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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?      Home login  
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 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 126
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

In what world would this work?

In a world more often where the gal has a lower self-esteem and is used to guys macking on them or at least reaching out for convo and ignoring her average or below-average Jane friends. NO angle is ever 100% or close to 100% to "get" a girl. But it's an angle, that yes, can spark some interest. To explain further in response to the OP's original question...

Okay, I have several guy friends who are very skilled at getting women. They all say the same thing, telling me, "Just ignore her" or "Act like she doesnt exist" etc etc. This makes absolutely no sense to me.

Basically, this what Usually happens: Guy(s) walk up to a group of people or all girls, and there's one Hot girl that sticks out. Guys don't have to be directly hitting on her or anything for her to know guys single or taken will be attracted to engaging with her over the others. She draws attention in general. Her friends notice this when around her too, and she doesn't even have to be trying. So yet-another-guy consciously or sub-consciously looking her up and down and soon into things trying to spark conversation because she's hot -- no, isn't impressive. In fact, she gets plenty of it.

So enter in another angle with Joe, who's decent looking but she is, well, still out of his league. Instead, he makes eye contract with her friends and purposely does not with her. Not out of angst. But much the same way guys will be completely lacking eye contact and engagement with at least one of her friends who she's out with. You pretend she's not one of their friends and not someone who's look garners any interest of yours. You're not out to be blatantly rude -- although it could err a bit on that side, just like many guys may make her friends feel it's rude that all they do is look and direct attention to their hot friend 75% of the time. So you do this, and her guard will go down as you being yet-another-guy, and sometimes intrigued -- why does he like my friend Kate? This doesn't happen very often. They usually go for her only until after they get the signal that I'm not interested in them. Hmmm. Not necessarily THINKING that so consciously & specifically -- but that's the vibe she may have in the back of her mind.

So as this tone is set for a little while when initially engaging with them, she's not going to be on-guard to keeping a distance from yet-another-guy. If anything, more open. What a guy can do after that if he reads the situation right (I know many of you will hiss at me for this) -- is in a Friendly Way, razz her a bit. Not in being mean, but, it's what she is not going to get with guys oggling her or directing their attention by default to Her all the time. It's friendly, not mean, but a bit of friendly razzing no big deal with direction right after pointed to her friends again. What he's doing is a small little preemptive strike that implies that he doesn't seem interested in her. Later on as things settle in, he can end up bantering with her without the vibe that he's really attracted to her like all guys are, but friendly and cordial & charming, as he was to her friends who were the initial/primary targets of attention. This girl rarely gets this. Guard down, and very possibly curious. If there is any Potential for her finding some attraction about him, that would maximize it.

It's very easy to screw up and be a jerk and non-friendly (some advice says to be like that). It's a delicate process.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 127
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/9/2015 9:05:13 AM

Ignoring someone who has a lot of options is always stupid. Period.


Bingo.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 128
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/9/2015 9:55:04 AM
"ignoring someone who has a lot of options is always stupid--period

>>>>I'll actually have to give a caveat/exception to that rule. there are ladies here who in the past have said they get a lot of emails, and thus have options. HOWEVER,for them, the options suck. if they just wanted to get laid, then the options would be "good enough", but they want more, and the guys sending sucky emails aren't in the category of "more".

a smart person who already has good options, doesn't want to waste time diverting themselves with more good options. unless they are insecure and just want to be wanted. otherwise, few give up the proverbial "bird in the hand" for the "bird in the bush". they're happy with what they have, and they want to go live a life of happiness with what's already at hand.

for certain, if you lack what a person's looking for...ignoring them is doing them a favor. and you might just expend your energy upon someone in your league, so you win in the end, as well.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 129
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History
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/9/2015 10:24:10 AM
If somebody I wasn't interested in ignored me, I would probably not even notice.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 130
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/9/2015 12:08:56 PM

It's very easy to screw up and be a jerk and non-friendly


Hmmm.....I can only imagine.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 131
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/9/2015 5:34:41 PM
JDH1120- The title to your thread says "girl", here you say "women".
When you figure out the difference between the two, you won't have to ask this question.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 132
view profile
History
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/9/2015 7:59:41 PM
And for how long would a guy ignore a girl that was interested in him if he were interested in her?

Not coming across as over keen or desperate, yes I get that. But a guy playing it too cool with me, I would soon lose interest. It is game playing and immature......tedious and counter productive.....pass...

Like the "treat em mean and keep em keen", adage, only for the mentally unstable and perverse.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 133
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/11/2015 8:54:04 AM

Ignoring someone who has a lot of options is always stupid. Period.


Somebody who has a lot of options is also more likely to have trouble being monogamous. I don't know if I'd want to date a woman who had men pursuing her 24/7.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 134
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/11/2015 9:47:31 AM


Somebody who has a lot of options is also more likely to have trouble being monogamous. I don't know if I'd want to date a woman who had men pursuing her 24/7.


That is ridiculous and untrue.

I've always had options in every relationship I've been in, but have never cheated on a girlfriend. There have been times when I wish I HAD cheated, though.

Furthermore, most women average looking or above have men pursuing them 24/7. It's just something you have to deal with. Having a desire to protect them from the world for the sake of your own security isn't good.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 135
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/11/2015 10:22:54 AM
I concur Mr. Pig.


Mr. Rose, with regards to this....

"Somebody who has a lot of options is also more likely to have trouble being monogamous. "

I am sure this is true for some but I can assure you not all.


But this statement....

"I don't know if I'd want to date a woman who had men pursuing her 24/7."

Appears to have more to more to do with your insecurities and not the potential behavior of the woman. :)
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 136
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/11/2015 11:18:36 AM

"Somebody who has a lot of options is also more likely to have trouble being monogamous. "

I am sure this is true for some but I can assure you not all.



Correct Kj, and it's only more likely for those with a propensity to cheat to have trouble being monogamous.
Does the majority of those with lots of options cheat? Is that what you are saying Mr. Rose?
tsk tsk... painting with a general brush, aren't cha?




Appears to have more to more to do with your insecurities and not the potential behavior of the woman


B - I (claps) N -G -O! (claps)......B - I (claps) N -G -O! (claps)
and bingo was it's name-o
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 137
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/11/2015 11:52:19 AM
Yes, that's true that not everybody who has a lot of options will cheat. But there's no denying that they have more opportunities to do so.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 138
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/11/2015 12:08:02 PM

Yes, that's true that not everybody who has a lot of options will cheat. But there's no denying that they have more opportunities to do so.


I can see the opposite being valid for women.

A woman that normally doesn't get a lot of male attention might be susceptible to a man that does pay attention to her, while a woman that is used to male attention will ignore it.

And the woman with a lot of male options doesn't have to be in a hurry to leave someone over trivial matters, she knows once she has made up her mind to leave finding someone won't be a problem.

I think the "lots of opportunities" applies much more often to men, though of course not all men.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 139
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/11/2015 12:42:26 PM
Mr. Rose....

On my drive home I pass by 5 different coffee shops.

But you know what? I drive out of my way for the one I LOVE! And I have never cheated on my Starbucks!

Just a little...iced coffee...for thought. :D
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 140
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/11/2015 5:54:52 PM

Somebody who has a lot of options is also more likely to have trouble being monogamous. I don't know if I'd want to date a woman who had men pursuing her 24/7.

If the woman is into the guy she's with there's no reason for her to look elsewhere unless it's in her nature to cheat, and in that case the options available to her or not aren't relevant. Women who don't have options ready and want them can find them easily enough.

In fact, so can men - unless you live somewhere there are no humans, of course.

Personally if I want to cheat, then I don't want to be where I am so I leave where I am. To me that's logical enough. I believe cheating happens with people who want to keep some benefit from where they are now but want to add something to it they feel they should have and don't get in their current situation.

I guess I have never needed anything from where I was bad enough to be unfaithful. I try to make sure I provide myself with everything I need so I can just move on and go where I want to be when the situation arises. Overly simple? Maybe.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 141
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 4:23:31 AM



Somebody who has a lot of options is also more likely to have trouble being monogamous. I don't know if I'd want to date a woman who had men pursuing her 24/7.


That's rich1

It seems what you're saying is that you resent women who not only have options, but they dare use their sense to date the person with whom they feel they're a good match, without making poor decisions just to have somebody in their lives. ''

You don't want an intelligent woman who may question your bias against them or notice the fact that you're a cheapskate; rather, it seems you want somebody desperate enough to only deal with your shit, but have the pleasure of paying for it, too.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 142
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 6:15:57 AM

Somebody who has a lot of options is also more likely to have trouble being monogamous. I don't know if I'd want to date a woman who had men pursuing her 24/7.


I encounter no issue in staying faithful to anyone with whom I am in a relationship, or even someone I'm just casually f*cking. I've never been fond of the idea of having multiple sex partners at the same time. In the event of an unwanted pregnancy/STD/other sexual nuances, I want to be sure, not be embarrassed to have to ask multiple people to submit to a test either way if something comes up.

My reasons are purely pragmatic, I'm a highly organized individual (I even make a notation of when I get laid, when I get my period, which days I workout and the type of workout, etc) and the only items I'm willing to juggle are work, obligations, friends and family...oh, and dates (if such has not lead to sex). I can have multiples in that category, but I find myself incapable of doing the same with sex partners. I even downloaded an app and allows me to track sex partners in the event I ever deviate from my norm. I have OCD tendencies so I always want to keep things organized.

Having more options does not enhance any longing of wanting to be promiscuous or unfaithful.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 143
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 6:48:27 AM

I even downloaded an app and allows me to track sex partners in the event I ever deviate from my norm.


Really? Deviate from the norm? Interesting....

So when I hear people say..."there's an app for that" from now on I can say "you got that right" lol :)

Kind of makes my social event app seem uninspiring........ rather depressing really........:( I dunno.....
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 144
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 7:03:00 AM

Somebody who has a lot of options is also more likely to have trouble being monogamous. I don't know if I'd want to date a woman who had men pursuing her 24/7.


I encounter no issue in staying faithful to anyone with whom I am in a relationship, or even someone I'm just casually f*cking. I've never been fond of the idea of having multiple sex partners at the same time.


Interesting point. For my experience and the people I have seen around me, this applies more often to men. Very attractive men, the type that women drool over always have a hard time keeping their pecker on their pants. While women, even the super model type that have a 100 guys going after them, once they lock on a guy, even if he is a fat b a stard, with more hair than a chinchilla in heat, she stays true to him. Most of the times that I have seen that type of girl stray has been because the guy then felt inadequate or that he was below her sense of league. I remember dating this girl that looked like Michelle Pfeiffer. Men hovered around her like flies, yet she indicated to me that she had not been with a lot of men and that I was in fact her fourth. That may not been exactly true since women tend to under exaggerate, but I had to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Now another thing that I have experience is how many of those very, very attractive women HATE very attractive men for the very reason that they are always so unreliable. And that is the reason, that many times a women would pick me or a guy like me over some hot looking guy.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 145
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 7:19:14 AM
Poor Kiss, he's getting shafted for his comment. I looked back on it again and saw it differently this time.
Perhaps what's he's really saying is he doesn't want to date a woman who cheats...........because the options are there.

Sound better?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 146
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 7:41:43 AM

Belle:
I even downloaded an app and allows me to track sex partners in the event I ever deviate from my norm.


What is this norm you're talking about? And how do you track sex partners-do you attach a GPS to them?
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 147
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 7:55:10 AM

You don't want an intelligent woman who may question your bias against them or notice the fact that you're a cheapskate; rather, it seems you want somebody desperate enough to only deal with your shit, but have the pleasure of paying for it, too.


I can date whoever I want, I live in a free country. My wife left me for another man after we were married for 5 years. I thought it was just a friendship so I didn't think anything of her spending so much time with him. Then after we were separated she called me crying and expected me to feel so for her because this guy was ignoring her. Why should I? It's difficult to learn to trust again.

As for being a cheapskate- I should be a cheapskate if tried to get women to pay for me- which I don't- I always pay for myself. Not wanting to pay for a woman on a first date does not make me a cheapskate- especially since I don't have much money due to a disability.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 148
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 7:58:48 AM

Really? Deviate from the norm? Interesting....

So when I hear people say..."there's an app for that" from now on I can say "you got that right" lol :)

Kind of makes my social event app seem uninspiring........ rather depressing really........:( I dunno.....

There's an app for everything...and I'm very good at using them, lol

I hope that your social event app includes June 27. *wink*


Now another thing that I have experience is how many of those very, very attractive women HATE very attractive men for the very reason that they are always so unreliable. And that is the reason, that many times a women would pick me or a guy like me over some hot looking guy.


Hate is such a strong word...tsk tsk

While I don't consider myself to be the last coca-cola, I dislike highly conventional attractive men because that's a feminine quality to me, so I'm automatically turned off. I like manly-looking men, they are often not pretty boys (Ron Pearlman, John Travolta, Javier Bardem, Alec Baldwin, Marlon Brandon, etc).
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 149
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 8:12:41 AM

Now another thing that I have experience is how many of those very, very attractive women HATE very attractive men for the very reason that they are always so unreliable. And that is the reason, that many times a women would pick me or a guy like me over some hot looking guy.

To me the desirable guy is the one that is hot as hell (or is to me anyway) but doesn't know it/doesn't have a very high degree of narcissism. They are out there...
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 150
You have to ignore a girl to get her attention?
Posted: 6/12/2015 8:26:47 AM
(Ron Pearlman, John Travolta, Javier Bardem, Alec Baldwin, Marlon Brandon, etc).

^^^^
Might want to scratch John out. Still manly but fake about who he is, wife is a beard and he wears a toupee.
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