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 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 118
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

You guessed it, I'm going to say yes. Based on what? The fact that she's female. Hell, I'd accept if there was a possibility of it being a man. In that case, as soon as I found out it was a man I would say, sorry, I'm not gay, so this isn't going to work. But, anyway, I would want a date with someone based on absolutely nothing, just to give it a try and see what happens. So, actually, wanting a date is more of the default position than not wanting the date. Approaching the stranger is therefore merely an outward expression of the DEFAULT position of wanting to date as many women as possible, preferably ones that meet their standards. So, really, the women who should be offended, from this point of view, are all the ones I DON'T approach, solely based on looks. You have to give me reasons NOT to want to date you to scare me away, not the other way around. It doesn't work that way. Once I look at a girl, she might be ruled out based on looks, just because that's the only information I have when I first see her, so that's all there is. So, unless they are unattractive, I just want to date them by default. So, think of it as if it was her looks that made me want to date her is just looking at it from the wrong perspective altogether. The only role her looks played was to keep her in the pool of women that I want to date. She didn't get eliminated because of her looks. I already wanted the date before I even saw her. It's just that that desire didn't go away when I saw her.

That's a nice spiel however eliminating gals based on her attractiveness shows that the default position isn't to want to date and that meeting the looks standard is a preference. Essentially what you said is if they're attractive I want to date them which is wanting a piece of her based on nothing but her looks.


Wow. Imagine a woman having to endure such a torment as a guy asking her a QUESTION. Just based on her looks. Woo hoo. Man, I mean, it must really suck to be a hot girl. I feel so bad for them. Can you imagine?

Meh it's generally what the torment a gal has to endure after the question when the answer is no that it sucks to be a hot gal or really any gal as guys in my observations tend to be quite narcissistic thinking their unwanted uninvited attention should be oh so appreciated and that she should be grateful.
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 120
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/11/2014 5:39:47 PM
You can't just walk up and ask, you have to have a plan. Are you a football fan? Have you heard of the west coast offense, pass to set up the run? Same thing! You have to make a couple passes before you take a run at her, lol.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 121
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/12/2014 7:23:16 PM
^^^^^^
You can be very attractive to most women but still may not get great results when asking out a stranger
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 123
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/16/2014 12:24:45 PM
It would be obvious they were only interested in my physical appearance and not at all concerned about my personality and most women do not like to feel objectified like that.

And asking for directions and even a couple simple questions (like "you from around here? / what's a good place to go for X?") -- that's going to get him to know about your personality? No. He's still at the Exact Same level as if he didn't! He's just cutting to the chase.

Meeting up or talking on the phone After getting your # will open the doors of knowing your personality. And YES, it's all about looks to give it a Chance, just as you said:

If I think they're cute, I will flirtatiously respond and give them bait to pursue me, maybe banter back and forth a bit with them.

See? :) What guys are doing when they just come right up and ask ya out (in a decent way) are just cutting to the chase. Great 'game'/'strategy'? No. Should he ask a couple questions for better Strategy? Sure. Does it give him a read on your actual personality? No. Is it just a 'game' when he does That, and not cutting to the chase? Yes -- but people Do want 'game', oddly enough.

Male heads turn as if on a string when I walk by. One married Romeo constantly pressures me to hook up with him for casual sex, following me from room to room.

But there's a HUGE difference between a stranger coming up to you when you're both going in Different directions, and politely saying hello and explaining that he finds you really cute and seemingly a good woman, etc. -- and he's in a hurry but if there was any way he could keep in touch to chat sometime.

I'm still not saying that's great game -- but then again -- nothing would be in that scenario of strangers walking in different directions. So a guy should expect to be shot down a vast majority of the time if she's in or above his league -- and still shot down most of the time if he's likely to be pretty cute in her eyes. I would only recommend for guys who know how to take rejection Very Well, or need to Learn how to take rejection.

But it's definitely not weird/creepy like a guy at the gym following ya, pestering you to do it! :)
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 124
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/16/2014 2:06:21 PM
99% of the women I approached in the last 2 years claimed to have boyfriends.
and thats even after I got the number!
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 125
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/17/2014 11:48:00 AM
I heard this legend. There was a time, before the internet, where guys would see someone they're interested in, walk up to them, introduce themselves and have a conversation, and then even ask the girl out.

It actually still kind of works that way. You'd be amazed how many women will talk to you if you just talk to them, especially the ones that you think are really hot. While you're not talking to them because they're hot so you think they have a boyfriend and would never talk to you, so is every other guy. Actually, that girl that you described as gorgeous was probably more likely to actually talk to you than a girl you'd call average.

It's not creepy, but you have to have some finesse to it. Don't just walk up to someone and ask her out, try to talk to her first. It's always possible to find the time to just talk for even just 2-3 minutes just to get something started, then trade phone numbers and get back to what you were doing and talk later.

Just don't be creepy. If you're socially inept, I'd get some practice first. Start with girls you have no interest in ever dating and work your way up, so you can build a habit of normal conversation.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 126
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/17/2014 1:37:21 PM

There was a time, before the internet, where guys would see someone they're interested in, walk up to them, introduce themselves and have a conversation, and then even ask the girl out.

Before the Internet? Time did not exist then... I think God made the Internet on the 7th day when he was resting and wanted to watch funny cat videos...

It actually still kind of works that way. You'd be amazed how many women will talk to you if you just talk to them, especially the ones that you think are really hot. While you're not talking to them because they're hot so you think they have a boyfriend and would never talk to you, so is every other guy. Actually, that girl that you described as gorgeous was probably more likely to actually talk to you than a girl you'd call average.

I mostly agree with this, although I think it as a wee bit optimism put on it. Yes, you'll find a surprisingly higher # of gals bantering back with you comfortably than the fears most guys have would lead one to believe. But I don't think the hot girls are universally ignored while the average girls get more than their fair share thus more standoffish. I think there's plenty of hot girls who get hit on More than enough -- but that depends on the environment.

So in the case of on-the-street -- I would more agree with you, as there's a decent chance she's a hot girl who goes clubbing every weekend. And even in a club, it can still be more surprising that they'll chit chat -- depends on the timing & situation with it, too. And of course, as to how you come off.

If you're socially inept, I'd get some practice first. Start with girls you have no interest in ever dating and work your way up, so you can build a habit of normal conversation.

100% agree. People expect things to fall in their lap, or to automatically get hot chicks willing to talk with them by some magical one-liner, and don't want to go thru the learning process.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 127
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/17/2014 2:49:55 PM
I was actually gonna go to the mall today to try my luck with ladies but I made the mistake of looking up other forums around the internet about this subject. More than half of what I read says don't bother asking out a stranger. And don't ask out a stranger who is working. I read that alot of women are somehow offended that a guy would approach them just based on their looks "oh brother"
Then I read that most ladies don't feel comfortable giving out their number to a guy they only had a short conversation with.
Then I think back to all the profiles I've seen showing how picky some ladies are and how important Race is to alot of them.
I know you should always be confident and positive when you approach people but "why bother" is always in the back of my head. And as I said before 99% of the women I approached in the last 2 years claimed to have boyfriends.
and thats even after I got the number!
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 128
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/17/2014 5:09:25 PM
GJBrown, forums like these are a risky place to get advice. Nobody wants to admit that they can be part of that crowd, but we're the pathetic people who needed the internet's help to meet someone. Millions, actually billions of people do perfectly fine without ever touching a dating site. We're not exactly society's best. We're a group made up of people who don't know how to get a date, people that nobody has any interest in at all, people with standards that are impossible to fill, people who's lives are so hectic that dating is almost impossible... Just think, maybe a lot of those women don't have a boyfriend simply because to them, there's rarely a right time to ever ask them out.

And all those girls that suddenly have a boyfriend... Welcome to dating. A lot of them like to use that line because they don't have to explain anything, ever. I'd guess at least half of them just lack the balls to actually turn you down.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 129
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/17/2014 5:24:30 PM

I was actually gonna go to the mall today to try my luck with ladies but I made the mistake of looking up other forums around the internet about this subject. More than half of what I read says don't bother asking out a stranger. And don't ask out a stranger who is working. I read that alot of women are somehow offended that a guy would approach them just based on their looks "oh brother"
Then I read that most ladies don't feel comfortable giving out their number to a guy they only had a short conversation with.
Then I think back to all the profiles I've seen showing how picky some ladies are and how important Race is to alot of them.
I know you should always be confident and positive when you approach people but "why bother" is always in the back of my head. And as I said before 99% of the women I approached in the last 2 years claimed to have boyfriends.
and thats even after I got the number!


Instead of thinking about going to the mall to talk to women, you should go to the mall and talk to women. Other people that are bad at dating might tell you not to go out socializing with a woman by your side because people will think she's your girlfriend, but it's one of the best things you can do. I did a crazy amount of socializing and meeting new people when I went on road trips with a female friend across the border. Read more about day game and keep doing it. Get to know everyone, everywhere you go. It helps when you know the waiters, the cashiers, the employees, etc. I was always chatting with this older woman that sold food at the university and she would joke around with girls and tell them go on a date with me. Girls are telling you that have a boyfriend because they don't feel enough attraction or you're coming on too strong before they feel comfortable.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 130
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/18/2014 12:48:04 PM
No kidding. And you'd expect a guy to ask her out based upon how she handles her 401k? What charities she's involved with? How she treats stray animals? You act like being attracted to someone is a crime against humanity. Tell me, if you see someone across a crowded room and want to get closer, is it because of his stunning personality, or his well hung intelligence? Because you know, those things are easy to see from a glance from far away. Newsflash: being physically attracted to someone is not something that is horrifying.

Do tell how am I acting like being attracted to someone is a crime against humanity? Show me where I stated, suggested, implied, or made a point that I expected a guy to ask her out based on something else besides her looks or that being physically attracted to someone is something that is horrifying...oh that's right you can't because I didn't.

I did state that a random guy approaching another random gal is asking her based on nothing but her looks in regards to someone arguing otherwise.

Seems like you're butthurt and projecting your issues and insecurity onto my post.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 132
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/18/2014 7:57:30 PM

Why in God's name would I be butthurt? That doesn't even make sense.

I already answered that question. Your illogical seemingly emotional defensiveness to my post to another user suggests you're butthurt. Nowhere did I state, suggested, implied, or made a point that being attracted to someone is a crime against humanity, that I expected a guy to ask her out based on something else besides her looks or that being physically attracted to someone is something that is horrifying...yet that's what you lept to.



I was responding to this from you:
"Essentially what you said is if they're attractive I want to date them which is wanting a piece of her based on nothing but her looks."

Which I thought was a strange statement considering the topic at hand was asking a random woman out that you saw on the street. No kidding it would be based on looks at that point - but hopefully it develop into something more as you got to know each other (or fade into nothingness if there wasn't enough there).

The full statement was: "That's a nice spiel however eliminating gals based on her attractiveness shows that the default position isn't to want to date and that meeting the looks standard is a preference. Essentially what you said is if they're attractive I want to date them which is wanting a piece of her based on nothing but her looks."

It's not a strange statement considering it was a response to another user that I even quoted in my response who was twisting and spinning basically saying a random guy isn't approaching a random gal based on nothing but her looks because "unless they are unattractive, I just want to date them by default."...which is basically saying if they're attractive I want to date them showing the default position isn't I want to date them so he is approaching based on nothing but her looks.


But I am genuinely curious as to how you think I'm being insecure here - because I'm not seeing it with what I wrote.

Completely understandable that you're not seeing it considering how you seemingly saw it fit to put that I was acting like being attracted to someone is something horrifying and like a crime to humanity yet still can't provide an answer as to where I stated, suggested, implied, or did such.

So you don't see insecurity in projecting nonsensical irrelevancy into others posts that weren't even directed to you. That you went to that I'm acting like being attracted to someone is like a crime to humanity seems that you perceived an attack in me stating he wants her based on nothing but her looks and was reacting defensively.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 134
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/18/2014 8:48:27 PM
I'm done. But if you want to continue telling me what I meant, I wish you joy of it. Have a good evening.

LMFAO @ being done when called on your bs. I stated how you seem to feel, butthurt, not what you meant you're the only one telling someone what they meant recall:

"You act like being attracted to someone is a crime against humanity. "

"Newsflash: being physically attracted to someone is not something that is horrifying."
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 135
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/27/2014 6:16:23 PM
Went to Mall today. Met 9 different ladies. They all claimed to have boyfriends.
Where is a young guy like me going to meet single women. If not co worker, former classmate, or neighbors.
I guess I'm just surposed to go to a bar or club cause just trying your luck with random women on the street or Mall or grocery store is a very tedious process with and the odds are very against you.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 136
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/28/2014 9:02:02 AM
You're probably not going to meet any real dating material hanging out at the mall, unless you have money.

You have to figure out what kind of girl you're looking for, and go to the paves that she'd actually be at.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 137
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/29/2014 11:25:36 PM
I find it ironic that most of the women on here give the advice of "go out and meet women" , yet claim they back off when you do try to approach. It makes sense, guess I wouldn't want a guy bursting into my personal space bubble constantly either.
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 138
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/30/2014 4:05:37 PM

I was on my Motor Bike today and saw a drop dead gorgeous woman walking down the street. I was so tempted to stop the bike, take off the helmit and ask the girl/offer the girl my number and tell her how stunning she was (Guess what I bottled it and just rode by) So ladys how would this be taken, Maybe creepy?


Just wondering dan…. do you feel like the same as the character as Jim Carrey in the movie as, "Dumb & Dumber ? ^^^^

And if thats the case your are on to something for sure….. ^^^^^
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 140
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 3:24:18 AM

In today's world there feminism is extremely aggressive and full of misandry, I would think ten times before approaching a woman. I don't want to be labelled as a maniac, stalker and other beautiful epithets. In this part of the world it is not feasible and acceptable to do so, they always wear their scowl as a form of protection and ready to place the label "creep" on a man as soon as this poor soul dares to look into her eye, hell will break loose. Women are basically unapproachable unless of course one is tall, dark and handsome, not my case so I stay in my well-secured shell.


This is a well written piece of satire that demonstrates what kind of attitude you want to avoid if you want success in dating.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 141
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 5:20:18 AM

I find it ironic that most of the women on here give the advice of "go out and meet women" , yet claim they back off when you do try to approach. It makes sense, guess I wouldn't want a guy bursting into my personal space bubble constantly either.

There's a difference between approaching women to get phone numbers/ask them out and being a social person who will talk to anyone and engages women in conversation while they are out living their lives that doesn't make them feel like they have to put up a wall - and doesn't care what the outcome is. The men who know the difference and can master the second one will reap the benefits despite not being concerned if they do.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 142
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 9:42:52 AM


There's a difference between approaching women to get phone numbers/ask them out and being a social person who will talk to anyone and engages women in conversation while they are out living their lives that doesn't make them feel like they have to put up a wall - and doesn't care what the outcome is. The men who know the difference and can master the second one will reap the benefits despite not being concerned if they do.


Then you come off as being friendly and get friendzone'd. At least with the asking for numbers the intentions are clear.
 blueprint770
Joined: 1/27/2014
Msg: 143
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 11:05:40 AM
There's nothing wrong with asking females out in public
Just make sure you do it with confidence.

Also Learn how to read body language and small signs
To decide if she is receptive or not
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 144
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 11:52:20 AM
This is a well written piece of satire that demonstrates what kind of attitude you want to avoid if you want success in dating.


Actually, I'd say it's a well written summary of what's actually told to men on here by women.

Go up and approach women, but not at work, the gym, the bar, the store, you get the point. Some even went as far as to say don't approach them unless they're showing signs that they want you to.

If you're a fat guy that plays video games all day, I lost count of how many times they were told never to go for the girl that goes to the gym every day.

So where does the average guy fit in? After a few years on these forums, I think he's wrong about women, but dead-on about women on pof.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 145
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 12:05:09 PM

Then you come off as being friendly and get friendzone'd. At least with the asking for numbers the intentions are clear.

Where did you get this information exactly?

Truth is, men who women aren't attracted to are friend zoned. Men who make conversation with no vibe of trying to get a number or a date won't trip defense in a woman - and if she likes him after a minute or two she'll want to be asked out (if available).

Men who cold approach women tend to cause women to put up a wall where they have no idea if they'd like the guy because they have to be on the defensive.

Go up and approach women, but not at work, the gym, the bar, the store, you get the point. Some even went as far as to say don't approach them unless they're showing signs that they want you to.

If you're a fat guy that plays video games all day, I lost count of how many times they were told never to go for the girl that goes to the gym every day.

So where does the average guy fit in? After a few years on these forums, I think he's wrong about women, but dead-on about women on pof.

The trick is to know when and how to approach, how to be friendly without coming off as trying to close a sale, how to determine interest and proceed in that direction, or how to determine lack of interest and move on gracefully all while not caring which way it goes. Yeah it's complicated but it can be done, men do it all the time - if you'd rather someone just tell you they are interested that's fine too - but you'll be getting a lot less action. Your choice. Of course the best way to avoid rejection is just to never talk to anyone. That does work beautifully if you're OK with it - there will be zero rejection.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 146
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 1:46:10 PM

Actually, I'd say it's a well written summary of what's actually told to men on here by women.

Go up and approach women, but not at work, the gym, the bar, the store, you get the point. Some even went as far as to say don't approach them unless they're showing signs that they want you to.

If you're a fat guy that plays video games all day, I lost count of how many times they were told never to go for the girl that goes to the gym every day.

So where does the average guy fit in? After a few years on these forums, I think he's wrong about women, but dead-on about women on pof.


You have to see it for what it is. If you randomly go up to a stranger and ask for their phone number, it's a gamble. You don't know if they're a nice person, or if they're having a good day. There are some women on pof that like the attention of getting a lot of emails and act like snobs in person, but there are some women on pof that are very nice and laid back too. A fat guy that plays video games probably isn't going to appeal to an athletic girl the same way that an obese woman wouldn't appeal to an athletic guy. The best thing you can do is be friendly to everyone at the places that you go. For some reason, evey time I go to the SuperStore, random people talk to me. Some guy started telling me about his father that died in world war two and another guy talked to be about nutrition and invited me to the college to hear a guest speaker. That may seem pointless, but at least it gets you in the mood to talk and make conversation and it makes it easier to talk to women after you've warmed up and you're feeling more alert.
 GJallDay
Joined: 1/28/2014
Msg: 147
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 6:44:00 PM
people on here keep saying talk as if you don't care about getting there number and that will somehow help you get the number. Seems like BS but it is possible. But then when you look at the SimplePickup guys on youtube and they get numbers with little to no effort. either way approaching women is tough. most wont even make direct eye contact with you unless you beg for their attention
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