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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates      Home login  
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 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 26
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul matesPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
ModelAviation

Im a salt freak, I love salt.....Id be a deal breaker for some
 herekittykitty99
Joined: 12/28/2010
Msg: 27
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/22/2012 7:31:40 PM
It's not a deal-breaker for me... unless he were to tell me that I'm stupid for my beliefs, and go on to tell me how altruistic he is. And then it would be basically because he was rude and is a hypocrite.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 28
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Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/24/2012 10:28:18 PM
I'm pretty sure it is, but I haven't made it through my deal breaker list yet....I'm at page 320, so it will have to be within the next 50 or 60 pages......Oh wait!, here it is (religious people O.K. for friendships, but not for LTRs)....humm, how did NASCAR fans get behind "R" for religion?...these are supposed to be in alphabetical order.
 AxeMurderer75
Joined: 6/6/2012
Msg: 29
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 12:59:16 AM
I have. I am an atheist, and sometimes it's very hard for me to connect with a non-atheist. Usually, it's on their end, and they have a problem with my beliefs or think that I need fixing. When that happens, and I ask for them to prove their stance or stop trying to change me, all hell breaks loose.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 30
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Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:26:23 AM
Some people will love their "religion" or "faith" more than any person. If you hook up with someone like that, don't expect it to last....
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 31
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 11:13:59 AM

OK Native, then you know that often the only difference between Kosher and Non-Kosher food is how the animal is killed and whether a Rabbi gets to say prayers over the food. You also know that things like Pork are prohibited, and Pork is likely an unhealthy food. You also know of course under strict Jewish Law, you are not considered Jewish unless your mother was Jewish. If a Jewish guy was truly that Orthodox that he followed a Kosher diet (which is difficult for anybody to follow, even in a Jewish City like NYC), then I am surprised that he considered you a viable date. The truly Orthodox generally do not date non-jewish women. You know that.


I did not realize this man kept kosher until 3 dates later..I was Bat Mitzvah at 12 and spoke Hebrew so that was good enough for him. He also knew I was adopted at birth and brought up Jewish which am sure played a part in his decision to date me.. I say this in retrospect because we never really discussed it and am guessing here.

As far as meat goes he knew I was vegan when I answered his question about keeping kosher.. I do not think any meat is healthy unless it is grass fed organic..
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 32
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 11:40:35 AM
As far as I am concerned would not wish to date someone that was ultra religious and expected me to follow in his way of life.. When the gentleman asked me if I was kosher that obviously meant something to him.. I did reply in some jest to his question because it made me rather uncomfortable. Also couple that with the fact he took me only to kosher places for dessert, he was not only kosher in his own home but also kosher as to where he ate when out.. This kind of man was not for me at all.. I am open but prefer those that are not ultra religious, and embrace those that are also open like myself.. I was a Cashew by birth and remain that.. Part Catholic Part Jew = a Cashew a soft nut to crack..
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 33
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 2:19:47 PM

Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen and understand. What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them."
Matthew 15


Do not forget 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 34
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Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 2:39:11 PM
^^^ 1 Peter 4:8
New International Version (NIV)

8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.


( yeah don't see any restrictions there. ) Oh and the "above all" kinda puts that at the top of the list. :)
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 35
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 3:48:08 PM

Do not forget 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness


reminds me of all of those Nigerian scam letters I get telling me to keep things confidential. We don't want the "believers" to be convinced that they are not being very logical do we?
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 36
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:19:24 PM

8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.


( yeah don't see any restrictions there. ) Oh and the "above all" kinda puts that at the top of the list. :)


Its a love for each other short and simple.
So if you think that this is saying it is ok date and be unequally yoked long as you love each other then you truly missed the mark.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 37
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Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 6:23:12 PM
I have missed nothing. If you love each other you aren equally yoked. There is something to learn from everyone, humility at the top of the list at times. To each their own. :)
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 38
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 6:35:35 PM
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

Sure glad I'm an atheist and don't believe shit like this. It also makes it easier to filter out the religious freaks.
"wickedness", gimme a fvcking break.

My grandmother, a wonderful non religious person, taught me very early on to "treat others as you want to be treated", which is the old "do unto others". This saying is translated in many languages, cultures and religions world wide and makes perfect sense. The religious freaks don't own this saying. It is a saying that I believe in, not this shit like "righteousess and wickedness"...

I give people a lot of room, generally, until they step on my toes. If I date someone who wants to attend church, pray to a god, believe in mother earth, bow to the moon, etc., I'm good with it and don't mind in the least...unless he tries to push it on me and vice versa.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 39
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:07:46 PM

There is something to learn from everyone, humility at the top of the list at times.

Very well put.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 40
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:08:32 PM

Sure glad I'm an atheist and don't believe shit like this. It also makes it easier to filter out the religious freaks.
"wickedness", gimme a fvcking break.


Yah.

Of course, Christian Scripture consistently contradicts itself i.e. "Judge not lest ye be so judged" but you can "Judge a tree by the fruit it bears."

I have been struggling with the religious issue for over five months: the man whom I am seeing is a devout Christian and I am a devout pagan atheist/agnostic.

The common theme of "mixed" partnerships is one of respect:
Nevertheless, he respected my faith and I respected his.


I don't respect anyone's "faith": I respect people; I do, though, respect the right to believe what one wants to believe.

My boyfriend has expressed the desire for a very long-term relationship, but I cannot see ever living with him (or at this point, with anyone) because of the physical trappings of his beliefs--iconography, prayer meetings in the home, etc.

Sigh.
 Dan0777
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 41
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:19:36 PM
If people can't get past their differences in values, there might be a problem.

Ideally, soulmates would work it out, change how they think and find a common ground.

But one who believes you have to be in the right religion to go to heaven and if the husband/wife isn't, well they'll be parted after death. They're going to have problems.
 ventti
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 42
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 2:18:50 AM
Re the "kosher food can't be crap because it's kosher" argument - how the cow is killed is of little relevance to how it's cooked. Or are you saying that kosher steak is always tender? Or kosher cakes don't go stale?
Re your original question: It would be very rare soul mates who held vastly different religious beliefs. For example, I wouldn't be interested in dating a fundamentalist Christian/Jew/Muslim so it would never get to soul mate stage.


The truly Orthodox generally do not date non-jewish women. You know that.

There ya go.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 43
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 7:38:50 AM
how the cow is killed is of little relevance to how it's cooked. Or are you saying that kosher steak is always tender? Or kosher cakes don't go stale?


How the cow is killed is extremely important to whether it is Kosher, which is why a Rabbi must be present and sign off that the cow was killed as proscribed by Jewish Law . . which generally means humanely. As for the stale arguments, of course Kosher food goes stale or is poorly cooked, but Native at first seemed to indicate that Kosher Food was "crap", it was only in a later post that she proclaimed that it was simply because of the way it was seved in the run down establishments where she ate it.

By the way Venti, there is a woman who used to post her by the name of Ruby from your part of the world, your city actually. You are about the same age and I thought you might know her from there. If so, tell her I said Hi. I'm not sure why she is no longer posting here, but she was an interesting character. You two probably have a lot in common.
 AlfredoDP
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 44
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 8:01:13 AM
Going back to religions... be careful, most are based on fear; many times, as you walk in a church, a priest will tell you to fear God, does not bother to mention His love.
And as we know, fear makes us unwise in dealing with nature, dealing with others, and dealing with ourselves.
In other words, I do not trust very religious people.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 45
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 8:19:55 AM
That fear thing may or may not be true of Christianity, but it is not true of Judaism. Jews are not threatened with eternal damnation if they do not toe the line. Whereas I have never understood the argument that we have free will, but if we exercise it to reject Jesus, we end up in hell. One reason why I have personally rejected all religions . . because from my perspective they are nonsensical. Still, I would be accepting of a religious person in a relationship so long as her thoughts on religion did not permeate everything we did.

But I will say this about the God of the Old testament. He killed a lot of people for lots of what might be considered frivolous reasons. Heck, he drowned the whole world because of the actions of a few. So maybe, in retrospect, he is not somebody to get angry at you.
 Dani156
Joined: 6/29/2012
Msg: 46
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 8:36:00 AM
Not sure I believe in the whole "soul mate" thing. For me it is important to have someone that has similar beliefs to mine. That said, my "beliefs" are very open at this point in my life. I just need someone that believes in a higher power. The thought that this is it, to me is unbelievable. I acknowledge that I do not have the ability to answer how or why we are here. I have a hard time looking around and thinking there is nothing higher that brought this all to be. I believe in live and let live but I couldn't have a relationship with some one so far from who I am.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 47
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 8:55:27 AM
"...I couldn't have a relationship with some one so far from who I am."

I don't think I'm far from someone who believes in a higher power. We could have a million things we agree on, have the same views on, etc. except this one little thing. And really, it's a little thing.

As for "soul mates", there was a long discussion on this in an older thread - the OP and I had a big disagreement regarding the term "soul mate". I don't use those two words, never have and never will in reference to someone I love.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 48
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 9:09:28 AM
I am staying away from "soul mate" in the mystical sense. I don't believe there are people put on this earth solely for us. But I do think if you are really, really lucky, that you can meet a person with whom you have a very deep bond. I think that type of relationship is few and far between and to have it, both parties must be capable of deep love and must connect on all sorts of levels, from intellectual to personality to ethics, etc. The type of relationship where you can look at her or she at you and you both know what the other is thinking without having to say it. I don't know if it is possible for two people with fundamental religious difference to be soul mates or not, but I'm not sure why they couldn't be so long as everything else but their religious views are in tune and so long as they are both willing to accept the others beliefs or non-beliefs.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 49
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 9:42:21 AM
Okay, a blue moon twice in one month, lol. I totally agree with the above post by Tbicon.

oh, oh. I think I hear the thunder roll and I'm about to be struck down....
 Dani156
Joined: 6/29/2012
Msg: 50
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 10:08:03 AM
I guess it would have to do with the two people involved. I just finished with a guy who was an atheist. It was something that was very important to him and likewise the belief in God is very important to me. To each her/his own but to me it is very important, not a little thing.And I am not one of those "crazy" church people,I rarely go anymore. I don't think I could do my job if I didn't believe strongly in something more. I did try with him, but I have learned it just isn't something that works for me. Not saying it doesn't work for others but I don't think it would for me....but then again I don't need to worry cause I am no longer looking! :-)

So to answer the question yes,religious differences can be a deal breaker for me,but still it is about the WHOLE picture not one part of the person.
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