Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 WiseBurro
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 25
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercoursePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Try this technique: have him rub one out(on his own) a half hour before either of you start to make out or even take any clothes off;
Then, when he's had a chance to recover, turn him(and yourself) on- end result? The stamina he needs to make both of you have a session long enough to make both of you happy.
Stamina is a good start.
Good luck
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 26
view profile
History
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:51:41 AM
Chickens are able to peck and scratch for food from the moment they hatch.
Unfortunately, human sex isn't that easy. Like most activities, it must be learned and takes practice to be any good at it.

There are actual stories of young married couples, raised in very conservative, repressive households who needed a doctor to tell them how to get pregnant. They had no idea of what intercourse was.

I enjoy playing chess.
Playing chess is a lot more fun when you play with someone who's reasonably good at it too. It's also nice to have a partner who's enthusiastic and willing to learn.
But, a lot of people just don't care.

In Victorian times, sex was considered a duty rather than a fun recreation. Victorian wives were advised to " Lay back, close your eyes, and think of England ". It's amazing how many American women take this same approach today.

Everybody needs a good teacher.
If I hadn't had a good teacher in the beginning, I'd still probably be a virgin today.
 Phil_an_derer
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 27
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:54:01 AM
I grew up on a turtle farm....enough said!!! Slow and steady wins the race!....
 GuelphBossman
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 28
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:59:37 AM
Practice, practice, practice!!! And try not to emulate pornos, especially with the more, um, difficult positions. My back hurts just thinking about when I tried to be a porn star and ended up being a sack of injured flesh on the floor..... :(
 edzyy
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 29
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:14:03 PM
Haven't learned yet

Im still a virgin.
 bigcalm
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 30
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:31:44 PM
I learn by watching porn. When the passion is there you will do it right.
 BlooFlame
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 31
view profile
History
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 7/15/2012 6:15:15 PM
Please don't feel as if you need to put him through some sort of sexual boot camp because of an unfulfilling experience. Learning takes time , and he hasn't had any.

Be patient. Every man dreams of his first round of intercourse, but few imagine it will only last 30 seconds. I'd imagine he's not overly pleased with his performance and the last thing you both need is performance anxiety problems. Confidence is key. He's going to be overly excited at first. That's what happens to virgins, and eventually it ends , barring some sort of health issue. Then he'll be ( slightly) less obsessed with immediate intercourse and be able to focus on the other aspects of sex. He's also learning the ability to STOP before the point of no return, and, once again, focus on the other stuff.

An important issue here is that all women are not the same. Men cannot magically be "good at sex" because there isn't a knowledge bank that works for all of us I think men vastly overestimate the knowledge they receive from porn. Sure, you may learn a few slick moves, but they're worthless without the right foundation and knowing what your woman likes. Think about it...if porn was the magic key, we'd all be running to 18 year old boys and virgins for sexpertise. Not happening. You have to know what feels good to you and how to get it. Namely, mastrubation and loving direction to your bf. Good lovers want to please, which means they want to be led in the right direction. Marturbate. It's a good thing, and you can learn a lot. . :). When your bf seems to be getting too hot and heavy, switch things up and it'll slow him down. If you aren't using condoms, use them.

You don't need porn. Porn will only set up unrealistic expectations and give you new positions to be unfulfilled in. It'll also increase his stimulation, and that's the last thing you both need. No sharing. You've experienced first time sex with your bf. Imagine him repeating that 10 times. Think he would learn much?
My husband and I have been together since we were 17 and virgins. I was terribly let down by sex - media makes it look so amazing and magical from the first moment! Maybe for some it is, but I think it's unrealistic at your age. We grew up and learned together, and now we have a good ole time. :)
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 32
view profile
History
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:23:00 PM
Lovemaking is not just sex.... Get some books on Kama Sutra and Tantric Lovemaking
 sylvilagus aquaticus
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 33
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 7/15/2012 10:09:43 PM
I was 18 and a virgin. She was 17 and had a single earlier attempt at sex, but her boyfriend was not 'developed enough' to truly consummate the act. Yes, I'd seen Dad's stash of blue movies, so I had the mechanics somewhat straight in my head- all theory, no application, so to speak. She knew what went where, and why.

It was awkward, embarrassing, sweaty, frustrating, and in the retrospect of decades, hysterically funny for both of us. We kept trying over that summer and both figured we got pretty good at it with practice, as we practiced a lot. Evidently neither of us failed horribly in the long run as she now has five lovely children with her husband, and I've yet to be thrown out of a woman's bed for cause.
 puddin_boy
Joined: 7/8/2012
Msg: 34
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:26:59 PM
OK... I grew up on a farm so I learned the mechanics of intercourse from mother nature.
I would have to agree with the communication crowd here.
I find that I perform much better when my partner tells me what is doing the trick for her...
So great sex is a learned experience for each partner.
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 35
view profile
History
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/28/2012 1:34:01 PM
As far as 'Learning ~how~, my first gf ...who later became my 1st wife s h o w e d me how....

As far as ~Learning~ ...that came from my 2nd wifes teachings...
She taught me a L O T about the inner-workings of both the sharing process...and the Pleasing process that women like.
As much as I enjoyed her expertise in oral....she taught me that giving Back the same pleasure
was _Just_ as arousing as receiving it.
One of our first ~written~ records was during a session that lasted 142...and her having 14 climaxes . . .
while I had 4 of my own!
I never knew that men could be Multi-Orgasmic!!!
 Brodigy
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 37
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/28/2012 3:03:13 PM
The dog next door
 secret_fun669
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 38
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/28/2012 4:01:24 PM

hes not a virgin we've had sex once and it lasted 37 seconds lol


You've had sex once with a boyfriend you already knew was a virgin and are coming to complain already? Give the poor guy a break. Just be patient with him and tell him what you want him to do. Guide him and let him know what feels good for you and what doesn't.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 39
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/28/2012 4:04:57 PM
I have intellectually curiousity, so it just makes sense to me that if you are the least bit interested in something...grab a book and learn more about how to do it well. then grab another book, see if there's something new or something contradictory, and if the latter...figure out why its contradictory. can there be multiple ways of doing something right, and if so, why, or is there one way only? wherever you can find material, do what comes natural and get interested in it to want to read about it, ego be damned. that was before the internet existed :) now you don't have to hunt down "special" bookstores :) lol

how did I learn I was good? well, I paid attention to how others defined what good was, and said, "gee, do I do that?" then there was simply watching the reaction of my partner. if the sheets are sticking to her legs from all the fluids yet I'm wearing the condom, then I must have accomplished something. If we're still going at it at 3am, that could mean something good. if her friends come to visit for no reason a month after we've broken up, that could be a sign :)

a good lover is the one who pays attention to the other person--in that way alone, yes, its instinctual. women are different (I love love love the foreplay, but met a woman who was ready to go from the kiss, so all the foreplay did nothing but oversensitive her.oops), but generally speaking, many like to be brought to a slow boil--i'm thinking that song from the Pointer Sisters--and then they'll keep that passionate heat all night in the hands of a lover who simply pays attention to reaction and wants to be good at it, not just wants to get his gun off.

in the end, he may learn by you telling him what you like. tell it to him not as a lecture, but as a discussion of what you fantasize about. he may get turned on by it enough to try it, or he may get the point of , "oh, that's what I should be doing." either way, you could get the benefit of teaching him. and boy will you stick in his head as a result :)

luckily, you're halfway there, according to msg 27. wanting to be there, makes sex less mechanical. nothing wrong with wanting to raise the bar, if its possible to do so. and I think there's room to do so. like i said, communicate correctly about it. share it, don't teach it.
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 40
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:57:30 PM
It was the summer of 69
 freshstartbraveheart
Joined: 11/9/2012
Msg: 41
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/28/2012 11:27:44 PM
How do you know it was only 37 seconds? My goodness, did you time it? I'm sorry OP, but I can see you holding a stopwatch in hand during the act.... Either that or counting, "One-Mississippi... Two-Mississippi..." in your head. :P

I suggest you Google the Coolidge Effect. Virgin or not, a man will probably not last that long his first time having sex with you as he will after you've had sex several times. The more you have sex together, the less anxious/excited he'll be at the start of sex and the longer he'll be able to last.

What's "good" is also subjective. I saw a few guys mention learning how to be good in bed from porn. As a woman, that's a little disheartening. I'm not here to bash porn. It has it's place but the moves/techniques you see on screen don't necessarily equate to good sex anymore than does a romance movies translate to love in real life. There are things in those movies that would make my blood turn cold if someone touched me that way. Anyway, what feels good to you will not necessarily feel good to another woman so it's up to you to know what works for you and then help teach your man what works for YOU.
 Cavano
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 42
view profile
History
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/28/2012 11:33:19 PM
ok i learned to "fuqq well" from a relationship with an older woman . Instead of just ramming in and out , u could tell him to add some "swings & sways" .
You have to tell him when he is hitting the rights spots from the right angles of swinging.
In the missionary position he could try driving it in all the way while pressing his body down towards the bed, when deep enough press his body upwards ,bring it back to the edge and then repeat.
(That's one technique i learned and it works pretty much on anyone i used it on , u can go fast or slow however just remember the angle come from how his body is positioned )

Hope that helps.
 wildlifelover79
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 43
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/29/2012 6:56:41 AM
I learned it from Quagmire in Family Guy TV series!
 benjameson68
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 44
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/29/2012 11:42:32 AM
I first had sex at the age of 12 and continuously kept having sex all the way through high school so I learned by doing it often and with some women i did it with were experienced so I also learned some from them
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 45
view profile
History
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/30/2012 12:08:15 AM
Wow, after reading some of these replies and other similar posts over the years, I must have been a natural when it came to sex...lol. I love how the op states how we have a hard job...lol. I never try to look at it like a job. I prefer to think of the thrusting and so on more as an effort. Otherwise, if it were a job that means, the whole time the women should have been paying us! Not us paying them! The thrusting and different positions I've always thought of as very basic. But, you can learn variations sometimes from watching porn or reading up. Anyone here ever hear of the "Bad Girls Bible"?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 46
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 11/30/2012 7:02:46 AM
I was lucky that my indoctrination into sex and intimacy started at the age of 13. But it did not evolve into some great sex god, but rather one that was scared of what needed to be done. This actually worked incredibly well, because she was also very scared (she was 15) so we took it very slow and explored a lot.

After our split and for the majority of late teens and early twenties, sex was rather clumsy, more about scoring and giving a good bang, than taking time and enjoy the woman. It wasn't until I met the woman that became my wife that we explored again and took it to another level.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have been a much better lover, but that experience only comes with time, with having great partners, having so so partners and trying to understand the different people that you are with. I recently dated a woman that was horrible in bed. Nothing seemed to work, everything was a struggle. Then I met another woman that was so incredible, the communication between us was unequalled, and the sex borders into spirituality. Well, still is.

So, instead of getting hung up on what you know, think of it as a journey that you share. If you get too hung up on technique, you loose the opportunity to understand the other person emotionally. And always remember that the most important sexual organ that you have is not between your legs, but between your ears. Use it.
 smileitsrteal
Joined: 11/19/2012
Msg: 47
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 12/5/2012 7:37:42 PM
I learned how to have the best sex by being ceative and having an active imagination... what would she like and how can i do it to where we both are excited and climax together? not bragging but i have mastered the art. i had an implant called a pearl put in my junk which goes behind the vaginal bone and massages the g spot. i went out of my way to perfect pleasure, and i haven't regretted it in the least.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 48
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 12/5/2012 7:53:04 PM
Baby you are it.

My first sexual experience was strange because I was scared of all the things doctors talk about. since my dad was a doctor. So we would hang out in my room and push the envelope until we were naked. But we didn't do it right away. It took weeks before we actually did it. Each day we would push it a little further. Letting the anticipation grow, letting our feelings grow. But the time that we actually did it, it felt... well, strange. Good, but not what it was cracked up to be. Awesome sex, takes years to get there. Through a process of learning and balancing wanting to be pleased, and please the other person. If I knew then what I know now.

So, teach him. Go slow. Be gentle. Men have glass castles for egos. They break easily.
 tremble4u2
Joined: 10/21/2008
Msg: 49
So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse
Posted: 12/6/2012 12:07:47 AM
your right hell im 48 and still learning haha
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > So guys when and how did you learn how to have intercourse