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 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 21
Living with Jack Spratt!Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Op.....I can relate to you. In my case it isn't my partner, in my case it's my son, with hollow legs.
I've always said that I don't understand how people become addicted to cigarettes and alcohol because they're all acquired tastes. The first time you try a cigarette or have a drink it's terrible, but you become used to it over time due to social pressure.

As far as food goes I can understand how one can be overweight completely. It tastes good,lol!

The way I handle myself is portion control. I've never had the time to cook different meals but I always make balanced meals; protein, lots of vegetables and sides of carbs( rice, pasta or poatoes) . I load up on the veggie portions, a regular protein portion and a bit of the carbs, to take the cravings away. I'll eat the protein and the vegetables first and leave the carbs for last. Most times a few bites will satisfy me since I feel full by that time.

I also find that staying active and getting some form of excercise at least every other day helps keep my weight under control. I'm not saying I don't slip at times. I can breathe and gain 10 pounds over night, but I reign myself in by weighing myself daily. If I see myself slipping I'll cut the carbs for a few days until I'm back to where I feel comfortable.
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 22
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Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:18:27 PM
I agree with what MsGirlyMuscle said.

The bottom line is that you need to avoid the crap (red meat is fine—donuts and cookies, minimize).

Also, just because he doesn't gain weight doesn't mean that junk is doing him any favors, but he's getting by with it. I was a "hard gainer", and was nearly 40 before I could put on the weight I wanted, and it took 4000-4500 calories a day for a year. It would have been a tragedy if someone was trying to keep up with me—lol.

Since then I went low carb, so I routinely deal with picking restaurants where I can get what I want, and my gf or date can get what they want. It's not difficult.

However, I broke up with my gf of three and a half years recently, and one of the issues was that she was overweight, had a high blood-sugar problem (and diabetic mother), yet was terribly addicted to desserts, garlic fries, etc. I never gave her a hard time about it, but ultimately it did influence the breakup. She was 24 years younger than me, and I was concerned that she was less healthy, and I felt like I was a bit of an enabler by not giving her a hard time about her eating habits.
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 23
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/1/2012 7:01:15 PM
Talk to him about it. Ask if he could do more of his snacking when he is not at home, and have him buy his treats in single serving sizes. It is more expensive, but it really helps with portion control.

Also, although he may not gain weight, his cholesterol and blood pressure can be affected by a poor diet. My ex is and always was naturally thin. He would just get hot and sweat when he ate a whole bag of chips (and not the single serving size); it was like stoking a fire. But as early as 30, he started having high chololesterol and blood pressure issues. He could control both by diet, but it was work b/c he was not in the habit of watching what he ate.

More emphasis on healthy eating might be the best way to compromise.
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 24
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/1/2012 8:00:55 PM

Talk to him about it.

Yeah, I did do that tonight. I used this forum post as a lead in... I usually talk about some of the silly things I say and see on here ;)

So, he was more than willing to stop with the junk food at home and said he'd just start eating a bigger lunch during the day.

I feel kind of silly I never brought it up, but I always felt it was my problem, and I was the one that had to deal with it.

It's so nice to know he's willing to do his part in spite of my weaknesses.

Thanks all.
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 25
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Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/1/2012 8:06:56 PM
Oh good for you both, OP.

Communication saves the day again.

Maybe this will also be an example to others because it shows how a good man behaves when he truly cares about his woman.

Thanks for sharing!
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 26
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/1/2012 8:12:27 PM
Make sure there are only healthy foods in the house. If your boyfriend wants to eat fatty foods, tell him he has to eat them outside the house. Healthy food tastes great, so he doesn't need to feel deprived. In the end, though, it's all about balance and acknowledging that treats should only be viewed as treats, not part of the ordinary diet.
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 27
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:54:04 AM
Have someone that you're accountable to and make sure they hold you to it to not touch them food.
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 28
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 4:20:52 AM
Sugar deteriorates the blood cells the same way cigarettes damage the lungs.

So maybe he is not getting fat, but his internal system is slowly eroded away with the sugar, unless he has lots of whole grains that are barely processed to neutralise the effects.

Blood cells that are eroded will not fight cancer cells as well as healthy ones.
Good food choices are so important regardless of the weight.

Make sure whatever you put in the trolley is healthy and you both benefit.
Think of healthy comfort foods.

Avocado on rye with parmy instead of tasty cheese

cauliflower and sweet corn soup made without cream is what I made when I need something comfort food too. I make it thickand creamy with some chicken stock..
Choose corn chips no flavour and tomato salsa instead of potato chips and cream dips..
have fun exploring healthier options!@
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 29
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Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 4:47:55 AM
Am I the only one who doesn't know who Jack Spratt is? Guess I should google him..

Jack Spratt is the protagonist in a series of alternate history science fiction fantasy novels by Jasper Fforde. He was named after the character from the English nursery rhyme. As revealed in The Big Over Easy, for example, he hates eating fat, and was once married to a woman who ate nothing else (hence, she died).

Wow, so many Jack Spratt came up. Guess it's a saying for a skinny guy.

OP, I have a little different take on this.
IMO he shouldn't do it a front of you, knowing that it is a battle for you to ignore the constant temptations.
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 30
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 5:30:16 AM
Hi and congrats on the talk with your bf! I too have lived with Jack Spratt and fell victim to his unintentional undermining. Things as simple as he would take the kids to the store and allow them a candy bar to have in the car and drive around the block a few times while they ate it. I would get in the car and the wrappers would still be in there and of course the auto had the leftover aroma of chocolate! Sometimes it would be Mc D's or what ever was on my banned food list. I had no willpower!

Fast forward to a new life in another country... I went to a weight loss doctor who put me on a 900 calorie a day supervised diet and I followed it to the letter and in the first month only lost 4 lbs. I felt like such a major failure when my (new but overweight) husband who was just eating what I was cooking (plus his contraband) lost 14 lbs the first month. I turned into a major shrew! (sheepish grin) Obviously, that diet was not going to work for me but I stuck with it another month and lost 3 lbs while he lost 8 more then started bragging to people how I went on a diet and he was losing all the weight.

The good news is that I learned a lot of coping skills and a lot about how the body will keep requiring more and more sugar. I learned a lot of diet tricks like always measure your portions and if your going to "cheat" do it smartly. My downfall is Frito's corn chips so my game plan was to always count out my serving but make a dip out of pureed low fat cottage cheese with a bit of lemon juice and spices... lots of good protein and replaces the empty snack calories but satisfies my craving. I make a soup much like Lakeside Swan's but with cauliflower, broccoli, onion, turnip with chicken stock and puree it. It comes out nice and thick naturally. If I am going to be out and about, I will heat some and put it in the thermos to take along. I can take a sip if I feel peckish and avoid stopping for fast food. BTW, veggies have no limit on the amount you are allowed to consume, so the soup is a freebie! Divide a protein bar into two portions then cube them into 1 cm squares storing them in ziploc bags that you can toss in your purse. It sure beats a candy bar with empty calories and satisfies my sweet tooth. Last of all... read your labels, look for the highest protein, lowest calorie and lowest sugar contents.

Best of luck to you!
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 31
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 5:34:29 AM
i had the same problem with my ex. my fault for letting him do the shopping! he'd buy all this junk, this tasty, tasty junk. and since i work out of my home office and i'm basically busy-lazy i'd end up doing a lot of snacking as a matter of convenience. before i knew it, my fookin pants wouldn't fit lol. god almighty, something had to be done. i asked him to stop bringing that stuff into the house, "buy all the chips you want, but take that shite to your office!"

if i ever find myself in that situation again, i'm taking over the shopping. i simply do not bring faux food the house. ON THE OTHER HAND, since i stopped eating junk i discovered that i've completely lost my taste for it (when i eventually went back for a taste). sodas are disgusting, and most snack foods taste cloying, like the chemicals they're laced with. so even if that stuff was here in the house today, i think it would be pretty easy for me to avoid it. it's simply *that* unappetizing. my suggestion would be that if you can find the willpower to just stop eating stuff that's bad for you, you'll eventually get to the point that the temptation evaporates. you'll look at a box of ho-hos and say ugh instead of having your pupils dilate in a fit of junk food lust.
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 32
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 5:59:20 AM

and since i work out of my home office and i'm basically busy-lazy i'd end up doing a lot of snacking as a matter of convenience. before i knew it, my fookin pants wouldn't fit lol. god almighty, something had to be done.

That's exactly my position. I work at home and do a lot of snacking... never was a problem when it was just me deciding what went into the cupboards.

Sugar-sweets are pretty easy for me to just ignore, but if I do have one it seems to set off urges for more.

My biggest ongoing temptations are the Doritos, potatoe salad, mixed nuts... that kind of thing. I love salty foods!

I've never been a health food fanatic, nor do I want to go down that road.

I just want to be able to zip up my size 8's and still have room to breath.
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 33
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:09:53 AM
janet i'm with ya on the salty stuff, that's my biggest guilty pleasure at the moment. have you tried the blue diamond almonds?? they are SO good, and very low in carbs and fat; just a handful is satisfying. my favorite is the habanero BBQ, but there are other flavors. sometimes i buy a little beef jerky... the chewier the better.

just want to be able to zip up my size 8's and still have room to breath.

lol. i heard the slurpy machines at the 7-11's in thailand serve mashed potatoes. i'll be right over.
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 34
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Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:23:56 AM
I think the hardest thing is that many healthy options require a certain amoutn of prep time and the junk food is easily accessed when you are standing in the kitchen looking for something to eat.

I try to have strawberries on hand as they really seem to deal with my sweet tooth or I eat a handful of almonds or peanuts. All easy to grab and better for you. Its tough when a bag of chips or cookies is sitting on the counter and you are hungry.
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 35
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 8:51:20 AM
Nice post, LakesideSwan. :)

I would like to add, please stay away from high fructose corn syrup, it’s in almost everything now. Read labels!

And don’t believe those HFCS commercials with the idiots saying your body can’t tell the difference. It most certainly can, and does….they’re hoping your brain can’t tell the difference.

Sex, Sex and more sex is the answer that you seek.... It is the best exercise known to man.

I so agree, 3ffervescent. :)
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 36
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:40:08 AM
Haven't read each and every post, but my thinking is; just because he CAN eat like that doesn't mean he SHOULD.

Trust me, up until my mid-30s I could eat ANYTHING that didn't try to eat me first, and lose weight in the process.

Now I'm having to retrain myself from the "I never met a calorie I didn't like" mindset.
My childhood was not about fast foods/processed foods, etc, we were discouraged from loading up on sweets, empty calories,but we ate red meat, potatoes, pasta(vegetables and salads were always served at meals and dessert was a "Sunday dinner" thing, not a daily feature).

But I agree with others, balance, portion cotrol, moderation, and start encouraging your guy to eat more chicken, fish, vegetables, fruits, salads.
One of the hats I wear is a bookseller specializing in cookbooks...particularly collectible and antique. But there are TONS of cookbooks out there that can help you prepare lighter versions of "real food", which will help BOTH of you.
Cindy O
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 37
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 11:20:14 AM
Ever thought of working with a dietician/nutritionist? Many people have precious little clue how many calories they should be consuming in a day for their body size (or goal size,) or what should be constituting those calories. As a diabetic, I've been on a "meal plan" of sorts since age 4. Carbohydrate counting is a huge component of this approach. It's essentially what the "Weight Watchers" diet was based on. Too many carbs/fats are bad of course. But the TYPES of fats can make a huge (no pun intended) difference as well. Hydrogentated oils/fats are in a LOT of store bought snacks/deserts and they really pack on the pounds and cholesterol. Do you drink pop (regular or diet?) Knock it off if so. Empty calories (and the body interprets artificial sweeteners as sugar, and releases the insulin in response, creating an inflammatory response in the body.)

Not eating out is really helpful in losing weight. They use cheap ingredients for more profit for the most part.
Alcohol? Lots of calories.

And... you're a year into a relationship. Like it or not, the "comfort factor" can set in and you can let yourself go. LOL!
He might be thin, but those crap food products will catch up with him at some point, at least internally. Maybe approach him in wanting to eat healthier for both your sakes?

Pretend you are ALLERGIC to things you should not have (which is, actually, one way you could look at it.) I have lots (LOTS) of allergies and I've had to watch others eat whatever they want quite a bit. But I don't want it if it will kill me of course. Pretend you CAN'T have it?

In any event, if you have a meal plan, count carbs, and you can include those calories from the "treats" into your meal plan. You'll have to measure or read labels for carb content, but it really works. I eat whatever I want (within reason) stay active, and put myself on fewer carbs if I start to chunk up.
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 38
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:29:26 PM

He might be thin, but those crap food products will catch up with him at some point, at least internally. Maybe approach him in wanting to eat healthier for both your sakes?

Thanks pescando75...

He came home for lunch a little while ago... I sat next to him while he ate his ham sandwich, potato salad, chips and big glass of milk as we talked about this thread again.

He's fine with changing the foods we have in the house and even suggested we sit down and make a list together so he doesn't screw up and get the wrong things.

I mentioned the suggestion some have made about us having more sex: "Honey, if we do it any more often my weiner's gonna fall off".

He's so friggin' lovable. We laugh about crazy stuff all the time.
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 39
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 1:55:46 PM
Thanks pescando75...

You're welcome.

Now, just for some perspective, you tend to get pretty short with some people on here with some serious issues that make "I can't keep my hand out of the cookie jar" look like the biggest child's play ever. Keep that in mind going forward if you would and show some more kindness to people.
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 40
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 2:10:56 PM
Tell him you gain weight easily and you find the food he eats very tempting and you would appreciate his support in this matter. It doesn't mean that he has to give up those foods completely, but that you are giving him the opportunity to come up with some ideas of his own to show you he cares about your health and well being and how you can both manage this conflict together.
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 41
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Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:38:49 PM
Not to be harsh but if you were both 25 it might be an understandable issue...but in your 50's? You can't take charge of what you put in your mouth at this stage of your life?

Surely if we tell teens 'just say no to drugs', you can say no to putting a cookie in your mouth.
This has ZIP to do with your partner and everything to do with you.
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 42
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/3/2012 10:15:44 AM

unless he has lots of whole grains that are barely processed to neutralise the effects.

I truly wish the "healthy whole grain" meme would die. . . .
Along with "low fat". . . .

This country had very little problem with overweight until the "Health Gurus" took over and started recommending those two. . . . The human body needs a good deal of fat. It needs NO frankenwheat or GMO grain. None.

Absolutely agree about sugar, however.

For Janet:
My ex was six foot one, hundred thirty pounds when I met him. Got him all the way up to a hundred forty five in the twelve years we were married. It took him a few years to notice that he ate four or five times what I ate, lol! What finally saved me, was finding a food program that was PRO-me, not ANTI-food. For me, it was low-to-no-carbs. After it became a way of life, junk food simply wasn't interesting to me. I cooked for me, made a whole lot of it, and if he wanted more or different, that was his job.
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 43
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/3/2012 10:24:05 AM

I cooked for me, made a whole lot of it, and if he wanted more or different, that was his job.

Yeah, I get what you're saying but the "cook for me" thing isn't really the vibe I want to have around here.

We're actually working on a solution together (thanks to all of you).

He went shopping last night while I was babysitting my granddaughter and got "all rabbit food"... LOL, according to him.

I'm gonna try picking up some of those Blue Diamond Almond things and making sure he has lots of bread and butter or rice or potatoes or whatever to supplement my less calorie excessive meals.

Thanks again everyone. Even the snarky ones.

You all make me smile regardless.
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 44
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:32:19 AM
Lol! I didn't mean to imply that it was unilateral. He pretty much loved my cooking, so was happy just to get more. . . . I even managed to cook Chinese that he and his friends found more than acceptable.
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 45
Living with Jack Spratt!
Posted: 8/3/2012 2:03:26 PM
Accept his high metabolism and your normal metabolism.

I had a friend with the same situation and felt she had to eat with him every single time. He was happy with the situation, however she gained 17 pounds over the course of several months. But he would have been fine if she had just sat with him and talked.

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