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 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 44
Your lips are moving...Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Quality time with family, watching playoffs can be a big deal. However, people usually know sports schedules well in advance. One exception would be tonight's football playoff game in Kansas City, rescheduled from daytime to evening because of bad weather. If a football fan had a date planned for tonight, cancelling the date would be understandable. On rare occasions in baseball, two teams are tied at the end of the season, resulting in a spontaneous playoff game. In those cases, the "sports widow" should understand, especially if the fan offers an alternate day/time/place. However, in most cases, he would have to be totally scatterbrained not to know when the games are if he's such a big fan.

People with kids can play the "kids card", saying they're sick or had some other issue arise. People with aging parents might play the parent card. Sandwich adults have both the kid card and the parent card.


A few days ago I had two "dates" scheduled and they *both* cancelled on the day of the date. One was a 7 PM first meet (the day and time were her idea); she texted me late in the morning saying she had to stay later at her education class to make up for lost time. I believe she could have known about the staying later sooner, and could have offered an alternate day/time if interested. The other one, a planned 4th date at her place, did not communicate. Late in the morning I texted her that I had more time and could see her sooner if she liked. No reply. Texted her again late in the afternoon, asking if she was home. She eventually responded that family members were at her home. Thankfully this wasn't "last minute", so I didn't leave home. Would have trimmed facial hair; good thing I found out soon enough.

When you know you can't go on the date or don't want to know, the sooner you let the other person know you're cancelling, the better. More time for them to adjust their schedule, as they might be giving up some good activity.

Contacted both this weekend. Both responded, but neither seemed enthusiastic. Each might be focusing on someone "better", and might not be interested even if the "better" option disappears. I unmatched them from the swipe sites and deleted the texting conversations. They're not keeping me on the line; I threw the hooks.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 45
Your lips are moving...
Posted: 1/15/2017 7:37:21 AM

I couldn't agree more. If a person cancels the first date (on the day of the date) it is a reflection of their character and inability to follow through with their commitments, because they've found a better option. Cherrypicking BS.


We don't know if the reason they gave for cancelling on the day on the date is valid is not. I think what happens following the cancellation is a better indicator of their character or interest level. Do they offer to reschedule when they cancel? Or perhaps things were a bit hectic on their end when they cancelled and they contacted you to reschedule 1-3 days later when they had more time to talk? In those situations I might the other person another chance.

However, when it takes more than a week for the other person to reschedule, then most likely I would move on. In that situation, there is a good chance that I was the backup option or that person is indecisive about their interest in dating in general. Even if someone had good reasons for not being available to date at the moment, they still could give me an approximate timetable for when they would have some free time.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 46
Your lips are moving...
Posted: 1/15/2017 8:17:07 AM

We often don't know if the reason they gave for cancelling on the day on the date is valid is not.


Typo on previous post. I should have included often. There can be some situations when the reason they gave is a lame excuse. However the larger point remains cancelling on the day on the date itself is not an automatic dealbreaker. It depends on the additional context.
 rcp83
Joined: 2/2/2017
Msg: 47
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 2/5/2017 7:12:31 PM
It's only happened to me once. I had a date and it got cancelled because her dad got a promotion at work and the whole family was out celebrating. I only found out after I got out of the shower. I was happy for her dad, who I never met. I spent the next hour deciding on what to do. I ended up seeing a movie that evening. Not a bad deal.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 48
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 2/5/2017 11:29:00 PM
rcp83
did she offer to reschedule the date? If not, then she was just not that interested.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 49
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Your lips are moving...
Posted: 2/5/2017 11:29:47 PM
I would give the benefit of the doubt once with a cancellation being genuine, but not twice.
 rcp83
Joined: 2/2/2017
Msg: 50
Last minute cancellations
Posted: 2/6/2017 2:18:29 PM
To answer your question we didn't reschedule. I don't know if she was interested. If she wasn't she made up a hell of a good excuse ;)
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 51
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Last minute cancellations
Posted: 2/6/2017 10:27:25 PM
Cancellations usually aren't genuine. People forget that people make decisions based on how they feel. You want to have a date as soon as possible. If there's too much time in between talking and the date, their emotions can change. The same goes for attraction. If you make them feel a certain way, they will usually like you. You can't convince them to like you by telling them: "You should like me because of this and that."
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