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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?      Home login  
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 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 126
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?Page 6 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Come on, Matt.
He doesn't seem like a bad person just because has things that neither you or I have. A congrats is in order for busting his ass.
It does no good to hate on someone because they have more then you. Someone somewhere is always going to have more. It just depends on their attitude about it. However this does make me want to put a picture of my truck on my profile. It's not Maserati but I'm a country boy and I like trucks.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 127
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 4:12:04 PM
I actually miss the landcruiser I lifted and put a hydraulic PTO winch on... I stupidly sold it because my ex-wife did not like it and her dream car was a Maserati.

BTW I payed much less than one would think for the car because they don't hold value like a two seat Ferrari and the economy was bottomed at the time. It was used had clean car fax and just 15,000 miles. It cost less than a new full size Chevy crew cab. I will buy a used truck after I get back from deployment. My saddle wont even fit in the dang trunk.

If it is you, has you in the photo and it does not look like blatantly showing off I say bring out the truck photo.. I was emailed by a hot Canadian import to the LA area. She has a photo posing with her truck..
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 128
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 4:17:22 PM
Geez.
My fellow silly guys.

So it has come to THIS:
My email pile is bigger than yours.
...well HOW big is it then?
LOL
 rbwdm
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 129
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 4:30:15 PM
Back on topic; Chipinsd (Msg: 140) has summed it up pretty well.

There is one thing that I would like to add and that is the hostility of the interactions when the rare one does materialize. That is the one thing that I didn't anticipate; I thought that when they finally talked to someone decent, the woman would be overjoyed that the guy is not a jerk. I have found the opposite to be true. Nice guys get treated like crap; probably worse than someone who is willing to stoop to that level and dish it right back.

Unfortunately I have begun to respond to this hostility with the same; so as soon as it comes out; its pretty much over. The following is the typical script: ME: Hi, how are you ! SHE: Insults me and kicks me in the nads. ME: F-U ! (next)

As such this site has become useless for me.

Yes, I know the desirable ladies get tons of attention and yes most of it is negative for them (rude obnoxious guys, propositions for sex, inappropriate pics, etc). But taking out their frustrations on every guy they talk to ruins it for everyone. I think of it as a filter. Nice guys start out being nice and either 1) Leave because they don't like being treated like crap or 2) They end up acting like all the other jerks (self fulfilling prophecy; if I'm going to be treated like a jerk anyway, I might as well act the part). So after all the nice guys leave, all that remain are the jerks.

I wish I could say the easy solution would be for the ladies to treat the guys with respect but I know that isn't realistic. Just like how I respond to hostility WITH hostility; it is human nature for the ladies to act they way they do when most of the guys they interact with are jerks. Wish there was a simple answer but I don't think so.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 130
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 5:19:36 PM
The way I see it is if you aren't happy with the response rate you are getting, you have two options essentially: Become a more manipulative liar or learn to accept it.

More than a few people have done their own experiments in here with faked profiles just to measure the differences in response rates. Having some pouty beefcake head shot will certainly increase your response rate. Eye candy is golden in such a superficial place as this. There is an assembly line of thumbnails flowing past each member constantly while in here, the ones that catch the eye get noticed more than the rest.

Saying you get a 100% response rate is pathetic. Get real.

So looks are certainly not everything but they are the main thing and there's no denying that fact.

So what? Real life isn't much different for the most part. Guys who don't look like porn stars or Mr. February tend to focus on other aspects and highlight the things they can offer. Given the limitations of this site, it is more difficult to feature things like writing, music, art, dance or whatever but not impossible.

Regardless of what I read in here, I know two things: I'm a pretty good looking guy and get attention from women everywhere I go. Also, my real life experiences do not match my online dating experiences...especially lately. There is a disconnect, that much is clear to me.

I think the problem is that in real life, a woman can see me coming from a distance. If I talk with her, we have a few minutes to exchange words and have a laugh or whatever. Online, I suspect we have about four seconds to make an impression before someone clicks the next button. This is why the looks are so disproportionately valued in here. That's one opinion anyway.

Another problem is that there is no real contact between people online. I know some of you are convinced that you can detect a person's soul oozing through your monitor but for most of us, we are alone sitting in front of our computers. Personality or presence can be impossible to convey through still photos and truncated text for some people.

Folks who feel like online dating isn't working for them might want to consider taking advantage of regional meet-ups through POF parties and events. I used to really enjoy those last time I was in here.

I wish you all better fishin'
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 131
view profile
History
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 5:58:45 PM

Saying you get a 100% response rate is pathetic. Get real.


It's possible - after a while, you can tell what "type" of person will respond to you by their look/profile, and then only message that type of person.

It's even easier at other dating sites that show racial preferences, for me, at least. If they put "any" - it would be around 50% (with an actual approach, I can "cheat" and just send a funny non-dating comment about their profile and get much higher), if they put "black" as a preference, it bumps up to around 90. Preference - checking and visual cues can bump response rates up a HUGE deal, and lower the amount of wasted emails you send.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 132
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 7:07:46 PM
^^^^
I think your point was a good one.
I too get 100% response rate to women who email me first.

So I'm thinking some guys are just mad cus women don't contact them first.
Can't help em with that.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 133
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 7:42:22 PM
Ok fellas, you are amazing and I am clearly unworthy of basking in your glory.

Saying you have a 100% response rate and then adding the qualifier "from women who contact me first" is foolish and completely misses the point. You are the responder in this situation, it doesn't factor into your supposed response rate. Response rate means how many replies you get from messages that you have initiated.

The person I had in mind when I wrote my comment was RED_DRAGON as a matter of fact. Name yourself after a serial killer, put your name in ALLCAPS, paint your skin gold and sport some weird welding goggles and you too can get a 100% response rate? I was thinking of 3/7 when I slipped the pouty beefcake zinger in there.

Here is how it works in my experience. I see a thumbnail pic that might possibly be of an attractive woman or something else that catches my eye, I click on it and check out the profile. I try to remember to save my time by immediately scrolling to the bottom to check her filters first. I see some of her interests are cool. I like the stuff she writes and I decide to send off a message.

Given that POF doesn't clear out inactive profiles and that a certain percentage will be total fakes made up as a joke or something plus the fact almost every man in here has noticed that many women don't bother to respond at all (obviously men do this too) leads me to the conclusion that anyone suggesting they get a 100% response rate is either lying or hasn't sent out more than one or two messages.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 134
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 8:07:45 PM
I too get 100% response rate to women who email me first.


Count me as studly also; because I'm in the same boat.

;)

 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 135
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 8:16:51 PM
Hey...let him bask.
I'm glad my glory can be put to good use.
Cus it's just an annoyance for me.
:-P
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 136
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 8:27:49 PM

I just don't have that kind of time or patience I guess.


I don't mean to pick on you 3/7 but I'm finding it harder and harder to accept your claims with each new comment.

Your perfect response rate apparently comes from your head shot alone? You think I'm over-thinking this stuff and you can't even be bothered to read a woman's profile?

Either you are completely full of crap or I am clearly giving women far more credit than they deserve.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 137
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 8:55:27 PM
addhomonym: i usually like your ideas and agree with a lot of your posts. 3/7 may be full of crap, but i also think youre giving women way too much credit.

i have a friend using pof as we speak and hes got 3 dates lined up for this week alone. hes a good looking guy who has almost nothing filled out in his profile and just responds to the women who message him. hes also talking back and forth with about 3 other women, and stopped talking to 4 more because they either "had nothing to say" or they were "fat chicks"

its all about your pics man.
 rbwdm
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 138
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 9:42:19 PM
Yep, its all about the pics and about how to de-fuse all the hostility and negative energy. Pics open the door; ability to lie (golden tongue ) gets you in. Below a "9" in looks and like to tell the truth? Might as well leave right now.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 139
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/9/2012 11:10:01 PM
Dude, you got mail.

Things seem to have a natural rhythm in here - they'll go from sweet to nasty and back again. Don't take it personally. I'm sorry if I made a new member feel uncomfortable, that isn't cool.
 ingrid2000
Joined: 7/13/2012
Msg: 140
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/10/2012 2:10:46 PM
OP I think your profile is very nice. It is well written and your pics are cute. I am pretty old, so I may be off base here, but when I was your age, I was out doing things, meeting people, and generally socializing in real life. I still do those things but as an adult with responsibilities and time constraints ( not to mention that most of my friends are married) I find the internet a useful option. I would imagine you'd do better in real life but I really think your profile is fine.
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 141
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/13/2012 5:23:08 AM
At best, maybe 1 in 7. At worse, about 1 in 10. None of the conversations have really gone anywhere though.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 142
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/13/2012 6:57:08 AM

Can you just dig back into the previous threads and find your object of obsession and READ it? This is silly. What do my headshots have to do with anything?

OMG! I'm kinda new here. Is this typical?


You have ruffled the feathers of some of the long timers that have had no success. So when you come out and say you hit on 100% you will get some flak. I believe you. It doesnt bother me because I am a forum only guy. Here is why I believe you. A friend of mine told me that it doesnt matter what your profile reads. He stated that a good looking guy could say absolutely nothing in his profile and he would get more responses, emails that he could handle. I disagreed. We bet 100 bucks. A picture with the minimum verbage would receive 30 emails in 7 days. I paid off the bet in 5 days. Men are always accused of being to visual and superficial. I think women are closing the gap.
 Phil_an_derer
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 143
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/13/2012 7:26:32 AM
Well, I 'm average in looks and short, but the women that have added me as a fav is well over 200....but on saying that, I can send out legit messages asking women legitimate questions....like one lady...she had pics of a trip to Africa so I messaged her as I was planning a trip to the same spot and wanted her input...no response, this has happened many times on this site....maybe I should have groveled at her feet first...and those are the only types of messages I send out... I would say "its been 50/50"....and I might throw out a message once or twice a week....
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 144
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/13/2012 7:35:00 AM

@ hearton64, lol funny, no more attitude here, life is too short. i want to become better not bitter, i do have a potential date on sunday with a nice woman from on here. she has a busy schedule, so im hoping sunday but we WILL def meet up. and another one pending too , different woman, both live kind of far , but breaking the ice will be a good thing for me, they will see what a great guy is. :) but thanks for your concern. jeff



YEAH FOR YOU! See now! It just takes some patience and some hope and some time to find a potential date here or anywhere and leaving some baggage on the curb can only help.
I hope your dates work out for you.And I didn't mean to leave you hanging,I just felt as though I couldn't break thru your attitude without being blunt nor could I help you as long as you believed something I just don't see as the problem.Sorry about that.

Good luck and hang tough! Don't take rejection personally as you and I both know,if someone who you find unattractive messages you,you would come off as shallow too if you rejected her,but you do have a right to your choices in women based on whatever you find important.Looks,money,sex...whatever.....it's ALL about choice.


So..here's to GREAT GUYS without chips on thier shoulders finding what they are looking for despite what seems like insurmountable odds.

Peace
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 145
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/13/2012 8:26:05 AM

A friend of mine told me that it doesnt matter what your profile reads. He stated that a good looking guy could say absolutely nothing in his profile and he would get more responses, emails that he could handle. I disagreed. We bet 100 bucks. A picture with the minimum verbage would receive 30 emails in 7 days. I paid off the bet in 5 days.


I searched for a quote I once read but could not find it. So I will do my best to paraphrase it. Sometimes the less is known about an option makes it the easiest to decide on. The less you write the less they have to nit pick and talk themselves out of it over.

When I had just put up my current photos, had deleted most of my profile until I wrote something new... I was getting many women emailing me. I had to put deploying in the profile to weed out those who just could not deal with it ahead of time.


Men are always accused of being to visual and superficial. I think women are closing the gap.


I believe this never existed and the gap was merely hidden by being polite in real life, online the veil comes off to reveal the genders behave much the same.
 mjk3937
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 146
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/13/2012 9:07:24 AM

A friend of mine told me that it doesnt matter what your profile reads. He stated that a good looking guy could say absolutely nothing in his profile and he would get more responses, emails that he could handle. I disagreed. We bet 100 bucks. A picture with the minimum verbage would receive 30 emails in 7 days. I paid off the bet in 5 days. Men are always accused of being to visual and superficial. I think women are closing the gap.


If a highly attractive man with a crappy profile gets a lot of messages, it doesn't follow that what you write doesn't matter. What if the written description you used in the fake profile was substantive, original, and clever? I bet there would have been even more incoming emails. I've experimented with a few different versions of my profile while keeping the same pictures posted, and I've noticed a fair amount of variation in the volume/quality of messages I've received. The shortest profile I had generated very few initial contacts from attractive, educated women. Anyone with a lot of options will choose based on both looks AND personality.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 147
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/13/2012 9:53:05 AM
I believe this never existed and the gap was merely hidden by being polite in real life, online the veil comes off to reveal the genders behave much the same.
. I believe you to be correct.

Mjk, No one said that what you write doesnt matter at all. The argument was, how much does it matter. Apparently, not as much as I thought it did.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 148
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/13/2012 10:23:41 AM

Sometimes the less is known about an option makes it the easiest to decide on. The less you write the less they have to nit pick and talk themselves out of it over.


Another way to say this is "familiarity breeds contempt". There is a balance between too little and too much but I think you bring up an excellent point. My profile would be a classic example of too much information. Then again, I'm that kind of guy. If a woman can't make it through my profile she wouldn't even make it through a coffee date with me.

I guess that's why I'm drinking my coffee alone?
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 149
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/13/2012 6:09:14 PM
Maybe try sending a message with a nastier tone.

Many of these women who dont respond to you being kind, inquiring and respectful ENJOY the drama of a good sh*t slinging. It makes alot of sense too; single moms, drama everywhere, it's sorta how they roll!!

Please keep in mind that you probably......dont want em anyways.

But ya; negative messages always come back, whereas nice thoughtful messages just dont hit any nerves.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 150
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:08:43 AM
^^^This certainly would explain a lot.
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