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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Being in the Moment While Dating      Home login  
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 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 23
Being in the Moment While DatingPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I would think keeping your guards up.......takes priority over being in the moment while engaging in the internet dating arena. Dating can be brutal or fabulous, too many unknowns.


Now if that is what one is experiencing how is that not being in the moment? Believe me I have had those moments and I was right in the moment.
Namaste
Native Kitten
 EG63
Joined: 1/13/2010
Msg: 24
Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/12/2012 3:37:18 PM
Not quite sure how internet dating can pollute anything!
It's a venue like any other place in the outside world where one can come across, let's say, some "interesting characters". I'm sure you have met from time to time those same characters in the outside world, does that mean that dating in general has polluted the way you look at being in the moment?

Quite honestly I believe that any woman who thinks that all males who say "let's go with the flow" are trying to "have casual sex tonight and screw like rabbits because it feels good" has issues with sex and her own sexuality. Either that or she has the capacity of picking exclusively sex addicts out of the normal male population. Men are absolutely capable of getting into "the moment" without necessarily nearing the "sex zone". Proof of that is your date of two months who, while sitting near the Ocean with you in what I assume was a very romantic setting, deflected your question about 3 failed marriages because "he was in the moment". It's my opinion that he really was in the moment and that you ruined that moment asking a question that could have waited a more proper time.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 25
Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/12/2012 3:44:39 PM
""Quite honestly I believe that any woman who thinks that all males who say "let's go with the flow" are trying to "have casual sex tonight and screw like rabbits because it feels good" has issues with sex and her own sexuality. Either that or she has the capacity of picking exclusively sex addicts out of the normal male population. Men are absolutely capable of getting into "the moment" without necessarily nearing the "sex zone". Proof of that is your date of two months who, while sitting near the Ocean with you in what I assume was a very romantic setting, deflected your question about 3 failed marriages because "he was in the moment". It's my opinion that he really was in the moment and that you ruined that moment asking a question that could have waited a more proper time.""

BINGO, we have a winner!! You pegged it exactly right.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 26
Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/12/2012 3:45:08 PM

Now if that is what one is experiencing how is that not being in the moment? Believe me I have had those moments and I was right in the moment.


Semantics. This is what it means to the OP:


That said, I love it when I am in the moment:

Arriving at a high alpine lake while hiking, awe struck by the beauty of nature;
Lying in the dark, watching blazing meteor showers overhead. The height of the Perseid Meteor Shower is tonight;
Playing my flute;
Great sex;
Laughing with friends;
Sweet melting closeness when as a baby, my girl fell asleep on my shoulder, with her warm, relaxed body relaxed against mine;
Smelling a rose; and
Writing well.


My intent was to remind her be more alert and less open while dating strange guys from the internet.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 27
Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/12/2012 9:45:36 PM
My definition of being in the moment, listening with ears of enthusiasm and exploration, seeing whats 6" in front of your face, being able to recall later a few sdjectives from the moment, smelling the smells that ride on little puffs of air that pass you bye so fast yet linger in the mind long afterwards, put down your phone, donate your mind to the possibility of having some pleasantly extraordinary experience thst can only take place st this moment. If you can not do this practice coming up with 10 adjectives for simple things in your world
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 28
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Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/13/2012 2:11:27 AM
I really enjoyed dating; I loved meeting people and "getting" them. It's an extraordinary opportunity to see the world through their eyes and to notice my reactions. That's 'being in the moment while dating' for me.

How in the heck can anyone be in the moment if they are not willing to let things 'be'?
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 29
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Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/13/2012 8:12:09 AM
when dating you are "being in the moment" with someone else. Its not soley about what you are experiencing, you have to have empathy to what they are experiencing as well. When you reach out and gain knowledge of their feelings and perceptions it makes being in the moment an actually shared experience. Should you reach out and feel something you aren't ready for, communication is the key. Yes men are usually "goal orintated" lol. But if you can "see" past that you will find so much more. I also think men put on the "conquest" suit as a sheild to protect their emotions. Once the "rules" are established, and you can argue all day about that, but women do make the rules regarding intimacy... then you can get to know someone. Doesn't mean you have to be intimate first, but once its been hashed out, there is a general relaxing of demeaner...and open communication can begin.

Not all guys start with the conquest part, but many do, especially if they are attracted to you physically and its "been a while". lol
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 30
Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/13/2012 8:56:31 AM

Proof of that is your date of two months who, while sitting near the Ocean with you in what I assume was a very romantic setting, deflected your question about 3 failed marriages because "he was in the moment". It's my opinion that he really was in the moment and that you ruined that moment asking a question that could have waited a more proper time.""


Hard to maintain a moment when you are deflecting questions.. I just do not think the OP was into him. She had her concerns which halted her from taking this relationship up a notch.. It came out then because she felt he wanted to take it up a notch while she did not.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 31
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Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/13/2012 9:46:21 AM
Somehow I think that as nice as you put it and as good as it sounds, that being in the moment means being your "your" moment, the way you see it, feel it, want it, and will force it to happen.

Being in the moment for me, is much more unplanned, enjoying the situation, the journey, and the one you are with.......and that can happen in and out of bed, can lead to bed and sex, or just to another adventure that both enjoyed up to the place and point of where your paths change, and then you must go your way and I must go mine, because the paths no longer travel together.

As much as I might enjoy great sex with a sexy woman, that only happens when wanted by both, invited by you, and understood by each of us about it and the outcomes. If you are dating those that try to force a different outcome, that is yours to work on and find the men that will walk the same path with you. And know this, most men want sex and often, and in my experience over the years, so do women....we just go about attaining that in different ways.......so, your goal is to take your path and hope that it joins those that travel the way you do!!

cd
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 32
Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/13/2012 11:09:58 AM

If you are dating those that try to force a different outcome, that is yours to work on and find the men that will walk the same path with you. And know this, most men want sex and often, and in my experience over the years, so do women....we just go about attaining that in different ways.......so, your goal is to take your path and hope that it joins those that travel the way you do!!


I think a smart man will not try and force the outcome, but assuming here that he is really into you. He is content to be with you and take the time to discuss anything might be on your mind.. However remember nothing in life ever comes with a guarantee so no point really in expecting one, because even if given it can be taken away..
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 33
Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/13/2012 6:02:15 PM
nativerock
Each person experiencing a flow might not be experiencing the same flow.


For me, the definition of being "in the flow" is acting and reacting without conscious though in harmony with what is happening in the moment. It's somewhat rare, but by definition (at least mine) you cannot be in the flow if you are miles apart. Being in the flow is most often used in sports, in trading, in any activity where you are interacting with others, so it could be used in relationships as well.

Being miles about yet thinking you are in the flow is being delusional.


So go with your own flow whatever that is and if someone just happens to be on the same one then maybe you can flow through it together.



The river runs through it? :) I am getting a Zen headache.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 34
Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/13/2012 6:13:56 PM
Sounds like someone got laid under the meteors.
congrats!
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 35
Being in the Moment While Dating
Posted: 8/13/2012 6:40:49 PM

Each person experiencing a flow might not be experiencing the same flow..They can be in the same room and be miles apart.. So go with your own flow whatever that is and if someone just happens to be on the same one then maybe you can flow through it together..

It is really that simple..


This is what I was going to offer. You can have a great experience by simply sharing each others flow-
it sounds as though y ou may be looking for a feeling of 'oneness'- that can happen if you simply enjoy being in your own flow, and you're with a partner who you know well who isn't a putz.
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