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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates      Home login  
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 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 51
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul matesPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Don't be too concerned Welsh. Remember even a broken clock gets it right twice a day.
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 52
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 2:06:50 PM
MSG 42-"I have missed nothing. If you love each other you aren equally yoked. There is something to learn from everyone, humility at the top of the list at times. To each their own. :)"
You speak as a fool and live the lie as well. You really should attend a reliable church once in your life and talk with a pastor about it, but your probably self taught and know more then a pastor which would explain your off the wall comment.
Lots of luck to you cause you will need it, all you can get.

MSG 43 - "The atheist can't find God for the same reason that a thief can't find a policeman", or if you like "Atheism is a crutch for those who cannot bear the reality of God"
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 53
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 3:10:12 PM
Thorn, people who believe non-believers are wicked or can be compared to thieves . . . well . . . I truly feel sorry for them. But this is not the place for your preaching. This thread is about whether the religious and non-religious can be soul mates, not whether the non-religious are wicked. Take it someplace else please where those holier than the rest of us can fool themselves into believing they are the only ones who know the truth.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 54
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Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 3:41:28 PM
*smile* Thornz, you don't know me or where I stand with the Lord. Your judgement should make you wonder just a bit. Matthew 7:2-4 could be of use to you.

If nothing else it shows that even those that are of the same faith can't get along at times. Although it is great to agree on all things there are times in relationships where differences cause people to study more, and revisit their belief systems, if nothing else to remind them how they got there. Love doesn't descriminate on faith, color, or status. Love just is. Sometimes its to raise us up to a new level, sometimes its to help raise others, but most times its to raise each other to a greater understanding. All roads lead to the same place and some are narrow and sure, some are wide and windy. None will be forsaken, but all have different reasons for the path they choose, we are guided and fed as we need, lessons learned, ego understood and all have love to give and receive.
 BluEyedBlond1966
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 55
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 3:55:40 PM
tbicon: "Has anybody ever before allowed or been the victim of religious differences coming between them and true love?"

Of course! I was engaged to a man that did not belive in God and I do. He did not want a Christmas tree or any decorations in the house. I could not live my life that way!
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 56
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/26/2012 5:06:21 PM
MSG 59 - You take scripture out of context due to poor understanding.
How you stand is your business, but what comes from your mouth (or in text) shows how poorly your understanding of the bible is. I have not judged you at all, just pointing out your giving bad/false information is all based on your limited knowledge.
In a nut shell your taking scripture an twisting it to fit your needs and your willingness to compromise your faith.
Your better off to give a hungry man a toothpick and assumed you helped him then to think you know what you are talking about.
 JAXDiver
Joined: 6/4/2011
Msg: 57
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Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 7:52:18 AM
"Deal-brakers" come in all shapes and sizes. Religion can be one of these. The solution is easy! Chose what you desire to have in your significant other BEFORE you start using the search command. Only those with the attributes you desire will normally be shown and the "deal-braker" is moot, unless you start looking against you search preferences. That is the only time one will run into that challenge on this site, unless your selection has been untruthful about the particular attribute.

In my personal life, I have run into a religious difference. She was my first love. We talked about raising children. We found our impasse: Christianity versus Islam. I knew we were not going to remain together because i did not want to raise Muslim children. I was devastated! My heart hurt for about a year. I was only eighteen, but I learned a valuable lesson: for me, religion was the deal-breaker.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 58
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 8:18:23 AM
I've had relationships with men that were Jewish, Christian, Catholic, Atheist, Scientologist and Mormon. I even dated a Christian Pastor for about 6 months...

They were all pretty respectful and tolerant of other people in general. That is key.

If someone starts complaining too much about ANY group of people (political, religious, race, whatever), it's a no go for me. I won't date cranky men.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 59
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 8:21:11 AM
""MSG 42-"I have missed nothing. If you love each other you aren equally yoked. There is something to learn from everyone, humility at the top of the list at times. To each their own. :)"
You speak as a fool and live the lie as well. You really should attend a reliable church once in your life and talk with a pastor about it, but your probably self taught and know more then a pastor which would explain your off the wall comment.
Lots of luck to you cause you will need it, all you can get.
MSG 43 - "The atheist can't find God for the same reason that a thief can't find a policeman", or if you like "Atheism is a crutch for those who cannot bear the reality of God"|""

________________________

"Atheism is a crutch...." That's a crock. This is why I don't want to date the religious freaks, they all think they are right, they all think their interpretation of the bible is right, and they don't think they judge, but they do. I could say something just as stupid, like "those who believe in the bible use it as a crutch because they don't have an intelligent or independent thought on their own". Doesn't make sense, does it.

The thing is, I don't care if someone is a bible thumper - if they find comfort in their beliefs, so what. I repect that and don't try and stop them. But I feel the same about my own beliefs, leave me alone in what I beleive. And yes, now I think that people with religious differences will have problems and it could well be a dealbreaker.
 missmermaid4u
Joined: 6/23/2012
Msg: 60
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 8:37:41 AM
I think of a soul mate, as someone, with a similar love of life, a strong spirit, rich in warmth and kindness. That kind of dance ppl do~ in that inner core, that transcends way beyond our conscientious state. It’s that knowing, when we connect..or not..
Way too out there..And yet, we do it all the time..Connect with ppl via internet, the grocery store, yet, somehow shopping online gets way too restrictive..
Because for me, I am still looking for that soul mate, for me, finding someone that has similar beliefs, is way easier for me to connect with than someone who does not
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 61
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 8:48:03 AM

for me, finding someone that has similar beliefs, is way easier for me to connect with than someone who does not
I really do wonder why that has not been the case for me. Quite consistently too.

I often feel flat and bored, like I cannot seem to connect on a deeper level with those who have similar beliefs. Yet with those who are different in this sphere, I have been able to forge a deep and meaningful bond.

I guess the soul just doesn't care what your 'belief system' is... not that that amounts to real life compatibility mind you.
 missmermaid4u
Joined: 6/23/2012
Msg: 62
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 10:05:03 AM
Yes..it's the package that attracts..although what 's in the heart is most relative..everything else is secondary, intellect, humor, charisma....and yes, just because you have the same belief system doesn't necessarily make you a match!
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 63
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Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 10:08:25 AM
...As far as judgemental Christians, I think it says in the Bible somewhere that you should spread the 'word'. Some just get a little carried away with it. And if you really take the Bible literally, I think it would be understandable to a point. A lot of 'Christians' don't... 'Cafeteria Christians.'
 missmermaid4u
Joined: 6/23/2012
Msg: 64
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 10:32:27 AM
yes..someone @ work has a bumper sticker on her car that reads;" Don't pray in our schools, and I won't think in your church"...gotta love her..she has...just as much punch in her personality, but, inside it hit a chord though, because as a child, the Lords Prayer was a part of me, but what does this say about other religions, cultures, or the non-religious..
And I hear you with the Christians that recite and unknowingly drive their religion away....
I am quietly Christian, because I am more or less spiritual, because embrace ppl's diversity..I know there are far better non-religious ppl than I could ever strive to b..yet there is a kind of calling to have ppl kin to me.. maybe some ppl feel this in a some other respect..
They say opposites attract..so much is true..I also think like attracts like.
And really~ to each his own..
So the search is on~maybe we all don't live up to our ideals, or even know exactly what we are looking for, but what I am saying, a soulmate..has that instant connection..without our employ
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 65
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 11:18:23 AM
I beleive in God, in a spiritual way rather than a legalistic religious way, so I for the long haul, need a man who either believes or is open to the existence of God.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 66
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Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 1:09:06 PM
I wish to offer a most sincere apology to anyone I may have offended with my prior posts on this topic. My trigger got tripped and I am a bit ashamed how easily I allowed it. I have the gift of healing and have met a lot of "opposition" from fundamentalist Christians that feel there is only one way to interpert the bible, and its their way. It was those that kept me from the Word for decades. I am also a Law Enforcment Chaplain and should have a better ablity to deal with folks like that. Its been a great reminder for me, so I thank you Thornz. I will be more aware in the future.

My current BF is an agnostic, and I will say because of his past background as a theology major, we have some very spirited discussions. It dosen't matter to me where his faith stands, all things in their own time.
 Happy Dude 63
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 67
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 2:45:30 PM
I truly believe in soul mates or very deep love.

my question would be how can you get to the status of soul mates, if religion has not been discussed and handled already?

I think religion would come up during the progression to soul mate status? and would have been settled. Now as janet said, maybe when children enter into the relationship and there is a new discussion as to how the children are to be raised then maybe a deal breaker arises? But I doubt it if true soul mate status has been acquired .

So i would answer NO.

but religion crushes many different views prior to deep love.
 Happy Dude 63
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 68
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 3:03:03 PM
I see a little religious arguing has broken out. So odd, preaching ones religion is always inches away from fighting mad.

I think two different views can get along well when you have two open minds. Allowing their loved one to process and follow their view in comfort. If you have a GF that wants to go to church every Sunday, make sure she can without guilt or issue. And so on.

I love the idea of religion, you know be good and kind to all and such..

Unfortunately man has made religion about...? man. Mans control of his fellow man. That is why man invented religion and why he still uses it today. Control. Not Heaven or Hell. Cause they don't exist.
I believe in evolution and science. I am open minded to everything that can be proved to me and maybe a tiny bit of maybe something that you just maybe believe in. But not organized religion.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 69
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 3:16:37 PM
I see where you're going with that line of thinking. And I agree, religion would have been discussed, probably in the early dating period when first getting to know each other. Therefore, it wouldn't be a deal breaker - it's already out in the open, discussed and agreed upon. If someone is very religious they may not want to continue dating someone who doesn't believe and vice versa.

My husband was raised catholic but quit attending church as a child and was an atheist when I met him. I was an atheist as well. We had deep true love and did not refer to it as being "soulmates", a term neither of us used. We didn't take our children to church, we thought they could make that decision themselves once they were grown. Our oldest son saught comfort in god, my youngest son did not.

And yes, "religion crushes many different views prior to deep love". You'll find your differeces long before you fall in love.

After can be an issue, my uncle became a born again at about age 45, it tore his family apart. He went batshit crazy with it all and his wife left taking two children with her and he ended up raising the other two. He'd come to our home and immediately get all preachy and it eventually made my mother and father stop seeing him. It was hard on my mother, this was her older brother, but it was too much to take. The last time I saw him was a couple months before he died of cancer, a cancer he didn't seek treatment for because "god would heal him". Yup, that worked...
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 70
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 4:36:10 PM
I sometimes wonder what makes people very religious in later life. From my perspective, religious teachings simply don't make a whole lot of sense and are easily rejected. So what happens in a persons life that all of a sudden, religion becomes the most important thing in their life? How does a person throw out logic and simply accept dogma from a prehistoric time and place? I don't think I will ever understand.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 71
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 5:10:44 PM
If someone is deeply religious so what. If you are soulmates that would not come between you. As long as they dont try to convert you to their way of thinking. Of course some cultures do not mesh and family objections may make life difficult if you wanted to marry.
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 72
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/28/2012 6:21:30 PM
my question would be how can you get to the status of soul mates, if religion has not been discussed and handled already?


My thoughts too.

I think it all comes down to tolerance and open-mindedness. If someone believes that their religion is the only religion and that non-believers are defective, then its going to be a huge problem. The believer will “lord” over the other partner. Some religious people are tolerant of, even open to, other religions and to not being religious. Some aren’t.

I had two relationships in which religion was an issue, but really the issue was tolerance in general. I dated a guy who melted down because my kids and I put up a Christmas tree. I dated another guy who melted down because I had a Harry Potter movie on when he arrived- he said it was satanic and had a yelling fit. Neither of those relationships were soul mate- level, though. Their intolerance, in all its forms, not just religion, was unlivable. They were intolerant about a million things and very sharp-edged people.


Although it is great to agree on all things there are times in relationships where differences cause people to study more, and revisit their belief systems, if nothing else to remind them how they got there.


I agree with this, and not just in terms of religion and beliefs of all kinds. (You see the same kind of extremism and rigidity in regard to politics as religion these days- demonizing and close-mindedness.) People who feel strongly about something but are unable to take pause when there is a difference in opinion or beliefs, and listen, understand and consider another view are extremely difficult people to interact with. My “soul mate” would not be intolerant and close minded. I couldn’t fall in love with someone like that. And I’m sure it would be clear waaaay before I thought he was my soul mate. If it wasn't clear early on, and I discovered it later, I'd conclude that I had made a mistake about his being my soul mate. :)
 Happy Dude 63
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 73
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/29/2012 3:44:53 AM
When I first joined POF I was living in S. Florida. I had started talking to a lady who seemed to be a nice match for me.
WE emailed, then talked on the phone quite easily. It was going great!

So we decide to meet at a Borders book store and have coffee. We both show up, and YES! we continue to connect!
She is happy and friendly and we are talking easily. Yes she is cute and all is good. We then start to walk aimlessly around the book store...(trouble).

We wander into the religion section. BIG trouble coming!

I turn and see a large book with it's cover facing out and showing something about the Catholic religion and the crusades.
I wish I could remember my exact words, I don't, but I made a fairly soft comment on the picture. Something like,
'geez pretty graphic picture for a religious book'.

She quickly said, 'What you don't believe in God'? She was really staring at me hard. I told her, "Well, no. Not as religions try to persuade us. But I am very open minded'

I don't want to make me sound great and her sound evil. The point was, I was open to listen to her views on the subject and 'mostly' accept her and what she believed in. There could be extremes I would not want to be associated with. But she, the one who was strongly religious stormed out of the store without as much as one more word. She was furious.
 AlfredoDP
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 74
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/29/2012 5:35:11 AM
It just happened to me, Happy Dude.
I used to be very religious, growing up in a small community there was only one religion; once I left my home town, as a teen, I saw the world in a different way, found my answers from sources other than religion, realized that what had been taught to me before was wrong, mainly because of the hypocrisy, abuse, treating " different" (handicapped) people unfairly, the use of its power by the Church... Lost the faith, yes to believe one has to have "faith", meaning closed eyes and no questions asked...
Last night was with a lady, no problems talking politics, current events,...then she started with religion... I just sat, my mind wondering "what did I do". I did not have the chance, then not the will, the explain we are all equals, no matter which God we believe in.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 75
Are religious differences really a deal breaker between soul mates
Posted: 7/29/2012 6:20:58 AM
In my experience (with those I chose not to date or other acquaintances) is not that they push THEIR religion, they instead bad mouth others.

Atheists that go on and on about jesus freaks and those f'ed up bible thumpers -- is actually the most common. What is the atheist equivalent to a bible thumper? There are plenty of those out there for sure.

Christians of one denomination slamming other ones, Jews complaining about christians, etc.

I've never once had someone try to convert me or anything.

If you just read through this thread you'll see where the most aggressive language is coming from... it has nothing to do with their FAITH or BELIEFS. It's always slamming those "other guys".

I have one son who is an atheist and another that is a devout christian. I respect both of them equally and feel no need to agree or disagree with their choices.

It can be that way with an SO as well.
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