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 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 19
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Waking her up with sexPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
When I use to have sex and relationships, I really hated it when men would try to have sex while I am was sleeping.
Now I am glad my cats are sleeping close to me. I do wish there was a real man in my life in all the ways that matter but I must keep on and continue searching for that hopeful exciting adventure and event. If I ever find what I seek, please do not try to have sex with me when I am sleeping. There is a time for sex and trying to have sex while I am sleeping is not the time.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 22
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/27/2012 7:17:34 AM

There is more to fulfillment than just intercourse when you want it and how you want it. Pleasuring a man should bring you pleasure. Making love is touching the entire body...even when sleeping and most assuredly when awakening.


Nicely said.
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 23
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/27/2012 7:32:04 AM
Im serious im always afraid ill pee. When I cum I gush but if I have a full bladder pee will come out too. That's always worried me about wake up sex.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 25
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/27/2012 8:10:27 AM
Geezz Scottish..could it be that there IS a loving relationship involved?
I did that many times during my marriage. There was no control involved.

I worked nights..came home, relaxed some, went to bed..snuggled up..and woke my late wife up and blissful love making.
If you haven't had such a relationship..you are missing out.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 26
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/27/2012 8:35:15 AM

I would think this is more a control issue. That a man who seeks sex with a woman who can not refuse him needs to be in charge. And women who enjoy this is very submissive. I am sure you understand not all women are submissive and seek nothing but to please a man. In fact that is a foreign concept to some of us OR we would be in a 1950's style relationship. I am more of the one who likes to be in Control. I am the Dom but I am not the kind who like totally submissive men..

Seriously??
I agree with Ping.......this isn't about "control" and completely about sharing pleasure.
And who said she couldn't "refuse him"??? She's not unconcious and he is "waking her up".
 RosieDixon93
Joined: 7/6/2012
Msg: 27
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/27/2012 9:47:37 AM
Being woken up at 3 in the morning because your boyfriend has a boner is not attractive. I've fallen asleep simply because I'm tired! We can have sex when we both wake up by ourselves! Crikey! :P
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 29
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/27/2012 12:44:14 PM

Good Lord woman...I just read your profile and aside from being intrigued by your photos I was wondering... you like sex at all?


SPOT ON !!!!!
 GarnerGirl71
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 37
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/28/2012 4:59:05 AM
This is predominantly a male fantasy. Even when asleep we know our partners breathing habits, sounds,and touch. Subconciously the trust is there. Waking a partner with sex should be a gentle, loving experience.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 40
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/28/2012 8:18:46 AM
I tend to to be the one that does the waking up.

But I was in a relationship with a guy would get me worked up in my sleep and then wake me up for consent. Sometimes by the point he woke me up I was almost incapable of speech but he always said no consent, no sex. So I had to respond for him to continue! Always told him in the future to just keep going, but he always said consent is required each and every time.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 41
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/28/2012 8:52:18 AM
Hamilton
"But I was in a relationship with a guy would get me worked up in my sleep and then wake me up for consent. Sometimes by the point he woke me up I was almost incapable of speech but he always said no consent, no sex. So I had to respond for him to continue! Always told him in the future to just keep going, but he always said consent is required each and every time."

I can understand your frustration that you feel like it is some sort of legalistic step that inhibits intimacy.... but in today's world when a divorce happens there are cases in the US where non consensual sex among married partners has been ruled as an act of criminal rape.... This is quite important where there is abuse and other extreme acts of violation to a person and their body....

I myself was requiring verbalized permission everytime there was intimate interaction... and it was interesting that during testimony in court my ex testified to implied non consensual sex acts.... and under oath she had to affirm that it was my practice and without fail required verbal assent to intimacy each and every time.... the tactic was to shame or threaten me with potential criminal proceedings if certain economic concessions were not made in exchange for her silence...

In that moment my life could have become very complicated and expensive to defend myself from fraudulent criminal charges.... of course the facts would have been shown and exoneration was a given outcome.... but the costs of legal defense would remain.... Also remember there is no statute of limitations for allegations of rape.... so any person at anytime (spouse, child, former spouse) can have false memories or devise a strategy to prosecute such a claim for any other reason... usually economic...

QueenSaru
"It's different if you wake them up, ask, and then get to it, but if you're waking them up via penetration, to me there's a big issue of dubious consent (and no, being in a relationship does not mean an all access pass of consent, no is ALWAYS an option)."

so sad but true..... this is what society has become for relationships when couples fail to negotiate effective mutual boundaries
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 42
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/28/2012 9:09:54 AM
Gentleplus

I do understand and yes I would feel frustrated because I felt that I had given consent. But as you pointed out, consent cannot be implied. I am so sorry that someone put you through that and it proves that my ex was right and he needed the assurance that I was truly aware of what was going on. Not that I would ever have accused him of anything.

A sad commentary on our society.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 43
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/28/2012 1:24:09 PM
There are serious minded professionals who have offered "Sexual Consent Forms" for free public use... a good reference is

http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/DrAvaPages/Sexual_Consent_Form.html



So to summarize why I created The Sexual Consent Form, here are 10 good reasons to use one before engaging in sex:

1. The Sexual Consent form is a cautionary way for one person to ask permission to have sex with another.
2 There will be no confusion or miscommunication as far as sexual consent is concerned by both parties.
3 Nobody is obligated to sign the Sexual Consent Form if they are not ready for sexual intimacy.
4 The Sexual Consent Form can be a form of foreplay since you get to talk about safer sex and sexual behavior before rushing into it. This can create open communication and lead to mutual trust and respect.
5 You and your partner get to choose which sexual activities you want to indulge in and list special requests in writing so there are no unrealistic expectations or misunderstandings.
6 Women can benefit by signing The Sexual Consent Form even if they change their minds in the middle of the sex act. 7 However, instead of using the words “NO” or “STOP” which have been used frivolously, playfully, and teasingly in the past and are not always taken seriously, I created the phrase CODE RED which will not be mistaken for anything other than “HIGH ALERT,” hands off, you’ve gone too far. You may be interested to know that non-sexual “Code Words” are often used as an ‘Out Clause’ in consensual B & D/Bondage and Domination and S & M/ Sado Masochism activities so that people don’t get carried away.
8 The Sexual Consent Form can protect men from manipulative women who may bring false charges of sexual misconduct for financial gain. Remember that even men who have no assets need to protect themselves from false accusations because they can lose everything including their property, freedom, and their reputation until found innocent.
9 The Sexual Consent form is NOT a rape tool. On the contrary, I believe that it could prevent rapes because most rapists attack total strangers and they are not likely to use a Sexual Consent Form to coerce a victim.
10 As for the argument that a woman can be forced into signing it, I contend that a handwriting expert could probably identify a forced signature.
11 Of course any contract is contestable, including a surgery consent form, prenuptial, or Will. But if I were accused, I would rather go to court with a signed Sexual Consent Form than without one. The Sexual Consent Form would be admissible and relevant as evidence of consent if signed by the alleged victim.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 46
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/29/2012 7:14:53 AM

.I guess secretly they want a stranger to take over them sexually.May be a dark fantasy? who knows what is the logic behind it


Uhm.......No!
the logic behind it is sharing pleasure with your partner......whom we know is the one in bed beside us!
Geez the armchair psychology is rampant these days in these forums!!
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 47
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:04:10 AM
^^^^^^^^


<div class="quote">Geez the armchair psychology is rampant these days in these forums!!

No kidding! Take something that is part of a loving relationship and turn it into a dark fantasy. Just because it doesn't turn you on doesn't make it wrong for others.

I get what Gentleplus has said about consent and I like the form he posted. But for the others: control? Dark? Disturbing? No, parting of a sexual relationship between two consenting adults.
 PlanoTom
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 59
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/1/2012 9:50:59 PM
some like it, some dont.

done it and was the hero..... and done it and was elbowed HARD
 whoknows_Haha
Joined: 5/18/2012
Msg: 60
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:32:42 PM
really, it all depends boy! different strokes for different folks
 sxyblu
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 61
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/5/2012 4:23:28 PM
I think that is the way a woman should be put to sleep and waken up
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 67
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:16:01 PM
I wake up in severe pain every time I wake up. I would sure 'nuff be pi$$ed off if I woke up with some guy poking at me. My husband understands this and looks for more opportune times. But he likes it when I wake up first, get it together, and surprise him.
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 69
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/7/2012 8:23:20 AM

he one im with now it seems like she'ed rather cut my head off before anything can start, not to mention our sex life sucks i cant touch her unless she "wants" it and i don't/can't turn her on anymore no matter what i do


That sucks man, why do you stay in the relationship? I would not put up with that kind of abuse at all.....
 GarnerGirl71
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 70
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/7/2012 10:07:32 AM
^^^ I wouldn't call it abuse, but I wouldn't stay in that relationship without a darn good reason either. I know there are times when you just don't want to be messed with, but that sounds awfully extreme...
 lifegoeson73
Joined: 7/26/2012
Msg: 72
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/15/2012 10:47:47 AM
If I could get sex every morning before I went to work..............................good Lord, I would be a whole lot happier and probably more productive! lol
 NananeeBooboo85
Joined: 8/1/2012
Msg: 74
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/20/2012 4:57:37 AM
sex in the morning ;) who isnt a fan? hell just let it be good
 _Full_of_Awesome_
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 77
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/20/2012 1:06:51 PM

Back to the OP however, one of the charges levied against Assange on his extradition warrant boils down to "waking up a consensual sexual partner with sex".

Technically you cant give consent in your sleep....


That's a much different situation from one where the woman -- while awake -- consents to the man having sex with her while she is asleep.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 78
Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/20/2012 4:34:43 PM

That's a much different situation from one where the woman -- while awake -- consents to the man having sex with her while she is asleep.


Apparently you missed the posts earlier in this thread where consent was discussed. Apparently you can't consent ahead of time. Look at the earlier posts regarding consent, it is all very interesting especially from the man's point of view.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 79
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Waking her up with sex
Posted: 8/20/2012 5:46:23 PM
see post #46 signed consent form
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