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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else      Home login  
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 jmh180
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 39
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
That does make more sense, I do still have some trouble with things like that in my area. It is a mixed area but it's more suburban than anything, so far I haven't seen anything for singles other than meet local singles on line. The other trouble is with several major cities nearby but not as easy to venture for activities like those.
 smilebrother
Joined: 5/4/2010
Msg: 40
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 8/11/2012 8:14:53 PM
Hey Maltese, I've been where you are with no real friends. I'm older and never married (not because I didn't want to) and most people I've known had kids and made friends only with other people with kids, etc. Try meetup.com - lots of groups on there, all sorts of stuff to do. I tried a few, some were good, others not, I mostly like the kayaking groups, and at least it gets you out there with real people, men and women, but not necessarily for dating so there's no pressure there. Good luck.
 booserinc
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 41
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 8/18/2012 1:27:04 AM
Nope its def not hard to make friends at any age man. Im just into my 30s and would say the friends I've made now are way better friends than the ones ive known for 10+ years. Whatever your thing is would be a great way to start. If its basketball or kids or what not. Go to your local ymca or where ever you'd play and find a game to get into. I can safely say its hard for me to make friends but finding people with my interest made it way easier. good luck man!
 lobo65
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 42
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Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 8/19/2012 7:39:41 PM
Man, this thread hits home for me as well. I don't have any close friends either. I had plenty when I was in the military, but all the people I know know are my co-workers, and they are married, and sedentary. I'm a shy guy, and it makes meeting women difficult when you have no one around for moral support.
 my_name_is_paul
Joined: 5/23/2011
Msg: 43
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 8/24/2012 8:21:47 PM
So is this the 'No Friends Club' thread? Do we meet second Tuesday of the month at 9? hahahaha

I know people, I talk to a lot of people... but I would not call them friends as in come in my home and lets bond kinda friends.

As for activities I simply do it myself (notice I didn't say ALONE. I am not LONEly) and have a pretty good time.

My dogs are my crutch. If I ever get bored there is always a hound to ride bike, walk, take swimming, play fetch, rub their bellies (although getting my belly rubbed might be nice.... but not from a dude :D ).

What I have noticed is that there always seem to be some SINGLE event, a turning point that occurs that defines the relationship between two people. It could be as simple as borrowing a tool, or saying no to an invitation to something... but that ONE decision seems to drop the persons status to 'acquaintance' from 'buddy' and rarely does it ever escalate higher than that.

To the poster that made the comment that life if not like t.v. with a group of tight male friends... BRAVO, SIR. Most epic statement of the day. Plus if friendships were like on t.v. we would be eating ever 17 minutes and have way to much drama about dumb stuff.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 44
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 8/25/2012 1:54:23 PM
I actually wish I had done certain things differently. I was invited to one of my college friends birthday parties a few years ago, but I couldn't make it. Who knows that could of introduced me to some new friends and maybe become one of his good friends. He's still on my facebook, but I haven't talked to him in a very long time. Thinking maybe this door has closed now.


Only one way to find out.

I've tried that, and found that people I never DID hang out with were cool with hanging out, some friends were still the same "kind" of friends, and people I thought were "close" friends wanted nothing to do with me.

Bored? Lonely?

Was buddy someone you got along with and shared attitudes and interests with?

If so; wtf not let him know its been too long, and you'd like to get together sometime. Heck; he may be in the same place you are.

P.s. "Friends" can "also" help your relationship go south; if they're not the right kind of friends. (just sayin)
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 45
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 8/25/2012 8:40:57 PM
I have a cool circle of friends, but that hasn't really brought me any closer to finding love. I'm in the same situation you are in, I'll be 34, and I never married or had kids. To me, I feel it is an epic failure, so I just do my best to succeed in other aspects of my life. Needless to say, this site hasn't brought me any closer to finding true love either. I just need to stay busy and pretend it doesn't bother me, and that hasn't made the problem go away, but it has helped me cope with it in a more positive way. As far as bars and clubs, I feel really uncomfortable in there, too much hostility. Some of them are alright, but the atmosphere isn't for me.
 gr4phix
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 46
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Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 8/29/2012 3:03:54 PM
dude

You may not realise this, but have you thought about backpacking? You should go travelling or take shorts trips and stay in hostels. I was in the same situation as you a few years ago. I went away and backpacked around Australia... I met so many people, had a great time... it changed my life!
 masterotaku
Joined: 7/20/2012
Msg: 47
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 8/29/2012 5:29:40 PM
Part of having a social life is being social. Though it sounds simple, it's really all about just getting out there and trying....perhaps over and over again....until you find like minded people you can relate to.

Coworkers is a good place to start. Many of my current friends I made this way, or made as friends through socially interacting with co-workers.

If you're unaccustomed to just getting yourself out there, just keep a few things in mind. First, no matter how odd, awkward, or strange you might think you are, there are plenty of people more so than you. And some of them will have interests that dovetail with your own. Second, you can do the most b*tsh*t crazy things in public, and the worst that generally happens is someone stares or giggles....and then 60 seconds later they are done.

Embrace the fact that society, like an ocean, pretty much smoothes over everything. This is a liberating thing to realize. :)
 AlexShasta
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 48
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 8/29/2012 5:44:11 PM
Your situation is identical to mine. When I was in high school I had one or two good friends. When we went our separate ways I found myself feeling left out. I've always had a difficult time making new friends because I can be quiet, shy, and I'm a deep thinker. This issue is not a quick fix. Relocating will not fix it, because being shy in social situations is a life-long issue that cripple can lead to extreme lonliness. Recently I discovered Meet Up (look it up), it's a social arena where groups from all over different areas of California (not sure if it's in other states) meet up and go for drinks, play pool, hike, bike...pretty much anything under the sun. It's really helped my social life. I actually have something to do on (most) Friday nights. I'm still a work in progress. There are times when I have to force myself to be social, but I'm getting through it one "Hello" at a time.
Look up the name on the internet. It may work for you, but if you're anything like me you MUST help yourself change your situation. You've got to put in the work. What comes easy for some, feels frightening to others.
 tygerpawn
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 49
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 9/5/2012 2:14:56 PM
^^^^^ so when are you exiting the US of A , go over seas and be with your brides from a foreign land and stop wasting peoples time
 chazzc1980
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 50
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 9/5/2012 7:09:28 PM
^^^^^ so when are you exiting the US of A , go over seas and be with your brides from a foreign land and stop wasting peoples time


You know, sounds like roger33 painted a pretty accurate picture of the realities of socializing and dating in the US... Even if you don't agree, I don't see the need to be insulting but then again maybe that's another problem with America, too many ***holes these days.
 Lilbitofsugaandspice
Joined: 6/30/2011
Msg: 51
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 9/5/2012 7:23:17 PM
Studies show a 20% divorce rate compared to the American 50-60% divorce rate. He is not sttaing its 20% of .004% f marriages. Which equates to 500 per year compared with 2.25 million total marriages. There is not enough to tell how successful these relationships are. I think this guy is a marriage broker trying to sell on POF. Ill bet anything he owns a website.
 B_forU
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 52
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Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 9/29/2012 1:39:44 AM
Whatever you do don't listen to this.
Rural America is not the answer.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 53
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 9/29/2012 9:03:22 AM

Same problem here. Im 36 with no kids and a small circle of freinds and on this ste i just get ignored all the time.


That's not entirely a bad thing.

Many of the women on here are "not" great catches.
 kclady42
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 54
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 9/29/2012 5:35:39 PM
i am the same no close friends. i did have a best friend that stabbed me in the back and have a hard time getting close to people ever sence
 wolfluvr1234
Joined: 8/20/2012
Msg: 55
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 9/29/2012 5:45:44 PM
Damn, that kinda hurts. I'd like to think I'm a decent catch, not perfect but......
 saw8wave8
Joined: 8/22/2012
Msg: 56
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 10/2/2012 12:39:04 PM
If you want friends, wife, kids, you will get them. If you don't want friends, wife, kids, you will not get them.
 DMV_Living
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 57
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 10/12/2012 1:34:50 PM
It's happen to me as well. Had a group of friends through the high school and twenties. We all got married, kids but lost contact with many. Now single and it's pretty quiet.

When I moved back up to MD earlier this year, I decided I wasn't going to hang around the house any more so I joined Meetup. It has just about any social activity. I love playing sports like football, tennis, volleyball so I joined those groups and joined a 30's/40's group and a couple of others. It's been an awesome experience since I've done things that I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't joined.....AND meeting people. Heading to a cabin n the mountains next weekend with a group of them.

If you want to change things, then make it happen.
 Robert122077
Joined: 10/3/2012
Msg: 58
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 10/12/2012 3:46:57 PM

If you want friends, wife, kids, you will get them. If you don't want friends, wife, kids, you will not get them.


Truer words have never been spoken. Now the question is, why do I NOT want these things?
 FrzLawyer
Joined: 8/14/2011
Msg: 59
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 10/14/2012 7:44:19 PM
A) The women your friends introduce you to can be... Well, its only happened a few times, and they've been nice, just not women I would have picked for myself.

B) Do you distinguish between "friends" and "buddies"? I have plenty of buddies, but only a handful of friends.

I don't know that close friends are all that more common than women you can be close to.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 60
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 10/15/2012 1:53:04 PM
I do I have only two best friends and everything was hook g good until those two got married at almost at the same time. I can even come to talk to them bc they aliways so busy with their husbands or never home. We used to do so many thing together. I work a lot supporting stuff from one paycheck is close to impossible so only time I have is weekend Unfortunally that the time when husbands have off too. So I have been alone with guy problems for a while so I def hear u on that one
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 61
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 10/15/2012 6:43:31 PM
Recently I discovered Meet Up


They have something like that in Ontario too; or, at least, in my area.

It actually seems like a good time!

A girl who was hoping to rent her house out to me told me all about it; bi-wkly house parties (ok, bbqs and volleyball games, softball games etc) essentially!

Really; when I'm ready to get back on the horse, and there doesnt seem to be any good options, I'm there in a flash. (why not right?)
 Iamhereonthissite
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 62
Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 10/16/2012 6:18:49 AM

1st thing that popped into my head...Get out of the city!


Really?! I don't think that would work. I live in a more rural area where most people are married, some marry quite young, too. This place is different from the big city, in that you can't approach a woman at a bookstore or some public place without her boyfriend or having a ring on her finger. lol And most people kind of stick to their own social network they grew up with since high school.

I did have a couple of married friends, but they were too busy with their wives to do anything.

I lost my social circle of local friends when they all got married or involved with someone. It's such a fishbowl community, I had to seek a social life IN the city pretty much back during that time.

So, thus I went to the big city to meet others.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 63
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Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:21:48 PM
Esp. If you are in a big city, have you tried www.meetup.com ?
Lots of interest groups, many are free & I've met some of my best friends there.
(No, I'm not affiliated with them!)
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Not having a social circle of friends sure hasn't helped, anyone else have this problem?