen many physically beautiful women on here that were just plain ugly with how they are as a person, and some women on here that got prettier as I got know them. I had a beautiful woman once told me the following quote, and I think it fits well here. A blind man once said, "I have never met an ugly person unless they chose to be."
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 65
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/14/2012 9:42:43 AM
When I actively looking for a date on POF, I rarely got emails from women first. Maybe 1-2 emails a month at the most. When I was on another dating site, women contacted me much more often. Sometimes I would get 4-5 emails / winks a week from women. I had some initial interest in about 50% of the women that contacted me first.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 66
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/14/2012 10:17:32 AM
Wow, a lot of you are getting anywhere from 4-5 messages a week? I'm lucky if I get that in a year or 2 haha! I send a lot of messages on here, and some message me first, but it's rare. I haven't gotten hate mail, I just get ignored, which is fine.
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