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 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 29
Not sure what all of this meansPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
^^^^ Good choice Fred,, Good luck..
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 30
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Not sure what all of this means
Posted: 8/16/2012 9:08:02 PM


One thing I love about men is that they mean what they say and say what they mean. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of most women.

This one is a crapshoot... my advice is go no contact. If she wants you, she will let you know - if she doesn't, she won't.

Best of luck to you!
J

Whoa, hold the phone. This isn't true at all. Men do and say the same things to women trying to let them down softly. I've done it before in the past. Now that I'm a little older, I tend to tell them a more blunt truth, but still politely as possible. I will tell her the chemistry just isn't there, I'm sorry. Or if my decision was brought about by something she's done, I will tell her that she has irreparably turned me off.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 31
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Not sure what all of this means
Posted: 8/16/2012 9:27:58 PM


I last spoke with her 3 days ago. I said that I believed in her even if she doesn't believe in herself. That I see the best of her even despite any of these problems she's facing. I know we're not perfect for each other and this may not be the right time in our lives, but I know that I love you and I value that a lot. She responded that she misses me as well and that this is just a shitty situation but she can't talk to me because she needs to focus on herself right now. Anxiety and depression are somewhat mild but it is a precedence to take care of those things in her life before she can focus on me. She knows that I would be a distraction as she is a giving type. It's hard to gauge what exactly I should be doing.. but when I say "go no contact" I'm saying I'm going to leave her alone for a month and then reevaluate the situation. If she wants to come to me I'm more than willing to help her out but I don't want to be freezed out or get in her space when she's asked for exactly that.


Op,

I've seen this before plenty of times. Even in my own experience. The bottom line is, she doesn't want you anymore. I know that answer hurts, and it's not the answer you want to hear. Look at her actions man. She's not making any effort to get back together with you and she's not going to.

I bet I can tell you what's going to happen with 95% accuracy. You're going to keep trying to talk to her and help her, etc. Then, all of a sudden, like within a day or so of you having what you thought was a really good, encouraging talk with her, you're going to discover she's met someone new and that she had no problem whatsoever jumping into his arms and into his bedroom. And the you're going to hurt like hell again and be angry at her for "lying to you" this whole time. Ask me how I know. I'm telling you, here and now her actions are not lying to you.

When a woman is attracted to a man, they act on it. She is not attracted to you anymore bud. I'm sorry.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 35
Not sure what all of this means
Posted: 8/18/2012 8:29:49 PM
Ahh, hey, Topher Grace, I love your work, especially in that 70's show...

I read your posts and you come off like the character Eric, the to "nice" guy...

There is a reason Eric and say Jackie never got together, they were different types of people , and Jackie would never put up with Eric's good guy"whimpy" persona ,and why she enjoyed Kelso's "macho" attitude, and Eric and Donna were more compatible,lol....

You are so into her from your posts, it is crazy, and love can be that way...The Dumpee , usually always feels that , what the heck did I do or not do, or what did I not have or what did I do to much of, attitude...Drop it now, it will stay with you already for a long time, but dwelling on it will drive you nuts , as I know from many peoples experiences and my own as well...Especially when she is still telling you, I love you , I miss you , I blah blah blah, but I can not be with you , its me not you...I am depressed , anxiety,lol, what does anxiety have to do with not being in a relationship,LMAO, you seem more calmer than a Buddhist monk... Not to mention why can she not work out her depression and anxiety with you, as you seem like a pretty positive guy...

Regardless, I personally think it is dangerous for your emotional state to be friends with her in the long run, but you will still probably play the nice guy, but I would WISCONSIN her,lol...
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 37
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Not sure what all of this means
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:36:44 PM
NattyFredLocks,

Repeat this to yourself a hundred times per day, every day, for the next three months. Feel it, and believe it:

"I was nothing but kind and respectful to her, and she sh*t in my face for it."

Believe me, it will help a ton.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 40
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Not sure what all of this means
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:01:02 PM
I think it'll work for anyone who's been used up and then discarded like an old shoe. Like you..

Don't even think the words second chance until and if she hunts you down and reaches out to you. She's put you out to pasture. Look around and notice there are no fences. So wonder off and start a new chapter somewhere else, while repeating to yourself what I said.
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