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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Define a healthy relationship      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 18
Define a healthy relationshipPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
you think of her first...she thinks of you first. No decisions are made until you both agree it is right for you both. If you don't agree then you choose an alternative.

You pay attention to her likes and dislikes. She pays attention to yours.

Neither of you takes the other for granted. If you find yourself looking at another woman for any reason what so ever, then you understand there is a problem in your relationship...don't act on the "woman of the moment."

Go talk to your woman as soon as you realize an attraction outside of your relationship. Tell her the truth, whether she likes it or not about what you feel. It doesn't matter what your problem is...sex, emotional support, too much anger, depressive life, not enough activity....let her know that if things don't change then you can't be in her life and she can't be in yours. You have to be grown about your conversations and be real about them. Never have this conversation unless you are ready to back up what you say. Do let her know you are being attracted to other women and why. She has the right to "make things right" or to leave. But you should never have an affair. It disrespects you, her and the relationship.

Everything I said to you about her applies to her about you.

This is how I look at life with a partner.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 12:11:51 PM
Treating others the way you want to be treated, and showing with actions and not just words, that you are respected, cared about, and an equal in the relationship.....in every way.....not just the ways you want it to be.

cd
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 20
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 12:38:08 PM
Nobody is perfect. Life throws you plenty of ups and downs, some times those are emotional, sometimes those are financial, other times health. To me a healthy relationship is one that moves through all these terrains with love, cooperation and understanding. There are people that are always in conflict, always drowning in a glass of water while there are others that even in the worst of events seem to be pulling through helping each other. That is what a healthy relationship is. Ones that has commitments to give it a try. One where both make time for each other and try to understand what it is that the other person needs to FEEL LOVED. It is one where both are aware of each other's sexual desires and works on ways to keep that passion going, particularly after the honey moon state is over. A healthy relationship is one where both are also friends and can communicate without reproach.

Now if all this sounds a little utopian we then need to realize that most people come from dysfunctional families, have our own neurosis, pet peeves, idiosyncrasies that are not going to give up and your partner at some point will want to change from you.

A big problem that many couples make, is that once they enter into the relationship, they start trying to change the other into something that the other does not want. So they start to live through resentment and unmatched expectations.

Anyway, what do I know. What do we know. Most people here are experts at the relationships that did not work than the ones that work, including myself.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 21
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 1:34:17 PM
^^^ I do that all by myself now and to date, it's the best relationship I've had ! LMAO
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 22
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 2:25:31 PM
Its one where your mother is not meddling in it....................................................
 ChocoMamicita123
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 23
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 2:42:38 PM

^^^ I do that all by myself now and to date, it's the best relationship I've had ! LMAO

lol thats exactly what I was thinking
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 24
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 3:26:48 PM

Do you think the general definition will differ between men and women?


I don't think the general definition differs as many posters here have posted similar answers.

What I do think may differ is how each gender carries out these definitions.

I.e., men may tend to show their affection through means of doing things rather than just verbalizing it ... whilst women may tend to want to actually hear their man verbalize his emotions than just doing things to validate it. .. And yes, this may not apply to everyone, but just very generally speaking .......

We may want to be loved a certain way ... or have an ideal way of how we want to be treated in order to feel loved .... our s/o may have a different way of how he/she actually SHOWS that. .... ... Obviously, it's vital that both ppl understand, acknowledge and appreciate their S/O's way of conveying that affection ...


~ JMO
 badboy_transformed
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 25
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 3:44:50 PM

I went through a series of bad relationships, until I realized how all the feminist stuff was crap.

A good relationship takes gender roles.

As a man, you need to care for and PROVIDE for your woman. **** her government indoctrinated taxpayer funded fake job that produces nothing (ie. social worker, teacher, bureaucrat, etc...). A good woman wants her man to take care of her in the sense that men do. Be a man - be part of building society and moving humanity forward, and take care of your woman.

As a woman, you respect that men are who built this world, and you respect the work he does and how he provides for you. You take care of the home, cook him meals and raise his children. Despite what the media has told you ladies - THIS WILL BRING YOU HAPPINESS. Ask my woman.


This is a load of crap. It has nothing to do with gender roles. It has to do with three simple things.

1. Trust
2. Communication
3. Sex

All three must be in good standing. It doesnt matter who makes more, or who does the dishes, clean, cook, build, whatever.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 26
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 3:52:36 PM
Where both people are getting their needs met to some degree, respect, trust and the ability to keep ones resentments at a low, in order to keep the chemistry
On the upside.
If one can keep a toll of the good things regularly and commit to resolve the bad it should stay loving for a long time.
 pfif
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 27
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 4:58:27 PM
I'm not sure I've seen one of those up close.

Boundaries, thrift, appropriate ambition, conformity to one another,
compromise, dignity, forbearance, focus, gratitude, latitude, attitude,
faith, hope, justice, love, admiration, nurture, nutrition, exertion,
caution, awareness, tranquility, strength, solidity, frugality, erudition,
knowledge, pacing and timing, joy, experience, nobility, humanity,
empathy, sobriety, continence (self-restraint), care and carefulness,
order and organization, cleanliness, warmth, clarity, vigilance, stamina,
harmony, thoroughness, wit, humour, sorrow and contrition, mindfulness,
diligence, vision, placement, consciousness, kindness, virility and
vitality, courage, wisdom, patience, tolerance and compassion all play
some role, in some sort of balance.

So I suppose.

_____
Didn't have time to sort and mark-up as I might have liked. Posted in haste!
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/14/2012 6:48:52 PM
I hadn't read all the replies but I guess you and I think alike Spitfireee.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 29
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:18:15 AM

A big problem that many couples make, is that once they enter into the relationship, they start trying to change the other into something that the other does not want. So they start to live through resentment and unmatched expectations.


I would agree that this is a problem. Living in the moment (preached in the Power of Now mentioned in the previous post) can help people avoid the problems that lead to unhealthiness in relationships. Many of us have a difficult time truly bonding and committing to another human being because we have these insecurities and fears deep within us, and as people get closer--those fears become triggered.

So to me, a healthy relationship involves trusting enough to let yourself become completely exposed and accepting your partner's deeper fears as well.

Rocking each other's world in the bedroom is pretty important too.
 FairlyAlright
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 30
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:40:13 AM
I would say a healthy relationship is one in which you feel better about yourself for being in it, and you feel positively toward the person you're with - and the other person feels the same way mutually.

This can take many forms though, not all of them "healthy" in the conventional sense.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 31
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:51:50 AM

Posted By: Ancap420 on 7/14/2012 1056 AM
Subject: Define a healthy relationship
Message: I went through a series of bad relationships, until I realized how all the feminist stuff was crap.

A good relationship takes gender roles.

As a man, you need to care for and PROVIDE for your woman. **** her government indoctrinated taxpayer funded fake job that produces nothing (ie. social worker, teacher, bureaucrat, etc...). A good woman wants her man to take care of her in the sense that men do. Be a man - be part of building society and moving humanity forward, and take care of your woman.

As a woman, you respect that men are who built this world, and you respect the work he does and how he provides for you. You take care of the home, cook him meals and raise his children. Despite what the media has told you ladies - THIS WILL BRING YOU HAPPINESS. Ask my woman.


hahahahahahahaha. Good one.
 BlackJacket87
Joined: 4/13/2010
Msg: 32
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:15:19 PM
She won't kill me, steal from me, abuse me, or cheat on me . That's perfection. That's all anyone can ask for really.
 FairlyAlright
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 33
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:29:45 PM


I went through a series of bad relationships, until I realized how all the feminist stuff was crap.

A good relationship takes gender roles.

As a man, you need to care for and PROVIDE for your woman. **** her government indoctrinated taxpayer funded fake job that produces nothing (ie. social worker, teacher, bureaucrat, etc...). A good woman wants her man to take care of her in the sense that men do. Be a man - be part of building society and moving humanity forward, and take care of your woman.

As a woman, you respect that men are who built this world, and you respect the work he does and how he provides for you. You take care of the home, cook him meals and raise his children. Despite what the media has told you ladies - THIS WILL BRING YOU HAPPINESS. Ask my woman.


I'd love to, and if you ever let her out of that pit in your basement, I will.
 BlooFlame
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 3:38:20 PM
I most definitely agree with OutMind's post. Even the healthiest of relationships will struggle because life is hard and we're all imperfect.
I think communication, love, commitment, and a willingness to fix what is broken are major keys to health. Without any one of those things, the problems are downright glaring.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 35
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:46:57 PM
When both deal with each other openly and honestly.
When both communicate well(especially problems and issues).
and when both can do so with best intent towards the other.

If you can do all three you will have a healthy and happy relationship.
No matter what comes up.
 heypretty
Joined: 6/27/2012
Msg: 36
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:52:36 PM
i cook and clean and tend to the children. I work from home as a freelancer and my old man goes to work. I love him like his dog does. I give endless BJ's and sex anytime...except when kids are around or awake lol. God i love me
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 37
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:36:29 AM
Its' simple, really. If you have to come to PoF forums to question, complain, whine ,ask advice about situations that even Stevie Wonder could see are f**ked up- it AIN'T a healthy relationship.
Otherwise, as long as bloodshed is kept to a minimum( it stains the bystanders) and everyone carries out their own dead...it's all good.
I need more caffiene...or DO I?
Cindy O
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:36:58 PM
Healthy relationships do not take a lot of work because both parties are happy individually. You can disagree, not see eye to eye on all things, not have to explain yourself constantly and are free to pursue your own interests. Trust is a given. Healthy means you automatically give your partner the same level of respect you find in return. But most importantly you compliment each other's personalities and always treat each other with kindness.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 39
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:41:07 PM
Trust, communication, acceptance, and mutual respect. And understanding that it does take some effort, but not to the point of beating your head against the wall or trying to make a shoe that doesn't fit do so.
 Loverofliberty
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 40
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 12/27/2015 9:33:23 PM
oh no, not another self-righteous stefan molyneux follower mistaking all of his mommy issues for brilliant insight
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Define a healthy relationship