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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?      Home login  
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 CanIMakeULaugh
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 151
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?Page 7 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

negative messages always come back, whereas nice thoughtful messages just dont hit any nerves.


Bingo! And THAT is why so many decent people get fed up and beat it out of here while the idiots and perverts are here to stay.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 152
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:41:19 AM
If a highly attractive man with a crappy profile gets a lot of messages, it doesn't follow that what you write doesn't matter. What if the written description you used in the fake profile was substantive, original, and clever? I bet there would have been even more incoming emails. I've experimented with a few different versions of my profile while keeping the same pictures posted, and I've noticed a fair amount of variation in the volume/quality of messages I've received. The shortest profile I had generated very few initial contacts from attractive, educated women. Anyone with a lot of options will choose based on both looks AND personality.


The profile does matter. However I still think photos are the most important thing. Also as mentioned before, I ( and others ) said that the content of the email had very little impact positive reply rate.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 153
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 3:43:48 PM
It's all important and is like fishing. Your profile is the hook and your email is the line you have out. Your photos are the bait. If you don't have good bait no bites. If you have a good photo but a bad hook they will take the bait and spit it out. If your bait and hook are good and the email is weak the line will break and you lost them.

It all matters with photos seeming to be more important because it is the first step.

Online dating is like fishing over fished poluted waters. They have all seen just about every lure and the odds of landing a healthy keeper very improbable.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 154
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 3:50:57 PM

Bingo! And THAT is why so many decent people get fed up and beat it out of here while the idiots and perverts are here to stay.


That's true.

I mostly come here for the forums now, but when I snapped and snapped back at women a while back; most EVERY one of them engaged in a back and forth. Yet, when I was positive, complimentary, and in depth about their ad and such; not a single reply.

Such a bad testament to dating sites these days
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 155
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 4:04:49 PM

That's true.

I mostly come here for the forums now, but when I snapped and snapped back at women a while back; most EVERY one of them engaged in a back and forth. Yet, when I was positive, complimentary, and in depth about their ad and such; not a single reply.

Such a bad testament to dating sites these days

Women want a guy with an edge, and apparently...not absolute, but apparent...that translates to not being genuine?
I disagree with it, but there is a medium to be had with that.

Treat 'em like dirt and they'll stick like mud.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 156
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 5:37:16 PM
lol i see the women are totally avoiding this thread now. cant say i blame them. i have noticed thhat most of the guys on the forum kinda get the way things work on here.

ive got a few single friends in the real world on here and they all say the same exact things we mention in this thread. ive sat around and showed my fake profiles and conversations to my guy friends and they couldnt believe it. the amount of attention you get by being a jerk with nice pics is amazing.

i have tried the really good pics along with good profile out. i used my old dating profile (which was actually pretty good) along with great pics and got tons of attention. while some profile changes MAY help some people, pics are the game changer.

random interesting story...
the best i ever did on here with my legit pics was when my entire profile was a joke. the only honest info on it was my age, height, and body type. it was funny, but kinda mean. i got quite a few messages like that. one of them was from a woman saying she wanted someone "real" in her profile. i responded to her message by saying that she says she wants someone real, but messages a guy with all obvious lies in his profile. kinda contradictory dont ya think? we chatted a bit, but she wasnt for me.
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 157
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:48:07 PM
Mr Wrong..Im going to borrow your profile for a week just to see what happens. Mr likes to travel, going to school, works a full time job just isnt cutting it.
 blueeyes2410
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 158
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:55:53 PM
Ok... So the only way to get a girl is if you act like a jerk? Yeah maybe that works with some women, but these women have some self esteem issues, and so why would you want someone unhealthy? Or maybe a young girl who only cares about looks. I was guilty of this, ill admit, but have gotten wiser. Now I don't care how hot a guy is, im looking for marriage material at this point. And don't ever do the negging technique. If you research that you will find a lot of outraged women. If you want to attract quality, you need to be quality. And if you think a bad response is better than no response? That's sad. I myself don't even bother responding to angry dudes.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 159
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 8:06:58 PM
HeyDerHay um?
^^ Bound to happen after 8 pages. A post with nothing to do with what was discussed.. LOL

Back on topic


Or maybe a young girl who only cares about looks. I was guilty of this, ill admit, but have gotten wiser.


Some just don't wise up. Others look for substance only after clicking on the profiles with the most eye candy. I had the same substance, morals and achievements. Only after adding new photos and a mix of attitude and humor to my profile did I get responses.


Now I don't care how hot a guy is, im looking for marriage material at this point.


It seems that online they are more likely consider the most important factor in "marriage material" to consist of the mans ability to obtain material things. People just are not on their best behavior when given the available options and anonymity online.


And don't ever do the negging technique. If you research that you will find a lot of outraged women. If you want to attract quality, you need to be quality.


Exactly. If they are not quality do not waste your time stooping to their level.

Guys if you want quality forget POF-Pretentious Ostensible Females and get out on the town.

NONE and I mean absolutely NONE of the women I have dated on any online site (POF,OKC^pid,M@tch) can hold a candle to the women I have met out in the real world and dated. I am currently seeing a Latina nurse that combines heart like Flo Nightingale with Salma Hayek attractiveness. Yeah I am a happy SOB.


And if you think a bad response is better than no response? That's sad.


That's also stupid. A response is just some text on a screen as compared to an actual date not fulfilling and you can't go to 2nd base with an email.
 statesshapes
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 160
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 8:26:43 PM
I used to care about response rate just like you, but now I've stopped counting and stopped caring. The rate doesn't matter. Change your concern to getting a response from someone you actually want to talk with. Afterall, that's what matters most, unless you're here just to get mail.

1 in 15, 1 in 6, or 1 in 8 are all actually very high response rates on this site.

This site is toxic. The more effort you put into it, the more frustrated you'll get.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 161
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 8:53:40 PM
I like the idea of response rates being irrelevant since there is only one response that is going to matter in the end.

Well, that's the idea anyway.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 162
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 11:07:55 PM
There are so many more guys on dating sites now and women can have their pick. Also you are not average build unless I am mistaken, but a few pounds extra at least . You experience what most guys do and I wouldnt expect too much.

If women dont like the pics they are not going to bother with the profile, same with the guys.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 163
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 11:10:02 PM
I think englstudent, that you dont have a car is a real dealbreaker. But it was cruel of them to say you are ugly. But the cyberspace dating sites are not for the fainthearted and you need a tough hide if you are going to fish in this vast ocean. That you contacted 1000 women is amazing. Were you just hitting on the pics?
 narkshark
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 164
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/14/2012 11:32:36 PM
So I just finished reading this thread up to this point.

I've sent out about three online messages a day over the course of a month, with each one custom to the profile I was reading, asking questions about the person's interests, commenting on things they had to say, and things like that. Staying casual, none of that nonsense that girls complain about like "yo what up dawg". I only messaged women that I thought were interesting, and looked like they took care of themselves.

Of the 90-ish messages sent, I had about 70 views of my profile, and 8 message replies. Of those, 3 were interested to meet after trading some messages back and forth. Same story on okc**pid. (I got 2 people wanting to meet on that site.) Of those 5 people that wanted to meet, 2 actually showed up and the rest canceled at the last second or just stopped responding. These were not abandoned profiles.

In each case, I knew what was likely to happen so the place we were to meet was somewhere I would have gone anyways on my own since it was a fun event or something.

Of the two people I met, we actually had a good time and talked for over an hour. Both have now flaked out on every attempt to meet again, and that's being casual with text messages or calls. I was most certainly not bombing them with messages or anything.

As a side note: I have been messaged first by women twice this month, but in each case I really didn't see any attraction (much bigger girls, not my thing, sorry) and I very politely let them know that while sending a few messages back and forth would be okay, I didn't think I would want to meet but that I appreciated their interest and hoped they found what they were looking for.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 165
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 12:00:29 AM
blueeyes: like moto said, many women never grow out of that phase. i also agree with everything you said. however, you arent the norm around here, trust me. its also very telling how a woman responds as to what theyre genuinely looking for. youre being smart and looking for someone quality, so you are expecting a quality person, not just quality pics. i can respect that. a vast majority of the women on this site put so much emphasis on looks, that it gets to the point where nothing else really matters. my standards on looks are easy. can i see myself possibly having sex with this person? if the answer is yes, they pass. substance and character are what you build lasting relationships on, not hotness.

dauntless: you are correct my friend. ive seen it play out just as you describe. trouble is, by the time a woman gets to the age where she wants a nice guy, that poor sap has all of her years of baggage to deal with. if he has any options at all, he will pass.

moto: im with ya man. i quit using this site for dating purposes already. i do enjoy the forum conversations so ill stick around for that. as long as i dont have any pics up, i know ill never have a woman message me looking to meet.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 166
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 2:01:45 AM
That was kind of a giant leap Roger and WAY WAY off... NOT foreign born and NOT foreign raised. She was born and raised in Los Angeles.

"The final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands." Anne Frank

A persons career choice is a substantial indicator of their character and what is important to them.

P.S. I would stay away from foreign born and raised unless they already have citizenship. Always question motives.
 CanIMakeULaugh
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 167
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 5:30:29 AM

Women don't like the nice guy until they hit 35..maybe 40


I used to think that too...but now as I very rapidly approach my 40th birthday (gasp!) and most of the women with whom I deal whether it is online or through the so-called more traditional and old-fashioned methods, I realize how many of them do NOT grow out of that stage. I think it is another by-product of this current messed up generation and societal norms along with the obvious disgusting lack of common courtesy and respect often exhibited by members of both genders. In other words, this wasn't nearly as big of a problem in 1970 or even 1990. In the 21st century, God help the nice guy no matter what age you are.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 168
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 5:40:32 AM
I have always liked nice guys, they usually do not seem to like nice women.
 Tgav4367
Joined: 4/28/2012
Msg: 169
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 6:55:22 AM
I've met several self proclaimed "nice guys" and/or "good men".

Kinda funny how the true colors come out pretty quick when talking.

Pretty obvious that what people think of themselves certainly isn't the way they project themselves to others.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 170
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 7:28:22 AM
^^^ The problem my friend is one of semantics.

What really is a nice guy?

I think I am a nice guy, but that doesn't prevent me from being a horndog or dumping someone that is a user with few redeeming qualities.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 171
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 8:29:20 AM
@Tgav: Those aren't real nice guys, those are pretenders. I'm going to give my 'Nice Guy' rant. It may be a little off topic but who cares.

Nice guys do not exist. Nice guys are viewed as pushovers....No, pushovers are viewed as pushovers, and they are not men they are spineless doormats who dont know where their balls are. Nice guts swear up and down that they are shot down or rejected because they are "So nice". Honestly, they were lied to by women. Women turned them down because they are "a nice guy, but..." or something else. So they got this embedded in their head that they are a nice guy, and wonder why some shoot them down for being a nice guy. Women did not shoot this guy down because he is a nice guy they shot him down because he's a door mat. The nice guy thing is a thing women say to save the spineless wonder's ego, so he doesn't get crushed. It's not all women's fault it's this guys fault for not standing up for himself and taking action. He's the one who needs to work on his self confidence and not be such a yea man. Nice guys don't exist, it's a term used for "Non Guys". They lack charisma, confidence, and self esteem. Women want the medium between the a hole and nice guy. But a holes don't exist either until they do something to hurt the woman. Now if the guy is an abuser or cheater he isn't an a hole, he isn't even human, he's a jackass! Women the best thing you can do with the nice guys is be blunt or brutally honest with them. Tell them they are a tool, that other women will not like a guy who doesn't have the correct parts downstairs.
 NewYorkbiker
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 172
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 8:31:52 AM
"Nice guys always finish last" lol
Whom does not consider themselves a nice guy...
Our closest friends will always say we are nice...People that don't like us so much will probably tend to say different...

As for response rates, it seems to go in spurts...I might go a few weeks without a reply and then all of a sudden I will get maybe 3 replies out of 10 messages...I have actually done a lot better on one of the other free sites...

As for another forum topic I read a while back, the general consensus was not to send a second message if you did not receive a reply from your initial message... I have found on quite a few occasions that when I had sent a second message to someone I was interested in, I would get a reply, usually just a short cute message mentioning the first message.... Of course a lot of times that didn't really matter because it led nowhere, but on a few occasions we ended talking and meeting and was worth the effort of the second message...
Just saying....
 YAMACANMECRAZY
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 173
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 8:44:53 AM
Women don't like the nice guy until they hit 35..maybe 40?


Ummm .... I have not found this to be ture. My search range is 48 to 55 and my experience tell me that nothing has changed.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 174
view profile
History
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 9:46:22 AM
Nice guys and nice girls usually finish first. Women I've been wilth always appreciate a nice guy. I've always appreciated a nice woman.

If someone turns out not to be as nice as we originally thoufght, we just appreciate the next nice person all the more.

The saying 'nice guys finish last'...usually comes from guys who aren't all that nice but are rather negative whiners who don't have a high regard for most women.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 175
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 8/15/2012 10:31:48 AM
Oh no now it's a NGFL thread...
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