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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 226
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?Page 10 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Miami man, i see your point in trying to show your personality in your profile instead of just listing your qualities, but this can be difficult to do. It's easy to use the sense of humor example because then you can follow up with a joke, but how are you supposed to show you are hard working, for example? I feel like the only way to do that is to give examples, which I have already done. I recently expanded my profile. I hope men actually read it, but people seem to have short attention spans if its long. Honestly 9/10 of my messages i receive are copy and paste. I do send out messages, but I don't use the spam method. I send out fewer messages of good quality. Yesterday I searched 4 pages and messaged 1 guy. I take a slower but better quality approach. And now that I expanded my profile to show more personality I am not getting any fewer or more messages, its the same. and still copy and paste. But now I have to ask this question, why haven't you taken your own advice? Lol your profile is super short, just curious. And women do send out messages, so I'm hoping some of you receive at least some? I'm sorry if you don't. But thanks for the advice, i think my old profile was too much of a list.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 227
view profile
History
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/27/2012 8:00:07 AM
I'd say I get responses from a little over half the women I message.

I avoid lame, boring messages that compliment her looks or ask how her day went. I try to be funny, creative, ask a question or two that is actually engaging, and say something that shows I read her profile.
 hithereperson21
Joined: 8/13/2012
Msg: 228
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/27/2012 9:39:18 AM
Blueeyes2410, not sure if you'll see this I'm new to these forums. But I've been trying to message you for a while now, not sure if you're even interested. But my account was flagged for IE, for honestly no reason. I even posted about it because I just realized that's why I can't message some that I am interested in. Anyway if you see this and are interested shoot me a message since I can at least respond if you initiate and I'd love to get to know you better :)

Sorry for the off topic post but it was super random that I was reading this and she posted, kind of a coincidence and I believe in them sometimes...
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 229
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/27/2012 10:37:14 AM

Blueeyes2410, not sure if you'll see this I'm new to these forums. But I've been trying to message you for a while now, not sure if you're even interested. But my account was flagged for IE, for honestly no reason. I even posted about it because I just realized that's why I can't message some that I am interested in. Anyway if you see this and are interested shoot me a message since I can at least respond if you initiate and I'd love to get to know you better :)

Sorry for the off topic post but it was super random that I was reading this and she posted, kind of a coincidence and I believe in them sometimes...


I remember you! But I can't remember what happened? What's IE? Yeah that's pretty cool to run into you on here, I would think that most people on here don't check out the forums? That's a nice coincidence, I'll be sure to send you a message in a few minutes :)
--------
I can't figure out how to multi-quote, and this forum is limiting my posts to 3 a day, but to the poster a few responses up who said generic "hi how are you" is boring and gave an example of the messages he sent, those sound pretty good to me. Again, if you research this you will all over the place to make your messages interesting for better reply rates.
-------
miami man,
You know I fixed up my profile and the first message I get is from someone who stated "casual dating/ no commitment" on their profile?? argg!!! See people don't always read :( I made some things in bold in my profile now lol, still don't think it will help. And I also kinda feel uncomfortable with the longer profile, I think if it's short they will read it. Unless I make it short but better? anyways its always a work in progress... but no profile will appeal to all.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 230
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/27/2012 3:45:19 PM
IE means that you emailed somebody looking for an intimate encounter. She has it stated in her profile that you cannot contact her if you contacted someone looking for an IE. You will not be able to contact anybody that has this restriction on their profile.
 mizeat
Joined: 7/30/2012
Msg: 231
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/27/2012 4:08:39 PM

IE means that you emailed somebody looking for an intimate encounter. She has it stated in her profile that you cannot contact her if you contacted someone looking for an IE. You will not be able to contact anybody that has this restriction on their profile.


Being he's 6'5 and contacted her on the forums negates the fact in a chicks eyes that he might've carpet bombed and sent a message to a chick with IE by mistake. It wouldn't make much difference if he actually purposefully sent it to a chick searching for IE anyway to chicks who spent their whole lives with the wrong type of men. You've just gotta laugh at this nonsense.
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 232
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/28/2012 4:23:27 AM
Thank you miami man for the compliments and advice. No, it's true, its better to somehow show your qualities or give examples rather than giving a plain list like everyone else. I think you should try again, you never know. I hear success stories so i still have hope. I've met people who lied about their photos too, ugh oh well. I try to be careful with who I meet now. But I think there is no perfect profile, ane no matter what you say there always will be people who don't read it. But you're right, those serious guys will actually read the profile so it should be well written. I guess mine isn't that long, it should be fine, well i always make changes. but when I read profiles I do like to see well written interesting ones. So thanks :)
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 233
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/28/2012 3:09:09 PM
In the end it's a numbers game. You can't just have one good quality (see: nice guy cop out), you need as many of the following traits (and so many others) as possible:
Attraction
Humor
Communication skills
Job (the better it is, the better you are)
Intelligence
Kindness
Common interests

You can't have one positive attribute and hope to compete on equal footing with someone who has two (and so on). That said, as blueeyes painstakingly explained there are certain things within your control. Namely speaking, how good and what type of message you write. Will it guarantee a response? Hell no, but it's one more positive thing you have going for you.
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 234
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/28/2012 3:21:22 PM
About 80%. Of course I actually read the entire profile carefully before writing and I don't carpet bomb with a generic letter. I probably write one letter for every 20 profiles I read. The rest are mostly fine, just obviously not a match and I don't want to waste my time or hers.
 matt051177
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 235
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/30/2012 2:11:22 PM

Mizeat, man, 24 yrs old, ahhh, those were the days, lets have this conversation when you are 10 years older bro. Being a manchild is nice when you are in your prime. Enjoy it while it lasts.


Just because the man is only 24, doesn’t mean he is incapable of understanding irrefutable truth.

I’m 35, and all I can say is I wish I had mizeat’s grasp on the obvious when I was his age, because all through high school and my early 20’s I didn’t understand a thing about how to get attention from women. What ended up happening was I retreated to the solace of relationships where the women capitalized on my naivety and lack of self-esteem.

Luckily for me, I started to come around by the time I was 25-26 and did all of the simple “self-improvement” things mizeat has been mentioning over and over in this thread: I started learning how to read food labels and eating healthy, I started exercising, ditched the glasses for contacts, completely overhauled my wardrobe, and “practiced” interacting with women at every chance I got, regardless of whether it was an 18 year-old in the coffee shop drive through or a middle-aged mom working the register at Walmart. The idea, of course, was not to “get with” those women, but to build confidence in approaching them casually. That is, after all, the hard part. I remember being floored at just how much changing my approach changed how women seemed to respond. I quickly got addicted to the “good feeling” of making progress, so it made me work at it more and more.

Fast forward 10 years to the present and I’m not calling myself a lady-slayer by any stretch, but I will say this: I never (ever) feel like I have any trouble getting messages from women on PoF and dates with interesting and attractive women both online and off (all from my homeland, incidentally).

The above is a real-life story, so take it for what it’s worth.

Another thing I’d like to commend mizeat for is his no-nonsense take on the “just be yourself” bullshit. That mentality is nothing but a shelter for yellow-bellied wimps, and is the very thing that prevented me for so long from seeing the truth about how things actually work in the real world. And just to be crystal clear, no, the implication here is not that you should be “phony”, so do yourself a favor and resist the urge to use that as an excuse not to work on yourself. Come on, folks think about it—you can make changes to your lifestyle, get in shape, stop dressing like an ordinary dweeb, and make regular attempts to communicate with the opposite sex without selling out on the core principles, values, and beliefs that make you who you are. Not only will these efforts bring a sea-change to your dating success, but you will become a healthier human being overall—physically healthier by means of ditching the spare tire and getting yourself in shape, and mentally healthier by means of the positive vibes that derive from self-confidence.

The catch, of course, is that tending to these areas takes initiative, effort, and courage. The woe-is-me whiners would prefer to sit on their couches in their cargo pants and baggy golf shirts with a bag of chips and a diet coke, contemplating their pudgy navels, cursing the world for expecting them to “be somebody else” in order to get dates. Sorry guys, but take it from a reformed be-yourselfer: you can cling to that mentality like a thumb-sucking toddler on a security blanket and spend the rest of your life pulling your wang, or you can get out of your comfort zone, make some changes, and find out what it’s like to win a hard-fought battle and reap the rewards. It’s your call, but time’s a wastin’.
 Jozorizo
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 236
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/30/2012 7:31:00 PM
Hey bro, I've sent a ton of messages no replies. I just move on. The only thing I can say is work on yourself, stay busy, do things that you enjoy. Resist the tempting thought that you're a failure, remember to love yourself.
 mizeat
Joined: 7/30/2012
Msg: 237
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/30/2012 7:47:44 PM

Just because the man is only 24, doesn’t mean he is incapable of understanding irrefutable truth.

I’m 35, and all I can say is I wish I had mizeat’s grasp on the obvious when I was his age, because all through high school and my early 20’s I didn’t understand a thing about how to get attention from women. What ended up happening was I retreated to the solace of relationships where the women capitalized on my naivety and lack of self-esteem.

Luckily for me, I started to come around by the time I was 25-26 and did all of the simple “self-improvement” things mizeat has been mentioning over and over in this thread: I started learning how to read food labels and eating healthy, I started exercising, ditched the glasses for contacts, completely overhauled my wardrobe, and “practiced” interacting with women at every chance I got, regardless of whether it was an 18 year-old in the coffee shop drive through or a middle-aged mom working the register at Walmart. The idea, of course, was not to “get with” those women, but to build confidence in approaching them casually. That is, after all, the hard part. I remember being floored at just how much changing my approach changed how women seemed to respond. I quickly got addicted to the “good feeling” of making progress, so it made me work at it more and more.

Fast forward 10 years to the present and I’m not calling myself a lady-slayer by any stretch, but I will say this: I never (ever) feel like I have any trouble getting messages from women on PoF and dates with interesting and attractive women both online and off (all from my homeland, incidentally).

The above is a real-life story, so take it for what it’s worth.

Another thing I’d like to commend mizeat for is his no-nonsense take on the “just be yourself” bullshit. That mentality is nothing but a shelter for yellow-bellied wimps, and is the very thing that prevented me for so long from seeing the truth about how things actually work in the real world. And just to be crystal clear, no, the implication here is not that you should be “phony”, so do yourself a favor and resist the urge to use that as an excuse not to work on yourself. Come on, folks think about it—you can make changes to your lifestyle, get in shape, stop dressing like an ordinary dweeb, and make regular attempts to communicate with the opposite sex without selling out on the core principles, values, and beliefs that make you who you are. Not only will these efforts bring a sea-change to your dating success, but you will become a healthier human being overall—physically healthier by means of ditching the spare tire and getting yourself in shape, and mentally healthier by means of the positive vibes that derive from self-confidence.

The catch, of course, is that tending to these areas takes initiative, effort, and courage. The woe-is-me whiners would prefer to sit on their couches in their cargo pants and baggy golf shirts with a bag of chips and a diet coke, contemplating their pudgy navels, cursing the world for expecting them to “be somebody else” in order to get dates. Sorry guys, but take it from a reformed be-yourselfer: you can cling to that mentality like a thumb-sucking toddler on a security blanket and spend the rest of your life pulling your wang, or you can get out of your comfort zone, make some changes, and find out what it’s like to win a hard-fought battle and reap the rewards. It’s your call, but time’s a wastin’.


Exactly. Unfortunately most dudes like Roger33 are set in their nancy boy "I want it all by just being myself" mode and come online thinking this is some virtual vending machine that grants all their wishes with out them doing anything but sending a limp wristed message. They'd be better off doing Build-A-Bear for something to hug while crying in their cribs that the world isn't fair as the rest of us improve and don't change our core values just to get a date.
 mizeat
Joined: 7/30/2012
Msg: 238
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/30/2012 7:53:19 PM

And everyone has the right to their opinion. Hey, if you guys are happy with your dating life, by all means, keep doing what you are doing. But as they say, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If the US dating scene doesnt offer what you are looking for, then by all means, expand your options. Why sit and waste into nothingness and continue with a dateless life? From the constant posts by guys who are complaining about the lack of results and no luck etc, seems to me there is quite an epidemic of this out there. If improving your self will open up the dating options to what you want, then by all means, improve yourself . Self improvement is always a good thing and can help to one degree or another. But brothas, you'd be surprised at whats options exist outside of the matrix. Either way, good luck to all!


So why not improve yourselves rather than doing the same thing over and over by "just being yourselves" till you go insane and think that your answers are these bombshells "waiting for you" across the world because they "love you just for you"? I know. You'd rather complain like a chick, don't do anything. No self reflection. Nada. "It's everyone elses fault. Western women, society and so on. Why bother doing anything? Now run across the world looking for your perfect ten while still being the same clown you've always been. That's the "easy" way. That'll work out wonderfully in the end. LMAO!
 cdalton17
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 239
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/31/2012 5:52:11 AM
Back on track... This site, like all of the dating sites is just another tool. Accept that the women online are bombarded with messages.. Accept that they dont read most messages and just delete them. Accept that they dont read your profile, But want you to read theirs. Accept that they go by looks first. Accept that your just another ego boost. After accepting all of the facts of online dating, Maybe you as we all need to do is just use this site as a tool. My response rate is good somedays and sucks other days. Just life man, Man up and move on. Plenty of women out there to ho chasing. Not sure about traveling overseas... That seems a little desperate to me. Come across confident.. have your own style and most of all own who you are.. ve happy and enjoy the ride.. and if your lucky you will get to enjoy her ride.. hehe.. good luck guys.. and enjoy.. Charlie
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 240
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/31/2012 6:12:50 AM

Being he's 6'5 and contacted her on the forums negates the fact in a chicks eyes that he might've carpet bombed and sent a message to a chick with IE by mistake. It wouldn't make much difference if he actually purposefully sent it to a chick searching for IE anyway to chicks who spent their whole lives with the wrong type of men. You've just gotta laugh at this nonsense.


I'm not 100% sure on this, but I've heard it takes like 5 IE messages before people's mail settings block you. Can someone confirm this?
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 242
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/31/2012 2:14:22 PM
Most of them don't respond.
 popcultureloverguy88
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 243
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 9/8/2012 1:30:42 PM
i'd say the common response rate is one or 2 responses from different girls per month
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 244
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 9/12/2012 6:08:30 PM
Hey it is free and nearly all men dont do well on here. DOnt take it seriously okay? I would post a full length shot if you are going to remain here. I may be wrong but you may be more than average in build.
 ShamyrL
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 245
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 9/13/2012 11:45:37 AM
I would say I get around a 40 % response rate. To confirm this I actually went to my contact history and counted the ones who responded to be sure. 19 women responded out of the 46 women I contacted. It helps just to focus on those women who you have things in common with and who have viewed your profile first!
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 246
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 9/23/2012 2:24:29 AM
Update.. Before I deploy just to see if it was different I tried online while I train in TX then NM, I will continue when I go back to TX and also when see family in MN before I deploy. Thus far NM has had the most replies from quality profiles. While being just as picky as ever I had 60% responses. Even fit a great date in on the one day I did not have to work. It really looks like LA is just a hard place. Harder more superficial people with bigger attitudes.
 stovo82
Joined: 7/17/2012
Msg: 247
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 9/23/2012 4:09:59 AM
this site is a total waste of time.
POS leaves me feeling more angry and frustrated and confirms my bad feelings that most females are shallow.
 AreaManSeeking
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 248
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 9/23/2012 9:23:33 AM
Most of you guys are a bunch of ****ing babies!

Who the hell would be interested in most of you anyway? Just because you think you're cool and interesting and good-looking doesn't really matter if you're not any of those things to someone else.

Get over yourselves. Read a book, go to a museum, volunteer to help someone less fortunate. Make yourself interesting already!
 ArticLife
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 249
view profile
History
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 10/6/2012 1:02:05 AM
I think I average 1 in 10, maybe. I imagine location, and your age are two of the most critical aspects; besides pictures of course.

I try not to think about it though. I'm in no rush. Eventually given enough swings in the lake I will get lucky. I mostly just look at new profiles now, every couple of weeks.
 Iamhereonthissite
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 250
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 10/6/2012 5:28:07 AM
Even if you do get a response, the next challenge is getting them to meet with you. First, you'll be having great emails back and forth, then they pull the ol' disappearing act. lol.
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