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 AUTHOR
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 81
Grocery Store Dating.Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Gwendolyn2010, Your age is showing but you still look good.


My "age" is showing? I am going to be 60 this year--why shouldn't my "age" be showing? Should I be one of these people desperately fighting how old I am and lie about my age? Post an old photo? (Actually, I did--it is the one where I weigh 250 pounds).

Luckily, I have a scintillating personality to back up my fading looks.

I also find this incredibly sexist--why didn't you tell Dragonbits, Pfif, OhHenry or one of the men the same thing?

What does this have to do with this thread?

(Gwen rolls her eyes.)
 gbntbedtyr
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/11/2012 3:12:19 PM
adora71, Hey thanks, kind words are always appreciated. And glad to hear your now an ice breaker too! But most Brits I meat are nice people. I have visited there once, couple hour layover, never found my way out of the Airport :(

rdeffley, Ah the Doe in the headlights, if the girl just can't look away you just know your in trouble. But it sounds like the fates had other plans that time. If she was at all interested you will probably meat again, as she will be watching for you too, or that has been my experience. I've never had a bad experience with the girls who can't look away, nice memories, but none have been Mrs Right.

Gwendolyn2010, sexist, yes, I don't see guys as attractive, sorry, not my cup of tea.

Infinity_G !!! and the truth shalt set you free.
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/11/2012 9:42:19 PM
This thread reminds me of the one time I "thought" I'd caught someone's fancy at the grocery store. I stopped to do some grocery shopping, on my way home from a visit to my mother's place. I picked up a few things & was heading towards the checkout when I saw a display of bananas. I stopped, selected 2 & then said to myself "They're better dipped in chocolate, though."

And I heard the most beautiful, sexy "radio announcer" voice, say behind me, "So many things are"
His tone was so suggestive & sexy, I nearly dropped all my groceries. I couldn't help thinking, "Wow, if
he's cute, I am SO gonna ask him out." I turn around & this handsome 40-something guy & his boyfriend, are smiling at me. LOL
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 84
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:32:20 AM
But again, women at hiking and biking clubs are there to hike and bike, are they not? No different than women being at a grocery store to grocery shop.

No. You join a club for the combination of social interaction with the enjoyment of your hobby. If you just wanted to hike or bike without the social aspect, you'd do it by yourself without joining a club.

Anyway, maybe it's 'cause I'm a southerner (as has been mentioned a few times in this thread already), but I'm accustomed to having random conversation and smiles with strangers in such places as the grocery store. I'll talk with anyone at the store; the stockers in the produce section know me by now and we always smile and greet each other when I visit. However, I won't accept being asked out or asked for my number by someone I've just met, anywhere. The guy knows virtually nothing about me (which would make me think he's not selective enough), and I know virtually nothing about him. If we're chatting and getting along, I would be much more receptive to a friendly invitation (as in: not sounding like a date) to do something relating to some common interest which was discovered during our chat. For instance (using the "biking" example), if we're chatting and find out we both enjoy biking, an invitation to go biking together.
 gbntbedtyr
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 85
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History
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/12/2012 10:31:57 AM
Michaelanns_Married, what a horrible destruction of a great fantasy. It's so special when a girl erases any doubt by asking the guy out, and to have been shot down so utterly. Just no fare.

Irish71, It's fine to be calling them like you see them, but the superlatives are unnecessary, rude; and hey, why not share instead of judge, elaborate without insult, as hey your opinion counts. And you could even be right; but we'll never know because I walked away, as I have just had to deal with too many women in my life that want to cheat on their husband with me, and I am just not interested. Such is an instant deal breaker with me, we won't even be friends, it is just done.

DrLonelyheartsClub_Band, Harmless flirtation? Dr, would you mind expounding on that a little more. To me a flirt is an interest, and the ideology of Harmless Flirtation, is saying to me that the flirt meant nothing. But I do like the ideal of a girl that comes with an instruction manual, especially one without the clause, all rules may change without warning or notice.

purfectmeow, I shake my head with a smile.

Coma White, I like that, sounds like a perfect Candid Camera Skit: Hot Sexy Girl in at some quiet Cafe' flirts with some guy across the room. When he finally approaches her, she holds up her hand stopping him, pulls out a piece of paper, and begins like you said. I would love to see the reactions. (come up with a lot more like that and I might even be interested in producing the show)

pfif Cities are like that, such a shame. Vegas being a nice exception of course. People like to be noticed on their Vacation.

Texan_Gal, that's just called Southern Hospitality!

Sciencetreker, Lived in Sicilia for a spell, I do miss the Hugs.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 86
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History
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/12/2012 12:56:15 PM
"No. You join a club for the combination of social interaction with the enjoyment of your hobby. If you just wanted to hike or bike without the social aspect, you'd do it by yourself without joining a club."

I don't know -- I've part of a number of hobby clubs and social organizations in which women did not seem like they wanted to be bothered while they were doing what they were doing. Of course, it's quite possible they just didn't want to be bothered by ME or whatever guy she was trying to avoid conversation with at the time. Bikers in particular seem pretty serious about what they're doing -- they join these things more for the competition, which you obviously can't get by yourself.

I'm certainly not disagreeing that a biking club wouldn't be a more appropriate venue to approach a total stranger than a grocery store, but I bet you money most of the women who don't want to be approached by a stranger at a grocery store wouldn't want to be approached at a club meeting or social event either.

"You better never pass by me close enough to smell me…but if you do let me know so I can upgrade my deodorant. :) Seriously, I think I’m gonna be paranoid now when I go to the store. I’m wearing baggy clothes from now on."

Baggy clothes will help, but the only time I usually smell a woman from passing by at grocery store distance is if she's the kind of woman who WANTS to be smelled, so I wouldn't worry about that too much. No doubt if I'm smelling a woman who isn't trying to be smelled... that's not a good thing.

As for all these signals and stuff, the handful of times in my life a complete stranger woman hit on me, there was no doubt about it (in fact, once a date of mine was kind enough to help me properly interpret a stranger girl's actions toward me after we encountered her at an amusement park). However, I'm not counting any women who simply seemed excessively friendly... because when finally deciding to act on such behavior, I have never been right -- they were always just excessively friendly women who had no romantic interest in me. Which is the main reason why I don't even bother asking out acquaintances anymore. You just got tired of never being right after a while. I've pretty much stopped being friendly myself because I don't want to be misled by my interpretations of excessively friendly women's behavior anymore, and it's much worse when you have to see them again after making that mistake. So... you win.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 88
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/14/2012 10:44:13 AM

So... you win.


I was under the impression we were having a discussion; not a competition.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 89
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:12:22 AM

If we're chatting and getting along, I would be much more receptive to a friendly invitation (as in: not sounding like a date) to do something relating to some common interest which was discovered during our chat. For instance (using the "biking" example), if we're chatting and find out we both enjoy biking, an invitation to go biking together.

It is going to be a 'date', whether it be formal or casual, as its intent being exactly the same (spending time, getting to know each other). I agree, it's best to obviously go a very casual route if both were complete strangers 5-10 minutes ago. IMO, a one-on-one biking excursion is a bigger deal than say, stopping by a Starbucks for 30m... I would consider the Starbucks outing being a more casual situation than the former.
 gbntbedtyr
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 90
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History
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:35:31 AM
purfectmeow, Yes Southerners, are typically more friendly in every country. A little difference though in a Sicilian GS you can say something in a conversation that you thought was private, and the next thing you know everyone in the GS is coming over and giving you a hug. Sounds like you certainly have a taste of the beauty, but to constantly get hugs from even total strangers you always feel appreciated.

HawkingJr, To give up, the only one you are hurting is yourself, denying yourself of something that can be so beautiful. Yes rejection hurts and there are so many Ice Queens that they can make you greatly devalue yourself. Don't do that to your self. There are women out there with so much inward beauty that it is unimaginable, and finding them makes life awesome.

Irish71. I agree many women do use such as a deal breaker, and I'll even go one further, I've had gal friends that would go as far as to make up a husband or BF to discourage a guy. I can even go further, my GF that wasn't, no deception between us at all, but I was her cover for about a year. We would go out on fake dates, etc. just had a good time. No one hit on her because they thought we were an item, and she didn't loose her job because she was gay.

However I can also tell you of other couples, where the gal will go to the GS to pick up on a guy because the gal's hubby likes to hide in a closet and gets off watching some dude doing his wife.

There's millions of people, and millions of reasons they do what they do. Who's right, who's wrong, and what does it matter.

As for dodging a built, na actually a little more selfish then that, I want the girl who only has eyes for me, well at least
in her heart.

FitAtFittyFive, what a great opportunity that was. Much better line then telling them to "get a room". Good dead, well done.

Now Old Timers in HD, yep got a lot of jobs that way, and many a nice home cooked meal to boot.

Fleuron, Win, no. But hey, if I do win, does that mean you are Marrying the next guy who says hi to you in a GS. Oh and remember, you both must live happily ever after...
 matt051177
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 92
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 10:52:54 AM
Never posted in these forums before, but I think it's kind of strange that I happen to see this thread because I just went on a date with a woman I bumped into at the grocery store.

Granted, she wasn't a complete stranger; I know her from high school. Not only did I graduate high school in 1996, but this girl was one of those people where I "knew who she was" but did not "know her", so she might as well have been a stranger.

Still, it was an uplifting experience. I was just stopping in after work to grab some food, and I left with a phone number. Wasn't expecting that at all.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 93
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:19:33 AM

It is going to be a 'date', whether it be formal or casual, as its intent being exactly the same (spending time, getting to know each other). I agree, it's best to obviously go a very casual route if both were complete strangers 5-10 minutes ago. IMO, a one-on-one biking excursion is a bigger deal than say, stopping by a Starbucks for 30m... I would consider the Starbucks outing being a more casual situation than the former.

I disagree. You can spend time to get to know someone on a completely platonic level, and that's what I would take my variation as being. I'd basically not worry about whether I find the person attractive (heck, it could be a woman) or whether the person finds me attractive. It'd be friendly. Walking up to a girl and basically saying you find her attractive and would like to take her out, I'd see as being much different.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 94
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:06:08 PM
You can spend time to get to know someone on a completely platonic level, and that's what I would take my variation as being.

Technically you could hang out with a (platonic) friend to Starbucks or on a bike ride, yes. A bike ride is a bigger excursion, but both can be done with a friend or more than a friend.

But it's not going to be platonic, as it has no platonic intent unless rarely proven beyond a reasonable doubt (due to evidence), if a stranger guy you have a convo with asks to hang out with you. If it's just platonic, then if you were living with a boyfriend, and one day you start putting on your helmet and grabbing your bike and you start rolling out and he asks "Oh, where you going?" and you respond "Oh, I met this really cool guy named Brad in the checkout aisle. We got to talking, and he likes bike rides and asked me to go biking with him, and so we are....", would be okay. Only an idiot significant other would be okay with that scenario.

It's a good litmus test to see if it's actually platonic or not. Platonic isn't about going slow vs fast. Platonic means it's at Zero, and Zero is not a number, it's the explicit lack of a number. Truly platonic = no potential for being more than friends.

 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 95
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:22:15 PM
You and I might have to agree to disagree on that. I've had experiences of just being invited out to do something as friends and not read anything more into it. For instance, a male coworker and I were chatting about the fact that he runs marathons, and he invited me out to jog with him. He was single, I was single, but I never took it to be anything like a "date", and it wasn't. I wouldn't take a similar invitation from someone at the grocery store to be implicitly anything date-like either. I was suggesting a possibility to someone who wants to get to know a girl better without freaking her out with some date proposal at the grocery store. If it'll actually work in a guy's favor or not can't be known for sure, but I think suggesting something as friends is less threatening/on-the-spot than asking for a date.
 gbntbedtyr
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 96
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History
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:53:17 PM
Janet_Always, I agree 100%, I couldn't imagine going through life hiding in a shell, but true, if that's the way they want to live...

matt051177, Congrats :)

Texan_Gal Been on a lot of dates with gals that were just friends, but there are those who can't see that. The "there must be something going on, they've been going out for six months now..". I look at those as, I know the truth, she knows the truth, all's we can do is tell the truth, if they don't want to believe, that's there problem.

Confident-Realist, I'm no idiot, in fact my IQ is quite high, and it is my education, experience, and confidence that would disagree with you. Bottom line, if the Love that me and my gal have between us, if that Love is not enough to keep her, then I don't need her. I don't need to go through life suspicious, or worried. No if she wants to go ridding with the guys, no problem, the odds are she's coming back, because she Loves me and it is exactly what she says it is. Besides, if it is not what she says it is, there is nothing I'm going to do to stop her either. When love is over, it is over, you can only prolong a misery. And it is much better to let go to salvage a friendship, then to hang on to what is over and make an enemy.
 rdeffley
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 97
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/17/2012 1:24:13 PM
You know what I have always wanted to do? Use the grocery store as a date setting. Think about it. Everyone always asks what someone's favorite foods are, etc.. However, imagine if you took someone there and just spent time together walking the isles, reflecting on favorite foods, which then brought back memories from childhood which would then spin off into other topics of conversation, etc.. Throw in a little spontaneous PDA in the frozen foods, picking out items to make S'mores, and a .99 movie from Redbox and you have got yourself a great, inexpensive, date. Isn't it always more interesting when you can be shown what someone likes as opposed to being told about it?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 98
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:12:23 PM
For instance, a male coworker and I were chatting about the fact that he runs marathons, and he invited me out to jog with him.

Yeah, but that's someone you already knew on a platonic level. However him wanting to take a jog with you might perk some ears about possible intent, but hey, it could just be platonic, so it's much easier to take it on a platonic level because (unless there was sexual tension) it was already platonic between you two. Total difference than a guy coming up to you at a bar or grocery store. If it was a stranger guy approaching you in a public place, the intent couldn't be hidden. There's obviously interest by default to ask to go out with you, whether it's a taking-you-out-to-dinner, a bike ride, or stopping at a coffee shop to continue conversation.

I was suggesting a possibility to someone who wants to get to know a girl better without freaking her out with some date proposal at the grocery store.

But it IS a date! Not a formal date or a "date date", but it is a date in the general sense, because it has the exact same thing in common as a date-date: intent & interest. I understand comfort-level. That is important, and nobody likes a spotlight & expectations thrust on them. That's why it's common to ask for something non-romantic -- but that doesn't mean it's platonic at all... in order for it to be platonic, it's intent would have to be strictly platonic. Not role-playing platonic. But then again, asking an opp-sex stranger in a public place to hang out sometime, even something no-frills, is pretty obviously not platonic.

But what I was trying to make clear is that one shouldn't fool themselves. It's not "just friends". It's taking a casual approach, to avoid pressure & expectations. Big difference.

Something's only platonic unless it's okay to carry the whole situation through in every way, when you have a serious significant other. If I asked a girl who I talked with in the checkout isle, for her # and to hang out with me, while I had a girlfriend, I'd be the the bad guy. Why? It's not a platonic move. Even if it was for a non-romantic endeavor by itself (coffee, bike ride, or any daytime activity that friends do too).
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 99
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 8/19/2012 8:36:09 AM

You know what I have always wanted to do? Use the grocery store as a date setting. Think about it. Everyone always asks what someone's favorite foods are, etc.. However, imagine if you took someone there and just spent time together walking the isles, reflecting on favorite foods, which then brought back memories from childhood which would then spin off into other topics of conversation...


Actually, this is a great type of date and I have done it plenty of times. What you do is invite them for dinner, so you either pick them up and go to a farmer's market or cool market or she comes to your place and then you both go there. It can be so much fun, but then you pick your menu, what you want to eat. Go home, then cook it. These are the type of dates that evolves not only into some incredible culinary experience, but also where the dessert is quite tasty.
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 100
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 8/19/2012 8:44:54 AM
Thursday night after work lets out best time to meet guys. Although they shop in pairs. Weird. girls go to bathroom in pairs, guys food shop in pairs. I go my line ready. Are you boys buy one get one free?
 inkibaludo2
Joined: 3/17/2013
Msg: 101
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 4/12/2013 5:25:38 PM
Fate? WTF? Fate?! What planet are we on here? Hollywood? Okay, sorry, this is going to hurt, here's the truth: There are no magical imaginary forces at work. Winged babies with bow & arrows don't exist either.

Wow, seriously, she's let the "husband" word "slip-out"?! Can someone be that clueless? Uh...no. That's no slip. You weren't getting the hint so she basically had to bluntly tell you. You're lucky she didn't tell you to bleep-off.

When I'm grocery shopping and there's a hot woman with a cart, I tell myself, "hey, nice lookin' lady. She eats healthy. Nice...and she doing her groceries." That's it!

I buy my groceries, leave her alone and get on my merry way.

Trust me, if a woman wants you, it will be obvious.
 Elsadora
Joined: 3/29/2013
Msg: 102
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 4/12/2013 7:29:26 PM
The single worst date I ever had was a guy I met at the grocery store. Never again!
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 103
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 4/12/2013 7:51:27 PM
^^^^^^ oh brother!
don't blame the grocery store! thats like saying only losers and jerks buy food.
You don't know where your potiential soul mate will be
 Elsadora
Joined: 3/29/2013
Msg: 104
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 4/12/2013 8:34:00 PM
^^^^^^ oh brother!
"don't blame the grocery store! thats like saying only losers and jerks buy food.
You don't know where your potiential soul mate will be"

You are probably right, my perv-dar wasn't as fully developed as it is now.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 105
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 4/12/2013 9:15:12 PM
Finding dates in a grocery store is simple really. Hang out in the produce section, watch for the women who are admiring a very large cucumber just a little too much then, make your move. This technique could also apply to those in the meat section, fondling sausages.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 106
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 11/18/2013 10:37:45 AM

Trust me, if a woman wants you, it will be obvious.

I have to strongly disagree with that. Especially in places like a grocery store. It's not a setting to pick up chicks, or a place many women, when scoping the scenery with their eyes would want to be picked up by a guy who they find kinda cute. Most are not in the mode to pick up or to be picked up by the opp-sex in grocery stores.

There's also going to be limited opportunities to approach without coming off as creepy. The checkout isle, commonly, would be the only safe haven, IMO. Going up to a gal in the bread isle and trying to generate conversation out of nowhere, unless she was single while thinking you were gorgeous, would think you're probably trying to sell her something or pulling a dumba$$ pickup.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 107
Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 11/18/2013 7:11:55 PM
^^^
So I don't know her but I am attracted to her and I'm willing to take a chance to get her
therefore I'm Creepy! I can be polite, confident, and funny but still "stranger danger" I'm creepy.
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