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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?      Home login  
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 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 26
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Tgrlily, you're not old. :)

Who wants to date a guy who uses techniques to get a woman?
Who wants to date a guy who doesn’t believe women could have anything meaningful to contribute whether it’s in the forums or else where?
Who wants to date a guy who thinks women say things without meaning it?
Not me.

Do I date every single man who is interested in me? Of course not.
From the men I am interested in, do I date the one who ignores me or the one who is confident and courageous enough to be sincere and honest? I think the answer is clear but in the end, it’s none of my business what people choose to believe. I’m sure they do it for their own reasons. As long as it works for them who am I to say what they should think.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 27
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/10/2012 6:35:30 PM
i find it hilarious that women would call all of this a game and frown on it. we ALL play games. those who deny it are usually the biggest players. the reason you want men to be open and honest about everything is because it puts the ladies at an advantage since you will not return the favor. truth is, total honesty works far less than youd all like us to believe.

abelian: good post man. the girl i got with doing this was fun, but not a keeper. she had me hooked for a good, fun 4 years though lol. still, this sort of thing CAN definitely work if you wanna have a chance at a hottie you see out. nothing is fool proof of course.
 babyfiireflii
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 28
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/10/2012 6:36:46 PM
damn, i can say ive never dated a man that ignored me, **** that. i like attention.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 29
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/10/2012 8:20:01 PM


i find it hilarious that women would call all of this a game and frown on it. we ALL play games. those who deny it are usually the biggest players. the reason you want men to be open and honest about everything is because it puts the ladies at an advantage since you will not return the favor. truth is, total honesty works far less than you'd all like us to believe.


Absolutely spot on. Women give the worst dating advice for men. Women don't want/don't like men understanding how to pass their D-bag filters. I think the reason women frown on this kind of advice above is because they fell for a man like this in their past and ending up getting hurt by him instead of him being hurt and discarded by her.

I love my Mom. But I remember the girl advice she gave me as a youngster. Come to find out many years later how wrong she was. She used to tell me how much women like to be complimented and told they're beautiful. They sure do. But even my own mother left out the most important lesson of all. What a woman likes and what generates attraction in a women are very seldom the same. Her advice failed me miserably as young teen. I know many women that give their sons the same bad advice. So if many if not most women will give bad advice to their own sons, don't believe a word of any advice women will give you as strangers.

So now, women are reading about this stuff and trying to update and upgrade their D-bag filters and having trouble doing so.

Their biggest complaint now is that men are not being genuine, honest, or not being themselves. Fine, maybe there is some truth to that. So then practice the correct advice enough till it becomes second nature and you no longer have to think about what you're doing. Once you reach that level, you have become that new man. Just like a black belt martial artist instinctively reacts correctly to a surprise attack.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 30
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/10/2012 8:41:37 PM

i find it hilarious that women would call all of this a game and frown on it. we ALL play games.

I find it hilarious that common sense is so difficult to understand. Even though not all of us do, let’s assume “we all play games.” Are you saying since everybody plays games we are not entitled to say the obvious? Why not? If you really believe everyone plays games you still have a choice not to participate unless you want a relationship build on games. Good luck with that. “Frown on it?” Did you really expect women to to cheer and jump up & down?


those who deny it are usually the biggest players. the reason you want men to be open and honest about everything is because it puts the ladies at an advantage since you will not return the favor.

Are you calling people who disagree with you a liar? And since when is honesty a favor? OMG I won’t get into the “advantage” theory. If you don’t feel you can be honest with a woman because she isn’t either don’t date her. The only person you need to be honest is with yourself.


truth is, total honesty works far less than youd all like us to believe.

That depends on what your objective is. Truth does not always get you what you want. Do you always have to have what you want, even if it means getting involved with someone who plays childish chase games or by tricking someone into liking you? If this is your understanding of a relationship you are truly missing out on being liked for who you are. Self confidence comes a long way, my friend. I personally don’t need anyone to believe anything.
 TheAlaskanRose
Joined: 11/23/2010
Msg: 31
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/10/2012 10:16:42 PM

Then why is it so many women play passive aggressive psychological games in an attempt to get what they want if they feel that playing childish games gets you no where. Actions speak louder than words.


Hey there Dino!
Perhaps the women saying "no" to mind games are not the same women of whom you speak as being passive-aggressive, etc. In the case of those (women or men) engaging in head games, they could reap what they have sown. Someone who is not interested in such machinations will get a taste of that nonsense and move on, leaving the childish psychological games for those who thrive on it. Cheers!
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 32
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/10/2012 10:50:48 PM
happysinglespirit: im 33 years old and i have yet to meet ANYONE that didnt play some sort of game when it comes to dating.

as for common sense, i dont see how that is even relevant. however, i DO understand common sense, even if i dont think it exists. what is common sense to one person, is not common sense to another. its all based on our own personal experiences. but, i digress. back on topic.

you said these things...

who wants to date a guy that uses a technique to get a woman?
who wants to date a guy that thinks women say things without meaning it?
not me.

thats the gist of it. if thats true, you should think about reality a little. reality is, most women dont mean what they say. ANY man can back this up. you ask a woman if anything is wrong, and she will say "no, im fine" that means something is wrong. when asking a woman what she wants for dinner i usually hear "oh, anything is fine" then once you pick a place she will say that she didnt really want (insert whatever i decided on here)

why do you think there are so many upset "nice guys" on this forum? theyre reading what women SAY they want, and trying to be that guy for them. when it doesnt work, they get confused. the reality of this place is, PICTURES are what gets dates for a guy. being a nice guy, a real guy, with a great sense of humor, gets a man NOWHERE. again, im sure that many men would back me up on this too. that is the game that many women on here play. one of many im afraid. just as us men play our own games as well. truth is, most men have found that using games and "techniques" to get a woman is far easier than being honest. women dont want honesty, they want mr right, and he doesnt exist.
 babyfiireflii
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 33
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/10/2012 10:54:42 PM
well op you try it out and let us know if the girl of your dreams falls in love with you because of it
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 34
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 9:11:59 AM
Alaskan you are starting to look like a regular here now... welcome aboard....

Are you trying to tell me there are three types of women. Those that do not play games, those that play games and those that play games but think that they do not play games... sadly I have as yet only had relationships/dates with the latter two types from my perspective.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 35
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 9:45:38 AM


Who wants to date a guy who uses techniques to get a woman?
Who wants to date a guy who doesn’t believe women could have anything meaningful to contribute whether it’s in the forums or else where?
Who wants to date a guy who thinks women say things without meaning it?
Not me.

Do I date every single man who is interested in me? Of course not.
From the men I am interested in, do I date the one who ignores me or the one who is confident and courageous enough to be sincere and honest? I think the answer is clear but in the end, it’s none of my business what people choose to believe. I’m sure they do it for their own reasons. As long as it works for them who am I to say what they should think.


HappySingleSpirit,

Somewhere along the line, I would almost guarantee there was at least one man in your dating past that you really liked, maybe even fell in love with, that played cool but really wasn't. So the answer to your questions is, you do. You just didn't know he was practicing on you. Proof positive that a little dishonest emotional silence is golden when it comes to the dating scene. Had he spilled his genuine emotional guts to you about how much he loved you, needed you, etc., your relationship would have come to an end. Had he been completely honest with you by telling you he liked you so much that he thought he needed to use some dating advice on you that he learned on the Internet to keep you interested, you would have canned him right there on the spot.
 mjk3937
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 36
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 11:21:36 AM
I think when women in this forum talk about how they'd like to be treated by men, they're usually talking about how they'd like to be treated by men they're already attracted to and invested in. Is that a fair observation? The guys here are talking more about how to generate the initial interest and maintain it until a woman has bought in. I think the best thing to do is to respond to the emotional cues the other person is giving you and cultivate a mindset where you aren't interested in putting a ton of energy into pursuing someone who hasn't yet shown a high level of interest in you. There's nothing dishonest about that.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 37
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 11:33:17 AM


I think when women in this forum talk about how they'd like to be treated by men, they're usually talking about how they'd like to be treated by men they're already attracted to and invested in. Is that a fair observation? The guys here are talking more about how to generate the initial interest and maintain it until a woman has bought in. I think the best thing to do is to respond to the emotional cues the other person is giving you and cultivate a mindset where you aren't interested in putting a ton of energy into pursuing someone who hasn't yet shown a high level of interest in you. There's nothing dishonest about that.


MJK,

I think that is a fair assessment. Good reply.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 38
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 1:20:12 PM
It doesn't matter what game you play in the beginning if a girl isn't interested in you. I have never started liking a guy that ignored me or played some type of game.
Actually, I don't think I'd even realize a guy was ignoring me, because if I wasn't interested I wouldn't miss him or realize he was ignoring me...
If a guy I did like ignored me, that would be a turn off and I'd move on.

I think any girl that starts liking a guy that ignores her is really messed up and insecure. If that's the type you're looking for then I guess it works!
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 39
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 2:11:26 PM
Women are conditioned by society to not be direct. This is why men are often the ones asking women out on dates. So, when women are used to men being the aggressive pursuers and see a guy that isn't aggressively pursuing them they wonder.

Yes it works, and many women will not admit it, because they don't want to validate that these techniques do work. And yes dating requires techniques, and lots of practice especially asking out total strangers out in public.

The line between coming off sincere, genuine, or creepy and boring is very fine. It takes a lot of practice, or trial and error.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 40
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 2:30:05 PM
^^^It's true that men that don't pursue can give enough distance for a woman to be interested should they find him attractive, because most of the time that woman is just reacting and on the defensive and never pays much attention to who he is and what he's like.

To some degree for men she's not attracted to, not pursuing her may cause curiosity, but that's not even close to actual interest. For a man who she isn't attracted to, his interaction or lack of it won't create interest, whether it's similar to the last 10 guys or totally different. In the end, she'll still not be attracted.

It may cause her to think he's also not attracted to her which can make her more relaxed and cause her to feel that talking to him, etc is safe - but that's about it.

Overall a guy who's not heavily pursuing does give a woman room/time to actually notice him and check him out, which could cause a positive reaction should there be attraction and a mutual click.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 41
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 3:53:43 PM

Somewhere along the line, I would almost guarantee there was at least one man in your dating past that you really liked, maybe even fell in love with, that played cool but really wasn't. So the answer to your questions is, you do. You just didn't know he was practicing on you.


Red Del papa, playing it cool is not ignoring someone. Also, to not ignore someone does not equate to complete honesty. When you’re unsure and your interest in someone is not reciprocated it would be wise to to listen to your gut instincts and yes, maybe play it cool in order to protect yourself and to avoid making her feel uncomfortable. But in the end, if a girl is into you, really in to you, and the feeling is mutual there is very little you can do wrong by being honest since there is no reason not to be.



I think when women in this forum talk about how they'd like to be treated by men, they're usually talking about how they'd like to be treated by men they're already attracted to and invested in. Is that a fair observation?

mjk, yes, absolutely. That was my assumption.



The guys here are talking more about how to generate the initial interest and maintain it until a woman has bought in. I think the best thing to do is to respond to the emotional cues the other person is giving you and cultivate a mindset where you aren't interested in putting a ton of energy into pursuing someone who hasn't yet shown a high level of interest in you. There's nothing dishonest about that.

That is also how I feel.



It doesn't matter what game you play in the beginning if a girl isn't interested in you. I have never started liking a guy that ignored me or played some type of game.
Actually, I don't think I'd even realize a guy was ignoring me, because if I wasn't interested I wouldn't miss him or realize he was ignoring me...
If a guy I did like ignored me, that would be a turn off and I'd move on.

metalvixxn, I have never started to like someone because he played games or ignored me either. As a matter of fact, I am highly allergic to manipulative behavior like that.

Everything WomanInProgress wrote makes sense to me. I think some men confuse giving someone space with ignoring/playing games with her. It's not the same.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 42
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 6:02:05 PM
womaninprogress: good post. nice to see some ladies post some honest, logical answers.

i know that in most cases, if a woman doesnt find you appealing physically, no game is gonna work. this isnt a way around that. as you suggested, its just a way to get the attention of a woman you may find interesting. in many cases, getting that initial bit of interest from a woman is the hardest part. once you get that, its up to you what you do with it. ive always been fortunate that once a woman gets to know me, theyre generally interested.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 43
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 6:29:08 PM


Red Del papa, playing it cool is not ignoring someone. Also, to not ignore someone does not equate to complete honesty. When you’re unsure and your interest in someone is not reciprocated it would be wise to to listen to your gut instincts and yes, maybe play it cool in order to protect yourself and to avoid making her feel uncomfortable. But in the end, if a girl is into you, really in to you, and the feeling is mutual there is very little you can do wrong by being honest since there is no reason not to be.

Yes I agree with your initial statement. What I was commenting on was your refusal of any man who may use techniques to peak your interest. I maintain that at least 1 time in your life, techniques were used on you and that they worked.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 44
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 6:40:31 PM


i know that in most cases, if a woman doesnt find you appealing physically, no game is gonna work. this isnt a way around that. as you suggested, its just a way to get the attention of a woman you may find interesting. in many cases, getting that initial bit of interest from a woman is the hardest part. once you get that, its up to you what you do with it. ive always been fortunate that once a woman gets to know me, theyre generally interested.


I maintain that almost every woman, whether knowingly or unknowingly, is always poking and prodding in search for a chink in a man's armor, or other general reason to toss him into their friend zone. It never stops. It persists throughout the life of a relationship. And I also maintain that the more attractive the woman is, the more this is true. It's too bad, but it just seems to me to be the way it is.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 45
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 6:55:48 PM

Yes I agree with your initial statement. What I was commenting on was your refusal of any man who may use techniques to peak your interest. I maintain that at least 1 time in your life, techniques were used on you and that they worked.


I can’t know if techniques were used in the past. I can think of times when someone pretended to be more interested in me than he actually was. In those situations he may have fooled me for a period of time. What I am mainly interested is the person himself. Often techniques (even when they are well intended) does not give me an accurate picture of someone which I am after so I can have the freedom to develop an interest naturally based on his personality, not who he pretends to be. The only thing I have refused is my interest in some who has ignored me. To me ignoring me means not returning my phone calls or seeming disinterested in me. Not sure 100% anymore what you mean by technique though.

Also, I highly doubt you would know me better than I know myself so I am thinking maybe we are not understanding each other.
 tgrlily3
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 46
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 7:51:55 PM
^^^I agree with what your are saying and again, this whole thread has me confused. Why some guys are on here saying that we're being less than honest is really odd to me.

Some women only know and want the type of man who treats then poorly, ignores them, then comes back, etc. I get it, I've seen it. To be fair to the other women who are not posting on here, whether they aren't reading the thread or agree with the OP, I used to be like that and I admit it. But I'm older now, and maybe that's the difference between the few of use who reject the statement that women want to be ignored and that makes us more interested. But to say, even when I was younger, that I like it would be inaccurate. I think I might say, I wanted to control the situation more than I was, I didn't dig it, or like it.

No, I don't want to be smothered, I don't want a guy professing his love for me after the 2nd date but I DO want to be treated well. And to me, being treated with care and respect, means contacting me a few times a week and seeing each other once a week if possible. Anything else, I'm just not interested. But go ahead, and say I'm lying because apparently you guys all know me better than I know myself.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 47
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 8:09:26 PM
Ok. I can agree with that. To me ignoring means the same thing. Not returning attempted contact. What I mean by technique is, at some point in your life, you were attracted to, someone who didn't act as attracted to you as they actually were. Because of it, they were granted time with you they otherwise would not have gotten. Had they been completely true to their emotions and acted as they felt, you would have discarded and friend zoned him. Does that make sense?
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 48
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 8:19:16 PM
tgrlily2day,

Something to think about. Is a woman really being treated poorly by a man if he's making all the right moves that cause her to feel that all important chemistry with him? Women crave that all important chemistry.

The rest of your post I completely understand and agree with.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 49
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 8:25:21 PM
tgrlily2day: thats exactly what i mean. you admitted that you were once the type that went for a man who would treat you poorly and ignore you. now, i bet if someone were to ask you back then what you wanted, youd never have said that you wanted a guy that treated you poorly and ignored you, yet your actions spoke the opposite. thats backs up my earlier point when i said that a woman isnt honest about what she wants. perhaps now you want a guy that treats you well, as you say, but things were not always so. thats why i say that as men, we generally cant take the advice of women when they say what they want in a man, its almost always misleading.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 50
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/11/2012 8:29:49 PM

Ok. I can agree with that. To me ignoring means the same thing. Not returning attempted contact. What I mean by technique is, at some point in your life, you were attracted to, someone who didn't act as attracted to you as they actually were. Because of it, they were granted time with you they otherwise would not have gotten. Had they been completely true to their emotions and acted as they felt, you would have discarded and friend zoned him. Does that make sense?


I hear men say that and I see some women (whom I don’t think very highly of) respond to it but it never made sense to me. The same with chasing games. I don’t think I know and understand others enough to say they are wrong in what they want, feel and think. It just rubs me the wrong way when complete strangers say they are sure of what I respond to or what I am not aware of.
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