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 popcultureloverguy88
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 126
For the guys: Do girls message you first?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
somethings tells me that the girls who message first on here, they are only doing it for an ego boost
 spiritguy420
Joined: 6/12/2013
Msg: 127
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 6/19/2013 6:18:47 AM
Iv gottin those waves, suddenly theres abunch of girls at once then other days its like im invisable lol
what i hate is that with this site you can have a billion and one things to rip on it about and thats just for girls on the site and then another billion for the guys but im not gonna get in to all that right now but a theory and not saying its right or any thing any real person would know how to filter and limit their messages (just saying) but the girls if lets say for example they're a 6 or above we'll say they are FLOODED with message and alot of them are old or foreigners i swear to you.. so when your constantly getting all these guys who wanna get or be with you.. you think their ego isnt gonna suddenly increase? shit when i get 5 messages i think im on top of the world lol

Also and this is the last one, and i dont mean to rag on the girls we're all trying to be with but they needa get theyre act together you think we're all "complaining" were just venting but how can you ditch the nice guys, go for the bad ass who is a fact gonna treat you like hell eventually down the road and then complain and say you could just find a nice guy and then do it all over again come on, really? lol

but i dunno about anyone else but a few years back i was at home could afford a car and all then i moved into the city a bit more didnt and couldnt afford a car and the biggest thing i got from all of this is girls are materialistic and will always go for the guy with the car. cause when i had a guy i was getting messages and then boom it stopped dead. my roommate who worked nights was getting more than me and he didnt even have time for them like what has happened here.. lol anyway if you have read and respected my views and opinions thanks if not well speak your mind but you wont like what i have to say fair warning lol
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 128
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 6/19/2013 6:54:56 AM

They do, though it's normally in waves or periods.


I agree. On this site, I rarely got initial emails from women. On another site, sometimes I would get emails from 5 women in a week. Then I might get emails from just 1 or 2 women the following 3 weeks. Most of the time it was random. Although the amount of emails I got usually increased after I added new photos to my profile.
 Hanoverfella
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 129
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 6/19/2013 12:56:58 PM
After sending out messages galore, and not much replies back, I just let them contact me if they're interested, and quite a few have messaged me first
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 130
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 6/28/2013 12:33:31 AM

There is only one type of girl that messages first - the desperate weird-o.


...or maybe they just want to talk to you? Seems like you have a tendency to group people together.
 SunDevil29072
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 132
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/1/2013 10:58:43 AM
Farmer, I'm sorry but I have to go with cowboy on this one:

1) Over the last five years, I think that I have messaged first less than five times. Heck, I have gotten first messages years later from women who have first messaged me in the past and decided to not date any longer after the first date. (I'm trying to make sense out of that one ...)

2) I may not be getting 3~4 first messages every day like cowboy, but I'd say I'm getting it about every two to three days in that frequency. And, like cowboy, they are not all ugly women ... many of them are very intelligent and cute. Have I gotten a stalker or two - some whom sends me unsolicited half-naked pictures? Has one of the e-mails been from a woman over in Thailand? Yeah sure, but they are the exception and not the norm.

3) As it being American women, well there are those. However, I have dated women from this site who were Polish, Argentinean, Chinese, and had a LTR with a Russian. I've been contacted by a Venezualean (sp?) and a South Korean. I don't think it is the nationality of the women ... and I am doubting that dating is that "backwards" in the UK.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 133
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/1/2013 12:58:57 PM
Its been a few months since a woman messaged me 1st. But I'm stuck dealing with women in my age range and they rarely send out 1st messages.
 SunDevil29072
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 134
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/1/2013 2:14:10 PM
GJBrown: You do have a point ... you and Farmer are of a different age demographic and cowboy and me. Maybe that is a large part of it.
 wolvesatthedoor
Joined: 5/8/2013
Msg: 135
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/1/2013 3:48:49 PM
No, I'm too old. Sigh.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 136
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/1/2013 7:02:44 PM
I've been on here off and on since 2010, and in that time I've sent oodles of 1st messages that have netted 0, mediocre drop offs, or thanks but no thanks replies. I've only had 3 dates from here, and all of those were from women that had messaged me first. Funny though, people seem to be more receptive around August through October. Strange. 8)
 SunDevil29072
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 138
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/2/2013 10:34:36 AM
Farmer, I see (at least) two nuclear-sized landmines in your profile that would turn off a woman on reading. However, to go into additional detail, Profile Review is a few boards up.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 139
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/2/2013 11:29:54 AM
Sure. If your experiences on here aren't every bit a positive and satisfying as those of *Cowpie*, you are necessarily doing it wrong.

And that has to be true, because he makes a point of posting it every chance he gets.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 140
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/2/2013 11:48:05 AM
I agree with "farmer guy" that men are not as nit picky with pictures as women. And if your hobbies arent very social or you don't take pictures of them, it doesn't make you a boring weirdo. Just yesterday I saw a girl's profile where she goes on and on about loving to travel and go on adventures yet all 4 of her pics looked self taken and from the shoulders up.
being alone is what brought us to this site so whats so wrong with having pictures of you alone. as long as its well lit and you are smiling
 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 141
view profile
History
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/2/2013 11:54:54 AM
I am not a desperate weirdo and I message first. When I see a profile that interests me, I send a good first message, and I always get a reply. I won't message someone that has shirtless photos or bathroom mirror pictures. The profile needs to be well written. There needs to be common interests. If you're not getting messages, you need a better profile.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 142
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/2/2013 12:04:24 PM

How common is this…

Fairly.

or do you have to be like 10/10?

I think it helps to be 50/60.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 143
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/3/2013 6:06:10 AM

If you're not getting messages, you need a better profile.


Or perhaps more likely, you need better photos. My amount of messages didn't increase when I changed my profile. But it often did when I added new photos.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 144
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/3/2013 7:28:55 AM
Um, I don't see myself as a desperate weirdo, but its daylight right now. Maybe the desperation comes out after dark. *lol*

I've always preferred to pick men rather than have them pick me. It sucks when you see a guy, you're interested, and his FRIEND comes over. Great, now how do I get out of this one? So I learned early on to make the first move to increase my chances of getting what I want. My boyfriend and I met on POF and I sent the initial message. I was bombarded with messages since I was a new user and realized I would never find anyone if I just waited. I went on the hunt since it saved time.

I stand by the importance of good profile pics. Thank god my boyfriend didn't have a shirtless pic. Gross and tacky. :( That is a part of your anatomy I shouldn't be seeing until I get to know you better. *lol*

As for pics with you having fun, of course you need those. If you're not willing to give your customer what they want, why complain when no one wants to buy? You're not a victim. You're not in a hopeless situation. You're a person who lives in an unfair world, just like we all do. I'd love for my age to not make a difference. It does. I'd love for my looks to not make a difference. They do.

If you know the problem and aren't willing to fix it then you're no longer complaining...you're whining.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 145
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/3/2013 10:05:42 AM

"what is that it? Where's the adventure shots? She must live in a cave and socialise with hermits or something". .............seriously!


I think that's a bit extreme. :)

In my opinion your profile is supposed to work for you. If it doesn't do its job, then it's a failure. Pics of you enjoying yourself doing the things you love makes you more attractive. Why not take the opportunity to be more attractive to the opposite sex? It's not like people are suggesting you do something undignified. If I were told to post pics of myself in a bikini sucking a lollipop, I'd laugh and say, "hell no". Sure, I'd get more attention, but I won't debase myself to get it.

You don't need a Ferrari or a plane to have fun outside. You have a pic of yourself out in nature which is perfect. It's a picture that reads: You go outside, you're active, and maybe you could use a new walking buddy. Maybe that walking buddy could be me. Pics like those make me want to join in. A pic of you alone in your bathroom...not so much.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 146
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/3/2013 1:24:57 PM
No one takes pictures of me while I'm working out, playing video games, or drawing a comic. And I wouldn't want them to! Also just because someone has a picture of them being outside it does not mean they are active unless the picture is of them being active outside.
nothing is ever good enough for some people. I enjoy myself plenty but I rarely have anyone take a picture of it and if they do I don't ask for a copy.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 147
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/3/2013 8:02:31 PM

I stand by the importance of good profile pics. Thank god my boyfriend didn't have a shirtless pic. Gross and tacky. :( That is a part of your anatomy I shouldn't be seeing until I get to know you better. *lol*


Some women on POF will complain about shirtless photos. However I know multiple men that used shirtless photos on other dating sites. All of them told me that they got more emails after they added the shirtless photos. If a woman liked a man’s profile and his other photos, then get to know him instead of make broad assumptions about him because of 1 shirtless photo.
 sundress_1
Joined: 5/25/2013
Msg: 148
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/5/2013 1:26:05 PM

I stand by the importance of good profile pics. Thank god my boyfriend didn't have a shirtless pic. Gross and tacky. :( That is a part of your anatomy I shouldn't be seeing until I get to know you better. *lol*


A man having multiple shirtless photos of himself flexing in front of a mirror can be a turn off. One shirtless photo of himself at a beach or even sitting on his couch is okay. Provided that he has a nice body. LOL.
 SunDevil29072
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 150
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 7/5/2013 6:40:01 PM
Im still waiting for Sundevil to explain his two landmines that he was referring to even though ive probably already pointed them out myself.

Am interested to hear your response and whether the claim is legit.

As stated, i cant repost in profile reviews due to Pof technical issues


You know as well as the next person ... we can't do profile reviews within threads: it is against the rules.

Honestly, I looked around the other day and couldn't find your thread on that board. If you want to start a new one, then that is fine or if you can find the old one, that's great.

However (and I am being stone cold honest), I do see two landmines in your profile.

Now, back to the thread ...

Yes, women do message men first. I'm been on several dates on this site, and in the last three years I've sent out less than five first messages to women. (And I think from all of that none of the women I initially messaged resulted in a date ... which is the reason why I normally fall back to just letting women message first)
 J91958
Joined: 5/30/2015
Msg: 151
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/23/2016 9:00:24 PM
I get a lot of messages from men. They obviously don't read my profile and are unaware we not be a good match. When I have messaged men which I often do I don't get a great response either and often I am ignored. I live in Toronto and for some reason men in the US find me very interesting, not sure what that is about
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 153
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/24/2016 6:16:10 AM
Yes they do. Therefore you don't have to be what society calls a "10". You don't even need to wear fancy clothes to get messages.

On the "OK" site, some of the gals who send a first message are real, but many are obvious scammers. They're usually far away and send generic short messages.

On POF, the vast majority of the ones who message me first are real.

On Tinder and similar apps, two people have to vote yes on each other before they're able to send a message. This probably increases confidence compared to sending an unsolicited message. Not unusual for the girl to message first on Tinder. Bumble makes the girl send the first message; that site also has a 24 hour time limit for the girl to send the message.

Bumble has fields for occupation and education, so if you sound like a "professional", you might get messages from gals who seek a "professional". My image on POF is a lot more "redneck", "working class", so I prefer the gals who message me on POF because I prefer "redneck" girls over "professional" ones. POF is definitely the most "redneck" site in my area. OKC is more "nerdy" and has more with non-traditional lifestyles such as polyamory and bisexuality. Not on any paid sites, but would imagine they're most like Bumble in terms of "professionals".

The OP's 4 messages in the first 2 days is more than many guys get. I got one message in the first 24 hours after uploading a photo. She was lame: her message was about my zodiac sign (unfortunately, her message showed she read my profile more than many messages do, as many just say "hey there" or similar fluff).
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 154
view profile
History
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/24/2016 9:01:06 AM
If, women would message more, I'd be inclined to start doing the same, again.

Sometimes, I think of OLD as a room full of people who are quiet. No one is saying anything to anyone. Now, in reality, would that really happen? (Only in church) I think things would work better if both sides opened up more. So you end up moving through more people, so what? I'd bet the success rate would go way up. I can write women all day long if I find some possibles, and I do. Too many no-replies stopped me from even bothering.
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