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 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 132
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Why in God's name would I be butthurt? That doesn't even make sense.

I already answered that question. Your illogical seemingly emotional defensiveness to my post to another user suggests you're butthurt. Nowhere did I state, suggested, implied, or made a point that being attracted to someone is a crime against humanity, that I expected a guy to ask her out based on something else besides her looks or that being physically attracted to someone is something that is horrifying...yet that's what you lept to.



I was responding to this from you:
"Essentially what you said is if they're attractive I want to date them which is wanting a piece of her based on nothing but her looks."

Which I thought was a strange statement considering the topic at hand was asking a random woman out that you saw on the street. No kidding it would be based on looks at that point - but hopefully it develop into something more as you got to know each other (or fade into nothingness if there wasn't enough there).

The full statement was: "That's a nice spiel however eliminating gals based on her attractiveness shows that the default position isn't to want to date and that meeting the looks standard is a preference. Essentially what you said is if they're attractive I want to date them which is wanting a piece of her based on nothing but her looks."

It's not a strange statement considering it was a response to another user that I even quoted in my response who was twisting and spinning basically saying a random guy isn't approaching a random gal based on nothing but her looks because "unless they are unattractive, I just want to date them by default."...which is basically saying if they're attractive I want to date them showing the default position isn't I want to date them so he is approaching based on nothing but her looks.


But I am genuinely curious as to how you think I'm being insecure here - because I'm not seeing it with what I wrote.

Completely understandable that you're not seeing it considering how you seemingly saw it fit to put that I was acting like being attracted to someone is something horrifying and like a crime to humanity yet still can't provide an answer as to where I stated, suggested, implied, or did such.

So you don't see insecurity in projecting nonsensical irrelevancy into others posts that weren't even directed to you. That you went to that I'm acting like being attracted to someone is like a crime to humanity seems that you perceived an attack in me stating he wants her based on nothing but her looks and was reacting defensively.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 134
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/18/2014 8:48:27 PM
I'm done. But if you want to continue telling me what I meant, I wish you joy of it. Have a good evening.

LMFAO @ being done when called on your bs. I stated how you seem to feel, butthurt, not what you meant you're the only one telling someone what they meant recall:

"You act like being attracted to someone is a crime against humanity. "

"Newsflash: being physically attracted to someone is not something that is horrifying."
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 135
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/27/2014 6:16:23 PM
Went to Mall today. Met 9 different ladies. They all claimed to have boyfriends.
Where is a young guy like me going to meet single women. If not co worker, former classmate, or neighbors.
I guess I'm just surposed to go to a bar or club cause just trying your luck with random women on the street or Mall or grocery store is a very tedious process with and the odds are very against you.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 136
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/28/2014 9:02:02 AM
You're probably not going to meet any real dating material hanging out at the mall, unless you have money.

You have to figure out what kind of girl you're looking for, and go to the paves that she'd actually be at.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 137
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/29/2014 11:25:36 PM
I find it ironic that most of the women on here give the advice of "go out and meet women" , yet claim they back off when you do try to approach. It makes sense, guess I wouldn't want a guy bursting into my personal space bubble constantly either.
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 138
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/30/2014 4:05:37 PM

I was on my Motor Bike today and saw a drop dead gorgeous woman walking down the street. I was so tempted to stop the bike, take off the helmit and ask the girl/offer the girl my number and tell her how stunning she was (Guess what I bottled it and just rode by) So ladys how would this be taken, Maybe creepy?


Just wondering dan…. do you feel like the same as the character as Jim Carrey in the movie as, "Dumb & Dumber ? ^^^^

And if thats the case your are on to something for sure….. ^^^^^
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 140
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 3:24:18 AM

In today's world there feminism is extremely aggressive and full of misandry, I would think ten times before approaching a woman. I don't want to be labelled as a maniac, stalker and other beautiful epithets. In this part of the world it is not feasible and acceptable to do so, they always wear their scowl as a form of protection and ready to place the label "creep" on a man as soon as this poor soul dares to look into her eye, hell will break loose. Women are basically unapproachable unless of course one is tall, dark and handsome, not my case so I stay in my well-secured shell.


This is a well written piece of satire that demonstrates what kind of attitude you want to avoid if you want success in dating.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 141
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 5:20:18 AM

I find it ironic that most of the women on here give the advice of "go out and meet women" , yet claim they back off when you do try to approach. It makes sense, guess I wouldn't want a guy bursting into my personal space bubble constantly either.

There's a difference between approaching women to get phone numbers/ask them out and being a social person who will talk to anyone and engages women in conversation while they are out living their lives that doesn't make them feel like they have to put up a wall - and doesn't care what the outcome is. The men who know the difference and can master the second one will reap the benefits despite not being concerned if they do.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 142
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 9:42:52 AM


There's a difference between approaching women to get phone numbers/ask them out and being a social person who will talk to anyone and engages women in conversation while they are out living their lives that doesn't make them feel like they have to put up a wall - and doesn't care what the outcome is. The men who know the difference and can master the second one will reap the benefits despite not being concerned if they do.


Then you come off as being friendly and get friendzone'd. At least with the asking for numbers the intentions are clear.
 blueprint770
Joined: 1/27/2014
Msg: 143
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 11:05:40 AM
There's nothing wrong with asking females out in public
Just make sure you do it with confidence.

Also Learn how to read body language and small signs
To decide if she is receptive or not
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 144
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 11:52:20 AM
This is a well written piece of satire that demonstrates what kind of attitude you want to avoid if you want success in dating.


Actually, I'd say it's a well written summary of what's actually told to men on here by women.

Go up and approach women, but not at work, the gym, the bar, the store, you get the point. Some even went as far as to say don't approach them unless they're showing signs that they want you to.

If you're a fat guy that plays video games all day, I lost count of how many times they were told never to go for the girl that goes to the gym every day.

So where does the average guy fit in? After a few years on these forums, I think he's wrong about women, but dead-on about women on pof.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 145
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 12:05:09 PM

Then you come off as being friendly and get friendzone'd. At least with the asking for numbers the intentions are clear.

Where did you get this information exactly?

Truth is, men who women aren't attracted to are friend zoned. Men who make conversation with no vibe of trying to get a number or a date won't trip defense in a woman - and if she likes him after a minute or two she'll want to be asked out (if available).

Men who cold approach women tend to cause women to put up a wall where they have no idea if they'd like the guy because they have to be on the defensive.

Go up and approach women, but not at work, the gym, the bar, the store, you get the point. Some even went as far as to say don't approach them unless they're showing signs that they want you to.

If you're a fat guy that plays video games all day, I lost count of how many times they were told never to go for the girl that goes to the gym every day.

So where does the average guy fit in? After a few years on these forums, I think he's wrong about women, but dead-on about women on pof.

The trick is to know when and how to approach, how to be friendly without coming off as trying to close a sale, how to determine interest and proceed in that direction, or how to determine lack of interest and move on gracefully all while not caring which way it goes. Yeah it's complicated but it can be done, men do it all the time - if you'd rather someone just tell you they are interested that's fine too - but you'll be getting a lot less action. Your choice. Of course the best way to avoid rejection is just to never talk to anyone. That does work beautifully if you're OK with it - there will be zero rejection.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 146
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 1:46:10 PM

Actually, I'd say it's a well written summary of what's actually told to men on here by women.

Go up and approach women, but not at work, the gym, the bar, the store, you get the point. Some even went as far as to say don't approach them unless they're showing signs that they want you to.

If you're a fat guy that plays video games all day, I lost count of how many times they were told never to go for the girl that goes to the gym every day.

So where does the average guy fit in? After a few years on these forums, I think he's wrong about women, but dead-on about women on pof.


You have to see it for what it is. If you randomly go up to a stranger and ask for their phone number, it's a gamble. You don't know if they're a nice person, or if they're having a good day. There are some women on pof that like the attention of getting a lot of emails and act like snobs in person, but there are some women on pof that are very nice and laid back too. A fat guy that plays video games probably isn't going to appeal to an athletic girl the same way that an obese woman wouldn't appeal to an athletic guy. The best thing you can do is be friendly to everyone at the places that you go. For some reason, evey time I go to the SuperStore, random people talk to me. Some guy started telling me about his father that died in world war two and another guy talked to be about nutrition and invited me to the college to hear a guest speaker. That may seem pointless, but at least it gets you in the mood to talk and make conversation and it makes it easier to talk to women after you've warmed up and you're feeling more alert.
 GJallDay
Joined: 1/28/2014
Msg: 147
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 1/31/2014 6:44:00 PM
people on here keep saying talk as if you don't care about getting there number and that will somehow help you get the number. Seems like BS but it is possible. But then when you look at the SimplePickup guys on youtube and they get numbers with little to no effort. either way approaching women is tough. most wont even make direct eye contact with you unless you beg for their attention
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 148
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/1/2014 7:45:23 AM

people on here keep saying talk as if you don't care about getting there number and that will somehow help you get the number.

Not me, I'm saying talk to people because you have an interest in other people without caring what comes of it. I'm not saying act like you don't care - I'm saying stop caring so much whether not all interactions turn into dates.

Seems like BS but it is possible.

It is possible.

But then when you look at the SimplePickup guys on youtube and they get numbers with little to no effort. either way approaching women is tough. most wont even make direct eye contact with you unless you beg for their attention

Stop trying. Just be social, outgoing and interested in people around you. All that other stuff generally follows naturally...but if you don't care it won't matter.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 149
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/1/2014 8:45:51 AM

I'm saying stop caring so much whether not all interactions turn into dates.


^^^Couldn't agree more.

There is something to be gained by just having an ease about you. I'm attracted to men and women who have that about them. I think when you look at each interaction as something that will possibly result in a date, there is very likely to be a palpable sub-current of nervousness that will translate as something less than attractive to some women.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 150
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/1/2014 6:27:42 PM

people on here keep saying talk as if you don't care about getting there number and that will somehow help you get the number. Seems like BS but it is possible. But then when you look at the SimplePickup guys on youtube and they get numbers with little to no effort. either way approaching women is tough. most wont even make direct eye contact with you unless you beg for their attention


Of course it's possible. It can be more difficult if you're not naturally a really social person, but anything can be learned with effort. I'd work more on your social circle than just doing cold approaches all the time.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 151
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/9/2014 5:54:40 PM

people on here keep saying talk as if you don't care about getting there number and that will somehow help you get the number. Seems like BS but it is possible. But then when you look at the SimplePickup guys on youtube and they get numbers with little to no effort. either way approaching women is tough. most wont even make direct eye contact with you unless you beg for their attention


You don't want to act like you don't care, but don't act like it's the entire point of talking to them. Anyone worth dating is going to like YOU, not how you ended up with their phone number. Forget about all of that and just talk to them like you would any other person. When they realize they want to talk to you again, then you'll get the number easy.
 GJallDay
Joined: 1/28/2014
Msg: 152
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/9/2014 6:14:57 PM
^^^^ Mister you just said a whole lot of Nothing.
but I guess I get it. Not really. you can get the number easy, If the woman is attracted and single and your approach excited her enough to want to know more about you. Asking out strangers is a Paradox! Its both easy and Hard. Can raise and lower confidence.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 153
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/10/2014 10:38:40 AM

^^^^ Mister you just said a whole lot of Nothing.
but I guess I get it. Not really. you can get the number easy, If the woman is attracted and single and your approach excited her enough to want to know more about you. Asking out strangers is a Paradox! Its both easy and Hard. Can raise and lower confidence.

Which means you still care too much one way or the other. Figure out how to understand that it isn't that big a deal. You're talking about strangers here, not people who really have any effect on you unless you allow them to. When you don't care either way, it will change everything. Not only will women not be avoiding the vibe you're putting out of the conversation having an end goal, but it won't matter to you if they do.

You can't control the situation - essentially that's what you want to do. It won't happen. Learn to let go of the need to get something from it.

Again, some innately know this, and some just never get it.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 154
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/10/2014 12:19:06 PM

^^^^ Mister you just said a whole lot of Nothing.
but I guess I get it. Not really. you can get the number easy, If the woman is attracted and single and your approach excited her enough to want to know more about you. Asking out strangers is a Paradox! Its both easy and Hard. Can raise and lower confidence.


Approaching people randomly isn't the easiest way to get a date, but it can definitely be done. Try talking to other people, not just hot girls. I talk to the people at the grocery store and some guy told me his father was shot near the heart in world war 2 and it turned out he was part of the same army as my grandfather. Some other guy started talking to me about health food and lectures at the college. I guess I look open and willing to talk to people instad of standing in line looking scared and staring at my phone. After you talk to some everyday people like that, you'll be more warmed up and in the right mood to talk to the women you like. Don't just go in cold. That's like an olympic athlete not warming up before they try to get a gold medal in snowboarding.


Most women are likely to hate the idea of randomly being approached and asked. Very rarely do they go for it and most of the time those women that actually do go for it are probably just as longing for only one thing as the guy probably is.
Vast majority of the time, you'll just get a bad reaction and bye bye goes everything.


The problem is that you're giving the woman more status than yourself and believing that her accepting or rejecting you will make you happy or upset. You have to be unaffected. Let her feed off of your good mood instead of making her responsible for how you feel. If you frame it that way, you'll be free from the outcome. Usually the "bad reactions" only happen when you have no social intelligence and you can't tell when she wants you to leave so she gets annoyed.
 canoga77
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 155
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/15/2014 1:16:35 PM
Ask out random females? Why even bother? So they can sneer at us and then come to forums like this complaining about how they get too much attention? Let them ask out us. Men need to stop feeding female egos by always making the first move.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 156
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/15/2014 4:16:07 PM

They should be more grateful that we plucked up the courage to ask them out rather than brush us aside as if we're nothing.

Oh, you charmer you. The women must be lining up to be in the presence of someone with this outlook.

Hell that goes for online messaging as well - too much to ask to get a simple message back saying "sorry you're not what I'm looking for"?

It's too much to expect a man to be grateful for getting a message like that. Instead men choose to retaliate or otherwise not gracefully accept the message. If more men would either read a no thanks and find the information helpful so they know they can move on, perhaps women would find purpose in responding. A majority of men asking what they can change to have a better show, sending back insults, or ignoring the no thanks and persisting are not desirable responses.

Apparently it is, they'd rather push the Ignore button and wait for a proper 6 foot male model with abs to come along.

You don't have any idea what women are looking for, it's possible to conclude it's not you - but I doubt that's more than a negative projection. If you're trying to throw a dig about women wanting to be attracted to someone they date, first look at yourself - are you attracted to every woman you see?

Ask out random females? Why even bother? So they can sneer at us and then come to forums like this complaining about how they get too much attention? Let them ask out us. Men need to stop feeding female egos by always making the first move.

There you go. All men sick of having to do anything can just stop doing anything. No one's forcing you to ask women out...waiting for them to ask you out instead may be a better deal.

So they can sneer at us and then come to forums like this complaining about how they get too much attention? Let them ask out us.

You sure you even like women? This might be a wash for you - not sure why you'd date any if you feel they all do this.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 157
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Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/15/2014 4:34:14 PM

They should be more grateful that we plucked up the courage to ask them out rather than brush us aside as if we're nothing. Hell that goes for online messaging as well - too much to ask to get a simple message back saying "sorry you're not what I'm looking for"? Apparently it is, they'd rather push the Ignore button and wait for a proper 6 foot male model with abs to come along.


Lets think about this logically for a minute. If you're a good looking woman that gets lots of attention and lots of emails. Are you really going to bother replying to a hundred emails from people you're not interested in? What's the point when those guys have already emailed other people. Saying "no thanks" at that point is already pointless. The guy can infer that from not receiving a reply. I doubt every business calls every person that drops off a resume and says: "Sorry, we're not interested. Thanks for stopping by." As a guy using this website or others, I didn't respond to every email I got. Sometimes I just wanted to watch a video of a seagull stealing a bag of chips on YouTube after work while someone wanted to chat with me and I wouldn't answer.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 160
Asking a Female Stranger Out. (Randomly)
Posted: 2/17/2014 7:52:23 AM

True story. Same girl will complain to her friends that she can't find a decent guy. It's in the rulebook.

My complaint is that I meet plenty of decent guys - but very few I ever want to see naked. True story.
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