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 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 76
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?Page 4 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Nhra1966, supermodels don't get far with me. Most of them are complete weird airheads who dont want to settle and want to date as many women as they can with no commitment. Sorry if that offends any models, all but one I came across were like that though. Now when I see one I can't help but be judgemental and delete their message. but maybe the younger girls who look for casual dating want that, I'm getting too old for that and I'm looking for something serious. But yes you do need to be physically attractive to the person to get a response. A lot if men are like that too though, i think men in general are more visual and shallow. And with money I don't need a rich guy. I was taught to support myself. Just as long as you're not making minimum wage. And no I don't think you are bitter. So I help that makes you feel better? Just keep trying guys :) and just make sure you have enough in common with the woman to message her! I get so many men no where near my type sending me messages! That's why I made my filters so tight and explained word for word what I am looking for in my profile. But still some guys don't care andmessage me anyway! Just please be sure so read the profile, make sure you have things in common, and send out a respectful message.
 Dødheimsgard
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 77
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/4/2012 2:29:11 PM
Oh misery, bleak fits from unrequited love lead me to mope in a field of poisoned roses; her cruel beauty, my loves, for whom my messages are no more than a bottle rolling on an infinite sea and tossed about by sharks with gnashing teeth.

Dear gentlemen, I have no messages with which to measure my prowess amongst the true men, who do pride themselves like kings for their exploits amongst the locals, bragging if you will like drunken thieves. I sulk with great pain and pouted lips.

I do not have an inbox full of raven-haired ladies whose age is almost half mine own. Nor are there those bright smiled, toned legged girls whose age is allegedly just enough to flirt with whom they choose without propagating the perilous risk of perjurious hindsight. Nor have I ever, truly, received messages from women my own age calling me a fake and a swindler. They do not make of me a man of sharper wit with their perfect sense of self worth, that I might better bestow compliments they regard as sincere.

What does it take to get some love around here?
 rbwdm
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 78
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 10:34:31 AM
Ms BlueEyes, why are you even posting here? This isn't about YOU. Count the number of times you say "I" in your post. I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I, ... get it. You are in the 1% minority who get thousands of responses and have no understanding or compassion what the rest of us "normal" people go thru. Sorry, hate to be rude ... but had to be said.

The reality is what the other guys have been posting here. Not Mr. Science head who emailed a total of one women in his life or Mr. Stud weight lifter, motor-cycle riding, millionaire, military hero (sorry, and thanks for the service dude). They are both outliers. What normal guys are saying is that they have a better chance of getting hit by lighting than getting a date with one of the attractive ladies here. THAT my friends is the reality of the situation. And then the ladies all complain about phony pics or people who lie on their profiles or send out hundreds of generic messages or even worse "players". Of course they are players; they have to be or they are ignored and treated like crap like everyone else. So the 1-10 or 1-20 response rate is normal. And it doesn't matter if you say "Hi", make an inappropriate sexual proposition, or write a book. And Yes an attractive pic is USUALLY the difference; at least it opens the door. Most times the ladies won't even read your email or look at your profile unless you are VERY attractive.

Every guy here should look at the article linked to earlier from the guys at . Look at the stats and what that implies. OLD just doesn't work for guys unless you are tall, rich, beautiful, or a player who is willing to lie, cheat, steal in order to get a date. It is, what it is. Deal with it.
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 79
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 11:00:09 AM
Rbw, sorry I just thought I would help you guys out. I delete most of my mail because men don't read my profile and havoc g nothing in common with me. My point is, to get higher response rates stop messaging women who you have nothing in common with, actually read the profile, and say more than hi. Of course if you do all this you may still get rejected, but you will 100% get rejected if you chase atter women who you have nothing in common with. I just received a message right now that read "hey good looking, what's cooking?". Really? AFTER I put on my profile that I only respond to messages that show you read my profile and care about me as a person not just a piece of meat. Maybe i wouldhave responded if he wrote me skmething more serious.t Another example, on match.com it states my age limit is 30. I had a 35 year old send me a message. He is above my stated age limit, i even re-wrote my age limit on the bottom. And guess what? He actually wrote me again asking why I didn't respond!!!!!! Really????? Lmao. These are the men who probably complain that no one responds and ask why!!! I am not saying you are all like that. And hey i sent out a message last nite that got ignored. If it were that easy for me I wouldnt be single for a year now. Oh, and my last ex was 5'7" and unemployed. I am picky but in a strange sense, I can't explain it. But anywho, it is what it is. We all get rejected, and we all gotta keep trying. I'm sorry for the "I I I", but I would respond to my messages more if you guys took me seriously and actually care about me as a person, no just a pretty face. But i am.looking for a LTR so maybe its different for me. I don't know what else to say, just keep trying and im sorry about all your frustration. I get frustrated too.heck if im so great then why do I get ignored and stood up too? Yeah i get a lot of messages but they are mostly junk. All im saying is to just be respectful, and contact women you actually have things in common with. and if you still get ignored then keep trying, dont give up.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 80
view profile
History
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 2:23:43 PM
Ok guys, how would you write a message to blueeyes to improve your chances of getting a respose. i read her profile.

I'll pretend I lived in NYC and wasn't old enough to be her father.

"I'm quite intrigued by your profile. You must be proud to have earned your Masters in psychology. . Congrats! It must to rewarding to work in a field where you can make a difference. I suppose you have some challenging clients but everyone is an individual and that's what makes people fascinating.
You're looking for a 'Nice Guy' ? Well, I was a boy scout and am still happy to help an old lady across the street. Actually, in this great city of ours most people are decent once you get to know them.

....then a couple more sentences..blah...blah....and I'd ask a question about something in her profile to open the door for a response.

If I didn't quite meet her age group (I was 31 instead of 25 to 30). I'd be proactive and meet the issue right on with something like:
"I'm sure you value honesty as I do so, yes, I did notice I'm just out of your age range. I'm fit a and a young 31. In fact sometimes too young. It was embrarassing taking my 'younger' sister out for her birthday and having to show my ID to order her a glass of wine."

I wouldn't mention her appearance. She's pretty and hears that from most guys.

No need to write too much about 'me,myself and I". If I've touched her curiosity, she'll read my profile.

Anyways....use your imagination. don't worry about coming across as too corny...beats being macho or illiterate. She works in the field of addictions so my goal would be to put her at ease so she let's me into her comfort zone. No strong statements. No strong demands. I'd end my message with an upbeat positive statement.
 CanIMakeULaugh
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 81
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 3:02:18 PM

"I'm quite intrigued by your profile. You must be proud to have earned your Masters in psychology. . Congrats! It must to rewarding to work in a field where you can make a difference. I suppose you have some challenging clients but everyone is an individual and that's what makes people fascinating.
You're looking for a 'Nice Guy' ? Well, I was a boy scout and am still happy to help an old lady across the street. Actually, in this great city of ours most people are decent once you get to know them.

....then a couple more sentences..blah...blah....and I'd ask a question about something in her profile to open the door for a response.


The example that you give above is more or less what I write when I make the initial contact with a woman...only to be completely ignored more than 98% of the time. I totally understand why the ladies don't like it when a man writes some bs such as "hey ur cute" or "lets hook up" or makes it abundantly clear that he didn't read a word she wrote, but you don't seem to have any better return response rate when you send a message similar to that above.

For the record, I am from the greater NYC area, but I am WAY too old for her so I won't be sending her what I consider to be a thoughtful, decent (and even maybe somewhat funny) email, only to be thrown into the discard pile. I do read and respect what the women say they want, for what it's worth, and I think more guys do than we are all lead to believe.
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 82
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 3:04:49 PM
Thank you sciencetreker, that was perfect :) well it doesn't have to be that long, like that message in two sentences will do, but that wouldn't hurt either :) but that message was so refreshing! My next step would be to view the profile, and if you are semi cute and we have enough in common ill respond back. I mean I don't expect long messages because if I'm not interested I dont want him to spend too much time writing a novel, but that was perfect. Not too long not too short. You read my profile, sent out a nice respectful message, and didn't mention the way I look. You showed me you are serious about me and dont come across as looking for some random girl looking for a hook up. Now of course this will not guarentee a response, but my point is a bad message will surely not get a response! I guess its like finding a job, if you want that job you neeed to stand out, have a good resume (profile) and a good personalized cover letter (first message). The harsh reality is that there is a lot of competition on here. Now you dont need to go overboard, but a sentence or two of good quality will do :) I know it sucks they won't always answer, but at least you have a better chance this way. for me its not always about the photos or the profiles, i have come across men with reall great profiles and are really good looking, and I've been shocked to see a poorly written message or bad taste message, so sometimes the message can really make a difference. At least for me.
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 83
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 3:24:28 PM
Canimakeulaugh, you have a good profile, good pics (pretty good looking) and seem to send out good messages. I guess there really is no answer, i mean we all have differerent reasons to reject people. I offered tips for better messages and on who to contact, but really there's not much more you can do than that. You are doing a good job, but I guess we can't make everyone like us. Some men, I'm not saying you or anyone here, also go for women out of their league. But even when you do eveythibg right not everyone can like you. So there really isn't much of a solution I dont think. Just keep trying your best. Competition is really high here, people always think they can findsomeone better. Maybe women do get a lot more messages and can be picky because of this. It sucks but I guess just try your best and keep sending those messages.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 84
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 3:41:58 PM
If I look at any study or poll on what women want. Anything from psychology today to mens health I am nearly an exact match in every category. Over 6', over $100k, over my ex, no kids, close with family but have not lived with them in ages.. etc.. Deploying to Afghanistan for a year is my kryptonite.

Being the LTR kind of guy I am not interested but unless I wanted an F buddy my game is going to be as weak as that of a leprosy victim or a 30 yr old obese virgin living in mamma's basement. LA Women are about as fond of the word Military as a 18-20yr old male player is of the word marriage.

I was already on active duty as full time military when 9-11 happened and stationed around 50 miles north of NYC. I was down in the city for a bit to help out in uniform. If LA had the M-F ratio of NY and gave even half as warm a reception to the uniform as the NYC ladies did.. Darn...

Friends of mine are severely jealous of the "hook ups" I turn down. Because even with smoking hot women around LA over 6', fit with an Italian sports car = take me drunk I'm home.

So if you are like me and are still being mostly ignored you should forget online dating. You wont get a 300lb wildebeest asking to go for a ride on the bike of your purposefully cramped super bike and women on a everyday real life attractiveness level will not have a horrendous attitude.
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 85
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 5:22:54 PM
Thank you Nhra, and thank you moto for your service. Moto, I do agree that your deployment soon is your biggest reason of your lack of responses. I'm sorry you're not having much luck right now, but it will get better. I don't think online dating is for the super rich or good looking. I have a colleage who met her husband on match.com, she is very homely looking, but so is the guy she's with. I guess we just need to find someone on our level, but there is hope. Eventually the people with super high standards are going to realize that they are being unrealistic and need to find someone on their level, or they will be stuck here. I hear plenty of success stories so we just need to be patient. Evrything happens for a reason, life is life. But this is better than nothing, right?
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 86
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 5:57:32 PM
blueeyes2410: hoping the people with super high standards will realize they are beig unrealistic and find someone on their level is being VERY optimistic lol. i can almost understand a younger girl doing that sort of thing because shes well, young lol. i see many women on here in their 30's and up who are the same way. i have very little faith that they will wise up. too many people vastly overestimate what they have to offer when they go looking for a mate.
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 87
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 6:19:15 PM
Enigma, lol I guess you're right. But maybe are we all a bit guilty of wanting what's better than us? I think because there's so many people on here we naturally go after the best. Hmm... well I guess let's all try to have fun being single anyway and hope that special someone comes along, and to be realistic in who we approach. I give up lol, just try your best and hopefully someone will find you perfect, you can't force someone to like you, you cant control other people and change their standards. I guess its just the way it is then, I see a lot of threads like this. Men seem to complain about the same things and women seem to complain about the same things. Well good luck to everyone and may we all find someone one day :)
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 88
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 7:06:26 PM

But maybe are we all a bit guilty of wanting what's better than us? I think because there's so many people on here we naturally go after the best.


Online I go after the same type I do IRL. The biggest difference is 8/10 times they like me IRL as opposed to only 2/10 even acknowledging an email online.

Not into looks without substance.. The knockout with a high school education, desire for world travel, expensive tastes and a low paying career will never get an email from me.

From what I have learned dating is to take a 7 that is an RN or another career that requires heart over a model 10.. Much more fun, more genuine and less self absorbed.

Just because you set your sights the same when you are logged on as when you are on the town does not mean the other side does not have their head in the clouds.
 Truth223
Joined: 8/1/2012
Msg: 89
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 7:58:58 PM
Remade my account a week or so ago. Im 0 for 10 give or take so far. Why I sign back up and put myself through this bullshit is beyond me. I need to start trolling the dog parks and Barnes and Noble. Im sure il have a better record there instead of wasting my time on this dumb ass site.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 90
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:32:32 PM
blueeyes2410: i too have noticed that men and women both always complain about the same things. youd think theyd take the knowledge they find here and apply it in their every day life. at least, i hope they do. i can almost guarantee that the women having issues only meeting jerks and whatnot on here would have much better luck if theyd begin answering emails they otherwise wouldnt, and give some of those guys a shot. i know a couple really good guys on here who had such terrible experiences that theyve become disillusioned with women and dating. people say its a numbers game, but we can only take so much rejection.

moto: i KNOW exactly what you mean. for the most part on here, i found that the type of woman i actually talk to and date in the real world wouldnt even respond on here. i know it was the pic i had posted, which while not horrible, wasnt the best either. however, instead of changing the pic to a better one, i feel that id rather have a somewhat bad pic and talk to less shallow women. while i probably got considerably less responses than i could have, everyone that i did talk to and meet was a good person.

truth: if this site pisses you off that much, dont get involved. its unhealthy to keep putting yourself through this stuff if it bothers you so. i wish you the best of luck man!
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 91
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/6/2012 3:38:33 AM

Nhra1966, supermodels don't get far with me. Most of them are complete weird airheads who dont want to settle and want to date as many women as they can with no commitment. Sorry if that offends any models, all but one I came across were like that though. Now when I see one I can't help but be judgemental and delete their message. but maybe the younger girls who look for casual dating want that, I'm getting too old for that and I'm looking for something serious. But yes you do need to be physically attractive to the person to get a response. A lot if men are like that too though, i think men in general are more visual and shallow. And with money I don't need a rich guy. I was taught to support myself.



thank you for your positive words blueeyes2410, it means a lot coming from such a smart, down to earth and gorgeous woman like yourself. we regular guys must take your advise and run with it :)



Seems to me,because she's attractive to you,it mean's "alot more".
Would it mean any less coming from a smart, down to earth 5 or a 6 in your book? If so...that's no less shallow!
You claim women are shallow...but she's RIGHT...men are no less so when it comes to choosing who they will bother to message,let alone date.

She didn't say ANYTHING more than any of the other "bitter, shallow" women you have ignorned since you got here.

Women KNOW that the hottest men here have big ego's and little in the way of commitment to anything but casual sex so we don't GO for them unless that's all we want.We GO for down to earth men with brains and hearts if we are seriously looking for someone to have a LTR with!

My guy looks ALOT like you do....and he's BROKE.

I love the hell out of him and have since we met back in 2009 here.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

How about you do an experiment.Contact women who you don't find attractive and who are broke to date to prove you aren't as shallow as "all the women" here are.

Afterall...it's ALL about what's on the INSIDE........right?
 gettinripped
Joined: 8/1/2012
Msg: 92
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/6/2012 4:42:26 AM
Don't message. Answer. Wait until someone you like messages you. In an environment when about 3/100 profiles are worth getting to know ; play the waiting game. I was on this site for about 3 yrs. before someone GREAT approached me. Much less problematic.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 93
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/6/2012 6:55:45 AM
But yes you do need to be physically attractive to the person to get a response. A lot if men are like that too though, i think men in general are more visual and shallow. And with money I don't need a rich guy. I was taught to support myself.


In general, women can be just as visual and "shallow" as men are. The primary difference is that some women would date a man that they aren't attracted to because he is rich, famous, or powerful.


Women KNOW that the hottest men here have big ego's and little in the way of commitment to anything but casual sex so we don't GO for them unless that's all we want.We GO for down to earth men with brains and hearts if we are seriously looking for someone to have a LTR with!


The last sentence may be true. But looks are also a factor. In general the more attractive men have higher positive reply rates. When I was on another dating, my positive reply rate went up and I got more initials emails/winks from women after I put better looking photos of myself on my profile.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 94
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:05:41 AM
You forgot kind, intelligent, compassionate and amusing. I daresay more women would Mr. Average looking if he possessed those traits than a man would date Ms. Average with those traits.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 95
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/7/2012 6:31:11 AM
hearton: of course womanly advice from a woman that we, as men, find attractive is going to mean more. why would it not? if i have 2 women give me dating advice, one i would never date, and another i would, im going to take the advice of the girl i WOULD date. that isnt all necessarily based on looks alone though. youll notice that NHRA1966 complimented Blueeyes by saying shes "smart, down to earth, and gorgeous" you ignored everything except him calling her gorgeous.

and for the record, and im sure some other men can back this up, a lot of us HAVE messaged women we didnt find attractive. in many cases, those women dont respond so often either.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 96
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/7/2012 7:07:58 AM
You forgot kind, intelligent, compassionate and amusing. I daresay more women would Mr. Average looking if he possessed those traits than a man would date Ms. Average with those traits.


On dating sites, Mr Average may not get a chance to reveal his personality traits. He would often get rejected because of his photos or because he doesn't exactly match a long list of requirements. Even when he gets a date with a woman, she may quickly lose interest in him because there wasn't instant fireworks on the first date / meeting or because he didn't exactly match some built up fantasy image.
 grantfl80
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 97
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/7/2012 7:44:53 AM
Response rate eh? Let's put it this way...if this was a real response rate, like checking somebody's pulse, well it'd be a dead person's pulse.

G
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 98
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/7/2012 12:09:33 PM
HA! At least you all get responses. I don't get squat other than views and the only reason I get that is because I spend more time than I should sending messages. And these aren't one-liners or anything obnoxious. These are normal, nice messages. And I can tell if a woman actually read my messages by her actually responding. Other than that, I seriously doubt the vast majority bother reading them. I think what they do is see they got a message from me, check out my profile first to tear into it, then delete my messages without ever reading them. It must be my area (Kentucky) on why that is. I did get a response a couple of days ago calling out a woman on why she won't date Black men. But the last response I got before then was two or so months ago. About once a month I change or edit my profile, but there's only so much a guy can fix.
 scpumkinfan
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 99
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/7/2012 1:16:04 PM
Uck! I have never in my life had so many crude, disrespectful, chauvanistic, psycho jerks as I have had on here. I dated two guys off of here for less than a month. They were both horrible. Half the time I get rude guys saying really nasty things to me and very vulgar too. I have had such bad luck on here I am now just on here for the forums and nothing else. I have given up on finding anyone on here. Also, the reason why women may not respond is because of what the guys write to them. "Hello", "Hi", "How are you?" and variations thereof are extremely boring and do not get a response from me period. If you can't think of something more interesting to say you're probably not going to be my type. Also, this is NOT an adult website. Saying really inppropriate things to someone you don't even know isn't just disrespectful it's downright ridiculous and unappealing. I tried to be nice when I would get someone e-mailing me and I would try a polite "I'm not interested but thank you" e-mail only to have the guy call me the "C" word or ask me why or say that I'm too picky or some other argument.

I have found most of the guys on here to be very immature. I had one guy that was 50-something give me a lecture on how rude it was to not respond back to his message AFTER he said something like "Since you didn't respond I've decided that I don't want to do you". Really? Seriously??? Where in my profile does it say I'm looking for that. When I responded with a "feeling's mutual" he asked why when he wanted to lick my you-know-what. Really??? Then when I said he was disrespectful and rude, he broke into a tirade about how rude it was not to respond to him right away and how my "revealing outfits" made him think I was an easy target.

I know I will get flack for this but I don't see women getting the wrong impression with men who are taking pictures of themselves in their bathrooms with no shirt on and just in their underwear. To me that's worse than me showing cleavage. Really guys....give me a break! As I said in my profile, when you cover up so shall I. Double standard much?? Anyway, so that might be why you guys are having trouble on here. I have given up!
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 100
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/7/2012 1:48:23 PM
@ hearton64 your funny, LOL not sure why i became your whipping boy, after weve talked so much and youve helped me get through thius roughtime , hmmm puzzling, but it shows your real character.


Whipping boy? Please! I did help you out alot.I did sit and listen I did feel for you until I came into these threads and saw just how ridiculous your attitude is and how easy it is to blame "shallow women" no matter who tells you that EVERYONE has a right to thier preference in someone and if they don't WANT YOU,that doesn't make them shallow or only seeking RICH, MODELS! I mean come on Jeff! Give it a rest already!

I know you came here completely insecure,with some baggage regarding women,I just didn't realize to what extent and it simply saddens me to see you continue to blame "shallow" women for your own issues.Sure....you aren't "god's gift to women" in the looks department..but since I found this place I have yet to see a man who made me have a spontaneous orgasm whilst standing! Nor did I EVER run into a man who had more money than I did....so yeah.......we all "settle" to a certain degree.

My true character is not up for debate here, just because I called you out for all your whining as did others.I simply refuse to support a man who refuses to take personal responsibility for his own plight and that says alot about YOUR lack of character.

Sorry if the truth hurts,but you can't keep whinning about how ALL WOMEN ARE SHALLOW if you can't man up and grow up and consider lowering your standards from super model's yourself. There are 1000's of women here who would date a man without a chip on his shoulder!

Too bad they don't meet YOUR standards.All you really need to do is chill the hell out and not come at women with your d*ck in your hand and that will be more than most do here!

Good luck Jeff.With your attitude...you WILL need it.
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