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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > "The Butterfly Effect"      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 honest_e
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 26
The Butterfly EffectPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
i've decided that i am actually in love with the butterflies... so when they leave i follow!! LOL it's a very dangerous thing to search for a 'feeling'.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 27
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:36:34 PM

How long was it for everyone here between their own personal "butterfly effects" ... if you know what I'm trying to ask?

Last time for me? October 14, 2004. Hasn't happened since. Doubt it will. JMO
 northbound55
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 28
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:39:24 PM
hmmmmmmmmmmm when was the movie american graffitti out
 northbound55
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 29
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History
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:40:07 PM
i do get them when i see a mercury cyclone at carshows and cars
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 30
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:52:56 PM
Only twice in my life. The first one I was engaged to but due to my immaturity at the time it didn't work out. The next time it happened I married her and it lasted till she was taken. Now I'm hoping for a third time.
 Chris42280
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 31
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 12:53:53 PM
It's a long story why the relationship ended. Long story short, I don't think she was ready for a relationship. She seemed just as crazy about me as I was her ... until suddenly, she couldn't get far enough away from me out of the blue.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 32
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 1:04:17 PM
The Ex 7 years ago. Not since.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 33
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 2:35:42 PM
Latha:
I prefer to be in control of my emotions so would not follow upon butterflies
Intriguing comment.

Usually I feel pretty flatlined, so the butterfly effect definitely stands out. I felt it pretty recently actually, but I haven't felt it with many at all. I think only two.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 34
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 2:52:39 PM
I always thought the 'butterfly effect' referred to the energy waves that go out into the universe and affect everything else when the butterfly moves the air. A poetic way of describing how we are all connected.

"Butterflies in the stomach' was the physical description for that delicious happy feeling that we get when in the presence
of someone you are attracted to.
 PhotoGirl870
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 35
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 3:31:11 PM
I've only ever had that feeling with one person and I'll be damned if I didn't act on it! It wasn't meant to be because it didn't happen but I often wonder if anything would have happened had I said anything. I hope I get the butterflies again one day! lol
 Johnnyzehner
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 36
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 4:13:22 PM
Butterflies are overrated.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 37
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 4:14:18 PM
It's only good when the effect is mutual..
 Hopeneverdissapoints
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 38
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 7/2/2012 5:12:53 PM

Butterflies are that true Love...thats that chemistry thing we are all looking for...although butterflies can also make a person close up and seem shy...only because they are really into you..sommetimes the shy butterfly thing makes the other person think you are not into them...lol dating I cant take it anymore...butterfly thing is only going to come natural....its rear and sooo hard to find...keep dating...until you find it...and if you dont feel it...make sure you are upfront from the beginning with the person...tell them right now im only dating to find the one..that way the girl wont feel hurt if shes not the one...she will know up front that the butterflies where not there...


I'm calling BS!

I believe in "True Love." True love ain't some swoopy little feeling in your stomach or crotch or wherever. That's something else entirely.

True love doesn't happen by magic, or chemistry, or luck, or coincidence. Love...TRUE LOVE...is worked at, nurtured, and renewed every day. True love takes a huge investment of time and energy and shows itself precisely when those stupid "butterfly" feelings aren't there... when you look at your spouse and really don't *like* them at that moment but know that you love them even more deeply than the present moment's dislike.

Infatuation, lust, insanity...whatever you want to call that momentary lapse of reason (with due apologies to Pink Floyd) is a quirk that hits hard and flees even more quickly. It cannot carry you through the dry-times, when you look at your partner and realize you don't *like* them at that second, or they don't make your stomach flip-flop anymore, then you're screwed.

By-the-way, it's the pursuit of that non-sensical sensation/feeling that turns people into commodities to be used and then thrown-away when they no longer amuse you any more.

Don't do that to someone else. It really sucks.
 Blueline294
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 39
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 8:05:09 AM
Ah..the butterfly effect. An initial chemical reaction in the body that takes precedence over practically everything in your life at the moment. Almost everyone that passed puberty has had them. The problem are those that when this happens in a relationship (some.... not all) equate the subsiding of that feeling as a sign they haven't found "the one". Which in all likely hood isn't true. My last relationship she used this terminology specifically after 18 months and stated "I just don't feel the butterflies anymore and I know that when I find the right guy that feeling will be there for life" I responded by saying that there's not a human on the face of the earth that can keep you in a perpetual state of "butterflies" and at some point the reality of day to day life has to come back. You can't always be in a good mood, you aren't always going to be in perfect health, financial situations change and family situations change etc. The difference between those that "make a relationship" and those that drift from relationship to relationship looking for that elusive feeling is knowing this and realizing that it takes an effort on both parties to make a lasting relationship. I'm also inclined to believe that they have equated butterflies for love. Last I heard she was with the 3rd or 4th guy since me so I guess the search continues....
 Luv_Life_Now
Joined: 8/6/2013
Msg: 40
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 8:28:30 AM

Ah the all elusive butterflies~
When I meet a man that gives them to me these days,
I RUN! It usually menas t-r-o-u-b-l-e in snug jeans with a nice package.


So true. My experience says those butterflies don't mean anything good. And really great takes time.
 Luv_Life_Now
Joined: 8/6/2013
Msg: 41
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 8:33:50 AM

...there's not a human on the face of the earth that can keep you in a perpetual state of "butterflies"...


Blueline294 - Yes there is. The name for it is psychopath. And the butterflies state is achieved by Idealizing, Devaluing, then Discarding.

Great article at:
http://psychopathsandlove.com/stages-of-the-psychopathic-relationship/
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 42
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 8:47:28 AM
I never equated the idea of swallowing living bugs that still move around in the body to instant love. The closest I got was the feeling of swallowing tapeworms.
 Blueline294
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 43
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 10:23:00 AM
The name for it is psychopath.
http://psychopathsandlove.com/stages-of-the-psychopathic-relationship/
^^^^
I read that and it's funny.....it almost described her to a T. :)

Or then again... would it be wrong to hope she finds what she's looking for :D
 Archiver
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 44
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 2:53:30 PM
Butterfly feelings are neat, but they are a very poor indicator of a successful long term relationship. Affection and attraction grow with time, and relationships take work. Instant chemistry just doesn't last.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 45
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 6:08:24 PM
had that with only one man. The first time he kissed me. For ages after that every time I even just thought of that first kiss, I got the same exact feeling. he ended up being the love of my life. He was also a chronic liar and cheater. Incapable of fidelity. Lied to and cheated on all 3 of his wives. has lied to and cheated on the woman who will be #4.

I don't look for that "feeling" anymore. It's a just a chemical thing. I much prefer a relationship that has more substance.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 46
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 6:20:41 PM

How long was it for everyone here between their own personal "butterfly effects" ...


Years.

I’ve only experienced real butterflies with two men; one I’d rather swallow broken glass than ever see again…the other still gives me residual butterflies when I think of him.

Most gastrointestinal feelings from men has been a temporary queasy nausea….
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 47
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 6:23:20 PM
just be careful... sometimes those things can be intensely good; but sometimes you can miss something amazing altogether if you are trying for one specific reaction.

Some of my most intense butterflies came with a massively bad fit person. The chemistry was off the charts; but we'd never have clicked in a million years; and you can't live on chemistry alone.

So don't be so quick to try and have an exact feeling. One thing being open to it; it's another altogether to be slave to recreating something specific; when you have no way of knowing exactly when you are going to feel it; and how. Sometimes something amazing can totally sneak up on you and take you by surprise; and if you are closed to it because you are looking for a very specific something, you will fully miss out.

Don't box yourself in, ya know?
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 48
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/19/2013 7:05:19 PM
Raid usually takes care of the butterflies.


I am nearly 55 and have only had what I assume you mean as butterflies twice in my life, neither of which lasted very long. The woman I married never gave me butterflies, and that lasted 16.5 years (well 15.5 years before she turned evil).
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 49
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The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/20/2013 5:33:07 AM

Blueline294 - Yes there is. The name for it is psychopath. And the butterflies state is achieved by Idealizing, Devaluing, then Discarding.

Great article at:
http://psychopathsandlove.com/stages-of-the-psychopathic-relationship/


Interesting site that would leave anyone wondering if they're falling in love running a mile on first read. Shame it's another one that gives the impression that all psychopaths are male too.

I've had butterflies too. Some from someone who was a psycho and left me in an abused state and ironically some from someone who must have wondered if I was after thinking I was too good to be true because I seemed so perfect for her. Both left me hurt and bewildered.
 floral2
Joined: 7/10/2013
Msg: 50
The Butterfly Effect
Posted: 9/20/2013 7:38:34 AM

Butterfly feelings are neat, but they are a very poor indicator of a successful long term relationship. Affection and attraction grow with time, and relationships take work. Instant chemistry just doesn't last.


Exactly. I had relationships where the chemistry didn't start developing until the 2nd or 3rd date. I also had dates where there was "instant chemistry" on the first date. But the chemistry quickly fizzled out.
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