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 AUTHOR
 B_forU
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 115
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Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?Page 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Some women you ask out (this goes for a huge % of them) say they arent ready to meet yet. Whether it's their divorce or kids or work or just not sure. Then you try talk to some for a while and they just disappear. Many disappear right after you ask them out or for a number.
 sunshine4360
Joined: 5/22/2013
Msg: 116
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/6/2013 3:45:30 PM
Hi

I have been talking texting with a guy I met on here for one year now..... He works from home own business
ion graphics...... Still hasnt asked me out yet..... we text/ talk on phone etc.

I asked him 2 weeks ago its been a year when will we meet he said this week well this week came and went.

He said I am beautiful inside and outside calls me nicknames and all that... But is he stringing me along, or is it what?

H is a Capricorn I have been reading about them
But if a guy likes you like they say wont they make time for you?

thanks Iris
Does anyone have any suggestions please?
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 117
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/6/2013 4:23:32 PM

thanks Iris
Does anyone have any suggestions please?


A year? I hope you're kidding. You've put your life on hold, maybe missed meeting someone wonderful, waiting to meet a guy for a year? He is an a**hole and you, sorry to be blunt, are a fool.
 sunshine4360
Joined: 5/22/2013
Msg: 118
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/6/2013 4:32:18 PM
Yes you are right I am a fool I like him he acts like he does too
My life isnt on hold I do still go here to look and message.
He just took his profile off here actually dont know why
 flavourseeker
Joined: 10/3/2013
Msg: 119
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/6/2013 4:34:01 PM
have been talking texting with a guy I met on here for one year now..... ..... Still hasnt asked me out yet..... we text/ talk on phone etc.

I asked him 2 weeks ago its been a year when will we meet he said this week well this week came and went.

is he stringing me along, or is it what?


Be patient for cryin out loud !

You should be willing to e mail with someone for a minimum of 10 years before meeting !

....but seriously...um....what was it P.T.Barnum used to say ?
 sunshine4360
Joined: 5/22/2013
Msg: 120
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/6/2013 6:40:11 PM
thank you so much everyone.... we talk on the phone also its just so weird.... he compliments me
I am beautiful inside outside,, I am jerseylicious all that.....

I guess its his loss..... we also cam too....... he is just a mixed signal guy

I can do better...... godspeed everyone
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 121
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/7/2013 8:16:05 AM


Advice: Get off online dating sites and back into the real world. Online dating is a smoke and mirrors existence, sustained by illusion and assumption. You have no idea who you are really talking to. Are they even men? Are they adults? Are they married?

They are ghosts, piddling their life away, chatting and "faking it" for whatever reason.

And no, you should not have to "ask men out." You can if you want, but confident men who know what they want are not going to drag people around in endless go-nowhere conversations. They go for what they want. They *ask women out.*

PS- There's no such thing as "mixed signals"... "Mixed Signals" means no. Don't perpetually float in this sea of hoping, waiting, being passive, wondering, on and on. No one, especially someone who has not even revealed themselves fully to you..should have THAT much control over your emotions.



 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 122
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/7/2013 2:40:27 PM

And no, you should not have to "ask men out." You can if you want, but confident men who know what they want are not going to drag people around in endless go-nowhere conversations. They go for what they want. They *ask women out.*


For the most part, I agree with your assessment of online dating. However, I would clarify a few things about this paragraph. Confident men who know what they want don't necessarily object to women asking them out. The notion that women should never initiate is absurd.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 124
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/7/2013 9:20:10 PM


And no, you should not have to "ask men out." You can if you want, but confident men who know what they want are not going to drag people around in endless go-nowhere conversations. They go for what they want. They *ask women out.*



For the most part, I agree with your assessment of online dating. However, I would clarify a few things about this paragraph. Confident men who know what they want don't necessarily object to women asking them out. The notion that women should never initiate is absurd.


I actually agree with VolcanoKing. A woman letting a man know she is interested, initiating. is fine, but I think the man should ask the woman out. And a confident man will also NOT get his shorts in a knot (and start a thread about it) if she says no.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 125
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 5:21:53 AM

but I think the man should ask the woman out.


Why? If a man feels his masculinity is threatened simply because a woman asks him out, he's not much of a man to begin with.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 126
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 6:43:54 AM

If a man feels his masculinity is threatened simply because a woman asks him out, he's not much of a man to begin with.


Threatened masculinity has nothing to do with it. If a man knows a woman is interested in him, and he is interested in her and hasn't asked her out, he's not much of a man.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 127
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 8:27:51 AM
If a man knows a woman is interested in him, and he is interested in her and hasn't asked her out, he's not much of a man.


Then what is the reason that you feel women should not ask men out? I'm not trying to be difficult, I genuinely don't understand the logic.

And what if he doesn't know she is interested in him? Clearly men don't always know, otherwise why would women decline?

Measuring masculinity by the act of asking women for dates is a pretty pathetic metric.
 SWEET_MAVERICK
Joined: 9/28/2013
Msg: 128
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 12:24:33 PM

Threatened masculinity has nothing to do with it. If a man knows a woman is interested in him, and he is interested in her and hasn't asked her out, he's not much of a man.


AMEN! A man who gets it...

and...the man who gets it...gets "it"!

 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 129
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History
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 1:16:41 PM
real men don't presume to define the masculinity of other men.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 130
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 1:29:22 PM

If a man knows a woman is interested in him, and he is interested in her and hasn't asked her out, he's not much of a man.


So are you saying that such a man has no balls and a woman shouldn't ask him out because she should aim higher and seek out more self-confident men?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 131
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 2:06:29 PM

If a man feels his masculinity is threatened simply because a woman asks him out, he's not much of a man to begin with.
Threatened masculinity has nothing to do with it. If a man knows a woman is interested in him, and he is interested in her and hasn't asked her out, he's not much of a man.

But just because a woman asked a guy out, does NOT at all imply he was holding off on asking her out. Some women ask guys out Very quickly (sometimes "too quick", which guys mind less).

If a guy's taking "too long" to ask a woman out, under normal/reasonable circumstances, where the woman HAS been showing consistent interest, he's most likely Not interested in doing so.
- Some guys like female attention like the classic woman who's not truly interested likes guy attention.
- He could be attracted, but (shh!) Taken.
- You could be a back-burner option, where better prospect(s) are on the table, so he's not interested (yet?)
- He's possibly not taking "too long". Ex: An online interaction and she expects him to ask him out real darn quick, where many women would think it's too fast.
- You're co-workers or are both part of a social group, where he feels it wouldn't be wise to just go out on a date like he met you at a bar/online -- and would want to get to know you better first (That approach is Understandably fine for women; should be for guys)

And of course, many times it's the woman not showing any real interest, whether she has some or not. Many people (guys included) send mixed signals without knowing it, which can have more weight on the not-that-interested side. Many guys won't be CHICKEN -- they just don't want to take out a girl with half-a$$ed interest at best, but may be fine with the male attention she wants (and vice versa) while he explores better options.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 132
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 3:51:35 PM
I don't have a problem asking women out and I don't have a problem being asked out by women. Either way is fine by me.

The part I don't get is why it matters so much. I can't imagine not being attracted to a woman simply because she asked me out. Sorry, but that's just ludicrous. If you're a woman and you don't want to ask men out, fine. Don't. And if you're a man and you can't deal with being asked out, don't go out with women who ask. But to voice an opinion that all people have to conform to your way? Not buying it...
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 133
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 4:33:56 PM

But to voice an opinion that all people have to conform to your way? Not buying it...


He didn’t say “all people have to conform,” any more than YOU said it when you posted this:


If a man feels his masculinity is threatened simply because a woman asks him out, he's not much of a man to begin with.


…………………………..


And no, you should not have to "ask men out." You can if you want, but confident men who know what they want are not going to drag people around in endless go-nowhere conversations. They go for what they want. They *ask women out.*


Agreed.

And….I wouldn’t think a woman would choose to extend the agony of being with a wishy washy guy by asking HIM out. What for? So they can carry on with the “go-nowhere conversations”?
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 134
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 4:39:46 PM
If a woman sees me first and I know she is interested in me, I can handle the rest. I don't need any more "signals".
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 135
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 4:39:50 PM
90%of the women who message me ask me out.....maybe because I have that stated in my profile.....If you want to go out ask me.......how much is 90% more than enough....most of these women will always be here so there's no rush in meeting them....Some of us have been messaging back and forth since I joined the site. I'm only dating and not looking for anything serious...... so I do find it odd that women looking for long term will also want to date....I'll ask them upfront what are they really looking for....a few will reply honestly and say sex.....

I now eagerly await for my fav nemesis to apply his logic to my life....
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 136
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 5:41:16 PM
He didn’t say “all people have to conform,” any more than YOU said it when you posted this:


He didn't say he prefers that women not ask him out or that he prefers to be the one to do the asking, he said the man should ask the woman out. He didn't just state what his preference was, he said that's how it should be.

I made no such statement.


And….I wouldn’t think a woman would choose to extend the agony of being with a wishy washy guy by asking HIM out. What for? So they can carry on with the “go-nowhere conversations”?


So don't ask men out. Why do you feel the need to put down women who choose to ask men out or men who have no issue being asked out (no need to answer, I already know the reason)? You date your way, let others date their way.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 137
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 5:59:38 PM

Why do you feel the need to put down women who choose to ask men out or men who have no issue being asked out (no need to answer, I already know the reason)?


Ho hum, really? First you accuse me of putting other women down, which I didn’t do, then pretend to know why. Oooooh, you’re just so crafty and have me all figured out, dontcha?


You date your way, let others date their way.


No! Everyone must conform to my will! EYEROLL.

I think most adults on this forum recognize that people are posting their OPINIONS; not laying down the law.


I'm not trying to be difficult


 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 138
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 6:25:00 PM
Ho hum, really? First you accuse me of putting other women down, which I didn’t do, then pretend to know why. Oooooh, you’re just so crafty and have me all figured out, dontcha?


I don't recall saying I had you all figured out. Where did I state that?

What I do know is that in virtually every single post you make, you make derogatory remarks about people who don't march in lock step with your opinion. The posts on this thread are no exception.

I asked a question a few posts back. Why should women not ask men out? If that's what they want to do, why shouldn't they?
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 139
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/8/2013 7:48:09 PM

If a woman sees me first and I know she is interested in me, I can handle the rest. I don't need any more "signals"


+1


Measuring masculinity by the act of asking women for dates is a pretty pathetic metric.


And I said threatened masculinity has nothing to do with it. You're the one who brought it up.


He didn't say he prefers that women not ask him out or that he prefers to be the one to do the asking, he said the man should ask the woman out. He didn't just state what his preference was, he said that's how it should be.


I didn't but my PREFERENCE is to ask the woman out, Paderic. It's that simple. My OPINION is that's the way it should be. But the times they are a changing.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 140
Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 10/9/2013 6:17:31 AM
^^^^^ You need to be more mindful about how you frame your opinions around here, lest you come across as a know-it-all. If it's your opinion, you should say "in my opinion", rather than stating everything as a fact. For the record, I asked my SO out the first time, and he was very flattered.
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