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 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 46
Single vs. DivorcedPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Life would be too easy if things were simple
 RatPack1
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 47
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 6:04:34 AM
Find something else to worry about, who the hell cares, sheesh, and we wonder why the world is in the crapper, if more people worried about the important things, kids, the quality of life, the future, we would be in far better shape.

But no, we worry about titles, and who is calling us what, and why we cannot pick up on the net, and why don't we get emailed back, shit, and why was I read and deleted.

Who cares!

Look around you, see the blight, the pain, the death in Iraq, the decline of education, the loss of our basic civil rights, and take action.

No, let's go watch Fear Factor, or Who Wants To Be A Hilton, or Dr Phil, and hide, only thinking about stupid shit like this!

No wonder the world sucks!

OMG am I gonna miss the new episode of the OC tonight?

Get off your ass and make a difference, in the big picture, does this really matter?

No it does not, but since most people are so self absorbed, and want to whine about titles, divorced, single, etc, nothing will change.

Those who see wrong, and who have the ability to take action, have the responsibility to take action!

 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 48
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 6:09:30 AM
You're right Ratpack!
 RatPack1
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 49
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 6:15:32 AM
Thanks, this stupid shit just pisses me off.

There are so many more important things to worry about, and nobody cares!

Until that changes, grave times are ahead for us, I fear!
 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 50
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 6:22:01 AM
It's not that people don't care about what else is going on in the world. I'm sure that they do, but sometimes it's the little things that really bother them. And, we as humans should be there for them, to listen to them voice their concerns. No matter how big or how little.
 RatPack1
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 51
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 6:51:35 AM
Little things, why do people let that bother them, thats what I was trying to say, they are little things.

Experience the death of a loved one, have kid in the war, worry about the future, will my kids be safe in the future, will they be okay, that is what counts.

It is time to voice about things that really matter, until that happen nothing will change.

This site has just become the 5th largest dating site, that is alot of people, who can make a difference.

These forums are great, I love them, but for the most part, it is a place to whine, about things that in 30 days, will not matter.

There are people here that have over 1800 posts, and you know what they do, they ask why cannot I find my true love, hmm, well get off the net, and go out, engage somebody!

Nope, they sit and ask stupid shit questions, like what do you think about born again virgins, lol, what the hell is that crap, but it happens, there is no such thing, but if we can find a title for it, and slap it on, oh well lets call ourselves that, and then lets go out and look for validation.
 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 53
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 6:59:50 AM
I agree with the Born Again Virgins, lol, I think that is a bit much. Those are people with too much time on their hands, lol. But it gets them heard. I've read the forums and some are really good. Then again, some are like the "Born Again Virgins"
People might post silly things like that to get their mind off of other more important issues that they are having trouble dealing with. :)
 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 55
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:08:16 AM
The world would be more screwed up than it is. I would much rather listen/read about the little things that don't matter, that we can possibly change, than to listen/read about things we cannot change. That's just depressing. And, life can be depressing enough.
 musicmanpvb
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 56
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:12:14 AM
The one forum I stay away from on here is Current Events - I get that all day long!

Although there I some 'serious' issues on this site that I sometimes get involved with - it's the goofy fun ones that I really enjoy.

There are some things that go on here that are HYSTERICAL! I almost choked last night reading a post while I was eating dinner from laughing so hard.

I'm with both of you on this one!!

Hey dart - nice to agree on something!!
 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 58
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:14:39 AM
Yeah, you are technically single, so why say divorced? It shouldn't matter :)
 musicmanpvb
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 60
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:17:30 AM
OT - truthfully, I joked about credit earlier in this thread. But here in the states where EVERYTHING you do is based on your FICO score (credit rating)

I'll bet you there is a difference in your rating based on whether you are single or divorced.

And there are probably a million other bits of beaurocratic nonsentia where it makes a difference...
 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 61
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:21:00 AM
musicman. It is nice that we agree on something :)
 RatPack1
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 62
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:25:57 AM
Hey Babs

I sent this to you in email, and I wanted to post it here as well.

I was not trying to flame you, I really have no idea how to flame.

I saw a topic and I responded, nothing more, nothing less, sorry if I hit you, that was not my intention.

I am not up on all the rules of engagement when it comes to the net, I see it, I jump!

Again I apoligize and I will throw this into the thread!
 musicmanpvb
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 63
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:29:25 AM
dart - I wanted to send you a quick email - but I'm too old!!!

just wanted to say I truly admire your honesty over in that other place - you've got guts my dear!

OT: I'm a convert - I'm changing my status to Single on all official forms from now on....
 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 64
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:29:59 AM
That was very nice ratpack
 RatPack1
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 65
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:40:57 AM
For the record, I just wanted to get people to really think about what is important, in an attempt to help.

I used to worry about the same things at one time, now I don't why, because life is so short, and you only get one shot.

In re reading my posts, I can see where I came off as somewhat of a, oh the hell with it, a jerk, that was not my intent.

I lost my dad, and before that happened, I was so wrapped up in similar things that in the end, did not and do not matter. It took his death to wake me up.

I miss him every day, and sometimes well, anyway!

I am sorry!
 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 66
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 7:45:13 AM
I'm sure you wont, but don't let it bother you. Sometimes the things that are said, especially when being read, can come across wrong, even though it's not intended that way.
 HappyOne7
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 67
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 9:31:54 AM
At Leafy one - You changed it! Good for you.

OT - Maybe if we sent enough e-mails to Admin requesting an expansion of the Marital Selection criteria they’d consider it or even provide a freestyle box for you to use a term you see fitting. There are so many good, and Fun, terms out there for the Now Not Married crowd, for example:

Mate challenged, Previously loved, Gently used, Slightly seasoned, Mildly used, Seasoned, Roughly used, Seasoned veteran, Non-committed, & a 1,000 more.

Ones I’m partial to: Free, Freed, Open to suggestions, Options open, Available, & Hey, I got my life back!
 dartgirl
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 69
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 9:38:46 AM
Musicman-Thank you for that. I would rather admit my faults than be in denial and act like I'm perfect, because god only knows,........ from that mistake I have learned. I live in a glass house, so I don't throw stones. :) Have a great day!
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 7/30/2005 4:42:21 PM
Whatever your experience we have the power to be someone else's sensation.

Be what you, not cponvention, choose to be!
 pro-filer
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 72
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 9/4/2009 5:24:18 PM

who's going to come make you change it the "single/divorce" cops--

I'll bet you think they don't exist, but I see them on POF all the time "How dare you lie and say you're single when really you're divorced! A person like you probably cheats on their taxes and steals candy from kids, too!"

ETA: oops, Zeke, I'm not following you around, really! I promise! :)
 crystal_light1111
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 73
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 9/4/2009 5:38:19 PM
I'm guessing it's for legal reasons...for example...if they're trying to avoid paying child or spousal support....legally , listing divorce is a must for many reasons....inlcuding the support payment issues, there are other things such as bankruptcy, debt repayment during a marriage, tax reasons, the list goes on and on......this is just an easier way for the government to catch you if your trying to avoid paying up.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 74
view profile
History
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 9/7/2009 5:22:41 AM
I think you are only single, if you've never been married. Then it is widowed or divorced. Only true way to say the real status with one word.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 9/7/2009 5:42:46 AM
I believe that there is a distinction in Canada on this...and that 'single' only refers to never marrieds.

That said, I list myself as divorced to provide clarity about my situation. If I come across a man around my age and he doesn't have kids and he's listed as 'single'...I'm wondering....so I choose 'divorced' because it answers that question...

I prefer to look for men that have been divorced and widowed that have had their kids...or who have kids, since I tend to find that there is a difference in a guy that has been single with ltrs but no children...versus guys that have had kids and have gone the whole route. That kind of reciprocal understanding of family life and demands brings a particular level of empathy and tolerance with it in most men; which I find to be an important quality that I'm looking for.
 ASimpleSoutherner
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 76
Single vs. Divorced
Posted: 9/7/2009 6:00:51 AM
It's just for government records. For whatever the reason is, and I recently ran across one. If you've never been married you can possibly draw more money on your social security, but once you get married that option no longer applies to you.

You're no longer single, even though my lawyer told me I was once again a single man as soon as my divorce was final. I never had kids. I wanted them, but never had them.

I choose divorced, even though my marriage was over after two months, and went on for 2 1/2 more years even though I was unofficially divorced. Also single people don't know the hurt of divorce. The emotional roller coaster that comes in getting over the person is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I watched my dad go through it when I was 17. And at 26 I went through it.

the status on dating sites is preference. I'd rather actually know if somebody had been divorced. Because you learn so much about yourself, and moments of clarity come from being divorced.

Baggage doesn't necessarily come with being divorce. Single people can have baggage after a relationship goes south & ends.

Also I've got to mention children shouldn't be the main reason for getting married. Children come out of love. Love should be the reason for getting married, and the sole promise of working it out, and finding more reasons why you love the person you're with.

But I'm getting off topic, and didn't mean to.
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