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 nyyankee_in_al
Joined: 5/14/2011
Msg: 101
For the guys: Do girls message you first?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
i rarely get messaged first and when i do they are not my type at all lol. but i think the not getting messaged first could be attributed to my profile and my pics. which would explain why i don't get responses lol.
 alan_50501
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 102
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/20/2012 8:43:28 PM
I dont get any emails...
 mistersomeoneelse
Joined: 9/2/2010
Msg: 103
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/20/2012 8:49:13 PM
It almost never happens this way for me, and when it does, they're never my type.
 JDH1120
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 104
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/20/2012 9:33:52 PM
On here I never get a message. On , on average, I'll get about 2 or 3 a week, although last week nothing. It's weird because my profile is very similar, with the same pics, yet I dont even get many views here. I probably get like one or two views in a two week span. I dont go on many dates, and its 99% likely because I all but refuse to message a woman. I'm tired of putting in the effort of coming up with a personalized message, so to help weed out who is actually interested I state that women should message me. If they view me and dont say hi then I wont bother messaging them.
 thehost3524
Joined: 8/16/2012
Msg: 105
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/20/2012 10:46:07 PM
Have never got a message sent to me in 3 years of being on pof off and on. Know guys that have made fake "hot guy" profiles and had up to 20 messages sent to them a day.

I don't get many profile views either. Women don't look at the profile if your thumbnail pic didn't impress them.
 JDH1120
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 106
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/20/2012 10:51:01 PM
Yeah, many females claim they want substance. but they drop their panties in flash (metaphorically speaking of course) if your pic is really hot. At least some males on here dont delude themselves, and actually state they want to just hook up and are only looking for something superficial and shallow. Sure, its trashy the messages they send, but at least they are honest, and for that I respect them more than I do many females on here.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 107
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/21/2012 1:27:28 AM
JDH1120: you are speaking the truth my friend. this is the reason you can look at the POF site and see the same single women on here for years on end. everyone says they want substance, but they dont prioritize for it. getting the best looking guy possible is generally the number one priority, so much so that almost nothing else even matters. when i first started dabbling with the fake "hot guy" profiles i really couldnt believe how shallow the women were. i consider them broken and undateable. not all women are like this, but the vast majority of them on here are.
 JDH1120
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 109
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/21/2012 10:09:12 AM
I understand that women want someone they find attractive, we all do, but when many claim they want more and they see several profiles of guys who could be right for them, they still wont message or respond, opting instead to hold out for the 9 or 10 when they are attracted to a 6 or 7. Basically many females are hypocrites. Don't say you do not want to be objectified when all you do is criticize others for their looks. Obviously this doesnt mean she has to go for a 3 or 4, no one would expect her to, just like no guy would. But females should at least be honest about it. Then they would get more respect.

You can switch out women for men in that entire paragraph and it would still remain true. But at least a man is willing to admit, more so than a woman, that he is shallow and is only looking for something superficial. I've only seen a small handful of profiles where a woman states she's looking for hot guys only, and for that I respect her because she isn't BSing anyone. When women start acting more honest then they will get a more honest man.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 110
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/21/2012 2:28:12 PM
Well gentlemen....
Get a thumbnail that will impress.(of you, NOT fake.)
and be able to back it up with substance.

No use complaining about the shallowness of the less sensible.
Just get their weakness to work for you.
:-P
 jbball50
Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 111
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/21/2012 2:59:41 PM

Well gentlemen....
Get a thumbnail that will impress.(of you, NOT fake.)
and be able to back it up with substance.

No use complaining about the shallowness of the less sensible.
Just get their weakness to work for you.
:-P


Truth, yeah girls will say they want more than just looks and want substance. They want that substance from guys that they are physically attracted to lol. If the physical attraction isn't there, there isn't a chance. I'm sure the ones that are complaining about girls wanting a guy that's "hot" isn't sitting there and messaging girls they aren't physically attracted to also. I'm sure there's some women that are attractive and can look past looks but I'm sure it's a lot easier finding these types irl compared to on this website because they actually get to know you personally and can look past the looks.
 mjk3937
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 112
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/21/2012 3:16:32 PM

I understand that women want someone they find attractive, we all do, but when many claim they want more and they see several profiles of guys who could be right for them, they still wont message or respond, opting instead to hold out for the 9 or 10 when they are attracted to a 6 or 7.


If you can make them laugh, you don't have to worry too much about the 9's and 10's. One of the most attractive girls I've seen on this site wrote to me because my profile was the only one she'd seen that made her laugh.

It's also possible that this site's demographics are weird in your area. When I was looking and had pictures up, I was getting 20-25 first contact messages per week on this site, compared to an average of about 1 on [rival free online dating site]. Which is sort of the reverse of how you said things work for you.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 113
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/21/2012 3:18:30 PM

Have never got a message sent to me in 3 years of being on pof off and on. Know guys that have made fake "hot guy" profiles and had up to 20 messages sent to them a day.


Brilliant idea, as if women don't have enough reasons to not want to send messages to guys here. In my opinion, guys are their own worst enemies.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 114
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/21/2012 3:40:51 PM
Fortunately women aren't as picky about looks as us guys are.
But that doesn't mean they will just email any slob.

My point is.....us guys CAN make ourselves reasonably attractive
with a little effort. No matter if too big...or too scrawny.
It is doable.

Most guys for some reason...
don't make the effort.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 115
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/21/2012 6:54:07 PM
straycat: men working on making ourselves more attractive isnt quite the issue i dont think. out of respect for the sender, i have replied to each and every message i ever got on here. even if i didnt find a woman all that attractive, id still talk to her, or at least let her know that i wasnt quite interested. honestly, id overlook quite a bit in the attractiveness department in favor of a woman with similar morals and interests. i have also found that the pictures on these sites are VERY deceiving. before id decide i was attracted to someone or not, id probably hold out and wait until i saw them in person, since not everyone looks like their pics. on the flip side, if a woman sees your pic and isnt instantly attracted, there is a very good chance she wont even read your message, or view your profile. and your chances of a reply....slim. what this tells me isnt that i should be working on photoshopping my pics (as many women ive noticed do), it says that most of the women here are just too shallow for me. i wouldnt want to date a person who can take one look at your pics and decide whether or not theyd even talk to you, let alone meet you. i dont care what she looks like, a girl like that isnt for me.

one of the few people that i actually met from pof had horrible pics. she was a nice girl though and we had a few things in common so i decided to meet her. lo and behold, she didnt look so bad in person. turns out shes just really camera shy and takes BAD pics. she said much the same thing i do about not wanting to improve her pics just to attract really shallow people. smart girl. unfortunately, we did differ on some key issues so a relationship wasnt in the cards. still, a great girl and shes since found someone.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 116
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/22/2012 8:16:31 AM
It does not happen often, but it does happen and, in my case, those meets go a lot better. I think it just means those women are more serious about dating than most.
 alltrades88
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 117
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/22/2012 8:31:07 AM
id say about 6 a day which is much better than other sites ive been on. I think its just better to let the ladies message you. Women are much more picky and if you start spamming out messages it can get discouraging fast
 alltrades88
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 118
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/22/2012 8:34:29 AM
i agree with vacationguy234 too! alot of these girls work those angles and can be decieving so be careful
 alltrades88
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 119
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/22/2012 9:10:56 AM
were you talking to me? i didnt get that message
 j2488
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 120
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/22/2012 11:03:03 PM
I've actually messaged or shown interest in the guy first plenty of times, and MOST of the time I get no response, I have no idea why it could be a number of reasons from the fact that I have kids, too young, or simply not their type, but I don't let it discourage me, if I see someone I like I give it a shot.
 dontreadme
Joined: 10/15/2011
Msg: 121
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/23/2012 11:20:30 AM
I'd estimate getting 4 to 8 first messages a week from women. It really fluctuates around how frequently I'm on the site and how much time I put into updating my profile. There are a couple of things you can do that'll improve the amount of views you receive on a daily basis. Start there and then worry about first messages later.

I find it's alway helpful to look at what my competition is like. I'll do a search for men in my area and scroll down until I reach my own profile, and then consider how much my thumbnail picture and my headline stick out from the pack. This is important. Have a picture that, even at thumbnail size, is eye-grabbing (hint: this has little to do with your own appearance and more to do with the picture's composition). Also, please for the love of god, get rid of the generic headline. Say something that'll catch women/men off guard. Look at it objectively and ask yourself, is this something that would pique my interest? If not, hit the DELETE button. Please, if you look at your profile and don't think "wow, this is a fun profile. I wanna date this person." Then how in hell do you expect other people to think this. Don't be lazy; put in the work.
 justabirdie
Joined: 7/26/2012
Msg: 122
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/25/2012 10:30:44 PM
If you give your PH number to randoms....what do you expect, you must not have been that interested!!!!
 B1gEddd
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 123
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/26/2012 3:31:49 PM
@ miami_man81 - More often than not the girls will usually not as attractive/over weight. I know that sounds bad but I just have my preferences. The ones I do find attractive usually respond really well texting/calling and we set up a date pretty quickly and don't play hard to get as much. Yeah Cali is usually a lil bit more of a faster pace and when it comes to the profile all you can do is explain who you are and give info about yourself. I tried to do it in a way where they get a sense of who I am and it makes girls feel comfortable and makes them want to know more.
 popcultureloverguy88
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 124
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/27/2012 12:47:59 PM
one girl did message me first recently, she lead me on, really angered me and pissed me off, getting rejected is one-thing, getting lead on is another, if a girl is not interested in me, I wish she would be honest with me straight from the start!
 AndrewEsq
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 125
view profile
History
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/29/2012 2:14:40 PM
Just so everyone knows, NYC is not the place where "free lovin" comes easy. There is scientific fact of that. For example, because there are so many people, everyone who is single can act like a kid in a candy store.

For instance, if the richest guy from "Memphis, Tenessee" (let's call him Johnnie) comes into a club, he may normally be drooled over in...Memphis, Tennessee.

Example:

NYC Girl 1:
"Oh look, there's Johnnie...he is so hot!"

NYC Girl 2:
"Ummm...don't go there girlfriend...Derek Johnson is hotter...he's the richest person in the northeast!"

You get the picture. There is a lot of competition. But also, because there are so many people to choose from that someone is not going to stay with a person for long.

So, living in a large city is a double edged sword...
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