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 Conandoyle50
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 59
Monster ChildrenPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I appreciate the comments and input from others but not in immature post and name calling? Obviously, you are taking your "Man Hate" issues out on me packagedealx3, probably because you can't get or keep one. No body is "pissed" , or "furious", please don't dump your emotional baggage on me, sorry you took it that way. Now, you and your estrogen laden Clique can have at it....... I can take it :)
 Conandoyle50
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 60
Monster Children
Posted: 8/10/2012 8:01:58 AM
ichosethisnamefirst: Bingo!
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 62
Monster Children
Posted: 8/10/2012 11:58:00 AM

I would come back and tie her up to her bed and put a dirty sock in her mouth. Needless to say, she was so scared she didnt say a word.


curious if she gout of bed to test you, would you have followed thru....

obviously you wouldnt, however, isnt that what parents tell the other parent to have? consistency. if you say you are going to do something, there needs to be follow thru. when follow thru doesnt happen, the child knows it and will play the game because they got away with it before.

(not sure if im explaining my point clearly. ehhh. i tried.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 63
Monster Children
Posted: 8/10/2012 6:27:38 PM
ichosethisnamefirst: wonderful post, friend. you are totally spot on and i couldnt have said it better myself.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 64
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History
Monster Children
Posted: 8/13/2012 1:41:24 PM
I have ended relationships before for the same reason. I felt awful too - seeing this mom coddle her kids for every whimper, every whine, every poor behaviour because thats how they get her attention, and she's lightning quick to defend their bad behaviour and jump down the throats of anyone who tries to help. And what is her reward for exhausting herself trying to appease her poorly behaved kids? - a truckload of stress, total exhaustion, failed relationships with guys who can't handle lousy parenting, and the frustration of seeing her kids grow into the unhappy, whiny, manipulative creatures that she trained them to be.

What I did was explain that attention is a reward and if you reward your kids for bad behaviour, then they will continue to behave that way. If you catch your kids doing something good and lavish attention on them during those times instead, they'll be golden. When my kid misbehaved I didn't raise my voice or allow it to continue, I sent her to the corner and started the clock - one min x her age. I told her she can talk all she wants while she's in there too, and that I would restart the clock every time she did.
And that girl is so well behaved and loves me so much its almost disgusting.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 65
Monster Children
Posted: 8/17/2012 3:15:54 PM
Conandoyle50- Don't walk, run!
You didn't create this problem, she did.
There are lots of single mothers out there with great kids, find one.
 Womac911
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 67
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History
Monster Children
Posted: 8/17/2012 10:35:38 PM
For a short time, a woman and her two "monsters" we living with me.

When one of them almost burned down my house, I wanted to be active about it and get her into some sort of fire safety education. I started calling local fire departments, and was told that the mother would have to be cooperative.

When I brought it up to the mother, I was told "Whatever floats your boat, this is your trip, not mine" and was then told that she would not participate.
Those exact words will ring in my head forever.
She was the very definition of bad parenting.
 uniquelikeme
Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 68
Monster Children
Posted: 8/17/2012 10:59:20 PM
I've heard of quite a few parents that feel guilty for the situation that they have put their children in (such as divorce, abusive relationships, and/or having to relocate to a new environment) so they over compensate by letting the children get away with bad behavior. Unfortunately it is highly unlikely that that will change due to your concerns. Sometimes though, maybe they just need another parent who understands and can give them some advice.
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 70
Monster Children
Posted: 4/7/2013 9:12:09 PM
awww
she needs to get it together, once she does, the kids will follow suit
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 71
Monster Children
Posted: 4/9/2013 3:24:33 PM
you dont PUNISH children starlight, you discipline and correct them.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 72
Monster Children
Posted: 4/9/2013 7:01:37 PM
Conandoyle50- You have a good head on your shoulders. Count me in with the "you dodged a bullet" crowd.
You hit on one of my pet peeves with this one.
Why do people have children and then not bother to parent them?!
I was in CVS this week, there was a woman in line ahead of me with three kids, one was in the buggy (2-3 years old) screaming his head off, the other two were grabbing things off the shelf and beating each other with them, when the older two finally tired of whacking each other, the oldest one preceded to go to the automatic door and make it open and close repeatedly. Mom just stood there without a care in the world. I swear it took every ounce of self control I had not to slap her and say "wake up"!
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 73
Monster Children
Posted: 4/9/2013 10:12:40 PM
Glad you got out. You'd have been in a terrible position. Parenting her children is her responsibility first. Too much input from your end causes resentment from both her and the kids. Unfortunately there are many single parents who blame themselves for hardships they think they've caused from a broken relationship and overcompensate by giving their children everything they ask for or throw tantrums for. They put the discipline away and shut the door. And another batch of monsters are born.

Don't look back, and have no regrets. Your too old to be dealing with that shit anyway.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 74
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History
Monster Children
Posted: 4/20/2013 9:10:37 AM
I know this is an old thread, so advice for the OP is useless. I will give some anyway.

A child is born with a certain temperament and character. Their behaviour is learned. I have seen kids that are a handful, but with excellent parents, so their problems are mitigated to a large degree. I have also seen children who are monsters, and their parents have done nothing and are all out of ideas. This is the type of parent to avoid as a dating partner.

The kids are part of who they are. You can love her, and dislike the kids. This crumbles the relationship, unless it is kept as strictly casual. Our Op met the family early on, which was a blessing in the end. He was able to make an informed decision about a deal breaking issue. I think it is totally okay to break up with someone for their children's behaviour.
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