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 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 51
Pictures of your ExPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

chocomamicita123
I think its weird unless you have family photos and they happen to be in them thats fine other than that whats the point the past is the past move on.


You're young and don't know what it's like to have more of your life behind you than in front of you. Go ahead and throw those memories away and when your old and looking back and your memory isn't what it use to be, you may just be wishing you weren't so careless then.

I sure wish we had taken more pictures when I was younger though I did get a bunch from my parents Estate. Some from my twenties I had forgotten all about.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 52
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:17:20 AM
just because you move on with your life doesnt mean you dont keep the memories, and pictures with you. i still have my old high school yearbooks and i moved on from that too. as long as those pics arent framed on a wall, but put up somewhere, it shouldnt be a concern.
 MDIYM59
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 53
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:06:36 AM


chocomamicita123
I think its weird unless you have family photos and they happen to be in them thats fine other than that whats the point the past is the past move on.




just because you move on with your life doesnt mean you dont keep the memories, and pictures with you.


Exactly, besides anyone who can't handle a picture of me and someone I truly loved and shared a large part of my life with is too insecure for me.
 Sensitive_Writer
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 54
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/30/2012 11:00:18 AM

Im just throwing this out there, but my old boyfriend had kept pictures of his Exwife. I felt odd having them in our apartment when we lived together. They weren't wedding pictures- thank goodness. But do you, yourselves keep old pictures of your ex wives or ex husbands? Or do you throw the pictures away and move on with your life?


There is absolutely nothing wrong with hanging on to photos of your exes. These people were a part of your life, at some point, and meant a great deal to you. So, as I said, there is nothing wrong with having them. However, if you put them on display, for everyone to see, that could pose a problem. It's probably best to keep them in an album or shoe box, as memories of the past.

I, personally, have several photos of my exes, but I will not put them on display for my "new" relationships to see. They are my own personal memories. And each one of my exes taught me something, either about them, or about myself...so, it's good to look back and remember exactly what it was the taught me.
 stoked4you
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 55
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/31/2012 8:18:24 AM
Pictures of me and my ex have been boxed up and stored for my kids.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 56
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/31/2012 8:40:17 AM
A lot of people responded by saying they're hanging onto pictures of their ex for their kids. This brings up the question: If there were no kids in the relationship, would you still hang onto the pictures of the ex? I get the feeling some would, regardless of the children status. I don't get it, but that's me.

Another question: Would you keep pictures of a person who was a FWB?
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 57
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/31/2012 9:38:47 AM

A lot of people responded by saying they're hanging onto pictures of their ex for their kids. This brings up the question: If there were no kids in the relationship, would you still hang onto the pictures of the ex? I get the feeling some would, regardless of the children status. I don't get it, but that's me.

Another question: Would you keep pictures of a person who was a FWB?


I never throw away any pictures. Why? It seems it would take more effort to go through and eliminate only certain ones that have people that are no longer part of your life...

The important thing is that they are all a part of your past.

And I would wonder why someone would feel a "need" to eliminate that if they have really moved on.

I have recently been looking through my high school photos for images of my sister and I and came across a few boyfriends... I'm so glad I didn't throw them away! How funny to see those funny clothes and that love-sick juvenile expression on my innocent face.

I bet in 20-30 years I'll be thinking exactly the same thing about whatever I may have now :)
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/31/2012 10:00:47 AM
I keep ALL of my old photos, whether of exes or anything else, but don't display any with an ex. They are part of my history, and one never knows if they may matter to me or to someone else (such as my son) someday.
 Purple.orchid61
Joined: 7/23/2012
Msg: 59
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/31/2012 11:53:48 AM

I have a few pictures of my ex in which he is with the children. They are in photos albums along with other photos of my children as they have grown. If at some stage in the future, the children want them, then at least they are there


i agree, the pictures from the past is just not just mine, it includes our children , my ex and my in-laws whom I happen to be on good terms with . As long as i dont display them and gaze at his picture fondly, i dont see the harm in holding on to them for my kids.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 60
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/31/2012 1:25:50 PM
The only ex-husband pictures I kept were my kids' dad. And I recently divided those and gave them to my kids, along with wedding pictures or other evidence that at one time their mom and dad really did love each other.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 61
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/31/2012 7:48:39 PM
changingtides- He just had them or kept them hanging up? There's a big difference.
I still have a lot of photos that my ex are in because my children are in them.
I don't display them, but I keep them because I'm not going to throw away pictures of my children just because he's in them.
If I were to want to hang them up, I would take him out of the photo.
If I found myself wondering why someone kept pictures that were ONLY of their ex, I would just ask why.
If that is why you ended the relationship, you may have ended a good thing by over thinking it, jmo.
Btw- I also kept SOME of the things he gave me, not because he gave them to me, it just seemed silly to throw away something I liked just because it came from him.
 strolly10
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 62
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/31/2012 8:40:27 PM
My ex had pictures of his ex wife displayed all over his house. He said he had them up for his children which he had custody of and i accepted that with no problem, but he did remove a few for me to feel more comfortable in his home (not by my request)..so in some situations its understandable.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 63
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 8/1/2012 2:00:09 AM

Brian88888
I threw all the old pics away since there really is no reason to have them around.


You're 28 and feel that way now, you might feel different about it in 30 years or so. I was lucky and after my parents died a few years ago, we found a lot of old pictures when cleaning out their house. Those pictures are more important to me at this age than they were at your age.
 beachielife
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:30:37 PM
This thread reminds me of when I dated this very bright woman, law degree, intellectual...

After we've been dating a bit, she asks, "Why do you keep a picture of your ex on your refrigerator?", in an accusing tone. I said, "Um, maybe because it's that's my son's mom?" Geez, my ex was a raving nutcase with a drug problem, which is why I was a single parent—LOL—the pic wasn't for me. I guess you'd have to visualize all the refrigerator magnets pinning pictures of my two kids, art they did in school, etc. Anyway, that was surprisingly unobservant of her, or maybe the innate dislike of any symbol of an ex in a mate's household overwhelmed her common sense ;-)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 65
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 8/1/2012 7:36:32 PM

Behind-Blue-Eyes_53:
You're 28 and feel that way now, you might feel different about it in 30 years...Those pictures are more important to me at this age than they were at your age.


Are you referring to the stage in life when you start getting Alzheimer's and forgot that you're divorced and haven't had contact with any ex for the past 30, 35 years, and you're sitting by the door, expecting her to show up any minute? I don't understand the reasoning of pictures of an ex being more important 30 years later. I trashed all pictures of my ex, and I can guarantee that I will still have no interest in having pictures of her in 30 days, 30 months or 30 years from now. And I'm sure she would be of the same mindset concerning pictures of me, which she never had any to begin with. All photo albums were left behind when she moved out, including photo albums of her family, which she has made no effort to retrieve.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 66
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:49:21 PM
Well I now have pictures of 6 generations on my Mom's side and the family history going back 20 generations. I will pass it on to my children. Some people don't care but sometimes their kids or grand kids do care and it's all lost. It doesn't take up that much room and once it's gone, you can't get it back. I am lucky that those in the past marked the backs of the pictures of who and when it was taken.

maleman999, again you show you're an angry bitter little man, but your rant is like water off a ducks back and you can go back to your angry bitter little world.
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 12/2/2012 6:51:57 AM
What about if your partner has pictures of their ex hanging in their old bedroom in their parents house that they visit frequently enough ie whenever they go home? I didn't feel any threat (until now at least)...as far as I recall it's quite a few years ago now and they split on good terms but I found it odd to discover last night that he still has 2 of her pictures hanging on his pin board in his old bedroom in his parents house....we were there yesterday for dinner....

Then again I've held on to a few teddy bears and throws and stuff from exes........Comparable or is having pictures on your bedroom wall even in your parents house, holding on to the past?
 freshstartbraveheart
Joined: 11/9/2012
Msg: 68
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 12/2/2012 7:23:07 AM
I only have pictures of my ex because he is the father of my children and they were pictures we took of memories/good times when our family was still in tact. I'm not going to get rid of them but they hold no sentimental value to me. I'm keeping them for my kids and when they're old enough, they can have them for themselves.

I don't really see the big deal of holding onto old photos or other items from the past - so long as you're not creating a shrine to your former lover. :D Maybe you keep them for memories and reminiscing on your past or maybe you just like whatever the thing is. Personally, I have a sweater that's 10+ years old that a different ex gave to me. It's not sentimental, I just happen to like the sweater. After over a decade, it's still in good shape and in style so I wear it in the winter. I have practical items such as a computer desk that were gifted to me from you children's father over the years. I'm not getting rid of them just because the relationship is over. I need somewhere to place my laptop!
 ggpaws
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 69
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 12/2/2012 11:52:13 AM
As I have a love for photography I keep all my pictures. I still have all my wedding albums packed away. My past is who I am and I have no problem with someone keeping their pics either. Now if someone I was in a relationship with kept a pic of their ex on the nightstand may not like it too much. Also let me add those "private time" pics from our youth need to be destroyed.
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 70
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 12/2/2012 12:12:34 PM

A picture is just a picture... a remembrance of past events..If someone is bothered by a picture then they have serious emotional issues.


Nope you are actually dead wrong on this one.. if you cannot remove what isn't you are invested in what isn't... there is psychics and physiological and psychological evidence to prove otherwise..

In a broken marriage it is best to keep the pictures put away for your children so that they may have the pictures of their relationship with their parents.. in the case with out children only if the relationship ended due to the loss of the individual by death.. if you had a union that dissolved because you were poison to each other.. then it is best to destroy them.. there is alot to be gained in letting go by getting rid of this, you'd be surprised how much healing takes place when there is a tangible effort to removing the momentos .. if you ended a relationship of value why?
Anyone who displays the relationship is telling you that there is still a visual and emotional attachment going on and a sign that anyone who would want to invest in you as a possible significant other should run.. even with losing a partner to death.. therapy helps an individual release this person from themselves and shelve a wonderful love story to move on to be present and alive and to accept that they still deserve the right to be alive and loved and permit themselves this act of joy in living.

Pictures of people who did not hold their truth are false documents of relationships that had no value.. and are not really a healthy thing for anyone to covet.. again you would be surprised what amazing things happen to the human psyche when we disclose this dissolution via the release of pictures of past relationships that are not of value to our history or our journey of connection.. which is why many remain stuck by keeping documentation of poison.. it is both organic and spiritual damage .. when we move away from anything on a physical level in time and space we create new movement .. cellular and chemical .. no matter if you believe you will not release and experience the remorse necessary to move on.. your body and mind will do it for you... even if you think you think otherwise.. try it.. you will be surprised at what occurs in your being when you decide to live only in the present.

My take is never based on personal opinion.. this is actual organic fact.. and serious emotional issues arise from not allowing the physical release of something that no longer exists in the life you lead.. I don't need an argument on this .. just try the exercise and you will find out how profound this actually becomes for the being you call YOU..
 wisewoman_57
Joined: 10/12/2009
Msg: 71
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 12/2/2012 2:17:46 PM
I agree totally with this, although not everyone realizes it, or if they do, are afraid to act on it. It is very therapeutic in some situations.
I've been fortunate enough not to have had any relationships that were so traumatizing that I'd want to erase any visible evidence of them. There have been broken hearts, sure, but nothing even resembling 'hate'.
Because of this, I've not thrown out anything that wouldn't have been discarded otherwise, any more than I'd discard photos or things that remind me of friendships with females that no longer exist. It's all part of our personal history, a chronology.
But, I did go out with a guy who had a virtual shrine of an ex girlfriend Cheryl, in his apartment. Right on his entertainment center, front & center in the living room. A photo of her, one of the both of them, a dried flower, little doodads from places they went--it was bizarre enough, but then he told me that they only went out for 6 months (!). I'm a reasonable person, so I stuck it out because there were a lot of things about him I liked, and this was in the beginning. A few months later, I was helping him straighten his bedroom closet, and he handed me a large box to take out. He then told me that the box contained what he wanted to be buried with, should anything happen to him. It kind of creeped me out already, but then he decided to show me what it was 'just in case'. Aside from some family photos and mementos, there was a woman's sweater. It was Cheryl's which she left at his apartment when she broke up with him--8 years earlier. That, along with several other things that came to light in the year we were together, was the beginning of the end for me.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 72
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 12/2/2012 6:26:41 PM
I kept a paper body target of my ex-husband that I shot the shit out of.

I'm a good shot.
 Love.Notes
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 73
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 12/2/2012 6:31:01 PM
I personally wouldn't put them up on the wall for all the see, but because I have children with my ex husband I keep them. For their sake more so then mine. His picture does not bring out any bad memories for me. They don't open any old wounds nor do they bring out any hatred for him. The children love their father and for that reason alone the pictures remain up! My ex however did the total opposite. He won't allow (or should I say his wife won't allow ) my name to even be mentioned in the house. We don't have that rule here. We still laugh at the fun things or silly things or good times we had with Dad and I'm never going to take that away from my children. He is their father, and if they want to have a picture of him in the house, on the fridge, in their rooms then so be it. Once they have grown and left home...that's a different matter.

Then they will be well packed and stored to be remembered no more.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 74
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 12/2/2012 8:22:48 PM
I have pictures of a lot of people from my past. I expect someone I'm dating to have pictures of people as well. If we're framing pictures and keeping them by the bed, I can see the problem. In albums, or packed away with everything else is fine. It's totally possible to both keep old pictures of exes, friends, family or anyone else, and still move on with your life.
 Warrior_Poet74
Joined: 10/22/2012
Msg: 75
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 12/3/2012 9:29:19 PM
I deleted my ex from my pics before the tears were even dry on my cheeks.
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