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 ChrisArtXL
Joined: 3/13/2016
Msg: 155
For the guys: Do girls message you first?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
95% of the dates I've been on came from them messaging me first. This is about as strong a sign of interest as you can get online. It's nearly a sure thing if your convo skills are tight, which mine are. On the flip side, me messaging first has rarely led to even a first meeting, pure numbers game. Putting up good pics and writing an interesting profile is more efficient in the long run. Why stand there with a pole when you can set up fish traps?
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 156
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/24/2016 10:08:33 AM
IMO short men very rarely get initial MSGs on sites like POF.

Why?

Because to find a person to MSG, you will have to do a search. If they do an advanced search, then height can be one of the filters. I seriously doubt many women will do a search for men as short as 5.4.

I did get a lot of initial MSG on sites like Eharmony, but that is a computer match then the woman can decide to send some kind of MSG when matched.

On a site like POF, I would rather just do a first contact and if I got no reply, I am not sure how much it would bother me to not get many response. But to many non responses, I am sure I would move on to another site and keep moving to other sites until I found an acceptable number of replies.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 158
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/24/2016 1:01:05 PM
Yes, they do.

I'm currently in an exclusive relationship with a gal that messaged me first :)
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 161
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/24/2016 4:43:41 PM
Did not get a lot when I was active, once a month maybe, not always women I found attractive but it certainly does happen.
Had 2 relationships over a year long with women who contacted me first.
A few smiling pics and a profile that shows a good/happy attitude will get messages.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 162
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/24/2016 7:41:42 PM
#154 J91958
I live in Toronto and for some reason men in the US find me very interesting, not sure what that is about


they are planning ahead....if Trump wins!
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 163
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/24/2016 7:45:56 PM
Clooneystutor


I'm currently in an exclusive relationship with a gal that messaged me first :)



Congrats!
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 164
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/24/2016 10:26:36 PM

I get a lot of messages from men. They obviously don't read my profile and are unaware we not be a good match.


Same, here. I'm starting to think they can't read, or that some guys just send a generic copy-and-paste message to tons of women.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 165
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/25/2016 5:16:18 PM
You're not the first to say that. A casual guess says it doesn't work.

I can understand why. Personal messages do take time, and I doubt the level of response makes it not really worth it. Two-three new messages composed would eat up an entire evening. A five minute message reads like one. It generally takes me at least an hour to write one. Want clever? Then two hours.

Two hours spent on one message that won't get answered is quite foolish. Too foolish to waste my time on. Since I don't know where in the grand spectrum of dating, who would be attracted to me, then it becomes a totally wasted effort on my part.

Now, if women would put a little effort into making the first move, then it just might payoff for them. But no, they won't because the men are supposed to make the first move. That would be all fine and dandy if they would offer a wee bit of encouragement. But that's not happening ether.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 166
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/26/2016 6:48:07 AM

some guys just send a generic copy-and-paste message to tons of women.


For the most part, it doesn't matter what a man writes.( Exceptions would include emails are that crude, overaggressive etc ) If a woman likes his pictures and profile, he will probably get a positive response. The email content didn't have an major impact on the amount of emails I got. Whenever I got more emails, it was often after I added new and better pictures. Or to a lesser extent after I revised my profile. Also the majority of first dates / messages I had were with women that contacted me first.
 2016summer2016
Joined: 3/18/2016
Msg: 167
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 8/26/2016 9:29:10 PM
@ Op no they do not write me first. The exception is the extremely desireable. I also agree that it does not matter what a first message says, it is all about your picture.
 usernonymous
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 169
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/12/2016 5:39:01 AM
Forget messaging me, I haven't gotten a "viewed me" in over 4 months. I am adamant my viewed me button is broken..... ; )
 kate08690
Joined: 8/11/2016
Msg: 170
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/12/2016 3:10:29 PM
I've messaged maybe 10 guys first, most of them didn't reply. I think 2 added me to their favorites and I messaged them, only one replied, in the end I Wish he never responded. One viewed my profile and didn't message me, I found him attractive and messaged him.....I'm not good enough for you? He replied and we sent about 20-30 messages back and forth but he stopped replying so that was that.

I will say I was quite surprised not to hear back from some of them, thought to myself wtf does he think he is, then I thought OMG all the men who took a chance to write me (which is pretty high IMO) must be thinking....wtf does she think she is....hehe

So from my experience I don't plan to message men, I hate to sit back and wait for him to find me but I just know I'm not for everyone and I see so many complaints on here that the only chicks that write them are the fat girls, so I'll be one less fat girl sending unwanted messages :D
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 171
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/12/2016 6:23:59 PM

I will say I was quite surprised not to hear back from some of them, thought to myself wtf does he think he is, then I thought OMG all the men who took a chance to write me (which is pretty high IMO) must be thinking....wtf does she think she is....hehe


See what happens when you walk a mile in someone else's shoes?
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 172
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 7:50:41 AM
I probably get 1 - 2 girls messaging me a week.

Pictures count for a lot, but so does the actual profile words - it is a glimpse into who you are.

If you stand out, and come across as someone trusting, honest, fun, and genuine...you're going to get action online...unless your pictures are just horrible.

From my experience, after the age of 30, a lot of girls change their priorities. They move appearance down from #1. Security, fun, and building a future together counts for a lot more.

If you are boring and blend into the sea of endless profiles...you're not going to get much attention. You must stand out.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 174
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 11:36:12 AM

I think most people use looks as an excuse for their failure tbh


Is that because women have really been looking for "short, light, and ugly" all this time, and NOT "tall, dark, and handsome"?


If you are boring and blend into the sea of endless profiles...you're not going to get much attention. You must stand out.


If 99% of the profiles on a dating site have a picture, wouldn't a profile WITHOUT a picture stand out in the endless sea of pictures?
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 175
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 1:47:46 PM
my favorite message sequence ever;
She messaged me....."I like you!"
I checked her profile and wrote back "and I like you!"
her next message, her phone number
I called her right away, and as soon as I heard her voice I knew it was on. Met her the next day at the sushi bar, as I
walked in, she was at the bar, and 1000 times more beautiful than her pics......massive makeout sesh in the parking
lot, and sex on the 4th date, ya get lucky sometimes.
If I send a message my return rate is less than 1%, its always been that way.......so do what you gotta do to set fish traps.

I once did a study with a fake profile. I found a pic of a super good looking guy, and put all the right stuff in his
profile, successful, harley, dog lover etc. If I enable this guy, he gets 15 messages and 20 want to meets in 4 hours!
The suprising result was, alot of the women messaging him were 5's at most, not all beautiful women.........take what you want from that.........fish traps, yup.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 176
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 1:59:43 PM
A study? LOL
Was the guy 1000 times better looking than other guys?
As for the first part.. cool story Bro :/
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 177
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 2:06:22 PM

I once did a study with a fake profile. I found a pic of a super good looking guy, and put all the right stuff in his
profile, successful, harley, dog lover etc. If I enable this guy, he gets 15 messages and 20 want to meets in 4 hours!
The suprising result was, alot of the women messaging him were 5's at most, not all beautiful women.........take what you want from that.........fish traps, yup.


When you make a new profile, it gets noticed way more than profiles that have been sitting there for a long time. It's at the top of the list and it's normal for people to notice a new face.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 179
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 5:02:44 PM
Ouija - he was what I figured women like, square jaw, killer smile ect, I was dead on the money.....
Coma - wrong.....I can enable this guy anytime with the exact same results, its like flies on shit. Of course, I'm the one that needs to market myself, and I do......but every now and then if I'm bored I let him out of the cage, its really funny, the 5 that rejected me is all over him lol......
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 180
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 5:10:33 PM
^^^^^ That's just wrong. :(
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 181
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 5:44:37 PM
you're right darlin, it was an awful thing to do, and I will punish myself, but sometimes its good to some wrong stuff :D
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 182
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 7:53:58 PM

I once did a study with a fake profile. I found a pic of a super good looking guy, and put all the right stuff in his
profile, successful, harley, dog lover etc. If I enable this guy, he gets 15 messages and 20 want to meets in 4 hours!
The suprising result was, alot of the women messaging him were 5's at most, not all beautiful women...



he was what I figured women like, square jaw, killer smile ect, I was dead on the money.....



its really funny, the 5 that rejected me is all over him lol......



^^^^^ That's just wrong. :(


Without "studies" and "experiments" such as this, and Jon Millward's 2012 comprehensive experiment "Cupid on Trial"(Google it), men might actually believe the lie that women are more interested in what's on the inside than what's on the outside.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 183
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 10:19:27 PM


and sex on the 4th date


Sounds expensive :(
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 184
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For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/14/2016 8:37:24 AM

every now and then if I'm bored I let him out of the cage, its really funny, the 5 that rejected me is all over him lol......


Uhh...and then what? Do you actually have conversations with these girls? Flirt with them? And then what do you do when they take it to the next level and meet?

Or do you just shoot them all down as a way to punish them for not being receptive to your real profile?

I don't get it.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 185
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/14/2016 11:18:07 AM
^^^^^ Good question..then what?
Normally, I have found if it looks too good to be true....It's usually a fake profile with fake pics.
I'd be curious on what image you used, that you perceive as "hawt" to all women.
The dumb like a stick gals may fall for that...I use google image and report you.
Likewise with some women using phoney pics....what's the point?

Ouijia

cool story Bro

Funny gal.....big deal eh, he spent money and got laid but he's still on here...
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