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 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 26
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Last minute cancellationsPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

I was just curious if same day/last minute cancels were a common occurrence since it has happened to me in the past.

yep. you wonder how many times that bird has died.
 desimale69
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 27
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 8/16/2012 6:05:06 PM
If they call before the blue pill, it's fine. But after the pill....hmmmmmm watch out! lol
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 28
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 8/16/2012 7:05:47 PM
Last minute cancellation of dates have happened to me. But it doesn't happen on a consistent basis. The first time it happens I would give her the benefit of the doubt. However if we reschedule and she cancels a date again, then I would move on. Unless there are extenuating circumstances. Which is possible. But probably doesn't happen often.
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 29
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 8/16/2012 10:05:19 PM
Cancellations? What is this? My online dates are usually no-call, no-shows.

At least your dates give you the courtesy of a "cancellation call". I usually bring a book or my notebook, expecting to be stood up. In case the inevitable happens, I might as well get some light work done or catch up on some reading.

Though, I never have this problem from women I meet IRL.
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 30
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 8/17/2012 5:19:30 AM

One interesting trick I read about is turning the tables. Now 99% of the time when someone is calling you on the day of a date, especially within a few hours before it is to either blow you off, or offer a re-schedule window. So according to the trick, what you do is this. You see their call coming in, you answer and say "Hey I am glad that you called. I was just about to call you and let you know that I have to cancel because something came up last minute. But I am free...." If they don't agree to it on the spot and they need to check their schedule, you put the ball in their court and tell them to let you know. If you get a call back, you know they are interested and if not they were going to blow you off anyway.

I never play games, but since they were going to cancel anyway, it would make for an interesting experiment.


How moronic.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 31
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 8/17/2012 7:32:17 AM
As long as you don't have to drive to whereever it is and you have some notice it's fine. It's when you don't get the cancellation and they never call that it's an issue (if you were making plans that depended on them actually being there, that is). Cancellations are notice - even last minute. Things come up, people have lives.

If they don't suggest another time, they're likely not that interested and you're saving some of your time, if they do suggest something else you reschedule your plans...and either way suddenly you now have some free time to do something else that's probably going to be more enjoyable. There's no downside to that, really.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 32
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/12/2017 7:25:21 AM
Sometimes it happens. If the other person was willing to reschedule fairly soon or at least give an approximate time period of when they would be available, that would be okay. However a few women have cancelled at the last minute. I didn't hear from them again until at least 1-2 weeks later. By that time, I had moved on.

Also as mentioned before, if we do reschedule the date and she cancels 2 consecutive times, then I'm probably done with her. Barring extenuating circumstances. Which would probably be rare though.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 33
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/12/2017 4:07:40 PM

Unless it was a death or a car breaking down, if someone did that to me, I would NOT give them a 2nd chance.


I agree. The whole point of a date is so that your calendar is blocked out and you KNOW what you are doing. Some late-minute event should not erase your plans unless it's life or death. "Cold Feet" just means you are not a match. BLOCK/DELETE
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 34
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/12/2017 4:11:16 PM

I just cancelled a date last minute cause I had emergency surgery life happens.

A date stood me up that way once, but she didn't call. Didn't hear from her for a full month.

I dated another girl a few weeks and had just decided to not to continue when Ms. Surgery called me to explain. She apologized first and explained the whole deal. I was skeptical, but then SHE was the one who called ME. I started slow with just a lunch or something.

We were together for about 4 years after that.
 starstarstarstars
Joined: 12/19/2016
Msg: 35
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/12/2017 4:37:06 PM
The whole point of a date? Whaaaaat?

Wow.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 36
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/12/2017 7:08:10 PM

I have no experience with this but advise guys to always come across with class. Perhaps what seems a frivolous reason isn't frivolous to her.

It's a real plus if you can show a woman that you don't get mad, pout, get sarcastic, etc. when things don't go as planned.


I agree it's not good to get mad, but you shouldn't allow people to flake out on plans. I would drop that girl FAST.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 37
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/12/2017 8:46:40 PM
aww, cute hat WiP.

Gosh, I get first minute cancellations. from the first minute they see my photo...:) Anyway, we argued before about first dates being simple, just a confirmation the person is real and corresponds to photos, typically over a coffee. its times like this, that it makes sense.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 38
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/12/2017 10:58:59 PM
If this is happening a lot then they are not who they say they are and are just chickening out. Do you get to hear a voice on the phone and arrange a definite meet? You are striking the fakes and flakes and I would keep my expectations low. At least you have not been stood up, yet.
 ANewBeginningStartsHere
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 39
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/13/2017 4:45:30 AM
In the past I've wasted weeks talking to someone one on one on the phone etc...

then the planned date would come up and the day of or hours before they would freak out and cancel and I'd never heard from them again.

I have a strong opinion about those people: They are not who they told you they are or are hiding something, they are LOSERS.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 40
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/13/2017 8:20:49 AM
Rejection is part of dating. Use you intuition and try to reject them first, and you'll have an easier time dating. In other words, if you get the sense they are not that into you, drop them before they have a chance to reject you, it hurts less. Welcome to the cat-and-mouse game.

In the end, you only need one.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 41
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/13/2017 8:53:55 AM
Ive never cancelled on someone that I was really interested in meeting. I have bailed on ones that I felt were a little 'off' or incompatible.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 42
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 1/13/2017 10:34:09 AM
I've never cancelled. I have written dates off within the first 5 minutes because they obviously lied, or I could tell from their mannerisms we were not a match.

I have called women to talk after a first date and ended by saying there would be no second date. I have received calls about follow - ups and said "NO". I have called women to say they were dismissed and I was going to date someone else.

Yeah - I've been pretty clear about what I'm doing and what I'm NOT doing. I read a CANCEL as a NEVER CALL AGAIN message.
 SilverWings2017
Joined: 12/14/2016
Msg: 43
Your lips are moving...
Posted: 1/15/2017 5:47:52 AM
I couldn't agree more. If a person cancels the first date (on the day of the date) it is a reflection of their character and inability to follow through with their commitments, because they've found a better option. Cherrypicking BS.

Emergency surgery is a rare exception to the rule.

Had a guy cancel because he wanted to watch the playoffs with his son, because... his kids always come first.

Scoffs.

Yeah right, buddy. His son is a grown adult. I think, once the child reaches the age of majority, that excuse is invalid.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 44
Your lips are moving...
Posted: 1/15/2017 6:57:11 AM
Quality time with family, watching playoffs can be a big deal. However, people usually know sports schedules well in advance. One exception would be tonight's football playoff game in Kansas City, rescheduled from daytime to evening because of bad weather. If a football fan had a date planned for tonight, cancelling the date would be understandable. On rare occasions in baseball, two teams are tied at the end of the season, resulting in a spontaneous playoff game. In those cases, the "sports widow" should understand, especially if the fan offers an alternate day/time/place. However, in most cases, he would have to be totally scatterbrained not to know when the games are if he's such a big fan.

People with kids can play the "kids card", saying they're sick or had some other issue arise. People with aging parents might play the parent card. Sandwich adults have both the kid card and the parent card.


A few days ago I had two "dates" scheduled and they *both* cancelled on the day of the date. One was a 7 PM first meet (the day and time were her idea); she texted me late in the morning saying she had to stay later at her education class to make up for lost time. I believe she could have known about the staying later sooner, and could have offered an alternate day/time if interested. The other one, a planned 4th date at her place, did not communicate. Late in the morning I texted her that I had more time and could see her sooner if she liked. No reply. Texted her again late in the afternoon, asking if she was home. She eventually responded that family members were at her home. Thankfully this wasn't "last minute", so I didn't leave home. Would have trimmed facial hair; good thing I found out soon enough.

When you know you can't go on the date or don't want to know, the sooner you let the other person know you're cancelling, the better. More time for them to adjust their schedule, as they might be giving up some good activity.

Contacted both this weekend. Both responded, but neither seemed enthusiastic. Each might be focusing on someone "better", and might not be interested even if the "better" option disappears. I unmatched them from the swipe sites and deleted the texting conversations. They're not keeping me on the line; I threw the hooks.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 45
Your lips are moving...
Posted: 1/15/2017 7:37:21 AM

I couldn't agree more. If a person cancels the first date (on the day of the date) it is a reflection of their character and inability to follow through with their commitments, because they've found a better option. Cherrypicking BS.


We don't know if the reason they gave for cancelling on the day on the date is valid is not. I think what happens following the cancellation is a better indicator of their character or interest level. Do they offer to reschedule when they cancel? Or perhaps things were a bit hectic on their end when they cancelled and they contacted you to reschedule 1-3 days later when they had more time to talk? In those situations I might the other person another chance.

However, when it takes more than a week for the other person to reschedule, then most likely I would move on. In that situation, there is a good chance that I was the backup option or that person is indecisive about their interest in dating in general. Even if someone had good reasons for not being available to date at the moment, they still could give me an approximate timetable for when they would have some free time.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 46
Your lips are moving...
Posted: 1/15/2017 8:17:07 AM

We often don't know if the reason they gave for cancelling on the day on the date is valid is not.


Typo on previous post. I should have included often. There can be some situations when the reason they gave is a lame excuse. However the larger point remains cancelling on the day on the date itself is not an automatic dealbreaker. It depends on the additional context.
 rcp83
Joined: 2/2/2017
Msg: 47
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 2/5/2017 7:12:31 PM
It's only happened to me once. I had a date and it got cancelled because her dad got a promotion at work and the whole family was out celebrating. I only found out after I got out of the shower. I was happy for her dad, who I never met. I spent the next hour deciding on what to do. I ended up seeing a movie that evening. Not a bad deal.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 48
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 2/5/2017 11:29:00 PM
rcp83
did she offer to reschedule the date? If not, then she was just not that interested.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 49
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Your lips are moving...
Posted: 2/5/2017 11:29:47 PM
I would give the benefit of the doubt once with a cancellation being genuine, but not twice.
 rcp83
Joined: 2/2/2017
Msg: 50
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 2/6/2017 2:18:29 PM
To answer your question we didn't reschedule. I don't know if she was interested. If she wasn't she made up a hell of a good excuse ;)
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