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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?      Home login  
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 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 26
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?Page 2 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)


Copy and paste:

zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/ten-fake-profiles-one--experiment--on-trial/1405


Good article about a study conducted regarding male/female response rates on on-line dating sites.
It really should be required reading for any guy thinking he can meet someone special on line.

It's a good article, but not surprising. It doesn't take 10 fake profiles to know that the pretty girl and the pretty guy have their choice of who they want. What I do want to know though, is the varying messages that said women get. Face it some dudes are just pigs and pricks, and what kind of messages the pretty guy got...because I had a photoshopped pic of myself on here for a bit and women always say that they don't want to hear that they are "hot", but they will tell a guy that is hot or has a nice body.
 fryan
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 27
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 5:34:57 PM
Based on my experiences, and what I often read on here from others, it seems that the content of what you write has very little impact on your responses. A lot of the emails I send out end up "unread/deleted" so obviously whatever I wrote was of no impact whatsoever. I do think most replies are based on your pictures. I used to have a shirtless picture of myself posted, from when I competed in MMA a couple years ago. I had very little trouble getting responses. When I took it down my responses went into the toilet. These days I'm around the same as you, 1 in 10-15 or so. The eternal optimist in me still continues to hold out hope though.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 28
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 6:38:48 PM

Based on my experiences, and what I often read on here from others, it seems that the content of what you write has very little impact on your responses. A lot of the emails I send out end up "unread/deleted" so obviously whatever I wrote was of no impact whatsoever. I do think most replies are based on your pictures. I used to have a shirtless picture of myself posted, from when I competed in MMA a couple years ago. I had very little trouble getting responses. When I took it down my responses went into the toilet. These days I'm around the same as you, 1 in 10-15 or so. The eternal optimist in me still continues to hold out hope though.

Exactly. And they will deny deny deny that looks matter.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 29
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 6:50:46 PM
Exactly. And they will deny deny deny that looks matter.


That and money/power. Who I am has not changed much at all. My looks have not changed radically either I am fit and aging well. My income has changed considerably and so has the interest of the opposite sex.. So long as I don't mention the military and dress to impress when I head out I get flirted with by women the likes of which would never give me the time of day when I was in my 20's.

I think on deployment I will just stack up the salary I will still get from my civilian career, along with my military pay and train hard in the gym like I did in Iraq. Then when I get home put up a photo of me wading the horse on the beach shirtless and ripped and ignore all the email.

 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 30
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 7:00:07 PM

That and money/power. Who I am has not changed much at all. My looks have not changed radically either I am fit and aging well. My income has changed considerably and so has the interest of the opposite sex.. So long as I don't mention the military and dress to impress when I head out I get flirted with by women the likes of which would never give me the time of day when I was in my 20's.

I think on deployment I will just stack up the salary I will still get from my civilian career, along with my military pay and train hard in the gym like I did in Iraq. Then when I get home put up a photo of me wading the horse on the beach shirtless and ripped and ignore all the email.

Great point. Thanks for serving btw! If you and I were to go skirt chasing you would have the advantage because of your physical appearance, and I cannot deny that, nor do I "hate on you" for it. It takes hard work to get there.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 31
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 7:12:44 PM
the women who claim the content of the messages is whats important always make me lol. as many men here are saying, many messages get the dreaded "unread deleted"

bottom line, women take one look at your pics and decide from there whether or not theyll talk to you. if you find you arent doing well here, either take better pics, or try something new.
 sledgehammer79
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 32
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 7:27:45 PM
Most, if not all guys have a shitty response rate on here. Keep in mind men far outnumber the women. Any girl that is halfway decent looking is getting bombarded with messages. I also suggest to the OP that you read boobear's post. Her post is very true! This site CAN work, however, be prepared to get jerked around. Despite the fact that it says "looking for a relationship" in someone's profile does not mean they are serious about it !
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 33
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/30/2012 7:35:16 PM
A handful actually read your profile.

Here are snips from responses on another site..

"Wow, you have an incredible profile. It must be tough trying to establish relationships knowing that you will be deployed soon."

A cougar in this one
"Amazing. A man with your intelligence, wit, good looks, chivalrous nature, good with your hands AND you serve our country? OMG, women have to be fighting for your attention! You are everything on "The List" and then some...By the way, I do want to "Thank You" for serving our country. You are my hero! Mmmm and you look damn sexy in a uniform! Wish I fell into your age range. "

Some of them don't read a single thing.

"Hiii hows it going there for you? I juz saw Magic Mike at the theatre last night and came across your profile and pic, u look like you could be one of the dancers in the movie lol(lot of luv :) ...whats your name cutie?"

If she types like that and can't figure out my name from my username I hit the ignore button.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 34
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 8:55:15 AM

sciencetreker : On Match.com I had 100% return...one for one. i was only on the site for a week.


It doesn't really count if you only messaged one person.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 35
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History
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 9:33:06 AM

sciencetreker : On Match.com I had 100% return...one for one. i was only on the site for a week.

It doesn't really count if you only messaged one person.


It certainly does count if you checked my full posting. It complies with what women keep saying but most guys still don't get. Guys rarely actually LISTEN and they don't listen to what women tell them.

Example in a profile...a woman has a photo of herself with a dog and some comment that a man should like dogs.

guy one responds..'I like dogs too'

guy two responds...'Your chocolate Lab looks like he's smiling in the photo . Yes, I do like dogs but what if he doesn't like me ...he has bigger teeth than I do (just kidding, most dogs like me). He must be fun to take for a walk. Does he love the water like most Labs?

-guy two has honed into the important possibility that her previous partner might not have been too fond of her dog so makes it clear he likes dogs (the words 'happy' 'fun')...made an effort to identify the breed...tried to a bit amusing (make her feel at ease) and asked a question that isn't personal, easy to answer and thus might open up communication.
 MJ8227
Joined: 4/18/2012
Msg: 36
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 1:35:00 PM
Here's something that may help increase the response rate that I have tried and has worked. Whenever you do get a response, go back to that woman's profile to the bottom of the screen and click on "View users similar to ______" or whatever it says. Then find a profile/profiles that you are attracted to there and e-mail them. This site uses algorithms and they are a lot smarter than you would think.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 37
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 5:34:26 PM
Im willing to bet my savings account, that you could write out a horrific profile, and if you put a supermodel as your profile picture, you'd get almost 100% feedback on it.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 38
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 6:28:26 PM

Im willing to bet my savings account, that you could write out a horrific profile, and if you put a supermodel as your profile picture, you'd get almost 100% feedback on it


Therefore what? It doesn't affect how the average person looking for a partner is going to be more successful. People need to play the cards they've been dealt. One card we've all been dealt is the ability to read...hopefully to also write a response that addresses what we read. A woman you would like to meet might get 20 messages...why should she answer your one and not the othe 19? If you don't come across unique some how in your message to her, then it will be 'delete'.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 39
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 6:40:49 PM
Bro, write a unique message under your current profile to one woman.


Pick the same woman, with a supermodel as your picture, and write a boring one word email.




Come back with the results.



The reality is...sure, you play the cards you're dealt. No argument there, because you have no choice in that matter.


But lets keep it real. If she isnt vibing with your picture, then you're not getting a response even if you write the greatest message EVER.



Or, you'll get a response, but it wont lead you anywhere.



Internet dating is a crapshoot to the fullest.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 40
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 7:03:44 PM
It's not a crapshoot at all. Why not go back and actually read what women say. But then again, you don't listen to what women say.

Women want a fit, articulate, respectful, hygenic guy. 'Handsome' is not high on the scale for what most woman seek out in a partner despite unsuccessful guys repeating this over and over as an excuse as to why they are unsuccessful. (that's unsuccessful on this site, not in life). Yes, a physical 'vibe is a variable but that physical asttraction can be great smile, crooked nose or whatever...the majority of women are just not that 'wowed' by looks...attractive women even less the older they get.

Stop listening to other unsuccessful guys and listen to the women you are trying to attract. Otherwise, just give up.
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 41
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 7:21:55 PM

I'm just here for the forums.

On Match.com I had 100% return...one for one. i was only on the site for a week.

I used a completely different approach. There were about 425 profiles of women that met my criteria. I went through them and narrowed them down to one...yes, just one. One woman semed perfect (and proved to be).

I then wrote my profile to match what I thought she would look for in a guy. I then took her profile apart and spent a couple hours composing a message aimed right at her personality, etc. I wanted her to feel special so I even told her in her message that she was the only woman I had contacted. My only goal was to have the privilege to meet her in real life...then I'd accept if she was attracted to me or not.

Anyways we got together a couple days later. Instant chemistry and still crazy about each other two years later.

bottom line....Make a woman feel special...she is special if you think she might be someone you'd like to be with forever. Instead of sending out 10 messages send one or two and customize them. Let her know that you want to meet HER in particular and not just a woman. If I was a woman and thought some guy was sending out generic emails to a list of women, I'd hit the delete button. The odds are that she is getting a couple of emails focused directly at her so why would she choose you over the guy who has showed a real interest in her? Women, rightly so, expect some romance and affection. They are brought up from little girls wanting this. They want you to go gaga over her. Be respectful in your message, don't mention physical attributes, etc. but make it clear that you find her special.


Good for you! This also worked because you're the exception rather than the rule. You took the time to do this- focused on one woman that you truly found of interest and told her so.
I sincerely wish every man would try this- she would definitely feel special.
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 42
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 7:23:10 PM
Stop listening to other unsuccessful guys and listen to the women you are trying to attract.


Another wise post.

To the men: It's not the response rate that's important,,,it's getting one response from a lady of real interest.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 43
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 9:35:51 PM
listen to the women? sorry man, but thats not gonna work. most of the women tell guys to go to profile review, change up things in their profile, ect, when what matters is his PICS. women dont actually come out and say what they want, if they did, this would be much easier. from what ive seen, women usually say what they want other people to THINK they want. "oh i want a nice guy. i want someone to be real." that sort of thing. in reality on here its more like theyre looking for the best looking guy possible, and everything else is negotiable. if you really want to actually listen to the advice of the women on here, go for it. i wouldnt. and i was successful on here, to a degree. i met a couple decent women, went on dates, whatever. i just ended up meeting someone irl instead.

you wanna do well on here, change your pics, bottom line. do what they do and take a ton of them and only post the very best ones. ive also seen some pics that were obviously photo shopped or professionally done. if you have a female friend you can trust, get her to help you with pics. after you do that, by all means send out the best messages you can. every little bit helps. just keep in mind the pics are gonna get you in the door.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 44
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 9:38:57 PM
notdating: id be willing to bet that like me, many men DID customize their messages to each girl they contacted....at first. it really gets old after you carefully read a profile and send out a witty, customized message for a girl you find interesting, only to see "unread deleted" after all your work. after a few of these, only a lunatic would keep doing so over, and over, and over again.
 blissfulyogini
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 45
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 10:11:00 PM
Here's the thing about POF.. Guys like to send messages that only say "hi" and then wonder why the females ignore them. Women get tons of emails like this everyday and it would take forever to respond to each and every message like this. If someone can't be bothered to read a individual's profile to determine common interests or what kind of match they may be interested in and just send a generic one word message, then you are basically saying you are lazy, boring or both. Neither is attractive to anyone.

A better strategy would be to send fewer garbage messages for ones that shows you pay attention. Discuss HER interests and activities. Be original and set yourself apart from all the duds without a creative bone in their bodies. Take genuine interest and explain what about her is prompting you to initiate conversation.

I'm not saying that this will work on every message you send but you will get a far better reception. Just my 2 cents...
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 46
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 10:20:43 PM
blissful: this doesnt explain all the unread deleted returns many men get on here. the pictures are so much more important than the meat of the message. i started sending the garbage messages too, its less work in the long run. its not a matter of laziness, its just that we learn women are gonna look at our pics and decide if they will talk to us. not much reason to put a lot of energy and thought into a profile and constructing a witty message for it to never be read.

if i were to ever be into a position where id use this site for dating again, id send out the garbage messages. if women want more thought out, carefully considered messages, perhaps they should consider reading them more often, or actually responding to them.
 lespaul93
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 47
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 10:24:19 PM
I have a serious, legit profile. But, I guess I'm some sort of martian or other world being. It amazes me that I get NO responses whatsoever, hey, if im not the girls type, thats fine, I'll move on. But a least give the courtesy of saying so, don't leave a person hanging, that's just RUDE!!!!!
 pofuser29
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 48
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 7/31/2012 11:10:13 PM
I can confirm what other posters here are saying. When I send out thoughtful messages, I never get a reply. However, when you pose as a good looking guy, women jump over hurdles to contact you. This site is about nothing but looks.
 CanIMakeULaugh
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 49
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:31:55 AM

if women want more thought out, carefully considered messages, perhaps they should consider reading them more often, or actually responding to them.


Amen to that, brother. I totally understand why the women are put off by perverse or ridiculously short messages, but as someone who always makes a point of sending a meaningful initial email with comments or questions about specific things that were mentioned in the profile and still rarely receives a return response I can also understand why most guys don't bother and I am beginning to wonder why I go through the trouble anymore.

I should point out that I have had several seemingly decent women initiate the contact with me in the week or so that I have been on here so I have been fortunate in that respect and I greatly appreciate these women making the first move. But I still fail to understand why so many women on here simply refuse to respond to ANYONE who writes to them first. Sadly, they ruin it for these other ones who are on here for legitimate reasons and these snobs are the overwhelming majority.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 50
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History
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/1/2012 9:08:58 AM

But I still fail to understand why so many women on here simply refuse to respond to ANYONE who writes to them first.


How would you know that? Do people know who you respond to? Hopefully nobody has access to your communication with other members.
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