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 stillfeellike25
Joined: 5/15/2012
Msg: 51
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

As for dating but nothing serious....yep they are hunting for something to tide them over till they find the one that wows them off their feet

Women may not ant to admit it, but more than a few of them have the same agenda.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 52
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 9:43:43 AM

From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.


Well, I dunno about everyone else, but from THIS guy's perspective....I'm looking for adate...but nothing SERIOUS.
I fail to see how this would lead someone to get confused.
Unless grammar school is WAAAYYY too far away.

OH, the hidden agenda, right.
Well, tons of people with those around here.
Your job to ask the right questions to see it though. A lot of women won't even try to go there. But it's a gamble, a spin of the wheel.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 53
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 10:43:01 AM
"tell me WHY 99% of the posts on this forum deal with subject of "things were going great and then BAM......no contact, no nothing????????"

Simple, people are cowards! In this case, IMO, more women function that way than men. Women don't want either to hurt a guys feelings or fear some form of reprisal(backlash email). Yeah, I know some guys play 'hit it and quit it'...the same guy can ruin the situation for 8 or 10 women by doing that, thereby punishing the next 5 guys each of those women date.

Let me post up a situation that happened to me. I don't write a lot of women on here(currently NONE at all), but I saw a profile of a woman, with an odd picture. It prompted me to think of a popular TV commercial, so I wrote her and told her so.

She responded and we exchanged a few emails. After about 6 or so emails, I sent her my phone number. I said when she felt comfortable, feel free to block her number and call me. She responded that she was ready and would call later that night. Well, no call. I said I understood, if she was busy or something had come up, and to call when she wanted to. About this time, I noticed she was on here much more than she had been before. By now we had moved to private email exchanges, BUT they became less frequent. When I wrote her, she would respond 5 or 6 days later. When she wrote I usually responded the same day or the next one.

Finally after a while like this, since we had NOT set a meeting, and the contact was becoming less frequent, I wrote and mentioned that I understood if someone else had her interest and wished her well, since now she was on here daily, and we weren't chatting or emailing on here.

She wrote back and unloaded on me. That there was no one else. That she had learned things from the emails that would end it sooner than later. Now there was no sex talk, no invitations to an orgy, no questionable language.

If she had learned something she didn't like, why not say it? If she wasn't interested or had more interest in someone else, why not admit it?(BTW, she did not post on the forums). I'm NOT a mind reader..I'm also NOT a backup plan...so I called it a day, based on what I saw.

The lessons here are obvious, first I MAY have read the situation wrong. Next no matter what based solely on what she said, she had issues with dating me, for whatever reason.

All of this online meeting is a crap shoot. If you lack the ability to read people, understand what they are trying to say or do. If you don't adhere to your own personal standards. This will be a rough ride for you. Assuming someone only wants to get laid, or has an ulterior motive, before you have communicated fully, and met the person does a disservice to not only them, but YOU...
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 54
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From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 11:32:40 AM

While I agree that most of what your saying should be the way it plays out, tell me WHY 99% of the posts on this forum deal with subject of "things were going great and then BAM.......no contact, no nothing"????????? I can tell you why, it's because IN SOME CASES the guy didn't get in the girls pants!!!!!!!!!!! To add, this is NOT a gender specific issue, guys and girls BOTH play games............it makes it hard for those few of us WHO DO NOT.............


In 100% of cases, it's because the other person wasn't attracted to the person writing the post enough to date long-term, and the person writing the post is too dumb to see it.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 55
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 11:41:33 AM

Assuming someone only wants to get laid, or has an ulterior motive, before you have communicated fully, and met the person does a disservice to not only them, but YOU...


Yes, indeed it's easy to ASSume. However, nowadays, it's hard to even get to the MEET IN PERSON stage. I don't believe in telling someone you haven't even met in person "I love you" or "I'm attracted to you"---I do not believe that to be possible. You HAVE to meet in person and have a conversation. A lot of people here will tell you there's TONS of fake profiles here with fake pictures not to even mention things that are UNTRUE in their profile.




In 100% of cases, it's because the other person wasn't attracted to the person writing the post enough to date long-term, and the person writing the post is too dumb to see it.


That might be the case if two people HAVE ACTUALLY MET IN PERSON.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 56
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 12:33:56 PM
"Yes, indeed it's easy to ASSume"

Are you trying to be cute? Why not say what you mean...or are you just another coward, among the many...

"However, nowadays, it's hard to even get to the MEET IN PERSON stage"

Sometimes it is, many times not so much, at least for me. I have had 60+ dates from this site. A couple went further than the 'just a handful of dates' stage... It isn't as hard as most make it seem. It's all about recognizing quickly those who would waste your time, from those intent on dating.

"I don't believe in telling someone you haven't even met in person "I love you" or "I'm attracted to you"---I do not believe that to be possible"

Of course it's not possible. For one thing it smacks of desperation. Unfortunately, many on here believe they have an "instant connection" or have found their "soul mate" from a handful of words and a few tiny pictures. The fact of the matter is that so many begin the journey with the end in mind, they delude themselves into believing they actually know that person from the profile and one positive email.

While you can feel some sense of attraction to the cyber apparition that their profile represents, until you meet them, have several interactions(dates), until you get to see who they are, where they live and what they want, why anyone would engage their feelings is beyond me. People on here are LESS than a stranger! At least with a stranger standing right in front of you one can assess, how they dress, how they speak(intelligence), how they walk(activity level)...

Then again, so many have a list of traits, or requirements they are looking for, they often miss a person who well might be a match, because they are 10 pounds too heavy, or lack 3 inches in required height among many other things.

Now the only caveat I will throw in, is when someone acts lewdly toward you, in the first coupl of emails or communications. Then I concur, there is no reason to meet them. They obviously have no self respect or respect for the other person.

As for fake profiles, or bad pictures. There are any number of ways to combat that. First they will lie, so it is ver difficult for most to continue to spin tales without getting all tangled up in them. Second(although many women have an issue with this) a simple webchat with a camera, will reveal what they actually look like. Anyone who turns this into a sexcapade, can be easily shut off, and blocked!
 IR_SomeBuddy
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 57
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 12:56:36 PM
Kudos rdeffley exactly what you said! I don't date multiple women as well and have pretty much the same philosophy of getting to know a person before jumping in. I have had plenty of opportunity to dive right in or even date multiple women but I didn't.

Thank goodness as I could have contracted a nasty disease from several of those women, a jealous gun runner boyfriend from Brazil would have resulted in me disappearing like the other guy did, also hooking up with an philandering coke head is low on my priority list, alcoholics make me sad and depressed, and people who try and use me are no longer invited into the VIP room.

People that assume that if you put, "looking to date but nothing serious" are dogs looking for FWB, are mistaken.
I figure with 6 billion people in the World there are probably 6 billion different ways of looking at things. I would just ask.

I have had many platonic relationships in my life and I do value them, and yes there were quite a few of those ladies that I would have not minded being with but didn't pursue because I have values and morals.

I'm not here for multiple sex partners far from it... I just want one good woman and to perhaps make some new friends and get some activity in.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 58
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 1:44:48 PM

or are you just another coward, among the many...


bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I don't hardly think so. I DO say what I mean............

It's EASY to set behind a computer and type ANYTHING you want. As you alluded to, people get tangled up in their own spin..........I don't see a reason, and I'd hope there's others the same way(but they are few and far between it seems), to post a fake picture, or to post lies about yourself. I also don't see a reason to NOT state in your profile your only looking for hook ups and nothing more.
 LoveMyDog55
Joined: 7/18/2012
Msg: 59
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 3:16:38 PM
omg, that's funny! It would be nice if all the penis heads would go to adult friend finder instead of here
 IR_SomeBuddy
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 60
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 3:19:47 PM
Why are you putting a penis on my head bro? Did you not read I agreed with rdeffley? I just don't get how people can be so narrow minded to make these horrible assumptions about a person's intent just from a drop down box of narrow categories presented on a dating site, without even having the common decency to message and ask them. Ever see the Church Lady character from SNL?

If I wanted an intimate no strings attached encounter I would gladly check that box... I'm not after that and that's just me. Lots of ladies I've messaged here have gone for the gent with the "looking for an relationship intent" and found out they are married philanderers. Imagine that the little drop down box was wrong and lied!

If a person is so narrow minded that they assume and judge your intentions here without first taking the time to get to know you a little bit, I'm glad they passed me by and in the end its their loss not mine.

My 2 cents.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 61
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 3:30:52 PM

If a person is so narrow minded that they assume and judge your intentions here without first taking the time to get to know you a little bit, I'm glad they passed me by and in the end its their loss not mine.

What I've learned about those silly drop down boxes here? They don't mean jack!!! I don't meet/date those who are seeking "Friends" "Intimate Encounters" or "Activity Partner" and guess what? 90% of those that I have met, who are looking for a relationship (by their own admissions via those little drop down boxes here) would be quite happy with a NSA intimate encounter if it were an option. And likewise? I've met a couple who clearly stated in their profiles they wanted nothing serious, just dating, and within a date or two they were wanting exclusivity. The reality is? "Intentions" change. I wasn't looking for a husband when I met mine. I wasn't looking for a BF the last time I had one. I may be looking for a serious relationship today, this does NOT mean I'm looking for a serious relationship with just anyone I might meet today. JMO
 Sunlight72
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 62
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 3:46:21 PM
OP - "I would like to hear from a guy's perspective, what exactly is this definition?"

Speaking for myself ;
The definition for me was that the most likely event with each particular woman I would contact or ask out would not lead to a second meeting/date.

I was looking for a long-term relationship (which I am now enjoying). But, after thinking about it for a couple of days, and reading women's profiles to guess at how I might most accurately advertise my mindset, I selected "looking to date but nothing serious" for my profile when I signed up here.

I had no idea how many women I might meet before I met someone that would be a good potential match for a relationship, but I figured (correctly, as it turned out) that it could be many (like more than 10). So for the first 10, or 15, or 30 women I didn't want anyone to look at me with marrying-eyes the first time we met or emailed. I wanted to just meet women until one (or two) fit me well enough to ask out on a second or third date, and then see how that developed.

The zero to two date women I contacted/met all had good qualities, but not what I thought I wanted in some way. I hugged a few, kissed none until the one I've spent 7 happy months with, and we kissed on the fourth meeting (if I remember correctly). I mention the last part to let people know that "dating but nothing serious" is not necessarily a code for "seeking one-night stands".
 Bawb50
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 63
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From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 4:18:51 PM
At my age, it means that I'm not ready to settle down for anything serious, not looking for FWB's, I'm just looking to make acquaintences. I'm not ready for the responsibility of a relationship, I don't care about hopping into the sack, I just want to meet new people, it's really that simple.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 64
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 4:25:34 PM
Some people put "nothing serious" in there because there are women out there looking and expecting some magically mystery tour which ends in a marriage. And they want it fairly quickly. Don't believe me????? Look at some of the posts that have been put up in the last 5 years,or is it 10 for me????? Some scarey shiat about people jumping the gun within weeks,months after meeting someone, or even about a guy who is in love with some Russian chick living in Iceland,yet, they've never met.

Yeah, I think I would like to go with the flow for a bit, and see if some scarey monster hatches out of the body of a what I believe to be a beautiful sane female. So far all I've gotten is a whole herd of em that could be invited to a Hallowean dance,with no need for a costume.
 IR_SomeBuddy
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 65
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 5:11:22 PM
Its very hard to put inflection to written words in a forum and sometimes we are all guilty of skimming and I definitely was not taking anything personally drawnod. I can take a fair amount of criticism and ribbing and hey I welcome it if its valid and genuine, this way I can improve and move forward or even share and join in with everyone's laughs even if its at my own expense.

I love debate, talking, and learning, as well as constructive conversations and it is amongst one of my favourite things to do. This conversation however doesn't seem to be any one of these. I'm new to these Forums but not Forums or message boards in general, far from it. Judging from my first contact with you I find you seem to enjoy trolling so I'm going to give you fair warning and say this just once;

Please don't infer derogatory terms or intent to my character, or call me a penis head or infer any other sexual organ or body part you have a fetish for in a post ever again. Unless you actually catch me with said penis, organ, or body part surgically implanted on my head, then you are allowed to post whatever you want to your hearts content and we all can move forward. Deal?

You don't even have to say or do anything, this is perfectly fine with me. And next time you want to defend me please stay at home, I can defend myself.

Sincerely
A good guy too.
 MDIYM59
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 66
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 5:30:45 PM
For me it means, we can date but living together or marriage is not going to happen. If that's what she wants please visit the next mans profile.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 67
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 5:38:06 PM
Looking to date but nothing serious means to me going out for a movie, dinner, concert, ect. to have some companionship and fun friendship but the person is not seeking a girlfriend where the relationship will evolve to something more in the future. I can see where some people may interpret it to be FWB, depends on the person. That being said anytime you have sex without being committed is your own doing. If you go that route and then he does not want more from you ever and you feel hurt, then it is your own doing. I would suggest that you only date people looking for a long term relationship eventually because that is their ultimate goal to have a partner sometime in the future. It does not have to be in a year from now but as long as it is something they want for themselves eventually is what I look for.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 68
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 6:17:11 PM
The best one I read so far is message #23 by *cowboys* along with his advice. Also would like to add the age range that sex are more in the mind of males age range up to around early 70s if he is in a good health without using viagra but then depends on each individual mind and ego how he see of himself.
However it is an open headline for easily exit for one whom using it.
 jmoinajo
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 69
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/23/2012 7:37:27 PM
I think these are the most hopeful people who have reached a point that they see a lot of obstacles between them and love. It might be their personal needs, their values, their life circumstances, but they really feel like love is a needle in a haystack thing and they are not quite up to the search at this time, BUT JUST IN CASE, they go ahead and enter the pof lovestakes. I mean, *somebody's* gotta win, and if you don't enter... They are also bored and would like new people in their lives.

But if you are quite determined to find a relationship, then they are not good investment of your time, and could waste it. In spite of being hopeful, they have a lot on their plates, they will settle for meantime and ditch or dump later. Or worse, become the person you want to dump just so they don't have to dump you. The designation screams commitment phobe.

I know all of this, because that is usually my choice on relationship needs.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 70
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/24/2012 10:52:38 AM
I put that I'm looking for a relationship since it is what I eventually want. But realistically, people tend to start with just causally dating, and take it from there. I'm looking to meet people and see where it goes.

To me, dating but nothing serious means exactly that. No pressure to build any kind of serious relationship, and the two of you take your time and really make sure that you fit each other.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 71
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/24/2012 10:57:17 AM
It means he doesn't want to get serious until he meets a woman he wants to get serious witn. Inother words, it is a meaningless statement
 Athletic-Habitus
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 72
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/24/2012 3:55:39 PM
It completely depends on the person. Now when I see a woman's profile and it says looking to date, but nothing serious. I interpret it as I will date you until it gets serious...then I will court you. That is the only optimistic way I can interpret it. But of course, don't be naive....it also means that her dance card is open- if you know what I mean. :)
 ezlivin313
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 73
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History
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/24/2012 5:15:57 PM
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.

That can also mean that we men are not looking to be stalked(like some women do) I myself have nooooooooo problem with having a woman arrested or having a possie put on her asz. Some of us fellas are pretty genuine when it comes to friends of the opposite sex.. we may just get along better is all. Theres nthing wrong with fun and laughter with the no strings attached. We may not be ready or willing to put all the cards on the table just because a lady after a couple dates gives you just what you like, want(sex in the wildest form) Sometimes we are just looking for a true friend who confides in each other and sex is something that can just happen without the emotional baggage and still be friends
 SavoyFaire
Joined: 1/14/2011
Msg: 74
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/24/2012 6:09:48 PM
I see the same option/comment on quite a few female profiles. "I THINK" it means they just want to meet new friends, keep their options open or be open to date/see other people. But, as someone stated earlier, it depends on the person. I truly believe even if you are not looking for a relationship and you meet that "RIGHT PERSON" who you seem to click with on multiple levels..............you will fall head over heels, whether you want too or not (smile).
 GodsGirl1983
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 75
From a guy's perspective..define Looking to date but nothing serious status.
Posted: 7/25/2012 4:51:29 PM
Im a girl but I felt the need to comment anyway. I might be interested in a relationship, but I say looking to date nothign serious because i think I sshould get to know someone. It seems like people wanna move fast and I think "seeking a relationship" isn't out of the question but its not something Im gunna do after one date. Im wondering if putting "seeking a relationship" is a red flag that people may think you too serious!
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