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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs      Home login  
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 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 87
Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairsPage 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
"And the sooner the people stating that cheating is a deal breaker come to grips with this. . . and themselves . . .the better."

Spoken by a true cheather.


You know nothing of what went on.All I see in you is a bitter woman that let herself go.Was this a factor in your situation?
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 88
Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:50:12 PM
"And the sooner the people stating that cheating is a deal breaker come to grips with this. . . and themselves . . .the better."

Spoken by a true cheather.


My first thought also. . It's the classic approach of those who lack integrity...their action is somehow justified by the circumstance. Like the car thief who justifies his own immoral behavior in part because someone left their car unlocked. No, it's not good to leave one's car unlocked but it in no way sanctions the behavior of the thief.


This from the guy who has never stated he was married or had kids.

Let's not hear anything about integrity from the guy that admits driving around with his gf jerkin' him.Or is she actually blowing you trekker?
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 89
Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:09:31 PM
I would not. ....................................................................................
 Sometimes Goofy
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 90
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Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 7/16/2012 8:08:53 PM
Agree. I think the pattern of behavior has to do with integrity and that's big if one has committed to a monogamous relationship. If there's something wrong with the relationship that communication can't work out, then it's time to move on, but integrity is a personal trait that I see as a core value. It would be hard for me to take someone seriously if I didn't feel there was a foundation of integrity somewhere inside. But that's what occurs to me while I sit and ponder right now....it may be that the shades of gray impact the situation in real life, it would be a struggle.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 91
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Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:57:00 PM
To summarize - I read the whole 7 pages of this thread, and I'm finding that some posters think that 90% of the general population cheat, then there are some who are sure the most people don't cheat, and then there are some who admit that quite a few people may cheat, but they wouldn' date them. And then there are few compassionate souls who are willing to listen to the story and look at the real person. I think, we may need another 7 pages to sort it out.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 92
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Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:29:22 AM
if a person volunteers info on his/her affair, then one of two scenarios: 1) letting you know they are not looking for commitment or 2)simply honest.

i mean come on, how many people admit to having affairs?!*

you need more data and if there are redeeming qualities, more time to "really" assess the particular situation. much harder dating a screw around who does not reveal anything!

often people stay together for the kids. or they lead a sexless marriage. so many stories...you really need to hone in your people skills in today's dating world. learn to ask the same questions over time in many different ways. see if it all adds up!
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 93
Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 7/17/2012 1:54:47 PM
If somebody is a serial philanderer,to me that is a personality trait.That doesn't necessarily include the majority of people in a war.If any of the people here were to loudly proclaim their distaste for actions in a troubled past marriage,what would you expect to hear from somebody when you look into their eyes....stats are stats people.If you want to start a relationship with a person with deception right from the start,that's your business.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 94
Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:48:45 PM

So just when does one ask "so, did you fvck around on your wife/husband?" - is that after the salad and before the entree or wait until after dessert. How does a person determine a serial philanderer from a One Time Charlie?


After desert.:)If there was a sure fire test it would be real popular.
 ninjaeleven
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 95
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Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:04:11 PM
I guess that would depend on how long ago they did that and if they knew they messed up. A deal breaker for me is a smoker.
 Latticuss
Joined: 7/10/2012
Msg: 96
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Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 8/24/2012 7:16:15 AM
Another subject that will be beat to death in here
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 97
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Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 8/24/2012 11:27:22 AM
yes i would
i would have no problem with that at all........
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 98
Would you date someone who admitted to previous affairs
Posted: 8/24/2012 2:06:27 PM
Yes I would ....depending on the "why" it happened.
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