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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?      Home login  
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 seaj2011
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 101
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
mysterioustallmn - this is just about the truth!!!
 seaj2011
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 102
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/23/2014 8:55:03 AM
AMEN! She may look good but you cannot stereotype any woman...regardless of looks.
 Kittyxoxoxo
Joined: 3/5/2013
Msg: 103
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/23/2014 11:28:39 AM

it's stupid games people play.

nobody can ever just be honest with each other and be true. instead they have to play mind games and be ridiculous.



Co-sign.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 104
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/23/2014 2:15:05 PM
JDH1120- This was a problem when I was wayyyy younger, in high school.
Now that I'm in my 40's, I have NO patience for games.
If I don't hear from you, then I think you aren't interested and I move on.
In other words, it's a strategy that can backfire, BIG time.
People will give you good advice and people will give you bad advice, this is bad advice.
I agree with the others who have said to be authentic and show interest, just don't go overboard and you will be fine.
Games are for children, adults should know better, jmo.
 Shirley1215
Joined: 7/15/2014
Msg: 105
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/23/2014 10:33:41 PM
It could work. If a woman doesn't know you, and she has noticed you in the crowd, that may pull her in. Personally, if I were interested in a man, and after showing interest at first, he did that, I would assume, right or wrong, that I gotten my signals mixed up, or that, upon closer inspection, for whatever reason, he had simply changed his mind.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 106
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/24/2014 4:32:53 AM
Free advice is often worth the price that was paid for it.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 107
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/24/2014 2:01:40 PM
If I'm already not paying attention to you, how in the HELL am I supposed to know you are ignoring me?

I agree with some other posters here.
Stop with the games already.
Cindy O
 ace41s
Joined: 2/19/2014
Msg: 108
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/28/2014 6:06:23 AM
Basically it means, don't drool or fawn over her or lavish her with compliments, or talk about how much you like her - this is a turn off and makes it look like you're only interested in her for her looks.

When you talk to her just talk to her confidently and like you would anyone else, and avoid mentioning "how beautiful" she is at all. Then you come across as sincere and not intimidated by her beauty.

Also you have to take time to let a woman show interest in you back (I think this is also what they mean by "ignoring" her) - ex. don't keep smothering her with conversation if she isn't reciprocating - you have to 'take a hint' if she's not showing mutual interest, and just move on.
 ace41s
Joined: 2/19/2014
Msg: 109
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/28/2014 6:11:51 AM


Your friends must all be 12 years old.

Nothing wins over a woman more than being honest and letting her know she is is special...the most special woman in the Universe. This doesn't mean being clingy or smothering but making her your priority.

This 'ignoring' stuff and other games belong in the school yard.


That's not true - his friends actually know what they're talking about.

There's a big difference between a woman you're in a relationship with already, and a woman you're just meeting.

Going up to a woman you find attractive and lavishing her with compliments about how beautiful she looks doesn't work and doesn't look sincere (and it really isn't because you can't know a person who you just met is "special" - you don't even know her yet!).

Basically his friends are saying you should just talk to her like you would anyone else (ex. if you have a mutual interest such as working out, or listening to a certain type of music - start a conversation about that - rather than start a conversation about how "beautiful/sexy" she is - or how "it's love at first sight", etc).

So you actually have a lot to learn, and should probably take advice from those friends of his instead of giving out bad and generic advice
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 110
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/28/2014 7:13:07 AM

Unless the woman knows what is going on! Sometimes this occurs quite naturally and can be effective but when l recognize it and it feels manipulative......well......I just decide to have a little fun! Lol


Very interesting point.

I was explaining this to my girlfriend, since I am writing a book about how to successfully date Online. She asked me, then, "Did I do that on our first date?" So I told her that yes, I did. And told her exactly what I did. Actually, on that date, because she got annoyed by our waitress coming over every five seconds asking if we wanted dessert, which is a sort of polite way they want you to recycle the table, I misread that, and at first thought she was slightly annoyed with me. So I pulled back even more, then payed our tab and quite frankly was about to end the date when she suggested to have drinks someplace else.

The thing is, that most guys do not understand the concept of the one step back. Even when the woman knows exactly what is going on, that step back is important. It's the equivalent of when closing a sale for the person to shut up and allow the person to buy into it. If the person then interrupts, they end up overselling and then the guard goes up. It's the same psychology.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 111
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/28/2014 9:38:39 AM
since you're writing a book about it, what you describe is called "push/pull". I believe Neil Strauss and Swingcat(since you'll have to credit them in your book) put the name to the procedure. cliffslist.com probably has a complete dictionary of terms.

in my experience, it only works for me when the woman is initially interested in me, and thus I've had it fail many times. the last time it did "Work", it was on an engaged coworker who everyone drooled over, and I just talked to her about all the other coworkers I drooled over. she once told me if she wasn't engaged, she would date me, but she was a tease, so who knows. for sure, tho, we already had some things in common--a love for the sensual, humor, bending rules--but the other women I was telling her about, I was pulling the same trick and they weren't the least bit interested.

but, hey, your mileage may vary. I'm not Tom Selleck or Brad Pitt.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 112
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/28/2014 2:52:52 PM
since you're writing a book about it, what you describe is called "push/pull". I believe Neil Strauss and Swingcat(since you'll have to credit them in your book) put the name to the procedure. cliffslist.com probably has a complete dictionary of terms.


Different people give it different names. And Neil Strauss was not the first to talk about it either. I call it the "Ping" since you are sending a signal and wait for the woman to send you a signal back. The thing is this. This is not a trick, you're not pulling one over the woman either. You are simply doing natural things that through evolutionary biology are engrained in men and women. One is amplifying attraction by creating points of contact. That is the eye contact, then breaking inside their personal space bubble, then touching of non-sexual areas.

If you're simply a douche bag, you do this things until the woman feels annoyed and wants to either leave. Or you pull back. In the pool back, many a times the woman starts to feel more at ease and comfortable. If she likes you then she pings back by breaking your bubble, touching, or then stare at you when you talk. If she is not that warm into you, then move the conversation about something light, but that makes HER talk. You can amplify attraction, but you cannot create it out of thin air. The other thing that works to your advantage is the woman's ego. Very attractive women cannot stand to be denied, so when you do so, they get slightly irritated and then become more aggressive in their pursuit of YOU.

If you use any of these techniques like a formula, nobody is going to go for it. But if you casually do one thing, then the next, and you pull back, you can even tell them what you're doing and you can still get the girl.

Another advantage is that even if they do not ping back, well there you have your answer about pursuing any further.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 113
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/28/2014 4:02:35 PM
It works best on sane people who have interest in you. If they are not interested in what you're selling, it won't help, it's not hypnotism.

I've heard many terms for it, including playing hard to get, challenge, scarcity, and the take away.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 114
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/29/2014 8:22:30 PM
I agree 99% with what Runwithit wrote.

Obviously, you have to at least have been on the woman's radar, in order for "ignoring her" to work.

Never met a woman under 45 years old, who didn't CRAVE attention (from a cool guy who is on her radar). When I have been on a woman's radar, I have found that "ignoring" her has worked well. Did wonders for getting her, "mind right".

Random thought: NEVER accept a woman's offer of "friendship". Now, if SHE initiates her 'friend' request, with all the ways that she will help you meet women who might be interested in you, then, you MAY want to consider it. Otherwise, it's just her stroking her own ego and letting HER feel like she's a "good" person because she didn't have the balls to just say, "Thank you. I am flattered, but not interested."

THINK about it: Did ANY of your male "friends" ever initiate the friendship (offering a one-sided, patronizing, "take it, or leave it", deal), by saying, "Hey Mike, you like hockey. I like hockey too. Want to be friends?"

"Real friendships are reciprocal in nature and happen organically; you CANNOT engineer them."
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 115
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 7/29/2014 11:42:07 PM
^^All my friendship requests come with the disclaimer that I'm not interested. In fact, they wouldn't make sense if I didn't first explain the lack of interest. From there they are welcome to decline the offer - and I tell them that. Those who decide to remain friends are free to find their own women to date (should they find me guys to date?) - that's not my job. I will be more than happy to talk to them about the ones they do find if they need advice, and if they want to date someone I am friends with through a random meeting they are free to connect with those women.
 gingham7
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 116
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/1/2014 11:45:39 AM
Maybe it will work with other women. But not me. I would think he's not that interested and move on.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 117
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/1/2014 10:55:05 PM
I agree with gingham7. Ignore me? Never worked in the past, won't work now.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 118
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/2/2014 9:16:33 AM
ignoring works well on the game players. the women who date in order to obtain a score. for whom its all about the chase, and the winning over. the ones more interested in finding out how attractive they are, by the quality--and quantity--of what they attract.
 gjly2k
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 119
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/3/2014 6:24:50 AM
I'm a straight to the point type of person. The whole playing hard to get etc is not for me never has been cuz the way I see it. It an excuse for the girls to be going off with other lads and giving them a chance and at the same time enjoying the attention as well she revieving.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 120
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 8/5/2014 9:43:18 PM
I wouldn't think actually "ignoring" anyone is going to get their attention, or be attractive.

That being said, there's a difference between "ignoring" someone and perhaps the opposite of seeming "desperate", coming across with an 'air of desperation' to get someone's attention or try to start something with them is not attractive either. I think what your friends are talking about is not 'ignoring' but rather approaching them as 'just another person', striking up a more natural (non-desperate sounding) conversation - treating them as a person and not a 'prize to be won' if that makes sense. Women are generally more keyed socially to mannerisms, and to a degree a guy 'coming on hard' can be a turnoff, while a guy that just acts 'natural' (wants to get to know 'her', not just whats in her pants?) is going to get farther than one that isn't (for the most part - unless she's just looking for a 'hookup').
 seaj2011
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 121
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You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/8/2015 10:43:52 AM
Agreed...sounds cruel.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 122
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/8/2015 2:27:04 PM

boondock: if she doesnt think youre attractive, paying attention to her wont help either. at least by ignoring her somewhat, you will draw attention to yourself.

If she doesn't think you're attractive neither will work. Nor should it matter to you if it does. Unless you like women who don't want you for some reason - then knock yourself out.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 123
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/8/2015 3:51:43 PM
Ignoring someone who has a lot of options is always stupid. Period.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 124
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/8/2015 5:18:49 PM

if she doesnt think youre attractive, paying attention to her wont help either. at least by ignoring her somewhat, you will draw attention to yourself.


In what world would this work? I can't imagine any scenario where you could conciously think.... I'll ignore her since she dosen't think I'm attractive and she'll show me attention ......what are you thinking? If your going that route just walk over kick her on the shin......you'll get her attention for sure...no second guessing I can promise you. :)
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 125
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/8/2015 5:33:45 PM
Just getting attention from a girl is not desirable per se. A guy could get a girl's attention by acting like a jackass. Positive attention is a lot harder to obtain- a guy needs to come off as confident, intelligent, and funny.
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