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 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 115
Religion and datingPage 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

When was the last time an atheist banged on your door or stood on a street corner handing out litter trying to
convince you their way was the right way?


I lived with one. Just like there's Christians that think they're right and are trying to save you from the wrong choice, there's atheists doing the same thing (not like most Christians in the US even know what they're supposed to believe...)

You want to see the reality of internet atheists? Go to a forum site, or an answers site, and just ask for an explanation of what Christians or Muslims believe. Watch how many atheists go out of their way to find those threads and questions just so that they can relentlessly attack the religion.

It's not the religious or the atheists that are the problem, it's the one's who feel that the entire world needs to know their belief and share that belief. And who's doing it is pretty equal between both sides.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 116
view profile
History
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/2/2014 4:28:14 PM
Everytime I go shopping in December, the stores employees all seem to be Ministers, Priests, and Deacons


Where are you shopping?!?!? I am over 50 & love to shop. I have never, ever, not even one time, encountered a priest working at a store. As a matter of fact, I'm fairly certain that priests do not have jobs, other than being priests. Ministers, deacons, perhaps, although I've never seen nor heard of one working in retail.

I suspect you have no other way to try to make your point. Just sayin'.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 117
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:16:45 AM

You want to see the reality of internet atheists? Go to a forum site, or an answers site, and just ask for an explanation of what Christians or Muslims believe. Watch how many atheists go out of their way to find those threads and questions just so that they can relentlessly attack the religion.


Why would I do that?
I'm talking about in my day to day life.
You can go online and find a group to argue just about anything with.
I didn't say there aren't argumentative and radical atheists.
I said I don't see them in my day to day life and they've never knocked on my door.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 118
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/3/2014 9:30:49 AM

It's a date. The whole point is to get to know each other. Take a breather, go on the date, both enjoy urselves, and if the topic comes up, then be honest. UR not marrying the person, yet or at all. It's a date. It's meant to be fun and relaxing! Do that: have fun and relax!
I suppose that's fantastic if all you're doing is playing some sort of numbers game and/or taking up anyone who would ask you out or accept your invitation to a date.

Personally, I don't see the point if I know from the get-go that there are non starters and deal breakers.

I was going to meet someone recently, but in nearly every conversation he brought up christianity, asking me what I think about this concept and that concept. To be honest? I could care less. I speak his language with ease, but he couldn't speak mine, so what's the point?
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 119
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/3/2014 3:02:27 PM
I celebrate Christmas, and have no problems saying grace, I am easy going.

The red flag for me is pretty basic, as a Christian do you believe in the bible and the New Testament?

If you do, then you should not have sex outside of marriage.

I think the attitude that you are sinning every time we have sex causes guilt and repression, and I would rather not deal with people that are acting against their own faith.

To me, either stay celibate until marriage, or change religions.

The New Testament teaches that sex is reserved for marriage. It calls sex outside of marriage the sin of adultery (for the married person) if either sexual participant is married to another person, while it calls voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons the sin of fornication.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_views_on_marriage
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 120
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/3/2014 3:24:03 PM
I was going to meet someone recently, but in nearly every conversation he brought up christianity, asking me what I think about this concept and that concept. To be honest? I could care less. I speak his language with ease, but he couldn't speak mine, so what's the point?


I most agree.

Whenever somebody insists I need Jesus and God, I give them the same, canned retort of who is trying to convince whom that God exists. If I know (feel) it exists and it exists heartedly in my heart, I wouldn't need to advertise it. My joy is my own. If I help somebody with this joy, it's because I love. I don't need their beliefs or belief in God to be motivated to love and care and express generosity. Without God, there is nothing motivating me to do kindly things other than the sheer joy of doing them. (See, I get something out of it, too. There is no way out of being a passive beneficiary for the good ones does, so this act of human selflessness to me is really non-existent, but it's okay!) I do this with the consent of the receiving parties, without expecting granted passage to the unknown when my body expires. Providing any such afterlife actually exists. It doesn't mean I'm better; it just means that I don't expect approval from an elusive deity nobody can seem to find.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 121
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/3/2014 4:46:41 PM
Eternityboresme- Absolutely great post!
THIS is a powerful statement in the kind of goodness that can (and does) exist in people who aren't religious.
Being non religious doesn't mean that you are "anti" religion, it just means that you don't need the "worship/forgiveness/guilt" aspect that drives SOME religious people.
If I'm helping someone or forgiving someone or just good to someone, it's because I know and feel that it is what I want to do and to do otherwise would go against who I am as a person.
Being good or being kind isn't exclusive to religious people.
I went shopping with my daughter and my youngest son a little while ago. When we were leaving, there was an elderly woman who dropped her bag and her things went all over the floor. Before I could do anything, my son stopped in his tracks and started picking up her food and putting it back in the bag. The woman actually teared up and thanked him, she also told me what a great son I have. I was so proud of him in that moment. We don't go to church, we aren't religious, but I have taught them about what it means to be a good person without it.
That's what life is really about, doing the right thing just because it's the right thing to do. :)
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 122
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:29:47 PM

Whenever somebody insists I need Jesus and God, I give them the same, canned retort of who is trying to convince whom that God exists. If I know (feel) it exists and it exists heartedly in my heart, I wouldn't need to advertise it. My joy is my own. If I help somebody with this joy, it's because I love. I don't need their beliefs or belief in God to be motivated to love and care and express generosity. Without God, there is nothing motivating me to do kindly things other than the sheer joy of doing them.


I seem to remember reading somewhere that being good in the interest of saving one's self from the fire, will not save you from anything...though I forgot what book that was....
I think that's where a lot of formal religions have it screwed up. You shouldn't do good things to impress anyone but yourself.

In any case, I completely agree with this entire statement. If the world had more people with this attitude I think it would be a better place. Regardless of religious belief.
 pureandsimple4172
Joined: 5/2/2014
Msg: 123
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:47:12 PM
What religion should they change to that is okay with premarital sex and adultery??
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 124
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/4/2014 6:42:49 AM

What religion should they change to that is okay with premarital sex and adultery??


Buddhist don't class sex as a sin, so there is no requirement you need to be married. I don't know what they think about adultery, I personally long age decided not to get involved with anyone else if I am married, so it's moot to me.

Buddhist are mostly about not doing anything to excess, which seems reasonable to me.
 pureandsimple4172
Joined: 5/2/2014
Msg: 125
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/4/2014 7:38:29 AM
That way of life appears to be working out great for Thailand and the other Buddhist countries. Buddhist societies are the ones we should be modeling ourselves after.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 126
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/4/2014 8:33:59 AM

Buddhist don't class sex as a sin, so there is no requirement you need to be married. I don't know what they think about adultery
Actually, one of the precepts within Buddhism is to not practice sexual misconduct..

I undertake the rule of training to refrain
from killing living creatures.
I undertake the rule of training to refrain
from taking what is not given.
I undertake the rule of training to refrain
from wrong conduct in sexual pleasures.

I undertake the rule of training to refrain
from false speech.
I undertake the rule of training to refrain
from distilled and fermented intoxicants which are the
occasion for carelessness.


These precepts are the basic and minimal observance of moral conduct by a Buddhist. They are designed to restrain him from making bad karma in speech and body and to serve as the basis for further growth in the Dhamma.
http://www.vipassana.com/resources/the_5_precepts.php

While it doesn't specify marriage, sex outside of a committed and loving relationship (to just 'get off') is generally frowned upon in Buddhist circles.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 127
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/4/2014 9:19:29 AM

While it doesn't specify marriage, sex outside of a committed and loving relationship (to just 'get off') is generally frowned upon in Buddhist circles.


Was there ever a logical reason given why it's frowned upon? That question applies to any religion that frowns upon sex being used for pleasure. I don't like following rules and regulations unless I know why I am following those rules. If someone tells me sex is only allowed for breeding purposes and should never be for fun, they better come up with a good, logical reason why I should think the same way.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 128
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/4/2014 9:32:17 AM
Well I can't speak for an entire religion, but using another's body as a masturbatory tool isn't a long term 'feel good' strategy of mine. There are strings attached to and negative effects of such things as anyone browsing through these here forums can clearly see. Not to mention the energetics involved, but that's a whole other topic in and of itself, and not everyone sees past the mere physical.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 130
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 11:27:57 AM

While it doesn't specify marriage, sex outside of a committed and loving relationship (to just 'get off') is generally frowned upon in Buddhist circles.


So does that mean sex just to get off is OK within a loving relationship? :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It really depends on how sexual misconduct is defined. No where do I see committed relationships mentioned as needed to indulge in sexual pleasure.

Noble Eightfold Path

He does not take, in the manner of a thief, things in a village or a wilderness that belong to others and have not been given by them. Abandoning sensual misconduct, he abstains from sensual misconduct. He does not get sexually involved with those who are protected by their mothers, their fathers, their brothers, their sisters, their relatives, or their Dhamma; those with husbands, those who entail punishments, or even those crowned with flowers by another man. This is how one is made pure in three ways by bodily action.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noble_Eightfold_Path

In Theravada Buddhism, they advocate the middle way, moderation between the extremes of sensual indulgence and self-mortification, not to become addicted to the indulgence of sense-pleasures.

Since I already believe in moderation, and the range between the extremes of sensual indulgence and self-mortification is very large, these principals are easy for me to accept.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 131
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 12:16:56 PM

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, god gets quite irate.


We do have indeed quite an angry god. Not only that, but every spring we have an angry god because trees throw their sexual code into the air in the form of pollen, and if you've lived in the South, you've seen streets and streamed covered in Yellow, tree sperm. Ad to that the million upon millions of teenagers around the world that the moment the discover their own sexuality put their right hand to hard work. So does that mean that the only masturbatory work that would not irrate the wrath of god is women masturbating?
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 132
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 12:47:43 PM

We do have indeed quite an angry god. Not only that, but every spring we have an angry god because trees throw their sexual code into the air in the form of pollen, and if you've lived in the South, you've seen streets and streamed covered in Yellow, tree sperm. Ad to that the million upon millions of teenagers around the world that the moment the discover their own sexuality put their right hand to hard work. So does that mean that the only masturbatory work that would not irrate the wrath of god is women masturbating?


The images you put in my head are...odd...
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 133
view profile
History
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 12:58:05 PM
^^^^ I was thinking more along the lines of greasy creepy.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 134
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 1:23:35 PM

Since I already believe in moderation, and the range between the extremes of sensual indulgence and self-mortification is very large, these principals are easy for me to accept.
Yeah, there's some wiggle room with the whole sexual misconduct precept, but then.. there is within christianity and other religions too. You see it all the time. So pick your poison, or not.. as the case may be.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 135
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 1:57:52 PM

The images you put in my head are...odd...


Now that is funny!!
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 136
view profile
History
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 2:27:26 PM
What's even funnier is to see someone living in the fictional world they've created for themselves, and posting intimate details of their fantasies on every thread here that would appear to them to be appropriate to that end.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 137
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 2:54:58 PM

What's even funnier is to see someone living in the fictional world they've created for themselves, and posting intimate details of their fantasies on every thread here that would appear to them to be appropriate to that end.


You deem it unfathomable.

Little do you know. LOL.
 Supersoulson
Joined: 10/21/2014
Msg: 138
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 3:08:06 PM
Well OP, to answer your question …. I don’t mean to brag but I used to date the most gorgeous women on the planet every night and they couldn’t get enough of me, what can I say ? But then I found the most AMAZING woman, and of course it should go without saying but I just can’t resist letting you know that yes, she is one of the most gorgeous woman on the planet ! Not only that but she wants it constantly ! And of course, I am able to give it to her constantly because I am so amazing !

So, in conclusion OP, I think you should just ask her how strong her religious convictions are.

heheh heh
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 139
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 3:40:44 PM

Yeah, there's some wiggle room with the whole sexual misconduct precept, but then.. there is within Christianity and other religions too. You see it all the time. So pick your poison, or not.. as the case may be.


In reality, there is no wiggle room in any of the mainstream religions in Christianity, at least the ones that I investigated. Within the Catholic Church, even oral sex in a marriage is a sin since this sex act is done solely for pleasure and precludes any possibility of procreation. I suppose the "wiggle room" is you can engage in sexual intercourse after menopause, since it's possible by divine intervention to get pregnant. And oral sex as foreplay is acceptable as long it is only foreplay and doesn't result in an orgasm.

People just ignore the parts of their religion they don't want to follow. IE: cafeteria Christians. But I think most just adopt a don't ask policy, and the pastors tend not to get into any detail about what the rules actually are. Leaving most people to assume they know.

You can also "sin" and resolve not to "sin" again, but if you intending to "sin" again then your confession doesn't count.

But I know the reality, since I was more than commonly involved with the Catholic Church.

You see, my ex-wife was raised by Catholic nuns, we had many nuns over as house guests, priest would say mass in our house, she worked a the Parish rectory, and also cared for a 95 year old priest as he died.

I have chatted with more than a few about Canon law.

After we got a divorce, she applied for an annulment, I was assigned a canon advocate, there was a diocesan tribunal. Sort of like a legal trial, but I didn't have to attend in person. She wanted the annulment so that she could be free to become a Catholic nun. I supported this, I thought she would be happiest as a nun, and she did get the annulment.

I doubt most people are as serious about their religion as was my ex-wife, so I would date a christian, but I wouldn't date anyone that raised the issue in their profile.

It's not absolute deal breaker, but all things considered, my preference was to date those not raised with a Christian worldview.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 140
Religion and dating
Posted: 11/5/2014 6:08:24 PM
Was there ever a logical reason given why it's frowned upon? That question applies to any religion that frowns upon sex being used for pleasure. I don't like following rules and regulations unless I know why I am following those rules. If someone tells me sex is only allowed for breeding purposes and should never be for fun, they better come up with a good, logical reason why I should think the same way.


Marriage was different a couple thousand years ago. A woman was basically owned by her father. That's where the whole idea of a dowry comes in, you're buying the girl from the father to marry her, which essentially made her your property. If you had sex with a girl you weren't married to, fine, but you owed her father the cost of a virgin. That's why it was looked down on, because if you're not married to her, you're decreasing her value. Today, where both the men and women get their choice of who to marry, and dowry's don't really exist anymore, this idea sounds ridiculous and controlling. 1-2,000 years ago, you didn't have sex outside of marriage because that meant you were having sex with a woman that wasn't yours. (Yeah, this is how far women's equality has come)

Adultery was most likely looked down on by all the religions back then based mainly on the fact that by definition, at the time, adultery was specifically sex with another man's wife. That was the only possible criteria for adultery. If you were married and had sex with a girl that wasn't, fine... But now you probably owe her father food, animals, or money. If you were a married woman, by definition adultery was impossible.

These topics are tough because we're looking at the world 2,000 years ago as the world that it is today. We quote religion to claim that everyone is equal, yet equality and freedom for women is less than 100 years old in most of the world. In some countries, they still work the same way... Arranged marriages, buying your wife, etc., except now, women get to enjoy freedom and choices in life, but while still holding on to old traditions. We also LOVE to misquote things that are said in religion. We quote a single line, ignoring the 2 page long story that puts a specific context to it.

Sex was OK, just understand what sex with a random girl probably meant.
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