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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?      Home login  
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 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 51
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?Page 3 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
^^^^ I respond to every response that I receive. If I send 20 reponses I might receive a response from 1 man, it is usually to chew me out for having the nerve to respond to him.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 52
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/1/2012 9:27:31 AM

I can confirm what other posters here are saying. When I send out thoughtful messages, I never get a reply. However, when you pose as a good looking guy, women jump over hurdles to contact you. This site is about nothing but looks.
.....That's everywhere, not just here.

So that being said and knowing that you have to play the cards dealt to you, what to do? Becoming a hermit is always a possibility. However if you dont like living in caves you might want to take a critical look at yourself and figure out what your attributes are and do your best to enhance. Where are you deficient and improve. Realize that perhaps the Meg Fox look alike may be out of reach and contact women that are well...your female counter part. The one thing that is to our advantge is that women's tastes tend to be more ecelectic than men's.

But most of all.....stop the fkng whinning. It accomplishes absolutely nothing!
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 53
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/1/2012 11:12:45 AM

But most of all.....stop the fkng whinning. It accomplishes absolutely nothing!


Bingo.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 54
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/1/2012 4:17:41 PM
I'm cruising at a steady and positive "1 reply out of every 72563 messages sent"

*shrugs*

 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 55
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:00:13 PM
fifi47: youll have to trust me when i say that women who respond to most messages are in the minority. i have never gotten a response from a girl to say shes not interested. either they responded positively or i got no response at all. more often than not, there was no response. the content of the message had NO EFFECT on whether or not i got responses. actually, one theory i tried was to send only rude messages and see how that worked. i got a much better response rate. i found that especially funny.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 56
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:58:05 PM
I have worked very hard to whittle down my response rate.
Not increase it.
I think I have finally about got it aced.
As it is finally very low.
I know that goes against the grain but hear me out.

2 things to remember:

1) if you are looking for ONE girl,
that means 99.999% of the rest are not for you.

2) Obviously you can't know who she is,
so you do need to email various women to find her.
But even so.....most you email....will not be her.
Nor in any way compatible with you.

It is counterproductive to mix dating with polling.
and even more so to gauge your self worth on it.

I date to mate.
So it is a given I will not be acceptable to most women I email.
Still some do reply.
So I go into issues or things that may be a concern for them.
and that cuts down my reply rate even further.
Which saves me a whole lot of wasted typing.
And allows me to concentrate on the very few....
who may be the one.

:-)
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 57
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:41:31 AM

If you guys are only getting 1/10 responding you are doing something wrong. I reply to all messages even if its a no thank you reply unless you come off creepy. Half the messages I get are "hi" "hey" "your sexy" to which they get a hi and thanks.


I disagree. 10% positive reply rate is not that bad. Most women will not respond when they aren't interested. Regardless of what a man writes in his email. In my experience, the content of the email had very little impact on my positive reply rate. However when I added new photos, my positive reply rate increased.
 DevotedExplorer
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 58
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:35:33 AM
I agree with the above but you can't forget the fact that different women find different things attractive so a women may find you attractive but if you have sent out a poor message its not going to help you.
 MyNameWasTaken2
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 59
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/2/2012 10:52:46 AM
I un-hid my profile a couple of days ago after a month or so of dating a gal, and surprisingly have gotten quite a few messages. Back when I was sending out messages, I would say 80-90% replied, but I think there may be a lot more fishes in my age group...
 MrPatient1101
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 60
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/2/2012 11:19:02 AM
It's odd, I seem to get more responses from the "hi" messages than I do a well thought out message. It is what it is.
 Otisbecker
Joined: 7/10/2012
Msg: 61
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:11:34 PM
""Good for you! This also worked because you're the exception rather than the rule. You took the time to do this- focused on one woman that you truly found of interest and told her so. I sincerely wish every man would try this- she would definitely feel special."

Hello:
I am new here and have yet to figure out the magic formula. I think I am reasonably fit, but now am thinking I don't have enough money in my pics and need better clothes.

But last night something clicked. I read a profile that was absolutely priceless and wrote back accordingly. No date, but my quarry did write me back and say my email "made her feel like a million bucks" and she said she thought it was quite funny and that she was impressed that I took the time to really read and play off her profile. I'm gonna take that one to heart and learn from it and why it worked.


So maybe there is hope for us ugly dudes, perhaps we just have to work a little harder. Anywho, whatever happens here I can use to polish my game for the real world.

Take care all and good luck
Otisbecker
 FishOwl
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 62
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:40:28 PM
First, neither this nor any other site is a "dating" site. All you get is an introduction. To something. May be what it says, may not. May want what it says, may not. Probably doesn't know.

It's a game. Occasionally someone can delude themselves int believing they won. Hope that's you.
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 63
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 1:25:04 AM
I don't message a lot of people at all, but I get about a 50% response rate of some kind or another. I realize how flippant the messaging thing can be so somebody may be gone after a single exchange. I don't ever say anything inappropriate so I know that's just a function of women having several offers on the table at a time and I'm not the first choice. No big deal. I get a number of unsolicited messages from others, who are usually of little interest.
 bay_shore
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 64
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 9:53:39 AM
I think some men will email random attractive women without reading her profile. These men will often end up contacting women even though they aren't close to matching the requirements on her profile. If these men were more selective with the women they contacted, that could improve their response rate.
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 65
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:22:08 AM
as a woman who delete's 95% of my mail, let me help you guys out:

1. Don't EVER write just "hi" "hey" "what's up" "how are ya.". Annoys the crap outta me to get 100 of these. I actually have a minimum character limit to avoid this now. What's wrong with that? Boring, lazy, no effort. "But no one responds so so why should I write more?" (I know I see this argument coming) Because this will guarantee a delete from me. Hey, I send out messages too. And my messages will get ignored too. But I still write them something personal. It does not have to be a novel, just at least 2 damn sentences that show you read my profile. I don't want some 'hi" you spam 100 girls with. What should I say to that? Hi back?
So after I set my 50 character minimum to send me a message to avoid this problem, I now get this: "Hi..............................................". Yup "Hi" with 48 dots to get around my 50 character minimum, to get around my filter. Are you serious??????? Is it THAT hard to write a sentence or two?????

2. I can tell what a copy and paste message is. Again, effortless. It's like spam mail. Again, when I message men I make it personal. Even if I get ignored, it's ok. I know there's that chance. But when I find a guy on here I really like, I will never say just hi to him!!! If he intrigues me I am going to put in an effort to have a conversation. If I truly like someone I am going to have a lot of things to say and ask that person, not just say a hi.

3. I am looking for a long term relationship. I am 26 and want to settle soon. So any "wants to date but nothing serious" or "friends" or "hang out" gets a delete. I'm tired of casual dating and want something a little more serious. No, not marriage by tomorrow, but just a solid relationship. Of course agreeing to a date does not mean I want a serious relationship with that person right then right away. But a LTR is my goal for the near future. I don't want to date just for the sake of dating. So we MUST have the same intent.

4. Messages that say "I like your smile", "you're pretty", "nice eyes". Well obviously you are physically attracted to me, otherwise I wouldn't get a message. It gets me nervous because I am looking for a relationship, so I like it when a guy takes me more seriously and compliments my personality or my interests. I like guys with substance, who can have a deep conversation with me. That just sounds too shallow. Don't get me wrong, I love physical compliments. but hold off on it. I'm tired of being judged by how I look. Whether someone is drop dead gorgeous, or butt ugly, there is more to that person than their physical appearance.

5. Anything weird or sexual. Delete.

6. You have nothing in common with me!!!! I say I don't plan on moving out of NYC and guys will send me messages who plan on living on the west coast or whatever. I say no mind games and I get mind games. I say in my area and I get out of state. I state LTR and I get guys wanting hook-ups. READ my profile and RESPECT what I want.

7. I need to find you physically attractive AND have things in common with. So that also determines if I will respond.

So this is who I will respond to: A guy who I find physically attractive (in my eyes), we have some things in common, he lives close enough and there are no dealbreakers, and he writes me a thoughtful, sweet message that shows he actually read my profile. It doesn't have to be complicated or long, something like "Hey I like your profile, we have a lot in common. I love Mahjong too! What's your highest score?". It's not too short, it shows you read my profile, it's not long or complicated and it didn't take 5 hrs to write that. I'm not asking for much. I'm not asking for paragraphs, just a little something more than "hi"

Also, stop with the numbers games. Some of you send out 100 messages???? Do you EVEN LIKE these 100 women??? I do a search and only find 1 guy out of 100 that I find interesting. It seems like some of the messages I get are from guys who don't care, they just want a response, ANY response. Let's not be desperate! Take your time, you don't NEED a date or a girlfriend so fast. You will do better if you sent out fewer messages that are better quality. Chill out with with spam mail. Contact those you think will be good a match.

*Disclaimer, these are my opinions, you don't need to listen to me. I always feel like no matter what I say on this forum I get yelled at lol. So these are just my opinions and my tips, I know not all will agree with me. Just my 2 cents. And I am NOT speaking for all women, just myself :)
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 66
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:28:49 PM
audrianna333 : If you guys are only getting 1/10 responding you are doing something wrong.


Well that's rather presumptive of you. Statistics clearly show that somewhere around 1/10 is about average for guys on dating sites, and it does't mean they're "doing something wrong", rather , among other things, it's the competition.

There are lots of guys who send out tons of messages and the women get so overloaded they don't bother responding to all of them, there aren't enough hours in the day even if they wanted to.


audrianna333 : If you guys are only getting 1/10 responding you are doing something wrong. I reply to all messages


If you reply to all messages, I have two things to say

1- You either have a lot of free time to field 100s of messages per week (or even per DAY), or you don't get that many messages in which case you might want to look into the reasons why you don't get that many messages, for a woman on a dating site, that's unusual unless she's got a bad profile or she's just not that attractive.

2- Thanks to women like you, our response rates to messages we send out aren't closer to 1/20.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 67
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:43:49 PM
If you guys are only getting 1/10 responding you are doing something wrong.


1. If depending on the day I was getting 3-6/10 responding without mentioning deploying
2. If I get 2-3/10 responding after I put deploying in the profile.
3. If for each hundred emails or so I sent I end up on one actual date. A response is just a response not a date.
4. If I make a pass in public 8/10 times it works.

I don't think it is just the guys doing something wrong on here.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 68
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 6:04:53 PM
motogpatrick: its not just the guys doing something wrong in here, dont worry. women kinda have this online dating thing in their pocket right now, they are in control. they sit around and read tons of messages all sent by guys and can pick and choose which people they want to talk to. i havent sent out 100 emails to different people on this, or any other dating site, combined. it aint worth it.
 kjyma
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 69
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 7:08:25 PM
Finally... been registered for 3 days and can post, lol.

New here but my expectation is may be 1 response / month. That's sufficient. Only sent out 2 messages up to date after viewed 200+ profiles from search and all. Dating sites are dating sites, just an alternative way to meet people we otherwise would not meet in real life.

I don't ask every girl I see in real life out, don't expect most of them to flock to my side, same goes with dating sites. It's just as much a reality but with hyper speed.

On the other note, I did meet my ex on another dating site, dated 9 months. So, it works, just don't bank your house on it.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 70
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 7:09:47 PM

women kinda have this online dating thing in their pocket right now, they are in control. they sit around and read tons of messages all sent by guys


No they don't. they delete most withiout having to read past 'Hi'. Women are swamped by junk. 10% of the guys send out 95% of the messages...they'd message a dead hamster. The guys who actually take the time to send a message addressing what's in a woman's profile probably send out 3 or 4 messages. ...most likely the same as the number of smiles, winks, flirts most women send out to guys they are interested in.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 71
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 7:14:37 PM
Enigma323

Out in the real world a fit, funny weld dressed guy in his 30's with no kids, an education, a successful career and disposable income is a hot commodity. What is really holding me up is deploying soon. I put a lot into my profile so that I would have at least some kind of socializing with singles while I was over there. Oh well I am going out tonight perhaps I will just put off discussion of the military as long as possible and have an entertaining evening.

Sciencetreker

Over the course of a week I can and have read 100 profiles and sent 100 emails composed from scratch that were 2-4 lines.

I get many replies and almost all of them are "that was witty, funny, etc..etc.. thanks for the email but since you are leaving in a month I am not interested"



 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 72
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/3/2012 7:39:25 PM
MundusViator

If I was not so honest and told them about deploying before they got too frisky I probably would be busy.
Last time I came back 20lbs heavier from lifting.. Looking to beat that one this time. Working out hard instead of the mail order retail therapy many troops do..
 Gemguy
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 73
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What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/4/2012 11:33:19 AM
MotoGPatrick
This is Off Topic - so I apologize.

Thank you for your service. Know that there are a lot folks here thinking good thoughts and praying for you and the others that serve our country.

Be safe and take care.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 74
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/4/2012 12:39:22 PM
I think some men will email random attractive women without reading her profile. These men will often end up contacting women even though they aren't close to matching the requirements on her profile. If these men were more selective with the women they contacted, that could improve their response rate.


This can be a part of the reason why some people get a low percentage of positive replies. Some women do the same thing. When I was on a different dating site, I would get emails / winks from women that clearly didn't match what I was looking for on my profile.

Having said that, even when a man does match most of the requirements on a woman's profile, chances are his positive reply rate might improve somewhat. But still would be relatively low.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 75
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/4/2012 12:58:37 PM

These men will often end up contacting women even though they aren't close to matching the requirements on her profile.


I am sure many guys do this and many women do this as well. I have done just the opposite and emailed those that at least appear on their profile be looking for someone like me. Often times a word for word and line for line match.

What my pre-deployment summer has been like. The girl next store online cops an attitude like a supermodel. Those that don't are not interested because of the military. Less ego same amount of selfishness.

In real life I have no problem getting a phone number and setting up a date with cute on up to holy s*it hot.. Lot's of one to three date women. That all depends on what date they decide they don't want to date a guy going overseas..
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